


Fox Weyr

by AidenAurelio



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2020-10-14 18:10:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 165,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidenAurelio/pseuds/AidenAurelio
Summary: When Bronze Rider Wymack rides in Search of new weyrlings to stand on the hatching grounds to witness the birth of a new generation of dragons, his beloved and lifelong dragon partner let's him know that there is one young man who NEEDS to come with them to the Weyr.When young Neil finds himself suddenly surrounded by dragon riders insisting that he come with them to Palmetto Reaches to Impress a dragon of his very own, its too good a promise to turn down. Especially when bronze rider Kevin Day appears and lets him know his secret past isnt so secret anymore.





	1. In Search

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love Pern, and i love the Foxes, too! So far this is just the introduction where I merged both stories together and gave a little backstory and a few character descriptions, but it's by no means original. I'm hoping that once I get the characters into the Weyr I can start to weave my own tale in, but if you guys want to know more about dragons and Pern, hop on over to  
Pern.srellium.org/intro.htm  
And  
https://pern.fandom.com/wiki/Pern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pern is a magical place where anyone can be Searched by dragon riders and deemed worthy of earning the mantle themselves, but what will happen when young runaway Neil finds he's not only worthy, but thst dragons and call for him by name- including Kevin Day's magnificent bronze dragon K'holinth.

“As you all well know…” started a deep, resonate voice, catching the attention of the huge crowd seated within the beautiful amphitheatre, though there was no need for it. Everyone was already staring wide eyed and eager at the tall man at the center of the stage. Well… Mostly everyone. Some were busying themselves with props and costumes backstage, and others were just on the edge of the crowd, chatting quietly or craning their necks up to the sky as if to catch a glimpse of something there, even on such a clear, cloudless morning. One young man, leaning against the back of the stage but not even half as busy as those bustling about fully hidden behind the curtains, took his chance to peek out at the crowd itself. If everyone was concentrated on the speaker, they wouldn’t care about him, hiding in the shadows, yet surrounded by people. And if he was attacked… at least Neil was close enough to the stage and he could beg for help. There had to be SOMEONE who would help him, especially here at a Gather just weeks before the Games would start.

“Our dear, beloved home- our most gracious planet of Pern started its history by being settled by our great ancestors who wished to escape a war-torn, society where people soared through the dark sky beyond the sky- through the Space between the stars as easily as our own Dragons fly Between landmarks here on the surface of our planet.” the tall man continued. Something in his voice was almost rhythmic, and his tone set the history of their planets colonization in a time that no one in attendance could possibly imagine- though everyone tried. Neil spared a glance up at him, and smiled briefly. The tall man was dressed in a leather outfit that was a bit too ornamental and ceremonial to be of any use, its thick cotton underclothes replaced by soft and flowing tunics that were too long to really be of any use in the skies if he was supposed to be representing a great Dragon Rider. Still, it set the mood just like his hair, styled to look wind blown, and his face smeared with patches of ash. As a few dancers started to slowly circle the man and music rose to accompany the strong historian’s voice, the young man turned his attention back to his own surroundings. He didn’t need to see the show- it was his second time attending today- but he didn’t mind hearing the history again. No one did. 

“Our forefathers were determined to escape war and greed that tore nations apart and destroyed entire worlds by settling here and starting a brand new colony in a remote, far off region of the galaxy- the amazing expanse that holds all the stars. Initially…” Here, the man paused as the music shifted to something pleasant, but building in tension as the dancers started to play out the scene of landing from grand spaceships and departing to start a grand new life on a beautiful new planet. “INITIALLY! Our great forefathers took little notice of the red planet that at times graced their skies- that in fact circled our sun Rukbat, and were gravely unaware that its strange path through the sky would send it away into the expanse, only to turn it around and bring it back again every 250 years or so. They were so unaware that for eight blissful years, they settled and colonized and started families of their own in hopes of a grand new life…”

The music started to rise higher and higher as the dancers started to prance around, casting occasional glances towards the skies, almost mirroring the audience.”And then… As you well know, fate herself brought that deadly red menace to the skies of our dear Pern once more.” The music all but exploded, and thick tendrils of silver ribbons fell from somewhere at the top of the stage, eliciting a shocked cry from the crowd as it landed and triggered inky black tendrils of parasitic arms to spring up from the stage floor, devouring anyone and anything it touched. “The deadly spores that evil star towed in its wake began to rain down in silvery strands, which quickly devoured all organic material -- that is any plant, animal, and human -- it came in contact with! Our great ancestors panicked and grieved, suffering heavy losses from this first fall of what they would come to name Thread.”

Now, as the music turned mournful and stretched on as funerals played out and characters hurried into place on stage, Neil took his chance to glance around himself, making sure to peek back at those hustling around behind himself as well. He didn’t want someone to sneak up behind him, after all. Sure he was safe from that angle- since it was hard enough to even get backstage himself without first finishing hours of hard labor- he turned back to the crowd. He had been sure he saw two of his father’s men there before… but… maybe he was wrong. He could have just been tired. He had been on the run for weeks now, and it was hard to keep watch so many nights alone and keep running, constantly looks around and jumping at every noise and NOT be a little paranoid. He took a deep breath when this sweep of the crowd came back with no familiar faces as well. As the music started to shift from a funeral march into a more marshalled, determined rhythm, he dared turn one ear’s attention back to the play.

“Using their remaining technology, the first settlers urgently set out to learn as much as they could about this menace Thread. Through their research they learned many things! Firstly, this death by raining silver strangs would fall every three days for six hours, and these Falls would continue for 50 years, give or take! Secondly, after a 200 year Thread-free Interval- again, give or take!- another Pass would begin.” Briefly, Neil wondered what sort of technology it would take to be able to discover something like that. Could it tell the future? Could he use it to tell him how long HE had until death rained down on his head, too? 

“And thirdly, this threat would NOT be the devastating, world eating disaster that would make their landing all for nothing! In fact, it could be killed with fire, water, or freezing things. Pilots - their Riders of nonliving, metal sky Dragons- were quickly drafted to fly their cold, unthinking Dragons to combat the Falls with flamethrowers similar to the very same our Queens still use till this day! But... this was only a temporary solution. The sleds- their metallic companions- would wear out and break down and they had no fuel to keep them going on our beloved new planet. The colony had not counted on needing to use them on such things, and they certainly did not plan on having to replace them!” Now, the metal looking props on stage started to break apart or even dissolve in the hands of their owners. It was impressive, and Niel spared a glance up to watch it.

“What the colonists- what our ancestors needed was a renewable air-force to combat the deadly rain of Thread. They needed something that would LAST! Something that could help them- that could SAVE them! And so what else could they do but stand on their new planet and take a good, long look around? What else could they do but turn their eyes to a native life-form to supply their need?!” The roaring voice of the man on stage seemed to weave in and out of the bright and hopeful music, and even Neil grinned, knowing what was coming. 

“The small fire-dragonets, named just so for their uncanny resemblance to mythical Terran dragons of lore and legend, were naturally equipped to fight Thread. Here, already living- THRIVING on our beautiful new planet- they not only could breathe fire after consuming a native rock that grew along their hatching shores but they could also could teleport themselves out of danger. These beautiful little creatures no bigger than a forearm with tails extending to the shoulder of a grown man had a brilliant if whimsical ming, and they empathically bonded with their human owners as soon they hatched. That bond- that beautiful, unbreakable bond was the seed of hope we all needed!” As soon as the speaker said that, Neil grinned lightly as he let his eyes follow the flickering of colors over the stage. The crowd gasped and cheered, seeing the beautiful little dragonettes suddenly appear and weave themselves about, preening in the attention and raising chittering voices to the music. They WERE beautiful, he had to admit. Neil almost- ALMOST glanced to his own shoulder when he realized the familiar weight and distinct chittering wasn’t there. Quickly, he aborted the motion and swallowed hard, forcing his eyes away from the beautiful flying creatures and back to the crowd. He had to pay attention.

“The fire-dragonets, rearing bravely up and puffing their tiny chests to breathe swaths of flame did their best to shield their beloved bonded human friends during that tragic First Fall, but they simply weren't large enough to offer full protection. They simply were NOT large enough! And yet… How could we give up?! With the courage of a thousand dragonnets, our saviour Kitti Ping used her own expansive mind and the advanced technology of our ancient ancestors to manipulate the DNA of the fire-dragonets until they could produce a number of large eggs- eggs so large they could reach the top of the head of a boy ten Turns old- on which the hopes and future of the new colony rested.”

“Eighteen! Eighteen was the number! The eighteen magnificent dragons which successfully hatched immediately turned their eyes out to the crowd of gathered youngsters and Impressed- bonded for life in a way that no one- NO ONE who has never Impressed a dragon could ever possible imagine- and surprised them by telepathically speaking their very own names to their chosen partner. They knew, as soon as they hatched, who they were and who they were meant to me! When they reached their full growth, these eighteen beautiful dragons would be able to breathe fire and fly to battle Thread with their riders on their backs, even more effective than their own beloved ancestors, the beautiful fire-dragonets!” The man’s voice was raised, but the sounds from the crowd were almost too loud as full grown dragons- eighteen in total- suddenly appeared up high. Neil craned his neck again, awestruck as his breath caught and his chest ached. Dragons! Real, live Dragons! Flying high in the sky above his head!! Looping and twirling and flickering from one place to another!! He had seen it before, yes, but it was no less grand this time around!

“Just like the fire-dragonets, the Dragons came in five colors. The golden queens were the largest of the breed,” The man continued to boom, and a beautiful golden dragon swooped down above the heads of the crowd. Of course, she wasn’t nearly close enough for them to actually touch, but they could feel the wind from her wings, and the brilliant grin on the face of the pretty young woman who ride on her back, clad in a similar leather outfit to the speaker. Her Riding Gear was a lot more functional, but the similarities were duly noted. “And they mated with the bronze or brown that managed to catch them, producing the next generation of dragons.” At this, the queen rose high in the sky while bronze and brown dragons swooped to take her place, then rose up in the sky after her, their own riders grinning excitedly. Neil watched the boys chase, and felt his heart leap as the bronze veered dangerously close to the queen. Instead of crashing, though, their wings matched for a few beats before the queen’s rider gave a gleeful laugh and her dragon edged out ahead, beating the bronze dragon in their race. 

“Now, the smaller blues didn't have the stamina for a gold's mating flight, but these brave, strong warriors proved much more maneuverable against Thread and could dive and twist and spin midair, catching this disgusting menace in a way that the larger bronze never could,” The speaker continued as a set of beautiful blue dragons twisted and twirled in the air, acrobatics astonishing even Neil as he watched them turn trick after trick over the astonished crowd. “And our beloved and numerous greens, the smallest of the dragons were never to be outdone! Amorous to their cores, our charming greens were faster still and proved to be the difference between many races between Thread and its insatiable fall to the surface of our dear Pern. If the dragons weren’t fast enough, after all, the Thread could be left to fall on grass or tree or flesh, and would burrow and devour voraciously until nothing was left!” And finally, the last of the dragons raced past, brilliant and green! Neil felt his heart threatening to pound of of his chest as he watched them race, bodies longer and sleeker than any of the other dragons, moving impossibly fast as they circled the crowd and riled their cheers. It took everything he had not to raise his own voice as well. Dragons! Dragons were flying! 

The beautiful dragons dove and dived to the cheers of the crowd as the music continued, only slowing as the sound came to an end. As if to send them off, the song repeated the scores each color received upon introduction until they were all in a squadron formation, and only then, when each dragon was positioned just so behind the queen, did the music stop. As if on cue, the dragons blinked out of existence with one last beat of their wings, sending a rush of cold down onto the excited crowd and earning another roaring cheer. Already, Neil missed them, but he knew there was more to the history- more to be told. Carefully, he turned his eyes back to the crowd as well. Nearly everyone continued to look up at the sky of the open amphitheatre until the music started to rise again, bright and hopeful and drawing their attention back to the speaker once more.

“As our beloved Dragons and their Riders continued to bond and battle in the skies of our new home, the structure of Pern's society also developed. Over the years, the dragons and their riders lived and trained in extinct volcanoes they called named Weyrs, making homes deep within the volcanic rock and using the heat deep within Pern herself to heat the waters that flowed nearby. Each Weyr, once we had enough Riders, was chosen specifically for its viability to house dragons as well as protect the growing population and spreading settlers. Lead and governed by the Riders of the Senior Queen- that is the eldest or strongest- and her Bronze or Brown mate. Food was tithed to the Weyrs by those that farmed the land and lived together in caves and stone buildings known as Holds, each one BEHOLDEN to the Weyrs for protection against Threadfall. Each led by a Lord and Lady Holder. Other goods as well were tithed by the various autonomous Crafthalls. Weyr, Fisher, Miner, Harper, Trader, Weaver, Healer, and Farmer were just a few of the most basic Craft Masters that helped to give our society a firm foundation. Each Craft trained their members in particular skills under the guidance of an elected Craftmaster.” The speaker said, and a series of similarly clad ‘craftmasters’ came to dance around him, each displaying their Marks. Neil thought about all of the different subdivisions each original craft hall had now, and found himself quite honestly amazed. The original settlers on Pern really did do a good job. Honestly, he didn’t know if a similar collection of people from today’s Pern would be able to do it. He certainly knew that if even ONE was anything like his father, it would have never worked. 

“After long years and dutiful lives, Dragons finally Flamed the last of the Thread that fell on that first fateful Pass and each Crafthall and Hold alike thanked them with tythe and offerings, knowing that without them Pern could not survive. Everyone on Pern knew that the only way they survived was by working together- Dragons fighting Thread in the sky and Crafthalls and Holds providing what the Dragons had no time to cultivate for themselves. Life on Pern had been saved by working TOGETHER, just as our original colonists intended!” Now, there was a slow ebbing to the music as the speaker and dancers moved about the stage, setting a new scene to indicate the long years between Threadfall.

“Two hundred years or more passes as the long Interval between each Threadfall. Two hundred years or more. That’s how long dragons must wait- train- keep tradition and skills alive! For Two hundred years or more, generations of Pernese must survive and savor, remembering always that they have survived… but that the Red Star- that baleful menace that laughs in our faces as it dumps the evil Thread down on us- The Red Star will return! But for two hundred years or more we must survive, and live and THRIVE and enjoy life while we can!” Another voice half sang.

“For Two hundred years or more, we live… We live, and we raise families under clear skies, telling our children about Thread and Dragons and remembering the fight with Thread and the bonds that must be formed… For two hundred years or more, we pass from generation to generation… For two hundred years or more… sometimes… we forget. We are safe, after all. When was the last time anyone saw Thread…? A dragonnet? A USEFUL Dragon?” Came a younger voice, easily shifting from hesitant and hopeful to discouraged- even a little resentful. Neil felt his lips tighten down into a thin line as he glanced towards the skies, now clear of any sign of Dragons or the terrible silver ribbons. 

“And why Tythe?! We work hard for our stores, and we have to send a fraction to lazy Dragons and their Riders who do nothing but train for a threat that seems more like a tale to scare children in from rainclouds than an actual threat! It has been nearly two hundred years, after all! When was the last time you’ve even seen anyone who has even seen someone who has seen Thread?!” an angry, almost indignant voice bellowed, and Neil didn’t miss the way the music started to rise. 

“As you all well know…” The strong voice started again, just as he had started the act in the beginning, stepping forward again to grab the attention of everyone in attendance. “We have now had fourteen Threadfalls and are at the end of another Interval. My friends- my cousins- my brothers and sisters. Next year, Thread falls. There are those of us who doubt- who keep their children inside when Dragons fly over, not wishing for them to be marked as capable of bonding with such a marvelous beast and for fear of them becoming useless and hated. There are those of us who keep high trees right by our house, easy and delicious pickings for Thread to devour. There are those of us who forget the teachings of old and build houses not of stone, which Thread cannot eat through, but of wood and cheaper materials for convenience. There are those of us who let their herd beasts graze out in the open and only provide them minimal shelter from harmless rain and clouds. There are those of us… who scorn and curse the Weyr and hardly even believe that Thread will fall… After all… it’s been two hundred years or more since the last Fall.” 

Neil felt a hot shiver of fear race down his spine at the severity of the man’s last words and the way someone played out one last mournful musical note, leaving everyone to consider just how they would meet the coming year. Neil knew for a fact that there were more than a handful of people who would fall in the pool of those who didn’t believe. Those would would refuse to believe, right up until that dreadful rain fell down on their heads. Swallowing hard, he tried his best to calm his heart as he heard the first slow claps of the coming standing ovation. He couldn’t help but wonder how someone who had no home- stone or wood or even grass- could possibly be expected to survive something as terrible as Thread. The only way he would be able to live would be if a dragon hovered over his head with a lungful of flame day in and day out. And no dragon could possibly care that much about someone like him.

And who is… someone like you? Came a voice so deep inside Neil’s mind that he nearly stumbled forward, the hard shiver racing down his spine again and making his legs weak as the roar from the thunderous applause seemed to vibrate the air itself. Whipping around to find the speaker, Neil was met by the massive head and slowly whirling brilliant blue-green eyes of a dragon. An actual dragon- a BRONZE dragon- just inches away from him. Too late, Neil realized that the hustle and bustle backstage had turned into frantically hushed awe. The dragon, massive enough that his head alone nearly doubled Neil’s entire body, stared at him for a moment more before a thin, almost iridescent second lid flickered over the multifaceted orb closest to him and he let out a slow, steady breath. Somehow, it sounded like a laugh.

“Hey- forgive my dragon!” An older male’s voice called out, and Neil jumped again, numb and sluggish mind racing to catch up with the current situation as he quickly backpedaled and searched for the invading man. The Rider stepped from behind his dragon, his full riding gear seeming so much more impressive up close. “Wy’Rhaun is usually just as blunt and intrusive as I am, only he has no filter. I can’t imagine what kind of scare he could give you after watching THAT,” grinned the older man, gesturing towards the still full stage as all of the dancers and musicians continued to bow. Neil wondered how long it would be before the audience noticed there was a DRAGON behind the huge stage, and glanced around for any possible exit. The dragon, giving a curious puff of air the blew Neil’s hair back from his face, leaned his long neck back until he was no longer inches away and could instead turn his attention to the watching stagehands. Neil struggled to force his attention back to the man in front of him, and wondered if he should run for his life- if he COULD run for his life. Dragons were faster, and so, so, so much bigger in person! There was no way he could run away!

“I have to--” he started, already half turning.

“Hey now, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone RUN from a dragon man before.” the man said, taking on a casual stance but giving Neil an intense look with his deep brown eyes. 

“I don’t know you. Why would I stick around?” the younger man shot back, knowing he was sounding rude but what else could he do?!

“Well, dragons are on Search, for one. Didn’t you hear- Thread’s about to fall. Have you ever considered I might be looking to recruit someone like you?” the man offered, and the same hard shiver ran down Neil’s spine. The voice deep inside his head echoed the last words and he swallowed hard. When dragonriders went on Search, it meant that they were looking to find young men and women who could go to their Weyr’s hatching grounds and hope to Impress a newly hatched dragon of their own. This man was giving out impossible promises. 

“Bullshit,” Neil said. “Dragons are supposed to Search and find people who actually WANT to be dragon riders, right? What would a Weyr want with a nobody like me? You didn’t even ask what Hold or Crafthall I’m from.”

“Actually, I did try asking around before I approached you. Since you were here with the Harpers, I thought maybe you were part of their Hall, but even before my Wy’Rhaun came to sniff you out, no one could tell if you were a new fosterling or part of the Merchant Crafthall or even a local Hold bred boy. So I had no choice but to come to you face-to-face myself.” the brown eyed man said almost too nonchalantly.

“You did what?” Neil breathed, eyed flickering back up to the dragon, then around to the crowd. People were starting to mill about and trail out of the amphitheatre to the huge open field beyond, where a myriad of booths and stalls were set up for goods and foods, everyone ready to have a great time at the bazaar like meeting of any and every Crafthall and Hold called a Gather. If he didn’t hurry out, it would be hard to slip away and blend in again without being specifically branded a Harper boy- or worse, that one Harper boy the Bronze dragon was looking after but came from nowhere.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t really have time to wait for your folks to come and talk. I came because I was on Search and we have one last egg that doesn’t have a boy to stand in the sands for hatching. If I can’t find someone before the egg hatches, the dragon might be born and unable to bond. If that happens, the hatchling will be so distaught it’ll force itself Between and suicide. With this coming Threadfall, we need all the dragons we can get,” the Bronze dragonrider said with an earnestness that was too hard to deny. Still…

It took Neil two tries and a deep lungful of air to find his voice. “You can’t be serious.”

“Very serious, and very out of time,” the man said. He reached back and placed a hand on his dragon’s still curved neck, causing the massive head to swivel back around and the huge eyes to peer down at him again. “My dragon here says that you have the makings of a dragon man. Now, we’ve been searching this Gather for the better part of two hours and you’re the first person Wy’Rhaun has even remotely nodded to. I can’t force you to believe me, but I want you to take one good look at my dragon and tell me you wouldn’t even CONSIDER the idea?”

Neil swallowed hard again as he met the dragon’s huge whirling eyes, mesmerized by the multifaceted blues and greens. But… but… How could this dragon say he had the makings of a dragon man? Weren’t dragon men noble and good? Didn’t they sacrifice everything to their dragons- for the good of Pern? Didn’t they raise themselves up into the skies and challenge the very sky ITSELF? How could Neil do that? How could… Neil… as he was now do that? Even if he could consider the idea, it wouldn’t be a possibility for him. 

He’d spent the last eight years on the run, spinning lie after lie to leave a twisted trail behind him. He’d been more than twenty different people since he started, and he knew that the minute he bonded with a telepathic dragon, his secret would no longer be his own- and he wouldn’t be able to run away fast enough if he had something so precious to protect until it was full grown like that! Even if his father had been exiled to an island off the southern continent, it wouldn’t stop his friends and cronies from finding out. Especially if he became a dragon rider and Thread really DID fall! Dragonriders were like real live heroes- there wouldn’t be anyone alive on all of Pern who wouldn’t be able to stop talking about them! Good or bad! And if his father knew he was one…

The math was simple- too simple- and Neil knew what he had to do. No matter what he wanted. No matter what it would cost the unborn dragon… and still, that didn’t make this any easier. Agreeing to go with this dragon was a one-way ticket to a future he hadn’t even allowed himself to even remotely consider wince childhood, something Neil could never have, and he wanted it so badly he ached right down to his bones. For a moment, the rage that bubbled up from within him for allowing himself to even enter the Gather grounds was so white hot he feared he would bore a hole into the dragon’s beautiful eyes! He’s known better than to step foot in such a place- to allow himself to be so near dragons! He knew he shouldn’t have attended the damn play- twice, too?! 

He knew in his heart of hearts he shouldn't have even considered it, and he knew even deeper than that that she would be so disappointed in him if she were still alive. His mother told him he'd never ride another dragon again. She'd warned him over and over to obsess from a distance, and he'd disobeyed her. But what else was he supposed to do? He'd run aground in the Ruatha mountains after her death because he didn't know how to go on without her. This was the only thing he had left that was real. Now that he had the chance to taste that flight again- not just through having a dragnet but a full grown dragon of his own- he didn't know how to walk away from it. 

"Please go away," he said, eyes still locked with the huge dragon's.

"Listen, I know it's a bit sudden, but I really do need an answer today- actually tonight. Lynth's been hounding everyone of the riders to Search since she laid her clutch. If we don't, the eggs could hatch next week for all we know and if no one is there on the hatching grounds that hatchling could go between without ever having a chance." The man tried one last time.

Neil's stomach hit his shoes at that name. He snapped his gaze from the dragon to the rider's face. "Fox Weyr," he said. "Palmetto Reaches."

The man—who Neil now knew had to be Bronze Rider David Wymack—looked surprised at how quickly he put it together. "I guess you heard about us, then." 

A small but proven Weyr, on a small but proving Hold, was what everyone said. Really, it was a nice way of saying that Palmetto Reaches was created the exact same way Fire Mine was founded all those Intervals ago, by a misfit band of displaced criminals desperate to find a home and turn over a new leaf before Thread started to fall and mercilessly devoured them from the inside out. And the Weyr was hardly any better, the majority of them just being the youngest of the lot brought haphazardly to the first hatching of a young queen dragon who hoped to make a name for herself when the senior queen of her own Weyr had refused to step down and open flights to allow 'her' browns or bronzes fly any other queen. 

Typical of a Fox, the half drunk trader who had told Neil in crass aside, and he wasn't exaggerating. The Palmetto Reaches Foxes - a name taken up by the dragons because of the small den of foxes that had been found on the east side of their Weyr when they first settled there. The dragons had reportedly found the foxes entertaining and refused to eat them or even hunt too close to their lands for dear of scaring them off. Just as strange as their dragons affections for the strange feline like canine creatures, The Foxes were a team of talented rejects and criminals because Wymack only recruited riders from shunned or exiled youths who had nothing but broken homes to show for their Hold or Hall. His decision to turn the Foxhole Weyr into a halfway house of sorts was nice in theory, but it meant his riders were fractured isolationists who couldn't get along long enough to get through a proper dragon game much less an actual Threadfall.

They were notorious all over Pern both for their tiny size and for getting ranked dead-last three years running in each and every Threadfall Exercise Competition, the yearly tournament style gathering of all Weyrs to show off just how quickly and precisely they could work together to sear fake thread (much like the silver ribbons from the performance) from the sky. Shortened to Exy, the yearly tournaments had become something like the planet wide past time and people would spend more than a whole month's wages just to attend. Now that Thread was about to fall, Neil didn't know if they would stop those Exy games or if people would make amphitheaters like this with stone shields to hide them from thread as they watched the dragons perform. 

The Foxes had done significantly better this past year thanks to the perseverance of their Queen and the strength of their new blue and brown riders, but they were still considered a joke by critics. Even the Harpers, who served as the judge and jury on Pern as well as teachers, scholars, and musicians, were losing patience with their poor results. Each and every year they had to complete additional training and drills judy to meet standard so that other Weyrs wouldmt have to come and save their asses come Threadfall. 

Then, former Telgar Weyr bronze rider Kevin Day decided to transfer Weyrs. It was the greatest thing that could happen to the Foxes and it meant Neil could never accept Wymack's offer. Neil hadn't seen Kevin in almost eight years, and he'd never be ready to see him again. Some doors had to stay closed; Neil's life depended on it. "You can't be here," Neil said. 

"Yet here I stand," Wymack said. "The skies are free and my dragon says we need you."

"No," Neil said. "No. I'm not riding for you."

"I'm sure I misheard you." The authoritative bronze rider was clearly not going to let this go so easily. He likely wasn't even used to being told no! 

"You took in bronze rider Kevin Day-" Neil feebly tried to explain, daring to glance back up at the dragon, who still seemed to be staring down at him curiously. 

"And his dragon says you're good to be a decent rider, too, so-" Neil didn't stick around for the rest. 

He bolted up the stairs just beside him and dashed backstage where he knew such a huge dragon couldn't follow him without hurting people and the dragon rider would have to push through the now gathering throng of people like the celebrity he was. Neil could only hope he couldn't control a raving crowd like some Harpers could. The last thing he needed was for people to capture him on the whim of some crazy bronze rider! 

Metal and stone clanged beneath his threadbare shoes, not quite loud enough to drown out the tall man who had been the main actor from before as he let out a startled query. Neil didn't look back to see if they were following. All he knew, all that mattered, was getting as far away from here as possible. Forget the Gather. Forget "Neil Josten". He'd leave tonight and run until he forgot Wymack ever said those words to him. 

Neil wasn't fast enough. He was halfway through the underground sprawling amphitheatre rooms and to the other side, where he knew there would be stairs leading out and up to the far side of the Gather when he realized he wasn't alone. There was someone waiting for him in the lounge between him and the far door. Light glinted off a bright red Gather flag representing the the Farmer Crafthall as the stranger took a swing, and Neil was going too fast to stop. Metal slammed into his gut hard enough to crush his lungs into his spine. He didn't remember falling, but suddenly he was on his hands and knees, scrabbling ineffectually at the floor as he tried to breathe. He'd puke if he could only manage that first gasp, but his body refused to cooperate. The buzzing in his ears was Wymack's furious voice, but he sounded a thousand miles away. 

"God damn it, Andrew. This is why we can't have nice things." 

"Oh, Bronze," someone said over Neil's head. "If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?" 

"He's no use to us if you break him before the hatching." 

"You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new. His dragon won't care if he's got a few bruised organs anyways." The world crackled black, then came into too-sharp focus as air finally hit Neil's tortured lungs. Neil inhaled so sharply he choked, and every wracking cough threatened to shake him apart. He wrapped an arm around his middle to hold himself together and slanted a fierce look up at his assailant. Wymack already said the man's name, but Neil didn't need it. He'd heard too many Harper's weave tales about the Foxes and each eccentric character and their dragon to not know him on sight. Andrew Minyard didn't look like much in person, blonde and five feet even, but Neil knew better. 

Andrew was the Foxes' fosterling turned blue rider and their deadliest investment. Most of the Foxes were self-destructive, whereas Andrew seemed keen on collateral damage. He'd spent three years at a mining crafthold in hopes of teaching him that hard work could beat the rebellion out of a wild young man and barely avoided a second term. Andrew was also the only person to ever turn down the chance to a hatching at Telgar Weyr. 

Kevin and Riko themselves set up a meet-and-greet to welcome him to the Weyr, but Andrew refused and accepted a Search from the dead beat no good Foxes instead. He never explained that choice, but everyone assumed it was because Wymack was willing to give his family a chance at impression as well—Andrew's twin Aaron and their cousin Nicholas Hemmick joined the Weyr the same year. Whatever the reason, Andrew was blamed for Kevin's recent transfer. Kevin had flown for Telgar's Raven Weyr until he broke his leg bad in a training accident this past December. An injury like that cost him his spot in the Exy games, but he should have recuperated where he'd have his former Weyr's support. Instead he moved to Palmetto to be Wymack's informal wing second. Three weeks ago he had officially announced his transfer to Palmetto Reaches and the records had been changed to reflect it. 

The only thing a ragtag band of misfit dragonriders like the Foxes could offer Kevin was the Blue defensive rider who'd once spurned him. Neil spent this spring with an upturned ear to every Harper with a tale to sing about the Foxes and Andrew, wanting to understand the man who'd caught Kevin's eye. Meeting Andrew face to face was as disorienting as it was painful. Andrew smiled down at Neil and tapped two fingers to his temple in salute. "Better luck next time." 

"Fuck you," Neil said. "Whose flag did you steal?" 

"Borrow." Andrew tossed it at Neil. "Here you go." 

"Andrew's a bit raw on manners," Wymack said, coming around to stand between Neil and Andrew. Andrew had no problems reading that silent warning. He threw his hands up in an exaggerated shrug and retreated to give Neil more room. Wymack watched him go before looking Neil over, his brown eyes somehow reminding Neil too much of his dragons searching, reading gaze. "He break anything?" 

Neil pressed careful hands to his ribs and breathed, feeling the way his muscles screamed in protest. He'd fractured bones enough in the past to know he'd gotten lucky this time. "I'm fine. Bronze, I'm leaving. Let me go." 

"We're not done," Wymack said. 

"I already gave you my answer. I won't sign with you." 

"You didn't listen to my whole offer," Wymack said. "If I paid to fly three people out here to see you the least you could do is give me five minutes, don't you think?" The blood left Neil's face so fast the world tilted. He took a stumbling step back from Wymack, feeling like he really should have gotten used to this by now, and made a desperate search for both balance and room to breathe. His traveling satchel banged into his hip and he knotted a hand around its too worn strap, needing something to hold onto. 

"You didn't bring him here." Wymack stared hard at him. 

"Is that a problem? We're on Search. The more dragon riders we have the easier it is." 

Neil couldn't tell him the truth, so he said, "I'm not good enough to fly Thread in the same skies as your Bronze." 

"True, but irrelevant," a new voice said, and Neil stopped breathing. He knew better than to turn around, but he was already moving. He should have guessed when he saw Andrew here, but he hadn't wanted to think it. There was no reason, he was sure, for a blue dragonrider to meet a mere potential dragon rider. Andrew was only here because Kevin Day never went anywhere alone. Kevin was sitting on top of the a large wooden prop piece along the back wall and Neil spared a moment of appreciation to see that the amphitheater had enough sense to store their props under thick stone. 

He'd watched this entire spectacle and, judging by the cool look on his face, was unimpressed by Neil's reaction. It'd been years since Neil stood in the same room as Kevin, years since they'd watched Neil's father cut a screaming man into a hundred bloody pieces. Everything about him was different… and yet… Everything was the same, from his dark hair and green eyes to the black double freckles just under his left eye, resting right at the crest of his cheekbone. Neil saw that ridiculously distinct twin mark and wanted to retch. Kevin had been born with just one freckle, and lots of people had complimented him on how distinct and like his mother it made him look. But his adoptive twin brother had had a freckle on his cheek as well. 

Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day didn't look alike by any means at all, but they were together all the time, inseparable and the best of friends, so people often teased them about being twins and asked Joe they could tell each other apart. In retaliation, Riko had taken to inking a second freckle onto his brother's face, and always told people he was the first born, and the heir to Telgar. As soon as he was able, it was said Kevin found the best artist in the artisan crafthall and had them make him an ink that would permanently stain the skin with application by needle and made it permanent. Instead of wearing his ink like the shunned wore their bright blue S on their forehead in shame, Kevin wore his own mark as a sign of pride. 

He was going to be wing second to the best Bronze dragon rider in all of Pern after all. They were going to be famous, they promised him. They were right. As soon as they were old enough, they stood on the hatching grounds and Impressed two of the largest Bronze dragons ever hatched in all of the history of Pern. Last year they were inducted into the best wing formation on the planet, simply named Court. It was a collection of the best of the best dragons and their riders, and when they flew Thread at the games, it was truly like an art form. It was said that when Threadfall really did come, the Court would be the ones sent to mert out first, and would be sent on special missions to not only rescue and protect, but also to enforce the laws of Pern on a worldwide scale. 

They were champions- the heroes of Pern, and Neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends. Neil knew Kevin couldn't recognize him. It'd been too long; they'd both grown up a world apart. Neil had further disguised his looks with dark hair dye and by rubbing a local root into the skin just around his eyes. It contained a chemical the locals used to help dim the brilliant sun and allow them to see much farther and clearer than they otherwise could have, but it also had the added effect of making his usually brilliant blue eyes look like a dull muddy brown. If he didn't reapply it, they would slowly fade back within a day, but for now, he was safe... 

But then… why else would Kevin Day be here looking at him like that? Having his magnificent bronze dragon K'holinth saying Neil was meant to be a dragon rider, too? No Telgar bronze would stoop so low, not even one who had joined the Foxes. Neil's had made sure that his traces said he had only been here in this region for close to a year. He'd been very careful this to act like a know-nothing, even loading up on and lugging around heavy packages to act like a drudge- the loveliest of servants in any Hold- last fall. It was easy to pretend at first, since he hadn't been in contact with any Hold or main family for over eight years, constantly traveling on his own or living in the forests or along the beaches or even traveling with Traders who didn't care who you were as long as you weren't Shunned and could do a good day's work. 

The fact he was in a completely different part of the continent now than he'd been raised in helped, since he had to relearn the culture and lay of the land from a new perspective, not as the son of a Master. He'd had an enviable and unavoidable learning curve, but he'd still fought hard to not shine. Had he slipped? Had it been too obvious that he had past experience he wasn't talking about? How had he caught Kevin's eye- K'holinth's eye- despite his best attempts to stay hidden? If it was that easy for Kevin, what sort of beacon was he sending to his father's people? 

"What are you doing here?" he asked through numb lips. 

"Why were you leaving?" Kevin asked, his bright green eyes locked on Neil. 

"I asked you first." 

"Bronze Wymack already answered that question," Kevin said, a tad impatiently. "We are waiting for you to Impress. Stop wasting our time." 

"No," Neil said. "There are a thousand potential riders who'd jump at the chance to fly with you. Why don't you bother them?" 

"We have been searching for the best- only our dragons know who that can be, and they say it's you, Neil," Wymack said. "We chose you." 

"I won't fly with Kevin." Neil trembled out, shaking his head.

"You will," Kevin said. Wymack shrugged at Neil. 

"Maybe you haven't noticed, but we're not leaving here until you say yes. Kevin says we have to have you, and he's right. It's too close to time and if the eggs hatch and you're not there, we'll lose that dragon." The rider said, crossing his arms.

"We should have kept flying when the dragons said there was a potential rider here who would have a difficult time flying," Kevin said. "You have no Hold or Craft and clearly your formal training is deplorable and I don't want someone with your inexperience in our wing. It goes against everything we're trying to do with the Foxes this year with Thread falling. We have people to protect, and it's no longer going to be just a game. Fortunately for you, our dragons new better than to tell us your history. Things like that are inconsequential to them anyway. They let us fly above, and let us trail you this week so we could see you in action instead. You run like you have everything to lose." His dragon. If Kevin's dragon could see his history, then he could make Kevin remember him… he's know Neil's formal training was impeccable. He'd know about Neil's childhood- about his dragonet. He'd remember the Gather interrupted by that man's murder. 

"That's why," Neil said quietly. 

"That's the only kind of rider worth flying with." Fear made Neil sick to his stomach. Kevin could recognize him and this was all just the start of a horrible, terrible path that would lead straight to his father. Maybe it was the world's way of showing him what could happen if he stayed in the same place for too long. 

"It actually works in our favor that you're all alone," Wymack said. "No one outside of our wing and Weyr even knows who you are or where you're from. We don't want your description in the mouth of every Harper this summer. We've got too much to deal with right now and we don't want to drag you into the mess until you're safe and settled with your dragon. There's a confidentiality clause in your contract, says you can't tell anyone you're ours until the Thread starts in August. Usually, that's to protect families from having to later explaining how their beloved child forgot to feed their dragon or got too cocky and let them try flying too soon only to fall to their deaths or getting lost Between, but for you, it'll be good to establish your bond and get you really settled in the Weyr before you fly Thread the first time so that if your father ever finds you, you'll have some protection behind you."

Your dragon would never let your father catch you, Neil,- came that same voice, deep inside his mind, vibrating the corners of his subconsciousness. If they knew, what was the act for at first?!

"What…? You… you know my father…?" Neil croaked out, this time tilting forward. Wymack grabbed him and kept him standing, beeping a firm grip on him until he got his footing again.

"K'holinth told me as soon as he felt you, and Wy'Rhaun confirmed that you would be a rider, and that we can't leave without you." Kevin said almost too casually, somehow reminding Neil of Wymack right down to the curve of his lip. "They call you Neil."

"Dragons… dragons talk… about me…?" Neil knew from Harper songs that dragons didn't deign to talk about anyone but Riders or people very important to them. Even some Lords and Ladies didn't get that honor! And dragons for sure didn't NAME people! Usually they just indicated people who weren't riders as 'them' and 'they' or 'him' and 'her'. To have a dragon not only acknowledge your existence, but to make you, too?! And to make him Neil… Neil, and not his birth name?! He trembled to think what that meant. 

"Why else do you think you were at Telgar all those years ago? You were already Searched, Nathaniel. You're just lucky we've always had more than enough people willing to Impress at Telgar that we've never had a dragon go unpaired before." Kevin snapped impatiently. 

"If you know who I am, you know I can't go back there. I won't go back to Telgar." Neil tried to turn again, but Wymack had a grip on him that was far too strong. He couldn't escape. And now that he knew dragons knew who he was- had named him?! It was only a matter of time until his father found him-- if Kevin didn't just go Between on his dragon and go to tell him himself!

"I really hope your dragon is the one of the pair who carries the sense in your relationship. I'm not a dragon rider of Telgar's Ravens anymore, am I? I'm a Fox of Palmetto. That means I'm on Search for the Foxes." Kevin reiterated, acting irritated even if he had also said ‘we’ve always had’ and ‘we’ve never had’, indicating that he still thought of himself as part of Telgar at least sometimes. Wymack gave Neil a firm pat on the back, though he could never know how much more that riled Neil up.

"You're to be a Palmetto dragon rider, and your father is exiled on an island off the coast of Southern. On Pern, we each make our own path. Whatever you can hold, you can keep. Your father has nothing to do with the fact that you're a dragon rider, Nathaniel. He's not a dragon rider. He never will be. And once you have your dragon and prove that you can hold them, they're yours. No one and nothing can separate a dragon from their rider save death. And even then, we would all prefer to meet that end together as well." The man said, giving Neil another firm pat on the back. 

"Run if you're scared. But ride if you want to meet your dragon. We're leaving at sunset." Kevin said by way of farewell, hopping down from his perch and striding out to the stairs. Neil could only stare in dumb silence. He had finally been found. He had finally been discovered. And by dragons, on top of everything! 

“It’s not a good idea…” Neil tried to protest again. It was TOO GOOD an idea to even consider!

“Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed,” Wymack said. “Anything else, or are you going to come with us now? We CAN wait until Gather is over, but we have to leave after that.”

The smart thing to do was bail. Even if Kevin knew and seemed not to care who his father was, this was a terrible idea. His father would find out- and no matter if they were dragons or not, if they dismounted and went too far from their mounts, his father and his men would find them as nothing more than men. He would find Neil! Nathaniel. The Foxes spent too much time in the tales of Harpers and it would only get worse with Kevin in the wing- with Thread coming. Neil shouldn’t submit himself to that sort of scrutiny. He could just turn and run and mingle with the crowd until he could disappear and get as far away as he could until the dragons hopefully let him melt from their minds as insignificant.

Leaving meant living, but… Neil’s way of living was survival, nothing more. It was new names and new places and never looking back. It was packing up and going as soon as he started to feel settled. This past year, without his mother at his side, it meant being completely alone and adrift… and when Thread started to fall… He didn’t know if he was ready for that. Not without Hold or Craft. 

But… He didn’t know if he was ready to be near dragons again, either. It was the only thing that had ever made him feel real, though. Even when he was a child, nothing more than the son of the Master Butcher. Whenever the dragons came to visit, his heart would race and his soul would soar just to see them! Wymack’s hatching was permission to keep playing and a chance to be… to pretend to be normal for a little while longer. Wymack had said that once his dragon was bonded, no one could take him away from Neil. And dragons could fly- and go Between. If he had a dragon… if he survived long enough to help it grow up big and strong- capable, like beautiful Wy’Rhaun or regal K’holinth- then Neil could ride away and never look back. He would be safe. He could duck and run whenever he pleased, couldn’t he?

“Well?” Wymack asked.

Survival instincts warred with need and twisted into an almost debilitating panic. “I have to talk with my mother…” Neil whispered, because he didn’t know what else to say.

“What for?” Wymack asked, and something outside rumbled, like a thundercloud. Neil remembered the clear blue skies, and knew it could only be a dragon. Somehow, he knew it had to be Wy’Rhaun. “You’re no longer a fosterling, no matter who your father was, and you should be old enough to make your own decisions- Kevin says you’re eighteen. More than old enough to stand on a hatching ground. We start out at twelve, after all.” 

“I still need to ask.” Neil forced his lips to move. He had to say SOMETHING. They at least didn’t know he didn’t have a mother anymore.

“If youre going to keep insisting on that..." he looked frustrated and for a moment Neil was scared the dragon would tell his lie. Then, "She’ll be happy for you.” Wymack said after another low rumble from far above.

“Maybe,” Neil agreed quietly, knowing it was a lie. If his mother knew he was even considering this, even if Kevin knew and Wymack promised his safety, she’s be furious. It was probably a good thing she’s never know, but Neil didn’t think ‘good’ was supposed to feel like a knife in his chest. “I’ll talk to her…”

“We can give you a lift home.” the bronze rider urged. Neil took a step back.

“I’m fine,” was the only lie Neil could manage. It was all he had left.

Wymack looked back at the remaining Foxes- Neil only just realized that three had gathered at the door. Andrew, again. A tall dark haired boy, and another small blond with his back to the door. “Go wait with the dragons.”

Andrew waited for the others to start walking before he also turned to follow them, and Wymack waited until they were gone before he turned a serious look on Neil. “You need one of us to talk to your mother's people? Kevin says your father was Master Butcher Nathan, head of the Chef Crafthall, the same who got arrested for evading Tithes and coercion- of abusing his rank to garner favors from dragons by refusing to give them good meat for their dragons through winter… but your mother was harder to pin down. If you need one of us to talk to her people and explain…?”

“I’m fine,” Neil said again.

Wymack didn’t even try for subtlety with his next question. “Is she- is her family the one who hurt you?”

Neil stared at him at a complete loss. It was blunt enough to be rude on so many levels that there wasn’t a good place to start answering it. Wymack seemed to realize that, because he pushed on before Neil could respond. 

“Let’s try that again. The reason I’m asking is because Wy’Rhaun and K’holinth had taken to following you without us riding- trailing you, and any time you ever stopped to bathe they noticed you would always wash fully clothed instead of stripping and washing your clothes separately. It’s been warm, but even in summer, it’s not reasonable. It takes too long to dry on your body and it’s got to be too cold. And even when you pass by good, stable holds or even farm houses far out, you don’t stop. You don’t ask for lodging. You’d rather sleep in the wild and forage and hunt for your own food- until there’s no way you can catch anything on your own and you’ve run out of food. They think it’s strange since you hardly talk to anyone- and they’ve only seen you struggle through the wilderness. That’s why they suggested you should come with us to Palmetto- Holdless and with no Crafthall, even if you don’t decide to be a dragon rider, you can’t keep living like this through Threadfall. They know you’re a hard worker and they can feel you’re a good man. That’s why they want you to come, in the first place. You know what that means, right? You know the people I’m looking for?” Wymack said, his voice low and comforting- confiding.

“I don’t know if they’re right but I’m not in the habit of doubting my dragon. Something tells me they’re not far off on their assumptions, though. Even if you’re just a wanderer, this Gather’s going to pack up and the Traders are going to start their long journey back to their own lands to start making their own Holds to prepare for Threadfall. You’re not going to be able to mix and mingle as one of them for much longer. If your mother’s a problem for you, we can move you out to Palmetto tonight and put you up in the Weyr until hatching regardless if you stand on the hatching grounds or not.”

“You’ll do what?” Neil asked, surprised.

“Andrew and his wing are no longer Weyrlings, but they do stay in the spare apartments on the Abby’s level of the Weyr- she’s the Weyr’s Master Healer. Her extra apartments are full, but you could stay with me until the eggs hatch. If you decide not to stand, we can find you a job around the Weyr and you can earn your keep from there and move into your own apartment. My place isn’t made for two people, but I’ve got a couch that’s a little softer than a rock. Even Weyr leaders of small holds like the Fox Weyr are permitted such simple luxuries." He chuckled lightly.

"We'll tell everyone you're there for the hatching and your fosters had too many more to accompany you as well. It's believable, given Thread is coming. Chances are half of them will believe it. You won't be able to fool the rest, but that doesn't matter. Foxes are Foxes for a reason and they know we wouldn't bring you if you didn't qualify. That doesn't mean they know specifics. It's not my place to ask for specifics more than what it is my dragon deigns to tell me, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell them." 

It took two tries to get the word out. "Why?" 

Bronze rider Wymack was quiet for a minute. "Did you think I made the this Weyr the way it is because I thought it would be a good recruiting stunt for holders? Farmhands and cooks and drudges? It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."

Neil had head more than one Harper refer to Wymack as an idealistic idiot, but it was hard to listen to him and not believe that he was sincere. Neil was torn between incredulity and disdain. Why Wymack set himself up for disappointment time and time again, Neil didn’t know. Neil would have given up on the Foxes turns ago.

Wymack gave him a second to think before asking again, “Is your mother's family going to be a problem?”

It was too much to take a chance on, but too much to walk away from, too. It hurt to nod, but it hurt even more to see the tired look that settled in behind Wymack’s eyes. It wasn’t the pity he thought he could see in the eyes of the Holders when he finally broke down and came begging, but something familiar that said Wymack understood what it cost to be Neil. He knew what it was like to have to fight to wake up and keep moving every day. Neil doubted the man could ever really understand, but even that tiny bit was more than he’d ever gotten in his life. Neil had to look away.

“This Gather will start to break down just before sunset, and by the time the Glows are well lit, they’ll have erected the dance floor and the Harpers will start to beacon people to dance and sing. We’ll have someone pick you up on the hill behind the Hold after the music starts.” Wymack said, voice too gentle and understanding. When he next patted Neil’s back it was much less aggressive than the first few times- almost fatherly. “Welcome to Fox Weyr.”

Neil almost pointed out that he hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but the words died in his throat as he realized he really was going. He swallowed hard- or tried to- and found his cheeks suddenly hot with the effort to keep back frustrated tears. ‘Thank you’ seemed like something he should say, but Neil couldn’t manage it. He kept his stare to the floor instead, studying the stone. Wymack didn’t wait long for a response before going for the door. Neil heard the thunderous rumble of a dragon greeting his rider, the heavy winds that accompanied the beating of massive wings, and the sudden absence of sound that heralded the flash of a dragon going Between. He ran for the stairs and made it to the grass just in time to dry heave into a corner of the amphitheater’s exterior.

He could imagine his mother’s rage if she knew what he was doing. He remembered too well the savage yank of her hands in his hair. All these years spent trying to keep moving and hidden, and now he was going to destroy their hard work. She would never forgive him for this and he knew it, and that did nothing at all to help the clenching feeling in his gut. “I’m sorry,” he gasped out in between wet coughs, knowing that no one heard him- no one was around anymore. He was all alone- again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He stumbled over to a nearby stream to rinse his mouth out and stared himself down in a small patch of calm, glassy water protected by a half circle ring of small stones. With black hair and muddy brown eyes, he looked plan and average: no one to notice in a drowd, no one to stick in one’s memory. That was what he wanted, but he wondered if it could hold up against the tales of Harpers. He grimaced a little at his reflection and leaned closer, tugging hard at chunks of hair to check his roots. They were dark enough that he relaxed and leaned back a bit. “Weyr…” he said quietly. It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation. 

When he finally returned to the front of the amphitheater, there were still four dragons left, enjoying the admiration from the crowd, though everyone kept a steady distance from them. Andrew leaned over the back of his saddle- his brilliant blue dragon twisting his long neck around to hover his head just above the blond head and mirror his almost mocking expression as they watched Neil pass. Neil never knew dragons could be so expressive, but it sure looked like that one was giving him a knowing, taunting smile. “Too good to ride with us?”

Neil flicked them both a cool look and sped up to a jog. By the time he reached the small dirt road that would lead back over the hill and into the open field where the Gather was being held he was running. He didn’t care if people saw him and wondered what he was doing. He left the amphitheatre and the Foxes and their too-good promises behind him, but the unstated promise to return sat heavy on his tongue and felt like an anchor around his neck.


	2. The Weyr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil takes his first flight dragonback in years, and gets to meet the small group of recent Weyrlings as they wait for the eggs to hatch. But tensions rise as Neil realized the group knows about his past and won't do more than hint at it and tease him for his jumpiness. Will Neil really be able to survive until he meets his dragon- IF he meets his dragon?
> 
> Is he ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys. Here is some more world building. Im still taking heavily from the foxhole series and I will not claim credit for the majority of these words but I promise, things are about to speed up after this. Until then, enjoy these little dragon boys and anticipate more.

The weight of intense eyes boring into him was what made Neil turn his head, bringing his gaze almost immediately to the owner. It was one of the twins- Andrew had a doppelganger, Harpers had told him. Judging by the calm, almost bored look on the face of this Minyard, Neil was going to bet on it being Aaron. Their riding gear was the same, and they had their hair cut to the same length, but considering the fact that Andrew’s greeting had been a flagpole to the gut and he was almost manic in his general interactions, he was sure it was a safer assumption than not. Aaron Minyard was often sung as “the normal one” of the two, though that was usually followed by at least a couple of verses debating if two who were in fact twins could be so different after all.

Neil took a deep breath, fingered his travel satchel, and made his way over the hill by the light of the glows. The glass covered lanterns that held bioluminescent moss and fungi hung at twenty foot intervals along the path and Neil had no trouble making his way in the early night, especially with the light of Pern’s two moons still so bright. Just because the path was well lit, that didn’t mean Neal was any more comfortable as he neared the rider and the huge blue dragon behind him. Since it was so large, Neil still couldn’t quite make out every detail of the dragon like he had during the day, but he could FEEL it. The familiar weight of the stare made him shiver, and a responding roll of thunder told him that his palpable fear was humoring the large beast.

As Neil neared the dragon rider, he remembered now that he had at least a good five inches on either twin, who both barely crested five feet. The all black leather Aaron wore did to make him seem any taller, either, and Neil briefly wondered how he could stand to wear it in the heat of the fifth month, even if it was just the start of the warmer months. The day had been hot, and it was just now cool enough to dawn a light robe. Neil felt hot just looking at him!

“Neil,” the voice snapped him back to reality and seemed to be all he was going to get in lieu of a hello. Blue eyes the same color as his dragon searched out behind Neil, then flickered down to his measly satchel.

“Just this,” Neil admitted, knowing the question before it was even spoken. It was a small bag, but still large enough to carry everything he owned. Aaron got a far-off expression for a moment, and Neil wondered if he had somehow offended the smaller man before his blue eyes blinked at the same time as the huge multifaceted orbs above them and Aaron started around to the side of his dragon. “Strap your bag on so it won’t fly open.” he said, already hooking one foot into a riding strap, a curious clicking sound letting Neil know that there must be some sort of gismo that locked his boots in place. 

Neil obediently put his satchel against the other large packages on the dragon’s back and used some loose straps to tie it closed, tugging a couple of times to make sure it was secure before he reached up to grab a ridge on the side of the saddle and hooked his foot in, mirroring the way Aaron had done. The blue rider glanced over at his foot, noted how threadbare his boots were, then grunted and hoisted himself up the rest of the way. Once settled, he reached down and grabbed Neil’s forearm, yanking him up roughly in front of him to fit snug in a groove of his own, though this one was made by securing a thick folded blanket against the front of the saddle and a neck ridge. It was… uncomfortable… but as Neil felt the warmth of the blue dragon beneath him, he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding.

Aaron reached around him to grab straps from under his thighs and looped them around, securing them in a complicated loop that Neil had no hope of remembering but was not at all objecting to. After seeing the acrobatics of the Blues from the play earlier that day, there was no way Neil wanted to risk falling off. Once Neil was secure, Aaron reached behind them and pulled another folded blanket between them- though Neil noted that this one was just about perfect to fit the curve of the back of a full grown man- it would be the perfect barrier between any rider and a passenger in front. Seeing as how lots of dragons carried passengers to and from places when they were having an Interval, it made sense.

Carefully, Neil reached forward and ran his fingers over the ridge in front of him. The hide that covered it was soft and warm, but he could tell there was hone underneath- it was not too far from brushing against the knuckle of a finger, actually. Neil has seen plenty of dragons when he was younger- the Master Butcher provided for all of the Northern Continent after all- and he had had occasion to ride a few but this… To mount a dragon and to KNOW that he was going to be riding on his way to a new home- a possible future? He was so absorbed in the awe of it that he almost jumped at the way Aaron reached around him and shoved his hand off of the ridge to replace it with his own. When Neil glanced back curiously, the ghost of a smile tugged at one corner of Aaron’s mouth, but it was a decidedly unfriendly expression.

It almost stole the exhilaration of the first flight from Neil’s lungs then, as the massive dragon coiled, then pumped his back legs at the same time as he beat his heavy wings, lifting them up in the air. Almost. “Neil,” Aaron said again, as if testing the way it sounded. “Here early- sent ahead of family, hm?”

“Yes.” was all the breathless reply Neil could give as he felt more than saw the ground fall away beneath them. The music slowly left with it, more reluctant than gravity but having its own limits as well.

Aaron’s fingers drummed on the ridge and the dragon beat his heavy wings again, causing wind to roar in Neal’s ears as they rose even higher, then started to tip up towards the night sky. “That makes five of us, but the Weyr harper says that you’re going to stay with Weyr Leader Wymack.” 

Bronze Wymack had warned Neil the cousins Andrew, Aaron, and Nicholas would be staying on the Healer’s level, but it still didn’t add up. Neil knew who the fifth person had to be, but he didn’t even want to think about it and chance losing the exhilaration of knowing that the dragon beneath them was taking them straight up now, standing on his tail in midair as the climbed. He didn’t want to believe it even as he knew he should have expected it. Kevin had been glued to Ander’s side since his transfer. Still, Neil had to be sure. 

“Kevin stays in the Weyr?” he asked.

“Where the training ground is, Kevin is. It doesn’t matter if there’s a Hatching or not. And anyway, all the dragons live in the Weyr. No one can live without their dragons. You’ll learn that soon enough.” Aaron said derisively.

“I didn’t think it was his dragon Kevin was staying for.” Neil said, fighting not to raise his voice too much, even if wind would push it away.

Aaron didn’t answer. It was a short ride up to the clouds that had crept in through the day and Aaron had reached around with his other hand to grip the crest in front of them at the peak. As soon as the dip started, he leaned forward, pressing against Neal’s back and forcing him forward a few inches. At first Neil didn’t understand, but then the blue dragon tucked his wings and started to twist his body for the freefall and Neil felt his thighs tightened instinctively as he gripped the harness that kept him in place with white knuckles, hardly wanting Aaron to smack his fingers off of the ridge again if he tried to grab hold. Aaron either didn’t notice or didn’t care. When they had finally cleared the low wall that signified the eastern edge of that Hold’s land, he relaxed the grip of his second hand and his dragon evened out from his constant flipping and aerial stunts and Aaron flicked Neil a sideways look. Neil hoped that it wasn’t to see just how hard he was breathing as he panted heavily and struggled not to gulp convulsively.

“I hear you didn’t hit it off too well with Kevin this morning.” he said, and Neil realized that they must have hit an air pocket, because the dragon didn’t flap his wings, and Neil could hear him perfectly fine. Briefly, he wondered when they would go Between and utilize the dragon’s unique ability to teleport from one place to the other.

“No one warned me he was going to be there.” Neil answered, watching the scenery rush by as he caught his breath and tried not to smile. No matter how excited he was to ride a dragon, he knew his life was in more danger now than it had been in months. “Maybe you’ll forgive me for not reacting well.”

“Maybe I won’t. I don’t believe in forgiveness, and it wasn’t me you offended. That’s the second time a recruit told him to fuck off. If anything had even a minute chance to dent that arrogance of his, his pride would have been shredded by now. Instead, he’s losing faith in the intelligence of those Searched.”

“I’m sure Andrew had his reasons for telling Kevin to fuck off, the same as me.” Neil grumbled, remembering how the harpers had said that Andrew Minyard was the one and only youth who had been Searched and refused to fly for Telgar. All he remembered about that place was a man being butchered like nothing more than a lowly herd beast right in front of them, and then his mother grabbing him as soon as she could and running for their lives.

“You said you weren’t worthy of being Searched, but here you are anyway. You think a week- three at most- of contemplation is going to make that much a difference?” Aaron wondered, and Neil felt him lean back.

“No,” Neil murmured, and shook his head. “It was just too hard to say no.”

“Bronze Wymack always knows what to say, hm? It makes it harder on the rest of us, though. Not even Redstone Hold should have taken a chance on you.” Aaron prodded, and Neil could feel him turning in his saddle to look back at the stone wall that marked the edge of that land.

“Redstone Hold didn’t take a chance on me. I just happened to be traveling through and they just happened to be having a Gather. It was a matter of being in the right place at the right time, I guess.” Neil disagreed.

“Do you believe in fate?” Neil could hear the faint scorn in the other man’s voice and frowned. Aaron had turned back around, and Neil briefly wondered how he could feel so comfortable to move around and twist about like that. Wasn’t he worried the dragon would start flipping around again?

“No. Do you?” he asked now, almost daring to twist around himself, but hardly having the courage. 

“Luck, then,” Aaron said, ignoring the return question.

“Only the bad sort.”

“We Foxes are flattered by your high opinion of us, of course.”

Suddenly, the dragon started to fold in his wings and they dropped, Neil realizing with a start that they had exited the air pocket. The dragon twisted his body again, and flipped to his side, turning just enough to reorient them before beating his wings hard again, a rumble coming from somewhere deep beneath Neil that sounded an awful lot like a chuckle. “Your dragon really likes to flip.” he said pointedly, trying to hide the fact that he was breathing hard again.

“Don’t be so afraid to die,” Aaron said as the dragon kept beating his wings, twisting to do a couple of loops around a low cloud. 

“We’re just supposed to be flying to the Weyr, not flying Thread.”

“Same difference,” Aaron said. “You’re joining a Weyr a year before Thread falls with Kevin on your wing. People are always willing to bleed for him- to take their dragons into battle for him. You’ve heard the Harpers, I assume.”

“I’ve heard them.” Neil agreed.

Aaron drummed his fingers as if that proved his point. Neil would be hard pressed to say he was wrong, so he just let it slide in favor of catching his breath again. Kevin Day and his adoptive brother Riko Moriyama were hailed as the sons of modern day Exy. Kevin’s mother Kayleigh Day (a Queen Rider) and Riko’s uncle Tetsuji Moriyama (a Bronze Rider) created a more complex and dynamic points based series of exercises to test the skills of dragon riders in preparation for Threadfall nearly thirty years ago while Kayleigh was a fosterling (a youngster sent to live with another family to spread culture and build bonds with other Holds and Weyrs until the age of maturity) in Fukui Hold on the Eastern continent. What started as an experiment spread through the Weyrs and quickly caught on Pern-wide until Kayleigh brought it home with her back to her own Weyr after being Searched and the Northern Continent picked it up soon after.

Kevin and Riko were raised on Exy. When Telgar's Edgar Allen Weyr had it's massive training ground (affectionately called Castle Evermore thanks to some ancient Terran reference to Pern’s similar avian predator to their ravens) at hardly even the sketch of a floorplan, Kevin and Riko had custom flying gear. They were too young to have dragons of their own, but that never stopped them from mounting alongside their parents just like Neil was now and flying the skies with them as they trained to fight their eternal menace. Kevin was still so young when Kayleigh was mistakenly invited to fly to a diplomatic meeting at a Weyr who had a Queen too close to mating, both golden queen dragons fought to the death, too high strung on hormones and instincts and Kayleigh herself succumbed to the mental shock of losing her soul mate. Within the week, she had passed away, just like the other queen rider, and Testuji took Kevin in. The Raven’s bronze Weyrleader had no time to raise children, though, and Riko and Kevin spent their formative years on the training grounds with the Ravens instead of in the Harper halls with the other children, learning the teaching balads that would teach them everything they needed for an education. Instead, they were considered the main wing’s unofficial mascots and when they weren’t being coached directly by the Weyrleader they were being taken up to the skies on the backs of dragons to be taught by the wing itself, and Harpers were brought on-site so that they wouldn’t have to leave the training grounds for something as menial as an education. 

Kevin and Riko grew up in the songs of Harpers, always together and always training to become the best dragonriders Pern had to offer. Until Kevin decided to sever his ties with the Ravens and instead transfer Weyrs to Palmetto Reaches, he and Riko were never seen in separate rooms. Their uncontroversial childhood lead many Harpers to gossip about how stable and well rounded they could be, but also fueled a rabid obsession with Weyr and Hold folk alike who deeped them the most amazing dynamic duo- the stars that Pern would look to to save them from Threadfall. When they were finally old enough to Impress and both left the hatching grounds with beautiful Bronze dragons, it only solidified that faith.

Last winter, Riko and Kevin both vanished from the training grounds and Harper gossip for weeks, and when the spring training sessions threatened to near, neither of them were seen in the skies on their now mature mounts, all of Pern seemed concerned. It wasn’t until months later, at the Turning of the new year, that Tstsuji addressed the topic to a concerned council of Queen dragons, their riders, and all of their mates. Kevin Day had broken both of his legs falling off of his dragon due to falthy flying straps and his dragon had broken a wing too badly to set without invasive surgery. According to Tetsuji, Kevin and Riko were too devastated to face either the Ravens or their upset fans at the next year’s Exy games just yet.

The next day, Bronze Wymack told the Master Harper that Kevin and K’holinth were recuperating on the Western Continent. Hearing Kevin might never fly again was bad; finding out that his K’holinth would never fly AND they would lose the dynamic pair he had made with Riko and HIS dragon when Threadfall was so near upon them was so much worse. If Kevin was going to be reduced to being nothing more than an honorary dragonrider, he should at least stay in his own Weyr. Everyone had assumed that they had gone West to soak in the medicinal waters that the Weyrs there seemed to cultivate, and a rumor spread that there was a special Master Healer who fix all but death, and were assured that they would return to the Ravens as soon as they were healed.

Except Kevin Day had formally requested a change of records at the Records Crafthall, changing the hold he was bound to to Palmetto, and his Weyr to Fox. Lots of people started to speculate that Bronze Wymack had somehow been corrupted by his rowdy shunned and criminal Holders and had somehow coerced Kevin and K’holinth into transferring, and many called for an impeachment. It just wasn’t RIGHT, and the fact that both Kevin’s K’holinth was a bronze but the queen rider Danny had a clear preference for ANOTHER bronze rider already in the Weyr only upset those outside the Weyr even more. If Kevin was going to change weyrs, he should at least be the Weyr leader! Preventing him from flying to catch the queen was apparently robbing Pern of the strongest of strongest hatchlings, and his K’holinth would clearly have superior seed. No one seemed to care what Kevin had to say about the matter- it was expected that he would take over. When he didn’t, Wymack was blamed even more and it seemed that every trader, holder, and craftsman looked to find a reason not to give the Weyr what it was due. It was only by decree from the Master Harper himself that they were forced to receive their proper tithes without bias. No one denied that it was the bare minimum, though, and Neil was not looking forward to getting in the middle of that mess.

As he thought about these things, he noticed that the air started to get more humid and he could taste the salt on the growing wing. Just when he could see the ocean on the horizon, though, Aaron leaned forward again and gripped the ridge. “Remember- Between only lasts for as long as it takes to cough three times.” was all the warning Neil got before he was suddenly plunged into darkness. At first, he thought that the dragon had dived down into the ocean and since it was night time, that was why it was so dark… but this dark was deeper than night time- darker than just the mere absence of light. This darkness was the absence of everything. Neil couldn’t even feel the blankets or the saddle or Aaron’s arms or even the Dragon beneath them anymore! He couldn’t feel the AIR! He couldn’t Breathe! Just when he was starting to panic, he felt a rush of wind on his face and blinked, shocked at the sudden reminder of blankets and saddle and short but chorded arms looped around him to clutch at the ridge of the blue dragon beneath him. Gasping, he let out the lungful of icy cold nothingness that had invaded his lungs and suddenly realized why Aaron had worn such thick clothes. 

It only took them another twenty minutes to land at the Weyr, and Neil was sure than half of that time was spent spiraling and looping around to allow Neil a night time tour of the small land they held. The Western Continent itself was quite large, and they had no neighbors to their land, but Palmetto Reaches was the hold that supplied the Weyr, not the Weyr itself. That was the central peak of the island, an ancient, long inactive volcano bowl that had been carved into to provide living spaces for the dragons and their riders. Neil had seen many Weyrs, but this one had a huge training ground right in the center. He craned his neck to try to see, but Aaron was already spiraling around to the side, where a loud and heavy waterfall had somehow carved itself out of the side of the volcano. In the valley below, Neil could see huge rocky hills, no doubt made centuries ago by the continuous activity of this now dead volcano, and noticed colorful mounds dotting them. Dragons- they were curled up around or next to each other, half dozing, half rumbling and gargling between themselves. Suddenly, Neil wanted to kick himself. Of COURSE dragons communicated with each other and were highly social! Their riders were! Why wouldn’t they be?! 

As Aaron continued to spiral and spin, though, he took them around a bend and past those hills, nearly giving Neil a heart attack when he had his dragon fly right at the side of the volcano. It wasn’t until they dipped down under a rocky overhang and dove INTO the side of the mountain to enter a huge and mostly empty cavern that he understood, though. This must be another place where the dragons could spend their night. There were already a few others, their huge bodies having no problem moving around in the expansive cave, even if two of them spread their wings out. Aaron made a loop around the cave, slowing his dragon’s descent until they landed just beside the other dragons and could dismount. 

Aaron was the first one off and he motioned to the back of the saddle as soon as he helped Neil unbuckle his own riding straps and get off. Aaron went to meet the three other Riders who were standing at the other edge of the cave on a rocky outcrop while Neil turned to retrieve his bag from the dragon’s back. His legs were still a bit shaky so Neil was relieved to have time to recover, pausing for a moment to savor the feel of the dragon’s warm skin under his fingers before he turned back. When he looked up, he was the center of attention. Even the blue dragon was staring down at him.

The twins were standing to either side of Kevin, both dressed in riding gear but easily distinguishable by the looks on their faces. Aaron looked bored now that he was done with his chore and Andrew was smiling a bit too wide. Neil knew from the Harpers that his cheer didn’t mean he was in a good mood- or even that he wouldn’t try and kill a man or six or seven in the blink of an eye.He’s been smiling when he tried to blow Neil’s guts out through the back of his chest with a flagpole as well.

Nicholas Hemmick was the only one who looked genuinely happy to see Neil, and he stepped up to the edge of the rocky outcropping at Neil’s approach. Neil was glad for the distraction, at least, since it kept him from looking at Kevin, and he readily accepted the hand Nicholas offered.

“Hey,” grinned the other man, using his grip on Neil’s hand to pull him up the couple of feet to the top of the stone. “Welcome to Palmetto. Flight go okay?”

“It was fine,” was all Neil could think to say.

“I’m Nicky.” Nicky gave Neil’s hand another hard squeeze before letting go. “Andrew and Aaron’s cousin, Green Dragonrider of Hemmi at your service!”

Neil looked from him to the twins and back again. Where the twins were light, Nicky was dark, with jet black hair, dark brown eyes, and skin two shades too dark to be tan. He also had the better part of a foot on them. “Fosterling?”

Nicky laughed. “Don’t look it, right? I just so happen to take after my mom. Dad was a proper Lord Holder’s nephew from Ruatha and she was one of seven pretty daughters of the Master Weaver. They mat on an inspection of the Weaver Crafthall.” He made a show of rolling his eyes, then jerked a thumb at the others. “You already met them, right? Aaron, Andrew, and Kevin? Weyrleader was supposed to be here to let you in but he had to head to the training grounds real quick. The Navy Crafthapp probably sent a Dragonet with a message for a dragon to help guide them into the cove. They were supposed to come earlier today but apparently the weather delayed them. In the meantime, you’re stuck with us, but we’ve got the keys. Where are your things?” 

“It’s just this,” Neil said, gripping the strap of his satchel.

Nicky arched an eyebrow at him and looked at the others. “His mom packed him light. I wish I could travel like that, but hell if I ain’t materialistic.”

“Materialistic is just a start,” Aaron said as Neil felt his blood run cold. Did EVERYONE know about his family?!

Nicky grinned and caught Neil’s shoulder, guiding him past the rest towards another cave corridor, much smaller than the entrance to this huge hollow and into the Weyr itself. “This is where Weyrleader lives,” he said unnecessarily. “He leads the whole Weyr, so he gets to live in a place like this while we poor Weyrlings have to live like cripples in the Healer’s den until our rooms are cleared and ready. Since this is still a new Weyr, they’re building rooms and clearing caves as we need them. Every new Weyrling usually stays with their foster or in the Weyrling apartments until their dragons are too big. Then they move out to their own apartments when they’re ready to fly. We, on the other hand, were deemed ‘too difficult’ to foster so we had apartments of our own. We COULD have stayed, but there’s no room for our dragons anymore- they’re too big. So until we get proper space, we can stay with the healer while our rooms get cleaned and prepared for the new Weyrlings. They’re going to have our apartments ready after the hatching, so hopefully move-in will all take place on one day.”

“You’ve got strange standards of ‘poor’ if you think that having a whole series of apartments built especially for you is difficult to bare.” Neil said, still trying to cope with the fact that everyone had just breezed past the idea that his father was the Butcher. Or did they not know…?

“Aaron’s mother bought it for us with her life’s wages in worker’s compensation,” Andrew explained but Neil wondered what that meant. He knew Andrew had been at the mine for three hears and that when he got out he had been fostered in Palmetto, where Aaron and Nicky stayed with him but dis something happen between him getting out of the mines and them coming to live in Palmetto? Being Searched? If any hard worker died on Pern, it was customary that many remaining children she got be fostered by the hold she was bound to and given her yearly wages to help provide for them, but to say it had bought them their place in the Weyr...? “It’s no surprise she had to die to be worth anything.”

“Easy,” Nicky said, but he was looking at Aaron when he said it.

“Easy, easy.” Andry lifted his hands in a careless shrug. “Why bother, though? It’s a cruel world, right, Neil? You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” Andrew said. And he definitely knew. He knew who Neil was- had heard Kevin call him Nathaniel!

“It’s not the world that’s cruel,” Neil finally forced his mouth to acknowledge. “It’s the people in it.”

“Oh, so true.” Andrew grinned, and Neil remembered a Harper happily singing the phrase in a story about the crazed Minyard twin.

They took a spiraling staircase up to what felt like the very top of the volcano in silence. Neil quietly counted the stairs so he wouldn’t have to think about Kevin walking behind him. Unease over being so high off the ground and yet still covered in rock was almost distraction enough. He supposed, though, that when Thread started to fall he was be happy with the thick layers of stone that would protect them. He preferred to say on lower levels so that he could make an easy escape if need be but he had to admit that the rocky surface of the volcano outside seemed varied enough that he was sure he would be able to scale it if he really had to. He made a mental note to find all of the air portals and windows when he had the chance. Because of the nature of the Red Star, all windows on Pern were always set at least two to three feet in, and always framed with ample stone to prevent any chance of Thread invading a home. That the Weyr was literally build into the rock of the volcano, Neil was curious to see if they just blasted out the entire side and built the rooms back up or if windows were more like smaller tunnels that just pointed straight out the side of the rock to allow airflow.

Weyrleader Wymack's apartment was the only one at the end of a short hall when they reached the last of about seven large landings on the staircase. Neil wondered if the first one had been the Healer's 'den' as Nicky had called it, and if the others housed the Weyrling apartments the others had called home while their dragons grew up. Briefly, he wondered if he could go back and meet their dragons now. He had heard so many things about dragons and had been AROUND dragons quite a bit but he understood them just about as much as he understood the stars in the sky. They were something intangible. Something he could never hold. Too large and brilliant for him to even dare looking at for too long. But… hadn't they spoken about him before? Called his name? He forced himself to break out of his dragon fantasies and focus on the task at hand. 

They gathered around the door so Nicky could dig the key out of his pocket. It took him two tries to remember which one he'd put it in and Neil buried himself instead with looking at the intricate details of his riding jacket. Neil knew that each Rider had their riding gear custom made and fit to match their riding straps and saddle, and it was said that some riders even tattoed their skin to match as well. Each one of them sported seams threaded with the same colors or paters of their beholden lands, and whatever their favored or home crafthall was, but each individual had special scene either embroidered or burned into the leather to tell their life stories. Each individual had their dragon’s name on the front, so that it would cover their hearts when they zipped up to prevent from Threadscore (when the parasitic menace would rain down onto flesh and literally eat away at the victim so fast it felt like a searing burn even as the disgusting thing tried to burrow its way inside) and protect against the cold of Between.

Neil didn't notice when Nicky finally found the key and unlocked the door because he was so caught up in trying to find Nicky’s past in his leather armor, wondering if he could possibly wear his OWN story so boldly for the whole world to see. "Here you go, Neil," Nicky said, and Neil forced his gaze up to the open doorway. The tall young man gestured for him to precede them. "Home sweet home, if anything involving the weyrleader can be called sweet."

Neil had known since early morning he'd be crashing on Weyrleader Wymack's couch for a couple weeks. He'd contemplated, in the hours following Wymack's visit as he meandered around the Gather, just how uncomfortable it would be. He still wasn't prepared for the way his stomach roiled inside him now. He'd been on his own since his mother died, and the last man he'd lived with was his father. How was he supposed to let Wymack lock the door every night with both of them under the same roof? 

He couldn't possibly sleep here; every time Wymack breathed Neil would wake up and wonder who was after him. Maybe he should back out and beg some other Holder to foster him for just a couple of weeks until the hatching, but how was he supposed to explain that to Wymack? Would he have to explain? Wymack thought Neil's mother was abusive and seemed to think he knew how bad it had been before his father was exiled, so maybe he'd understand Neil's reticence. 

Neil was trying his best to work through this all when he heard a familiar low rumbling. There was a dragon here… no- there was a dragon IN THE APARTMENT. How in all of Pern they could fit such a huge dragon INSIDE, he had no idea but the fact that he wouldn’t just be expected to fight Wymack, but his dragon as well sent him to trembling and he couldn’t catch his breath. He hadn't expected to lock up like this, and he'd hesitated too long. He saw the look Nicky sent Aaron, curious and confused, and knew he'd made a mistake. 

Still, it wasn't until Andrew stepped up alongside him to see what the holdup was that Neil could move again. Andrew was smiling, but his pale stare was intense, reminding Neil too much of the way his dragon had smirked at him that morning. Neil met his eyes for only a moment and knew it was worse to stay out here with them than it was to cross that threshold. He'd figure it out, but not here and not now, not with Andrew and Kevin as witnesses. 

Neil stepped over the threshold and started down the hall about ten feet long. The first doorway opened up into the living room Neil would be sleeping in. The couch Wymack had referenced was long and low, already more of a large cot than any couch he was familiar with before he remembered that here in the West it was traditional to have low furniture or pallets decorated with lots of blankets and pillows to make for comfortable and communal relaxation with family and friends. Lots of the furniture would have vents opened up under them to keep everyone warm. Remembering the fact that lots of Weyrs to the west also intersected hot springs and other thermal vents, it made sense that there would be vents engineered to not only carry air through the place, but also to let heat in as well. He vaguely remembered a Harper song about how the vents under the floor would often times be covered by a semi porous sloth-like sheet that would gather the excess moisture to prevent the growth of mold and recycle water that would then be purified and held in storage for easy use later. It was clever, he had to admit, and he wondered how much of it was good old Pernese intuition and how much of it was recycled from the original settlers and their technology.

The couch itself was cleared off with all of the pillows set to one side in a neat line held in place with a thick roll that Neil assumed was the topmost layer of the mattress. It was made thinner than the rest and easily removable for washing, though removable mattress tops were most often used for fosterlings who hadn’t yet learned to control their bladders, seeing as how they always had the same semi porous sheet that helped hold water inside them as well. He HOPED Wymack was just trying to be hospitable and no one else assumed that Neil couldn’t hold his bladder just because he had been homeless for so long. Moving forward, he exampined a couple of the pillows, noticing that they were all very plain but also very soft and very, very well made, and one even had a sticky note tacked to it saying that the blankets were in the klah table drawer. Neil was impressed that the Weyrleader had his own personal supply of the rich, earthy bark that would be steeped as a tea to provide both warmth and caffeine. It wasn’t exactly RARE but usually it was considered too precious a commodity for any single person to horde it.

Besides the couch,every other surface of the living room was covered in paperwork and empty klah mugs. Overflowing ashtrays no doubt used for the long wooden pipes that were used to smoke tobacco were in unhealthy abundance as well. He wanted to think the mess was some old, forgotten accumulation, but he knew too well that drudges came in at least every morning to change the glowbaskets and clean the hearth. Unless they were specifically told not to come into the Weyrleader’s apartments, they would have been there this morning right around the time when Neil had first met Wymack… and this mess had happened in the meantime.

Neil was halfway across the room to look out the window he had spotted and so desperately wanted to explore and push open when Nicky spoke up behind him. "What was that all about? Did your old man used to smoke the pipes or something?" Neil's blood turned to slush. He could feel his heartbeat trying to speed up to FORCE it to move, the strain palpable on every inch of his skin, going so fast it set him trembling head to toe. 

“What…? My father…?” He tried to ask nonchalantly, though he could feel his fingers tremble as he leaned into the deep depression allowed in the wall to pull at the heavy rope that would then push the lever to shove the thick glass out at an angle and allow new air to rush in. He hadn’t expected the window to be almost as large as he was, and was pleasantly surprised that he could probably curl up on the sill with a book and a blanket to read if he ever felt so inclined. If he ever survived this first encounter. Were they really going to do this now? Right now? Right here? He glanced around desperately for another window. If he made to jump out of this one, he was sure they would all just grab at him anyways. And he still hadn’t found where the dragon was. 

A low rumble from his left called his attention to another hall half hidden by a heavy curtain pulled back by a thick rope- no, an alcove. It looked more like a whole other room elevated a couple of feet off of the ground with a large stone ledge with a well worn depression in the center covered by pungent but clean smelling straw for bedding. The whole room was large enough to allow the fully grown bronze dragon that inhabited it to stand, ruffle his wings and shake his massive head before he turned around and started down the long hall that lead out to another cave entrance. Neil could just make out a large ledge that would no doubt facilitate the dragon’s landing just as well as it facilitated his takeoff. Neal was left just as shaken as he had been moments before, only now, he KNEW he could never sleep. Not with little more than a heavy curtain to separate him and THAT. Slowly, he turned his back to the window and faced the others, hoping that they couldn’t see how badly he was shaking.

"Maybe he was savoring the moment," Aaron said, looking almost bored with the trembling young man in front of them. 

"No," Nicky said, brows pinched in worry. "That was pure fight or flight. You know we’re not actually bad people, right, Neil? I mean- we’re dragon riders." 

Neil looked back at them. Nicky was watching Neil across the room, Aaron had already given up and was turning his attention to a neighboring room, and Andrew was staring with that same infuriatingly wide grin. “I think I’ll bet on the sire smoking pipes theory, myself.” 

“The Master Butcher and his wife both smoked the pipes, so that could be it.” Kevin said, still looking nonplussed. “But K’holinth says that he might have a harder time sleeping than we originally anticipated. He might have to sleep with us after all.” 

When Neil blanched even more, Nicky gave a bright smile and shrugged almost too casually. "It wouldn’t be the first time a green has asked. How about a tour?" 

“G… Green…?” Neil store, if he couldn’t find his tongue, he would end up swallowing it just to escape this worse-than-death situation! 

“Yea- all men who end up paired with green dragons are ‘notoriously amorous’. Haven’t you heard the Harper songs? If you wanted to sleep with us, though, you better take advantage of it now, before the hatching. Your dragon would be bonded to you and too young to handle the hormones for a good year after.” Nicky grinned easily. 

“What…? What does that have to do with anything?” Neil asked, bewildered. Weren’t they talking about how they were ready to expose all of his best kept secrets-not-secrets and blackmail him somehow or turn him over to his father or feed him to the massive bronze dragon the first chance they got? Why was he talking about sex and young dragons now?!

“Nicky. I told you, he’s not FAST enough to be a green. He can barely keep up with the current conversation.” Kevin said impatiently before turning back to Neil. “Do you want a tour or not?” 

Neil considered saying something, but he'd already settled himself into a deep enough hole already. If the shit was going to hit the walls, he wanted to at least be able to dig himself out of it. "Sure. Tour." 

There wasn't much to look at. A bathroom with running water and a metal tub in the center was the next closest room. It sported a shower attached to the wall and he assumed that it was powered by the waterfall and heated by the thermal vents. In the opposite room, a small breakfasting room had two counters- one that was positioned right above a stone stove that operated independently of the central hearth- and a small, low table in the center with a depressed floor that held blankets and pillows that Neil suspected were supposed to serve at the kitchen table. The bedrooms were at the end of the hall, and Neil noticed that with the way the apartments were set up, the master bedroom had a whole wall that was nothing but curtain and could open out into the dragon’s room in a way that Neil hadn’t noticed from the living room. 

Wymack had converted the second bedroom into an office. The office made up for the bare living room walls: it was covered with tapestries and class framed sheets of paper- a very rare commodity on Pern since it had to be hand made- a huge painting of Palmetto and a smaller one of the whole Wing, and miscellaneous artifacts on stone shelves that seemed to have been built into the wall itself just like the two bookshelves that lined the wall, one full of handmade books, calendars, maps, and records, while the other a mishmash of every other kind of artifact that wasn’t on the other stone shelves. Neil vaguely wondered what half of them were, but he just couldn’t settle his nerves from before. When were they going to ATTACK him?! 

Wymack's desk was buried in paperwork, not an inch of stone visible, and a color coded map of Palmetto was on top. Holding down one corner was a hefty abacus and a large clock. Vaguely, Neil recalled how the Harpers and record keepers had figured out how to count down the time to when Thread would fall by the very minute. Now, they could tell exactly when, where, and how much Thread would fall and be perfectly prepared for it. He had somehow just assumed that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE figured those numbers. Not each individual Weyrleader. What happened when Wymack grew too tired? Miscalculated? 

Nicky reached over the desk to a small glass vial that had been closed with a cork and scooped the bottle up with a triumphant sound before he twisted the lid off. "That's not yours," Neil said. 

"Purified numbweed capsules- the best painkillers on Pern," Nicky said, ignoring that implicit accusation. "Coach shattered his hip a few years back when Wy’Rhaun was threadscore and spiraled down, you know? That's how he met Abby. She was his Healer, and when she became Master Healer he invited her to come here when he started this place. The Healer Hall keeps calling her back to serve in the hall, but she keeps telling them to fuck off because she knows she’s more necessary here. Wing’s still split fifty-fifty on whether or not they're boning. Since Wymack’s a bronze, you would think he would be with whoever the rider of the Queen dragon is, right?” Nicky explained. Neil recognized the distraction, but he didn’t know any of this about dragons, so he figured he might as well listen while he had the chance.

“Does the Weyrleader always have to be the rider of whatever Bronze mates with the Queen, then?” Neil wondered instead of answering.

“Yep. That’s how it’s always been. But, traditionally that means the riders of those Bronze and Gold are together too, right? But that’s not true here. Wy’Rhaun flies the best simply because he’s the oldest and strongest dragon here. Everyone else is too young and inexperienced, but Dan’s Queen Lynth is the only one here. She was determined to make herself a team, but neither of them wanted to compromise on the mating. So- and now here’s a craft secret so you can’t tell anyone who’s not a dragon rider- What happens is that whenever their mating flights come, the riders just make sure they’re as far away from each other as possible and already have someone else there to occupy their attention. Their dragons get it on, and they get to get it on with whoever it is that they like, and everyone’s happy.

“Dan and Wymack have a kind of mentor-student relationship, right? She hopes to take over the Weyr as soon as she’s ready and he’s more than willing to give up his position to the Bronze that flies her queen, whenever the right bronze gets strong enough, but they talked it over with their dragons and between each other. They don’t want to have their own feelings hold back the entire Weyr, but they also don’t want each other. They need good, strong eggs, and their DRAGONS are great for each other. The riders just aren’t compatible. So, they decided to do the dragonrider equivalent to letting their dragons be friends with benefits while they work together to keep the Weyr running.” Nicky explained. 

Neil thought he understood. Danny was the Queen rider for the Foxes, but she was just a couple of years older than Neil himself where Wymack was old enough to be his father. He recalled that she had a boyfriend- a bronze that was also in the same wing. But, like Nicky had said, the other bronzes were smaller than Wymack’s Wy’Rhaun. Even Kevin’s K’holinth. Sure, he was the largest bronze at his age second only to Riko’s Yamor but they were still decades younger than Wy’Rhaun. The riders didn’t want to sully their mentorship- their friendship- by mating just because their dragons mated but Danny’s Lynth was the best queen for the Weyr and until he passed on his knowledge and the other bronzes grew to be a little stronger- which shouldn’t take more than another year or two- Wymack was the best Weyrleader and his Wy’Rhaun could help produce the best eggs. 

It wasn’t ideal, but it was what was best for right now. If the riders had to avoid each other for a couple of days twice a turn (because dragons laid eggs twice in a single rotation around their sun) that was a poultry concession for strong, capable eggs that would match with strong, capable Weyrlings who would become strong, capable dragonriders. 

“So its unavoidable for a rider to feel the same urges their dragons do during a mating?” wondered Neil. He didn’t know if he would enjoy that. At least by the time his dragon was old enough to mate, he could be long gone and away. He wouldn’t have to be forced to be with anyone, and he was confident in his own self control to be able to ride out a mating by himself.

“Yep- and vice versa. Which is why I told you to take your pickings while you can. Because once you’re bonded, if you expose your baby dragon to those strong hormones, you could hurt them- stunt their growth or even throw their hormones out of wack and make it so they’re impossible to control later in life. No one has ever actually DONE something like that for fear of hurting their dragon, but that doesn't mean it’s easy.” Nicky explained. “But, when your dragon is older, and if you’re a bronze or a gold who ends up in a winning mating flight, then you’ll find yourself in the same position as Danny and Wymack.”

“That sounds… less than desirable…” Neal frowned over at Nicky.

“Yea, but we all know Danny’s got a boyfriend- a Bronze, at that- who can more than satisfy her even if his dragon’s not strong enough yet to fly her queen. What’s left is Wymack, whose bronze is just young and still spry enough to catch her gold. But then what does Wymack do? Sulk alone in his room with his left hand? Nah- we’re all split betting whether or not he invites Abby in and they pass the time together. But, Andrew refuses to vote, which means you're the tiebreaker. Let us know ASAP. I've got money riding on it." He shook a couple pills into his hand, pushed the cork back in, and put the bottle back.

Neil looked to see what the others thought of this, but Andrew and Kevin had vanished somewhere in the middle of the lesson. Only Aaron remained, chewing on something from the kitchen, and he didn't look at all concerned. 

"You'll meet Abby tonight at dinner," Nicky said, stuffing the pills into his pocket. "We've got a couple hours to kill before then, so maybe we can take you by the training grounds and let you gawk at the weyr bowl. We've got the smallest number to make a proper wing formation, but even if it’s going to be small and he’ll have to take you up on K’holinth, Kevin's probably pissing himself in excitement." 

"I doubt that," Neil said, thinking of Kevin's dispassionate expression downstairs. 

"Kevin doesn't do excited," Aaron agreed, "but since Thread is the only thing he cares about and this next year is the last year to really get in some proper training with the Exy games, no one wants you on our court more than he does." Neil's answer got stuck somewhere in his throat as he processed that. It was the same thing Aaron said on the flight, almost, except Aaron sounded apathetic now where he'd been scornful earlier. 

Between that sudden change in attitude and the matching outfits, Neil was starting to second-guess what was going on here. These were just small things, but Neil had learned to survive on the fine details. "Isn't it difficult flying with him? Fighting Thread" he asked, changing what he'd been about to say. "I mean, with him being from Telgar." 

"Technically we haven't fought with him yet," Nicky said. "He just started getting into drills with us last month since his legs weren’t healed enough to hold him on K’holinth, even if the dragon healed in half the time. If he's anything in the sky like he is as a wing second from the ground, though, you are going to have the most awful year ever." Despite his ominous words, Nicky sounded amused. "But he's worth it." 

"Worth the fights, too?" Neil asked. "Like that one the Harpers say happened two weeks ago between the Foxes and Fire Hold? The one that Aaron said got completely out of hand. How many people got injured in that, again?"

“Fewer people than have gotten injured in the wake of your father.” Aaron shrugged, easily inviting the awkward silence that followed. Neil knew he shouldn’t have opened his mouth- he should have just let it be! But… but if they were going to attack him, they should do it already! They should attack him NOW so that he knew what to expect! Instead they were just playing games, switching places and chipping away at his mental resolve as if he was some sort of toy or new pet to be played with until they got bored!

Neil KNEW that Andrew was a ticking time bomb, his too cheerful demeanor brought on by a Pernese root called Felicity. Two years ago, Harpers said that some men attacked Nicky outside of a night Gather. Andrew was well within his rights to defend Nicky even before he had become a dragon rider but he’d almost killed the four grown men all by himself before he was haulled away. And Andrew was hardly older than Neil’s eighteen turns, not to mention almost half a foot shaller! The Harper Hall had initially thought that Andrew’s aggression and violence was a gross overreaction and tried to exile or shun him. His Healer and own defending Harper struck a deal instead: Andrew would continue to attend weekly sessions with both a local Healer and specially trained Harper, and take the special root that would dull his senses to temper his aggression with the added side effect of making him uncannily cheerful- no matter what.

After three turns, they would lead him off of his medication just long enough to assess his progress with an earlier chance given to good behavior and adherence to his regime. Any break from that strict regime, however, would be seen as a violation of his deal and the Harper Hall would deal with him swiftly and justly. If the Weyr healer, Andrew’s current Harper, or any visiting or Hall appointed Harper even suspected Andrew wasn’t in compliance they could request a test. If he failed, it was all over. Neil had no idea if manslaughter while on his Felicity would be grounds to say he was breaking his parole- as long as it was proved that Neil was the one in the wrong any dragonrider had a right to defend himself, his dragon, or his Weyr to the death- but he sincerely hoped that Andrew didn’t feel the sudden urge to try just to see what would happen… or worse… to stop taking his Felicity and instead go on an intentional killing spree just to see what would happen. If Neil was his new toy, he had no idea how that would play out and the last thing he wanted was this insane little dragon boy on TOP of all of the problems he already had with his own father!

As if on cue, Andrew appeared in the doorway with a bottle of well aged Benden Wine in one hand and Kevin at his back. “Success.”

“Ready, Neil?” Nicky asked. “We should probably beat it before Weyrleader or Wy’Rhaun show up.”

“Why?” Neil pointed at the liquor and was proud to see that his hand didn’t shake. “Is this a robbery in progress?” He knew that this was a new Hold full of past criminals but this… this was supposed to be his second chance. Third… Fourth… Whatever.

“Maybe it is. Will you tell Weyrleader on us?” Andrew asked, sounding entertained by the notion. “So much for being a proper dragonrider. I guess you really are a Fox.”

“No,” Neil said, though he didn’t really know what else he had been brought here for if not to be a dragonrider AND a Fox. “But I would ask him why you’re not on Felicity.”

There was a heartbeat of startled silence. The only one who didn’t react was Andrew; even Kevin looked surprised. Nicky was the first to find his tongue, and seemed to blurt out the first thing that came to mind. “Am I crazy? I am, right, Hemmi? Did I just see that happen?” he asked. Neil could only assume he was talking to his dragon, though why he would do it out loud for everyone to hear was beyond him. Everyone knew that riders could communicate telepathically with their dragons. 

“Don’t look at me,” Aaron said, and Neil frowned. 

“I would prefer if you talked to me, not your dragons,” he snapped, and thought he heard a series of low rumbles from somewhere deep within the Weyr. Maybe from the direction they had climbed? He watched, heart pounding in his chest as Andres reached up and drug his thumb painfully slow across his lips to erase his smile. 

“That sounds like an accusation, Nathaniel, but I didn’t lie to you.” Andrew said quietly, and silence reigned again until Neil found his voice.

“Omission is the easiest way to lie.” He wished he didn’t start trembling when he was frustrated! He wished he didn’t start to tear up- it made him look terrified, which he WAS, but it also hid his FURY just a bit too well. “You could have corrected me.”

“Could have,” Andrew admitted. “Didn’t. Figure it out yourself.”

“I did,” Neil said. He reached up, forcing his fingers to remain still even if he felt the slow, deep trembling of the muscles in his legs. Carefully, he tapped two fingers to his temple, copying Andrew’s mocking salute from their first meeting. “Better luck next time.”

“Oh, Yardith,” Andrew all but purred, the smile slowly but surely settling back across his lips as he seemed to stare right INTO Neil. “Oh NEIL you might actually turn out to be interesting. For a little while, at least. I don’t think the amusement will last. It never does.”

“Don’t mess with me.” Neil heard himself snap and cursed his father for his short temper for the hundredth time that sevenday alone!

“Or what?” Andrew purred, taking a step closer. Neil noticed the way everyone in the room tensed.

There was the sound of heavy winds and heavier pounding just before the curtains in the main room started to rustle just so, fluttering the papers througout the appartment. Neil vaguely realized why most of the cups of klah had been left there if the dragon was coming in and out and causing a stir, but that realization was drawned out by the sound of the front door’s lock being rattled. Andrew’s more medicated smile was back in an instant, bright and vacant. He turned to Kevin, and Kevin moved at the same time. The wine vanished between them in a practiced move.

“Hi, Weyrleader,” Andrew called over his shoulder. 

“Do you have any idea how much I hate coming home and finding you in my apartment?” demanded the older bronze rider from out of sight, though Neil wondered if he was really surprised. It seemed to him like having a dragon guarding his things was the best deterrent… then again, there was the pills and the alcohol. Even if it was WINE, it was Benden wine, the strongest alcoholic substance on the surface of Pern. Just two shots would be more than enough to knock someone out for the count. 

Andrew held up his empty hands in an innocent gesture that no one really believed and stepped into the hallway. Aaron and Kevin went after him, presumably with the alcohol tucked between their bodies, and left Nicky and Neil in the office. “I didn’t break anything this time,” Andrew’s voice trailed in, and Wy’Rhaun’s rumble sounded incredulous.

“I’ll believe that after I’ve checked everything I own.” Somehow, Wymack’s voice was a perfect mirror of his dragon’s. The door slammed down the hall, and it wasn’t long before the Weyrleader stepped into his office doorway. He wore a thickly thread woven pair of trousers that were seamed short for the heat and a faded short sleeved tunic that made him look more like a modern day easygoing Holder’s son than the leader of an entire Weyr. Neil guessed he didn’t have to look presentable on his home turf, but it was still disorienting.

Wymack gave Neil a once-over and nodded. “I see you made it alright. I was pretty sure Nicky’s Hemmi would race so fast he’d drop you over the sea and forget to even go Between.”

Neil felt Nicky watching him and said, “I’ve survived worse.”

“There is no surviving worse flying than that idiot’s,” Wymack said. “There’s just oepn casket or Between.”

“Hey, hey,” Nicky said, raising his hands in mock defence. “That’s not fair to me OR my dragon!”

“Life isn’t fair, low glow. Get over it. What are you still doing here?” Wymack snapped at him.

“Leaving,” Andrew grinned. “Goodbye. Is Neil coming too?”

“Going where?” asked Wymack, glancing between them, then to his dragon, clearly suspicious.

“Jeeze, Weyrleader, what kind of people do you think we are?” Nicky asked.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“We’re taking him to the training grounds,” Aaron said in exasperation. “We can clean him up and take him to the Den after to have him looked at before dinner if that makes you feel any better. You don’t need him right now, do you?”

“Just to give him this,” Wymack said, and Neil snagged the keys tossed his way before they could smack him in the face. They were heavy and hard- metal. Neil eyes them as Wymack started to tick them off on his fingers. “The long key is for when the Weyr door closes at night. The guards won’t let anyone in, but you can get in through the door beside the main gates once you announce yourself and they’ll make sure you’re not an intruder before they let you pass. The small one gets you into the apartment. The third one with the orange ink is for the gear room, but I only expect you to get in there to get accustomed with wearing your flying gear now. You won’t be trying to get your dragon up until it’s well old enough, unless you want to be grounded through to next Threadfall. That being said, THIS threadfall is nearing, and if you want to be ready, I expect you to take full advantage of our training grounds. There are ample dragons who can take you up and run through drills with you, and there should be no reason you don’t ask questions you don’t know the answers to.”

“Thank you,” Neil said, clenching his fingers tight enough around the tiny metal that he could feel the teeth digging into his palm. Somehow, it made him feel steadier with them in his hand. It didn’t matter where he was sleeping or what tricks Andrew was up to. There was a training ground- there was an egg on the Hatching Ground waiting for him. There was just a year between himself and freedom.

“Can we go now?” Andrew asked, sounding more like his brother by the second.

“Get out,” Wymack urged them, and Andrew vanished. Kevin and Aaron followed. When Nicky reached the office doorway, Wymack put a hand in his path to stop him. “Don’t you dare traumatize him on his first day here.”

Nicky looked from Wymack to Neil. “Neil’s not traumatized, right?”

“Not yet,” Neil said, keeping his voice steady. After a moment’s debate, he shrugged the bag off his shoulder. There was nothing so important in it that he couldn’t just leave it behind and he knew that if he had to run, a few day’s provisions wouldn’t do him any good then and there. He would be better off dropping it and gathering other things along the way if he had to. Out in the wild, holdless and with no Crafthall it meant death to travel without it. Here, it just showed everyone that he had something worth taking. Neil didn’t know why Andrew was sober or why he’d picked Neil up from the Gather when it was supposed to be Nicky, but he didn’t think Andrew was done playing yet. Neil trusted Wymack at this point much more than he did Andrew and he could only hope he wasn’t making a mistake. 

“Then you better hurry before Andrew send someone looking for you.” Wymack said.

Neil swallowed hard, closed his eyes for a brief moment, then left the office. The others had left the front door open and were all waiting in the hallway for him. Neil locked the door and slipped the key ring onto his belt loop, then twisted it until the keys were settled snug in his pocket, keeping them from making noise before he walked to meet them. Andrew led his cousins and Kevin to the stairs again, and moments later they were all filing down again. Neil’s fleeting sense of safety vanished as soon as they got to the second landing, because the others had arranged themselves in a ring around him, all turned to face him as he was trapped against the curved corner. 

Andrew’s smile vanished almost immediately and Neil returned his stare, every muscle tight for a fight. So they were finally going to do it- they would finally jump him here, four to one. After what felt like an agonizing eternity, Andrew took a slow, deliberate step forward. He reached forward, and Neil swatted him away, determined not to let him get a firm hold on any of his clothes. Andrew tried again, and Neil had no voice but to step back, realizing too late that what Andrew really wanted was to get him as deep into the corner as he could. It was curved, but it was still deep enough that it prevented Neil from being slippery even if he wanted to. Angrily, he balled his fists up and prepared himself again, furious that someone he had to literally look DOWN at could have such a powerful presence! And his EYES- all Neil could see was a dragon in waiting- massive and blue, sneering at him.

“How nice to meet you, Nathaniel,” Andrew drawled. “It might be a while before we see each other again.”

“Somehow I don’t think I’m that lucky,” Neil snapped back immediately. 

“Like this,” Andrew clarified, reaching up with his finger to press against his own lips before he turned the finger and pressed it to Neil’s, grin lazily returning. “It will have to wait until after the Hatching and ceremonies. Abby threatened to revoke our training rights for the coming weeks if we break you sooner than that. Can’t have that, can we? Kevin would cry… and seeing as we need all of the dragons we can get if we’re going to meet the greater menace of Thread together… No worries. We’ll wait until everyone’s here and attentive, not watching the eggs and queen, and Abby’s got too many other Foxes to worry about. Then we’ll throw you a welcome party you won’t ever forget.”

“You need to rethink your persuasion techniques. They suck.” Neil hoped the venom in his voice hid the trembling in his knees, especially as Andrew’s eyes made a slow and purposeful treck down to his lips again. 

“I don’t need to be persuasive,” Andrew said, putting a hand on Neil’s chest, fingers splayed out but easily pressing down hard enough to feel his pulse. Almost frantic, Neil tried to shove him away, but Andrew grabbed the offending hand and twisted it hard and fast before slamming it into the wall, pressing his own hand even harder into Neil’s chest. He was SURE Andrew could feel everything through his shirt- KNEW! His heartbeat was betraying him, and Andrew’s smile was too wide again as he leaned forward. “You’ll just learn to do what I say.” he hissed, eyes still on Neil’s lips. It felt like another eternity that they stood like that, and Neil didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until his chest threatened to explode from the effort. 

Almost desperately, he moved to shove at Andrew again, but the smaller man was too fast and Neil stumbled forward, seeing nothing but an empty stairwell in front of him. Andrew reached out just before he could go headfirst down the stone steps and held on until he scrambled to his feet. Then, Andrew shoved past him, bumping him from shoulder to hip and headed for the next landing. Kevin was half a step behind him, and Aaron didn’t even spare a glance in Neil’s direction on his way by. Only Nicky stayed behind long enough to smile at Neil.

“Ready for this?” he asked, but didn’t stay long enough to hear Neil’s answer before he went ahead.

Neil remained behind for a few seconds longer to stare at their backs before the stairs started to curve again. He was starting to think Kevin wasn’t his only problem at Palmetto Reaches. It was almost a relief, really. Neil couldn’t anticipate Kevin, who hardly seemed to care about his father or his past, and he didn’t know what would trigger the man to break down his nice guy act and just turn Neil over to his father’s people, but Andrew was just a psychotic little dragon boy, and Neil had grown up around violence. Handling him would be easy. Neil would just have to be careful. Just before disappearing from sight, Andrew smirked up at him and reached up with the same finger he had used to press into Neil’s lips, beaconing. 

“Ready,” Neil said, and started after his Weyrmates.


	3. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil gets his first real taste of what it means to be a dragonrider. He knew they were going to tell of his secrets, but he didn't think that meant they expected him to trust them, too. When Andrew takes him up to the sky on his blue dragon Yardith, though, he learns a lesson that he knows he can't ever forget if he expects to be a dragonrider once the eggs hatch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're sensitive to exchanges of power dynamics within a relationship, this chapter has some of that towards the end. Andrew needs Neil to trust him, and to do that Neil has to give up a lot of his own personal control. There is also a bit of torture as Andrew tries to get Neal to that point, not really giving him a choice. It's not as heavy as it could be, but I want to warn those friends who are sensitive. Other than that, happy reading!

Neil wasn’t sure what he expected. Of course they wouldn’t take him directly to the training grounds. Of course they wouldn’t just do as they were supposed to- not with Andrew in the lead. As they got to the final landing, Neil expected them to turn back out and into the huge cave where their dragons were, but Andrew kept going. He turned down a long corridor, around a few corners, and started down a long, curving hall that was too wide and too tall. Neil bet a dragon could traipse right down it with no problem at all.

Frowning, he continued to follow them, and felt his heart leaping in his chest as he noticed that they were actually going around the volcano. There must have been hollowed out corridor that went all the way around! He wondered if there were other shortcuts and corridors that could lead where they needed… and then wondered how they made the halls in the first place. These were smooth, but not even, just well worn with years of travel… But the path underfoot was laid with stones. Did they just mine out a hall and lay it with bricks? He did see support beams at even intervals, but those were also decorated with images of dragons and foxes, and he wondered if he should ask someone or just leave it be. He really did WANT to know how they could dig out such a home… but, his attention was stollen by echoing sounds as they neared another large passageway. 

“What’s that?” he wondered as they passed a large room. There were low tables, colorful tapestries, and large pillows everywhere. He could hear music and see that the ceiling was an assortment of glows covered by colored glass. Then, he heard the singing and turned his attention to the back of the room where there was a small group of children singing and dancing along with a few young men and women. 

“Harper lessons at the creche. Dragonriders have lots of children- and Weyrleader tends to take in all the orphans he can. This is where they stay till they’re about twelve or so, old enough to be fostered out or stand on the hatching grounds. He’s determined that in the meantime, though, they get a proper education.” explained Nicky before beckoning Neil to follow. 

“I didn’t know they stayed inside the weyr, too…” Neil murmured, tearing his eyes away and following. He was only about ten or so when his mother had taken him away. He could remember the Harper teaching balads just fine but… had he really been that… happy? 

“A Weyr is the safest place on all of Pern, Neil. Of course we would keep them here. After losing their parents- if they were lucky enough to have their parents actually die and not some other tragedy- the least we could do for them is to make sure they’re safe and well cared for. Everyone on Pern has the right to that. Everyone.” Kevin said so firmly that Neil felt his cheeks burn. If that really was true, then Neil wouldn’t have had to go on the run. Dragonriders would have taken him and his mother in. He would have been protected. 

“Next is the Records room and Music hall if you’re wondering.” Andrew called back, his voice following the song’s cadence effortlessly. “Though, with the Sightroot around your eyes, you probably shouldn’t strain to read too much.” 

“Unless it’s just for decoration?” wondered Nicky, half turning to Neil. For his part, Neil said nothing. He actually DID want to see the records room and read as much as he could, but he wouldn’t admit that to them. Nor would he explain why he had taken to wearing the root’s dark stain around his eyes. Lots of people around Pern used it, and some poorer ladies crushed it into a pulp before painting it around their eyes to make their lashes look longer and thicker since they couldn’t afford the heavy inks others used. He knew they already knew who he was but that didn't change the fact that he was hiding from everyone else. Let them think he was just a vain boy trying to look more handsome. He didn’t care, as long as his pale blue eyes remained hidden and no one could tell his lashes shimmered copper in the rays of sun. 

By the time they passed by the stores room, underground bathing house, the huge area nearly as big as the entire circumference of the weyr that was devoted to the infirmary, nearly as large kitchen, and wealthy pantry, Neil could feel himself growing impatient. He felt like he had circled nearly the entire Weyr by then, and the better part of an hour was passing. He knew they were actually going farther down into the earth, though, because while it was dark, they no longer encountered windows. They were below ground level, and only air ducts greeted them now. When would they circle back around and go UP to the training grounds?! If Kevin was so eager, why were they following Andrew in the opposite direction?! 

He was almost going to open his mouth and start to ask, when he realized that he had to reach up and brush an arm over his forehead to free it of a film of sweat first. Only then did he realize that they must have passed even below the baths, and were much, much closer to the heart of the thermal vents. The volcano was long dead, but Neil had asked around and realized that what made Palmetto so favorable was the many pockets of thermal vents that had opened up and made the natural mineral waters that pooled up around the island heated and medicinal, not to mention drew many strange and exotic animals. The thermal vents even continued on down into the ocean itself, giving them ample supply of aquatic animals that fed off of them and those than fed off of them as well. 

It wasn’t just the water that the vents heated, though. Neil knew that there was an entire beach full of continuously heated sands that made for the most amazing steam graced sunsets in all of Pern and shrouded the island so much so that it hid it from sailors and dragons alike for hundreds of years. Now, the urgent call for Wymack to lead the ships to the cove on the far side of the island made much more sense. At night, it must be like trying to sail through a wall of darkness and fog, and there was no telling what a ship might encounter. But, why were they headed towards those beaches underground like this?

His answer was given just moments later when they encountered a heavy door that was hidden by a heavy tapestry at a bend in the wall. Andrew motioned past the tapestry and farther down the hall. “That way’s to the training grounds, back up and around where you first flew in. This…” he smirked as he turned back to the door and opened it, causing a huge billow of steam to billow out. “Is what you’re here for.” Before Neil could even protest, Nicky reached back and took hold of his hand, pulling him forward and past the threshold, into the smoke.

“We’re lucky- Lynth is out for now. Probably hunting, since the rest are out, too. But we’ll have to be careful and listen out for Marthe.” Nicky grinned as he pulled Neil forward even more. Neil could feel the stone beneath his feet giving way to warm sand, and though he wanted to pull his hand away, he couldn’t quite see through all the smoke. There were glows along the floor that let off a faint glow, but only just barely allowed Neil that the cavern was massive and there must have been stone stairs carved into the walls, giving access to ledges much like a theater, everything arranged in a semicircle. He could vaguely see a larger ledge that reminded him a bit too much of a throne-like version of the dragon’s bedding in the Weyrleader’s apartment... Still, the smoke was thickest along the sand bowl, and as Neil’s feet sank deeper and deeper, he felt the sands heating up hotter and hotter. He was almost going to complain that it hurt through his tattered and threadbare shoes, but then he noticed the first mound. It was huge, rising midway up his chest, and nearly VIBRATED with a force that made Neil freeze. 

“You know, I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t really UNDERSTAND the connection between dragon and rider, Nathaniel,” Andrew jeered, and Neil could feel that he had circled back around behind him- maybe just to whisper in his ear. “Maybe seeing these- touching these eggs- will give you a little more perspective. Abby made us swear not to break you before you’re fully bonded because no one seems to think you’ll survive if you don’t have the added help from your dragon, and maybe she’s right. But you have to first Impress. And you can’t do that until you survive these next few weeks.”

“Weeks…? I thought it would be just a single week- Wymack seemed to think the eggs would hatch any day,” Neil found himself half whispering, as if he would disturb the unborn dragons.

“Yes, well, Lynth says that it’ll be another two and a half, maybe three. And no one knows the eggs like the Queen.” Andrew shrugged casually, reaching forward to yank Neil away from the egg he had been staring at. Neil stumbled, but felt Nicky reach out again to grab hold of him and help steady. By the time he got his footing, he wished he hadn’t- the sand was HOT, and the steam stung his eyes! Andrew didn’t seem to care, though, as he lead Neil over to the center of the clutch, only releasing him and shoving Nicky away. “The question now is if you even really want to stay here- if you even really HAVE a dragon waiting on you. It won’t hurt anyone if you die when there’s no dragon waiting for you in the first place, after all. It would just go Between anyways, if we can’t find another boy.”

“What? So what, you’re just going to kill me?” Neil blinked hard as he shifted his footing, blinking his eyes hard as he felt the sweat dripping down his forehead and the steam filling his lungs. He couldn’t even see Andrew and the others anymore. 

“Oh no, we’re not going to kill you,” Andrew laughed, raising his hands in mock defense, though Neil could see the glint of a blade, even through the smoke. 

“That doesn’t sound very promising.” Neil frowned, taking a half step back. When his hand accidentally touched an almost spongy surface, though, he snatched it back. 

“Neither does the fact that the son of the Master Butcher just so happened to be lurking around a gather where five people were found all chopped up.” came Andrew’s nearly casual half song. “Careful where you put your hands, Nathaniel. The eggs are still a little soft. The last thing we would want is for Lynth to find one of her precious eggs damaged and YOU the only stranger she can’t recognize.

“Wh… what?” Neil felt his blood run cold despite the too-hot sands underfoot. “I didn’t…” He shifted so that he was as far away from the egg as possible, though he kept his distance from Andrew as well. “You think I killed those people?!” He gasped, remembering now how he had thought he saw his father’s men there in the crowd. Maybe he really HAD and they had just ducked out before the dragons arrived?

“That doesn’t sound like a denial to me, Nathaniel,” Andrew shrugged. “Let me lay it out for you- I have no problem putting this knife in your chest right now and leaving you as a midnight snack for Lynth when she returns. She might even thank me. What I DO have a problem with is bad, dangerous, murderous people that mean harm to my Weyr and my people coming in and thinking they can just join our fold. You are not family- and you for damn sure aren’t Weyrbred. So… Did you have anything to do with those men or not?”

“I didn’t! I have never killed a man in my life,” Neil hissed, heart pounding his his chest, even as fear pounded hard and fast in his chest. “And for you to say you have no problem killing it, it sounds like you're the murderous type, not me! My father…” Neil glanced over at Kevin, wondering if he would say anything. The dark haired young man only stared back, though, arms crossed and booted feet shifting so that it looked like he was swaying to and fro. 

As Neil glanced out through the fog, it looked like everyone but Andrew was making the same motions- pendulums swinging like the grand clocks in the record halls or the time keepers in the Harper halls. Waiting. “My father was the Master Butcher, and YES he was a bad man but I- when I was younger, on a visit to Telgar on business with my mother, I met up with Kevin and Riko to ride with the dragons and watch them train for the upcoming games… That was the first and last time I saw the way my father conducted 'business'. We watched him… as he killed a man- chopping off limb after limb and cauterizing every wound as he went. I didn’t know… I couldn’t have known!” Now, Neil was shaking again, rage warring with terror as he shook his head and tried to remind himself that the smell of burnt flesh was not his own, no matter how his feet hurt on the hot sands.

“My mother ran with me that night, taking me away on the back of a dragon before anyone could know we were gone. We’d been running since… I haven’t seen my father since… but he’s never stopped looking for me.” Neil finally admitted through clenched fists.

“You know, I so desperately WANT to believe that sad story… only… There are a few missing details, Neil. That, and the fact that we have YET to see your mother.” Andrew pointed out, glancing over at Kevin. Suddenly, Neil understood. Kevin wasn’t saying anything because he’d already told Andrew all of this. Andrew was matching his story to Kevin’s, and waiting for Neil to lie so that he would have a reason to kill him. Swallowing hard, Neil shook his head.

“I… I was being raised to take over from my father when I was younger. I was supposed to start my training later, but my father wanted me to know as much as I could-- and kept me from being fostered out…” now, Neil glanced towards Kevin, and motioned at him. “I was raised to animal husbandry, hunting, and butchery the way Kevin was raised on Exy. I didn’t have a choice… The diplomatic stuff was just a part of it, too. Every Dragon on Pern relies on meat from a Butcher to fill their stomachs. If not a Butcher, then a farmer and his herds. Either way, Farmers look to Butchers to sell their beat and prepare the raw product for the consumption of others- for the Chefs to prepare. My father realized that and made a business out of it. We didn’t just do our jobs. We gathered favors, made deals, prepared the best… and worst… meats for those who ‘deserved’ it. I was RAISED to be like that… but my mother never wanted that life for me.” Neil swallowed hard as he felt the rough cotton fabric of his oversized tunic scratch uncomfortably against his bare skin. “I remembered her begging him not to take me- I had just gotten a fire-lizard and I needed to study with the Harper that would be coming… but he said I didn’t have a choice… so I went.”

“What’s a fire-lizard?” Nicky asked from somewhere in the mists, and Andrew glared in his direction until he fell silent. 

“Fire dragonnet. It’s a common name for fire dragonnet…” Neil explained, remembering that he had seen the adorable miniature dragons flickering around the Weyr ever since he had come. He had even seen a couple resting with the dragons when they had first landed. “But… when I ran with my mother, mine followed me. It was invaluable… Always told us when my father’s people were coming. Always told us where we could hunt- helped track for us. Helped fish when we were near water… But the last time my father’s men caught up with us- after he had been exiled- he got shot down by a marksman when he tried to warn us.” 

“And your mother? I hope you’re not still trying to tell us half-truths, Nathaniel.” Andrew took a couple of steps forward, until the knife was pressed with its flat side against Neil’s pulse. 

“She was killed in that same encounter…” Neil admitted after an agonizing silence, unable to hold back when Andred had pushed him into stepping back by threat of getting his throat slit, until his back was pressed fully against a still-soft egg. “She died, and I had to bury her. All those years, she made us move from hold to hold or live off of the land, traveling with traders or even Shunned… but when they finally caught up with us… She shielded me so I could run, and we got away but she must have been shot by an arrow, too… She died by the time we reached the next hold and I didn’t know what else to do but keep moving.”

“And so that’s how you just ended up at that Gather? You’re telling me you didn’t just give up and join your father’s men to kill those others there?” Andrew asked, grinning.

“I didn’t even really know they were there,” Neil snapped. “I THOUGHT I saw them but I was still running FROM them. That’s why I was so scared of you all drawing so much attention to me. My father worked too closely with dragon men and I look different enough now that I could have possibly been mistaken but not if dragons spoke to me!”

“Oh…? Is that what you were running from? Not dragons themselves?” Andrew asked in that playful, sing-song voice.

“I’m not SCARED of dragons, Andrew,” Neil couldn’t help but want to antagonize him. “I’m scared of what my father would DO to dragons! To ME if he knew I was mingling with them. Dragon men are still just MEN after all. What happens when they’re poisoned by bad meat? Or stabbed while they’re inside a house too small to let a dragon in? My father controlled the entire continent just by handling the distribution of meat- and his men wouldn’t stop until they found me- he doesn’t want me to JOIN them. He’s pissed off that I left him and still KNOW. If I was caught by dragons and had to confess everyone I knew was working with him- even if it was eight years ago- every contact he still had outside of Southern would be taken down. I’m a loose end. He’ll kill me.”

“... So that’s it…?” The question came after too long. 

“What else COULD there be?” Neil’s shoulders slumped. “Isn’t this bad enough?” 

“The man your father killed that day was rider of the second strongest Bronze in Telgar,” Kevin finally spoke up, and Neil regretted tempting fate like that immediately. “Do you know what happens when a Rider dies?”

After a silent shake of Neil’s head, Andrew leaned forward, letting the knife cut a tiny line into Neil’s neck. “Their dragon goes Between,” Andrew whispered, too close. 

“Neil, you weren’t just there that day to witness political banter between the Master Butcher and play with dragons. You were Searched, just like me and Riko. There were three bronzes for sure on the hatching grounds, and they were clearly the largest, most beautiful eggs any queen ever laid… but Tetsuji’s bronze had had too much competition to fly the queen that year. He wanted to lay the perfect foundation in Telgar for Riko to take over when his own dragon grew large enough, and he couldn’t do that if another Bronze ended up Weyrleader. He called your father in to kill the Bronze rider… and to show US the way things had to be done.” Kevin said, the most he had ever said to Neil since their reunion.

“No…” Neil shook his head, eyes wide. He didn’t remember dragons coming for him- speaking with him when he was younger! How could he had been Searched?

“Riko was going to take over Telgar, and the other two bronzes needed to remain as wing Second and Third, not as competition for him. We needed to see what would happen if we got too ambitious. Your mother saw it, too, and realized that your father was going to let you stand on the grounds… but if you didn’t Impress- or worse, didn’t impress the bronze you were supposed to, then you would be killed. And your father would be expected to do it. What no one knew, though, was that your mother could hear dragons.” Now, Kevin turned his attention to an egg to his side. “She was one of the rare women that happen every once in a generation would could hear each and every dragon. It happens, it seems… but only in a certain bloodline, and only rarely. She had kept it a secret from everyone, but she could hear that the dragons had just found another young man- someone from a partnering Weyr- that the Queen dragon herself had requested. That was rare enough, but when your mother heard the queen refer to the trio of bronze eggs, she knew that meant you wouldn’t Impress them. Your father would have to kill you, even if you were Searched and the other dragons were sure that you would for sure Impress.” 

Neil shook his head, and Andrew withdrew the blade so that he wouldn’t cut himself, taking a step back, smirking. “Oh, my, it looks like you DIDN’T know.” 

“The reason your father’s men won’t leave you alone IS partially because you’re a loose end. But it’s also because that third bronze was Impressed by that other boy, Jean… and the fact that Testuji's own bronze was the one who snuck your mother out that night. Despite being the drag on who was supposed to be watching her. Against his rider's orders. It was your father’s duty to kill you. You wouldn’t have Impressed that hatching anyway… and then your mother kept evading their searches- even WITH dragons… and then Dragons started to refuse to hunt her.” Kevin seemed unable to stop now that he had started telling Neil the truth. “Testuji found out that she must be one of those rare women who could hear all the dragons and was using her telepathy to garner sympathy from them and hide. It wasn’t just your fire-lizard that was protecting you from your father’s men. It must have been your mother, too. And part of the reason why you weren’t Searched since then. Your mother was ten times the liability you were.”

“But, we really should send her a thanks.” Andrew grinned now, taking a step back and now starting to shift from foot to foot like the rest of them, eerie pendulums in the misty hatching grounds. “If she hadn’t died, we never would have found you- did you know that nearly every dragon on Pern has been murmuring about ‘Neil’ for a good while now? I’m guessing it must have just started right after she died. Finally, they could find you- and protect you, just as they had promised to Mary.”

“That’s impossible… I- I call bullshit,” Neil shook his head, though he did take a step away from the egg, feeling it too hot against his back and unable to shift his own feet on the hot sands while he was leaning back against it. He wished his voice didn’t lilt the way it did just then, though, betraying the careful country accent he tried to adopt.

“You might call it that, but why else would the dragons name you? Specifically Search for YOU? Denial is one thing, Nathaniel, but I thought we were playing the Truth game for a while. Why would you do something so stupid as call us liars NOW?” Andrew asked, blade in hand again- and Neil wondered where he had stowed it away to in the first place. He didn’t see a knife belt on the Blue rider, just the regular thick riding belt that helped support the lower back and hips and held all the loops and buckles for the flying straps.

“I… It just doesn’t make sense… If I wasn’t even supposed to be a Bronze rider…” Neil shook his head. How important could he BE to the dragons if he couldn’t even be a Bronze rider when he was first Searched? And Kevin had said that they had never had a young dragon to Between at Telgar. Neil assumed that that meant that every dragon had been accounted for. Didn’t that mean that every dragon had still found their soul mate? Even if he hadn’t been there? So then what good was he? Even if he had been Searched now, what if it was too late? What if he wasn’t even supposed to be a dragon rider? 

“Every dragon is necessary- it doesn’t matter the color,” Kevin snapped, showing anger for the first time, just as a loud, thunderous roar seemed to shake the very sands underfoot. For a moment, Neil was scared that dragon men could turn into dragons themselves, and Kevin would sprout wings and scales, but then Andrew’s hand shot out and grabbed the front of his tunic.

“Lynth’s back. I would run if I were you.” he grinned, even as the others were already steadily moving towards the exit. Just before they reached the stones themselves, though, he stopped Neil and turned back to face him. Neil didn’t miss how Andrew being on the stones while Neil was still on the hot sands made they eye level now. “Just remember that playing this game of truth was what saved you from certain death.” Andrew whispered to him, blue eyes boring into Neil, even as the sounds of multiple sets of heavy wings beating at the night air started to fill the cavern and clear out the steam. All Neil could do was silently stare back until Andrew turned and ducked out of the door and past the tapestry. Neil didn’t dare look back, but he was sure that he only just managed to escape before Lynth entered the hatching grounds.

He was just catching his breath, hands on his knees, when he felt Andrew’s hand at the back of his neck. “Like Kevin said- every Dragon is necessary… but if I even suspect you of anything that had even the remotest chance of hurting anything that’s MINE, I’ll kill you myself.”

“And if I don’t Impress?” Neil couldn’t help but ask, still struggling to calm his fear. The fingers at the back of his neck tightened, and he could feel Andrew’s lips on his ear.

“I guess you had better hope there really is such a thing as good luck, then, NEIL.” Andrew whispered before roughly shoving Neil in such a way that he was pushed into a standing position less he fall, and had to stumble forward. Nicky was the one who stepped in his way to wrap strong arms around him and steady him again, allowing him to get his footing again before they started past the tapestry again and on to the training grounds at last. 

Neil noticed the brilliant orange paint first. The bricks lining the halls slowly started to fade into it, but it was soon too bright to ignore, and the brilliant glows held inside baskets lined with special mirrors did nothing to dim the glare. They stepped out into the center of the dormant volcano bowl, and Neil noticed that there were three other large caves that opened out into it as well. Each one was lined with the bright orange paint, as well as the stairs and platforms that were a shameless mirror of the nesting grounds below, carved right into the rock of the volcano itself. Neil could see the long metal poles that extended out into the bowl itself, and knew that when it was too hot or raining, there were levers and mechanisms that would roll out thick panes of color tinted glass to shield spectators during Games. In emergencies, it was said that those same glass pannels could shut flush against each other and prevent Thread from falling into the bowl, but Neil wasn’t sure. He had never seen it himself, but he supposed that if they had to bring the entire Hold inside the Weyr and more rooms weren’t ready yet, that would HAVE to hold. Not that there was anything for Thread to consume in the bowl itself. It was all stone, without a single patch of green anywhere to be seen.

As he took another couple of steps forward, though, Neil realized that his way was barred by a thick pane of clear glass as well. He frowned and reached forward, feeling the cold pane. “How do we get in?”

“Hey, careful there. You know, if you leave your handprint there and someone comes to put theirs beside it, you’ll end up matched just as closely as a dragon and their rider. 

“Harper tale…?” Neil wondered, though he did reach up and rub his travel worn tunic on the glass to clear his handprint. 

“Maybe. But I bet your girlfriend wouldn’t mind trying it out.” Nicky grinned. 

Neil looked up at him. “What?”

“Come on, as cute as you are, you can’t tell me you don’t have a girlfriend. Or is it that you really would ride a green, like me?” grinned Nicky, using the old Pernese saying to indicate homosexuality. Neil knew from reading records in his father’s study that just because someone rode a green dragon that didn’t mean they were for sure homosexual, but that during the first few hatchings, it was noted that there were many male riders of green dragons who didn’t care one way or another. It didn’t seem to matter that it was that way with just about every dragonrider , since it was noted that greens were notoriously more free with their affections, often having many partners as well as children, and many specifically sought out stronger, more assertive riders to partner with. Nicky didn’t seem to care as he rolled with the superstition, though. “If so, please tell me now and save me the trouble of figuring it out.”

Neil stared at him, wondering how Nicky could care about something like that when he could HEAR their dragons flickering out from Between and settling down into the center of the bowl and waiting on them to start practicing. Nicky must have heard them, too, but he was just standing around like Neil’s answer was the secret path around this invisible barrier. Irritated, Neil looked from Nicky around to see if he could find a break in the seemingly seamless glass pane himself. 

“What’s it matter?” he asked, sure that after what had happened on the hatching grounds, Nicky couldn’t seriously want to pursue HIM. Not knowing who his father was.

“I’m just curious,” Nicky said, grinning.

“He means nosey,” Aaron said.

“I don’t prefer any color over another.” Neal said. “Let’s go in.”

“Bullshit,” Nicky pushed.

“I don’t,” Neil snapped, impatience putting an edge in his voice. It wasn’t quite the truth, but it was close enough. “Are we going in or not?” he growled. 

In response, Kevin pushed past Nicky and moved to the left, walking about thirty feet before he came to a heavy metal door on the other side of the glass pane, motioning Neil. “Come on.” he said.

Neil didn’t have to be told twice. He hurried down the hall, already pulling out his keys as he went as he wondered where the door OUTSIDE was if this was supposed to be the gear closet. Kevin watched him as he picked the right key, then motioned him to open the door. Expecting to see leather and metal, Neil was taken aback when he was greeted with a lounge area. Three thick pallets and two low couches similar to but vastly more decorated than the one in the Weyrleader’s apartment took up most of the space, forming a semicircle around a slightly raised stage on which several instruments were arrayed- no doubt for Harpers to perform. Behind the stage was a huge tapestry on which a map of Palmetto was expertly crafted, complete with the Weyr in the heart of it, and Neil suddenly couldn’t wait to fly over the island again. Posted to either side was a list of dates and times that Neil recognized as Gathers and Exy games and various other social events.

The rest of the walls were covered in paintings and drawings. Some of them were professionally done- he could see the mark of the Painters’ Crafthall and recognized them as illustrations from dragons and their riders mid-flight or swooping low to the ground. Scenes of them bathing and playing in the ocean, as Weyrlings and in council were abundant as well, but Neil noticed that many of the works of art looked like they had been taken by one of the Foxes themselves. Someone had a decent enough hand to sketch scenes of everyday life and they had scattered the pages on precious parchment wherever they could fit, held in place with metal pins. Taking up one entire corner was a clump of sketches that might have filled an entire book in a Recordhall, all featuring three ladies and their dragons.

Dragonriders could be both men and women, but there had been entire turns where the majority of Pern had thought of Queen dragons as little more than egg layers, especially since they could not actually breathe fire, no matter how many phosphene bearing rocks they digested. The Queens solution to that was to fly low in the skies when Thread fell with special flame throwers, catching any threads that fell where their wing couldn’t catch, becoming Pern’s Last Defence before the menace met soil or greenery or even flesh. There were still Holders who would stand on the ground and use similar flame throwers to search out any Thread that could have possibly escaped THEM to make vicious burrows that would grow within the soil until the organism had grown so large it would burst out nearly as big as a fully grown dragon itself, transformed into a writhing mass of thick, oily black tendrils that would whip out and devour whatever it could to grow even more until it was killed with fire. Unusually, though, that was never allowed to happen. Queens did their jobs. Every dragon flew when Thread was in the sky, queen or not. 

According to Harpers, when Dan first asked to start the Fox Weyr, she was denied on the grounds that she was only a single queen, and still young at that. It was argued that she was not mature enough to even Fly, let alone have her queen make decent eggs. She happened upon Wymack close to a year later, then, and heard that he had had a very large hand in starting the Palmetto Reaches hold and was more than willing to have the help of more dragons than just himself to settle the well meaning but struggling Hold. She would bring along two of her good friends as well as he devoted young Bronze boyfriend, and they would happily start a Weyr in the long dead Weyrbowl with the recruits that Wymack found, providing protection as well as martial law to the budding nation of past criminals who were hoping to get a new start and Hold before Threadfall. Despite the controversy of the older Bronze flying the young Queen, Dan held onto her Weyr and three years later when the Hold had not only been built and proven, but thrived, it was obvious Wymack made the right choice. Palmetto was still not PERFECT but the Hold fell into line with the Dragons watching over them and promising protection come Threadfall and was slowly starting to find its place on the map of Pern.

Somehow, Neil’s mental picture of the young woman had been that of an aggressive and unrelenting woman, but according to the pictures he was looking at, she was nothing at all like that. Instead of a severe expression full of hard lines and edges, the one that HAD to be Dan was sporting a brilliant, youthful grin that was equal parts menace and mirth and the joy of it reached her eyes. 

Nicky noticed his distraction and tapped on their faces with a leather gloved finger. “Dan, Rennee, and Allison. Dan’s the Queen- and rides Lynth. She’s good people, but she’s not Queen for nothing. She’ll work you to the bone, and you’ll thank her for it later. Allison’s a chatty bitch you should avoid at all costs- a green to her core. She’s riding Rey’na. Renee’s a sweetheart, with Kerla. Be nice to her.”

“Or else?” Neil asked, because he could hear it in Nicky’s tone. 

Nicky only smiled, and slid his finger across to a colored drawing, pointing to a brilliant silvery blue dragon as if that was all the answer he needed to give.

“Let’s go,” Kevin said, and reminded Neil of how eager he had been before he got distracted by the pretty room.

“Wait- I thought this key opened the gear closet?” Neil finally asked, moving to catch up. Kevin gave him a tired look.

“It does. The gear closet is past this door.” He said after a pause, as if he had been waiting for Neil to catch on.

“Does it work on both doors? Isn’t that unsafe? If someone can get in here, then they can get into the gear closet.” Neil pointed out. 

“Careful, your criminality is showing through.” Andrew grinned from across the room. “Locks aren’t all that common, are they? And anyway, the only ones who are stupid enough to try to break into a dragon’s keep are too eager weyrlings looking to coerce a dragon into taking them up on a flight, which they wouldn’t do.”

“That, or someone looking to tamper with the flying straps. And if they’re clever enough to think up that plan and pick the locks open to execute it, you’re better off relying on your dragon to catch you before you hit the ground anyway.” Kevin said as he moved to follow Andrew down the hall. Neil suddenly remembered that Kevin had broken his legs because he had been involved in an accident with faulty riding straps… and the only reason his life was saved was because his dragon had risked his life- and shredded his wing- to save Kevin. Having nothing to say, Neil swallowed hard and fell into step, following behind them silently.

Even if his first thought had been about how to evade the barriers that were separating something precious from the outside world, Neil couldn’t help but feel… strange. Not because he felt dirty for thinking about criminal activities first. It was because Wymack had given HIM the keys to him. Keys meant that Neil had explicit permission to be here and do what he liked. They meant he belonged- and was trusted.

They passed by three rooms, which Kevin pointed out as Wymack’s second office, Abby’s Healer office, and the Healer’s Den they were staying in. Neil has assumed that they were staying in the ample space provided in the infirmary but if this was here as well, protected behind a closed and locked door, he could understand why they would prefer it. He wondered, vaguely, if there were more hidden apartments dug into the rock of the volcano behind that door as well, but didn’t dare spend time asking. He didn’t care if they slept on stone cots lined with straw- he wanted to get on a dragon and up into the sky NOW.

At the end of the hall, there was a door on either side, each painted the same brilliant orange. One said LADIES while the other spelled LORDS. He wondered if it was supposed to be ironic, since dragon riders could not hold any land and earn such titles, nor keep them even if they inherited the lands at birth and were later Searched to Impress. Kevin moved into the lord’s room and Neil noted the bright orange cubicles lined with equipment and clothes, smelling heavily of leather and the distinct, somehow cinnamon and spice scent of dragons. He took a deep lungfull, excitement already growing. Smooth stone benches painted with strips of orange paired each cubicle and were painted with names. When he spotted K’holinth on one, Neil smirked a bit. Even in the changing areas, the riders were mounting their dragons, even if only in name alone. He wanted to explore more, but Kevin wasn’t slowing down as he moved out of another door down a short hallway. 

After a door, it opened up into a large room that was again full of low couches and cushions, though Neil noted that there were shelves that lined the walls full of Healer’s equipment. This was the initial receiving room for dragons and their riders injured during the Exy games and would serve as the initial receiving room for them when Thread started to fall as well- a semi-private space for the special breed of heroes to either recover from the initial ravages of Thread and flame or meet the awful cold of Between in the sacred companionship of their weyrmates. 

“Welcome to the foyer. I can’t rightly recall what it means, but I’m sure some smartass that came before us must have searched the word in the Records and thought it was clever.” Nicky grinned. Neil ignored him in favor of letting his eyes follow Andrew, who had thrown one leg over a bench to straddle it before digging out a vial with a corkscrew top similar to the one Wymack had had sitting on his desk. Aaron magicked out the bottle of wine, tossing it to Kevin, who exchanged it with Andrew for one of the pills. Neil watched as Kevin stored the pill, wondering if it would help with his legs, then frowned when Andrew settled one onto his own tongue, washing it down with a swig of wine that was far too large. 

As if this was something that happened all the time, Kevin motioned towards a door right next to the locker rooms. Neil remembered how the room curved just inside the changing rooms and could imagine the shape of it. “Gear closet.”

“Can we-?” Neil started, excitement mounting again. 

Kevin didn’t even let him finish before he started moving. “Bring your keys.”

Eager, Neil met him at the bright orange door, wondering what sort of rock or root they had cultivated to make such a brilliant color. His fascination with the color only lasted for as long as it took to unlock the second door and swing it open, though. As soon as the scent of leather and dragons in his nose, all other thoughts left his mind. He almost dove headfirst into the closet- and would have buried himself in the gear if Kevin hadn’t reached forward and held him back. “You’re small,” was what he said as way of explanation when Neil gave him an offended glare.

“I’m taller than them,” Neil immediately shot back, indignant as he pointed towards the twins. Aaron frowned, eyes narrow, but Andrew leaned back with a smirk, wine bottle tilting back again as he swallowed. 

“For your gear. You’re small. So i’m going to give you Weyrling armor. How tall?” Kevin wondered as he reached in and pulled out a pair of leather chaps, holding them up to Neil’s hips for a moment. “Taller than five feet?”

“Five foot five.” Neil grumbled, grabbing the leather and folding it over his arm. 

“Small,” Kevin reiterated as he pulled out shin guards, arm guards, and gloves. After a moment more, he handed over a thickly padded leather jacket, and shoulder guards. Neil frowned, but didn’t complain. He knew that Kevin was searching for the smallest sizes, but he wasn’t going to complain. “Shoe size?”

“Small,” Neil grumbled, and was only a little shocked that he earned a smirk before Kevin actually glanced down at his feet and paused. 

“Are your shoes made of cloth?” he asked, incredulous. Neil shifted uncomfortably now, and looked down at his feet again.

“Size five,” he said as he tried to change the subject. 

“He didn’t bring any others either. We’ll have to get him some boots.” Nicky pointed out, standing again and moving over towards them. 

“You would need special boots anyways.” Kevin said as he searched around inside the storage room, taking a while to find shoes small enough. Only when he had them did he move over towards Neil again and flip them over, showing the heavy metal soles. Neil had seen the soles of their boots were heavy and dark, but he didn’t know they were metal links, interlocked to allow flexibility but with a large rectangle recessed in the middle. “We use metal latches to secure our feet to the stirrups- they wont come undone until you push in the sides of the stirrup itself. I’ll show you when we’re ready.”

“I’m riding with you?” Neil had never even considered he would ride with a wing second- much less Kevin and his K’holinth! 

“You’ll fly beside me for Thread, too. Listen when I speak.” Kevin snapped impatiently before he handed over the heavy boots, then the belt. It was a thick, hard leather thing that had many buckles and straps and Neil recalled how Andrew had twisted in his saddle fearlessly just a couple of hours before. He did notice, however, that there was a strap for a thick, heavy dagger at the back of the belt, but it was still too small for the one that Andrew had pulled. Neil assumed that the knife at the belt was meant to cut away at the leather or straps if there was something wrong and they had to cut something free.

“Beside you?” Neil wondered if he could really make that distinction already, even if he was wing second.

“Andrew, will you let him borrow a spare tunic and trousers? His might fall apart before we even get off the ground.” Kevin said instead of answering, turning to the blond, but by then only Aaron was left, and he was heading on his way out towards the door. 

“Just have him throw them away once we’re done. We can at least let the drudges cut them up for dusting. He can get some sleeping robes while he’s in the baths and have a new set of drudge clothes ready before the new day.” shrugged the blond, already pulling his gloves on again.

Neil frowned down at his clothes, feeling dirty and destitute but refusing to give in to them. If they were going to throw away his clothes, he couldn’t really do anything about it, but he wished they didn’t just treat him like he was some dirty child. He knew he wasn’t the best kept, but he was at least hygienic. It was one thing his mother made sure to beat into him, among many others. “Are we going…?” he wondered hesitantly, shifting from foot to foot. 

“Get dressed.” He urged, motioning towards the dressing room. Before he could change his mind, Neil dashed off, too eager to get away from the conversation and to get out onto the field. Once he was back inside the changing rooms, though, he found himself at a loss. What was he going to do? There was no real place to hide, and he didn’t want to just change out in the open. It took him a moment to remember the stone sinks to the far side of the room and pressed his lips together, gathering himself up to move around the corner. He was disappointed that the showers were all open- one long line of showerhead along the wall with stone shelves built into the wall itself to allow for soap and other bathing materials. What was he going to do when everyone was there together?!

As fast as he could, he shoved on all of the gear, heart pounding as he waited to hear the door open. When it never did, he sighed in relief, then hurried back out- only for Kevin to frown down at him again, arms crossed. “Don’t you know how to do up your straps yet? I thought you used to ride? Didn’t you pay attention?” he frowned as he took another step forward, crowding in on Neil, who took an instinctive step back. Even with more than enough armour to protect him from thread, Neil’s whole body went cold with a sudden sweat.

“Kevin--” he tried, only to have Kevin grab his belt and keep him still, hands deftly working to tighten and buckle this or that strap, easily manipulating his gear with no regard whatsoever for his personal space. His long fingers worked against his buckles and dug against his skin, reminding him too much of his mother- of his father- until he couldn’t take it anymore. “Wait!” Almost panicked, Neil shoved Kevin away- or tried to. Instead, Kevin slapped his hands away and yanked him close again, green eyes boring into him.

“No,” Kevin demanded, voice steely and cold. “Nathaniel- Neil. You are going to be a dragon rider. Your father is exiled and his people will NEVER get you here. You’re SAFE, just like I’m SAFE here. Dragons protect each other- THESE dragons protect each other. So stop being scared, and let us take care of you and MAKE YOU who you should be.” 

“You can’t,” Neil felt himself struggling still, heart pounding as the image of the screaming man- the scent of his burnt flesh- the knowledge that he was a dragon rider- filled his mind. 

“We can, and we will, Neil. Thread is coming. Why would you even want to be anywhere else?” he snapped, voice so passionate that Neil flinched. 

“I don’t- but this… Kevin, my father’s people won’t stop. They’ll kill me- they’ll kill other people to get to me. What if those people at the Gather were killed just because they were looking for me?” Neil shook his head, trying to keep his voice quiet. 

“Then all you have to do is stay with us.” Andrew’s voice was nonchalant from behind him and Neil jumped harder than he wish he was capable of. Kevin frowned down at him, even as Andrew meandered around them, reaching up to grab Kevin’s hand and pull it away from Neil’s belt. “If you can survive, then you’ll be one of mine. And I keep my things.”

“That doesn’t… That doesn’t even make any sense.” Neil protested, frustrated by the roundabout riddles and too-good promises. Andrew didn’t say anything more to him, though, even as Kevin motioned for Neil to follow him. By the time they got out into the Weyr again, Andrew was nowhere to be seen and neither was his dragon, but Kevin just moved past, shoving a helmet and a large bag of what Neil KNEW was firestone, the phosphene bearing rock that dragons would chew to allow them to make flames. Usually, they had younger Weyrlings drop extra bags down to them mid-battle so that they wouldn’t have to keep landing to get more, but from what Neil understood, besides Kevin, everyone else here was still far too young to have known any other job outside of training. And even then, Kevin and his K’holinth were still quite young. If Kevin hadn’t Impressed so early and been training all his life, he would still be a Weyrling. Of course it was natural to think that they had to carry up their own firestone. 

“Andrew won’t fly…?” Neil wondered, looking around and seeing Aaron brush loving fingers over the eye ridges of a massive brown dragon nearly as big as K’holinth. But that beautiful blue was nowhere to be seen.

“He doesn’t fly for Exy.” was the only answer Kevin gave before he moved across the field to his own waiting dragon. “Greet him- he won’t tolerate you ignoring him again, especially if you expect to ride.”

“What?” Neil blinked in confusion, eyes flickering between Kevin and the huge bronze beast. 

“Greet my dragon. Don’t you remember your Harper songs?” The green eyed man snapped, and the low rumble from the massive beast made Neil far too aware of all of the other eyes that bore down on him now, all the eyes of dragons- all whirling and waiting to see what he would do. 

“I’m sorry…” Neil swallowed hard, trying to recall the rhyme all children were taught. No matter what, though, it just wouldn’t come to mind! How was he supposed to remember something like that when he was just threatened less than an hour ago with being eaten by one of these things- then sworn that he would be protected by the same people?!

We would not eat you, Neil-- came a humored voice that sounded so deep inside his mind, he was sure his skull was rattling just from the sound of it… but it also… sounded a lot like Nicky, somehow… Only, distinctly feminine. Neil whipped his head around to the green dragon, and saw her incline her head. Then, the resonance came again -- Well, perhaps we would not. I will not speak for Yardith.

“What?” Neil didn’t know if that was supposed to be a joke or not, but this voice- coming from something outside of his control- reminded him of the reverberating sounds from the Gather earlier that day. Were these dragons talking- to him?!

Why do we waste time talking to him? Clearly, he is either too slow to process our words and cannot respond in time, or he just cannot hear us at all. Either way, it is a waste of time. -- This voice came out so condescending that Neil couldn’t help but whip his head back around to K’holinth.-- Oh…? Perhaps he really is just a bit slow to respond?

Bow your head and beg ‘how do’. This is what good Weyrlings do.-- came a voice that was so similar to Andrew’s near manic sing-song from before that Neil felt fear creep up inside as he remembered the mirrored expression on his blue. Where WAS Andrew?

To Gold and Green, Blue, Green- Bronze, too-- a too similar voice vibrated to add to the song in his head, though it was distinct enough for Neil to know that it had to be Aaron’s dragon. The huge brown dipped his head in acknowledgement and Neil wondered briefly what it said that Aaron’s dragon was just as insane as Andrew’s. -- And ask how well the Queen does do.

Ask for the news from Fort and Weyr, and beg good tidings for those held dear.-- The cheerful Green finished up helpfully. By the end of it, all the dragons had spoken to him and Neil felt the Firestone threaten to plummet from his arms. He could hear them- ALL OF THEM.

“Well?” Kevin snapped at him irritably, hands on his hips as he continued to wait. Numb all over, Neil felt himself bend at the hips, head bowed low over his bag of porous rock. 

“H-How do… K’holinth…?” Neil wasn’t at all sure that was how he was supposed to say it, but having a whole score of dragons literally sing a nursery rhyme to him was more than reprimand enough. The large bronze gave a low rumble, slowly snaking his long neck around until one of his massive eyes could take in Neil’s entire body curiously. 

I fare well, Neil. How do you? -- K’holinth asked, though the mirth in his voice… mind… headvoice…? Whatever it was, he didn’t sound as if he really cared. 

“I’m fine--” Neil started, only to earn a snort from the dragon and a flick of his tail.

If you are going to speak lies, do not speak to me at all, child. Mount, and learn proper respect before you try again.-- K’holinth chided him, earning a grin from Kevin, who seemed to think the antic was worth an affectionate pat. 

“I told you he would be irritated. Really, for as much as you claim to like dragons, you don’t have any respect for them at all. You all but ignore them, but you seem to have no problem riding. Whenever you meet a dragon, you should always, always show them proper respect. Meet a dragon first making sure to speak out loud, ask them how they are, then introduce yourself to their rider. And don’t just say ‘Hi, my name is Liar McNeil’ and move on. Treat them like real people- they ARE real people.” Kevin schooled him, already hooking a foot into the stirrup to produce that same clicking sound Neil remembered hearing before when Andrew mounted. He could hardly pay attention to that, though, because he was too busy reeling at the idea that all of the dragons had carried on an entire conversation with him! And Kevin clearly hadn’t heard!

Quickly, child-- K’holinth urged him, and Neil jerked forward. 

“Sorry,” he said, though he didn’t know who he was sorry to. Quickly, he bowed all around to the brown and green- and off in another direction where he hoped the blue was. 

“It’s nice to meet you all. I should have introduced myself before. I’m…” Now, Neil paused. K’holinth had gotten so upset with him earlier. He didn’t know what to say now- if he lied and they all got mad, too..

Neil, child of Mary-- supplied the green with a laugh that was shockingly audible. And it sounded just like Nicky’s easy laugh, the only difference being the musical and decidedly feminine quality. If Dragon’s could laugh like that- could they talk out loud as well?! And, if they could carry on a conversation like this with him in his mind, could they also READ his mind?!

“Neil…” He struggled to continue, forcing himself back on topic. He couldn’t get all worked up now- not when he had been the one being rude. “Yea…”

Pathetic-- laughed Andrew’s blue somewhere off in the distance, causing a blush to burn on his cheeks when K’holinth chuckled as well. 

We are Hemmi, Ardanth, K’holinth and Yardith-- the green dragon continued amiably and Neil simply KNEW that she was ordering them as Nicky’s, Aaron’s, Kevin’s and Andrew’s, even if he wasn’t sure how. -- We are so happy you’re finally safe. We promised Mary that her child would be a rider of dragons no matter how difficult it would be for him to fly.

Neil’s stomach bottomed out again, even as Kevin beckoned him closer and showed him how to strap on the firestone bag before showing him exactly how to shove his foot into the stirrup and how he could grab onto a ridge on the dragon’s side to pull himself up and swing his leg over the saddle, positioning his legs forward and at an angle so that he wasn’t in too much pain. WHY would it be difficult for him to fly?! If he was supposed to be a dragon rider, what would make it so hard to fly- dragons had already promised him he could be a rider!

You don’t even know where you’re going so how do you expect your dragon to take you there? -- Came Yardith’s singing trill, thoroughly amused. -- That is why it will be hard for you to fly. If you make the mistake of not giving your dragon a clear and precise destination, you will both be stuck Between. Forever.

Neil went numb as Kevin buckled his straps into place and showed him how to properly sit in the training saddle, then how to reach over and grab large chunks of stone to pass forward. When Kevin’s gloved fingers suddenly grabbed his cheeks, sinking them in and hurting him until he snapped out of it, he flinched back, blinking hard. “Pay attention.” Kevin snapped, and a mirrored half-barking sound clipped from K’holinth, sending a cold harsher than even Between through his lungs. Still, he nodded as best he could and forced his eyes to follow the lesson even if his mind didn’t. As excited as he had been to finally get up on a dragon again, the next few hours passed by far too quickly, and he was back on his own two feet before he knew it, too distracted to even heed Kevin’s rant until the green eyed man shoved him hard and pointed towards the changing rooms. “Get off my training grounds!”

"Already?" He asked, dread filling his gut as he watched Nicky and Aaron take their dragons between. He didn't even remember seeing them breathe fire, though his stinging cheeks told him he must have. 

"You're not paying attention! When you ride a dragon, your whole mind should be focused on listening to and following instructions from your Weyrleader, your wingleader, and your dragon! If you can't do that because you're too AFRAID, you don't have any place here to begin with!" Kevin snapped, and Neil knee he was right. But how could he not be terrified? Somehow, all these years he had thought of dragons so differently… and here was proof that they weren't just intelligent- humanly intelligent- they depended so dearly on their connection with their riders to lead them and protected and loved their riders so much… and here he was, the son of a criminal with a possible egg on the hatching ground- a dragon that would depend on him to protect and guide it- and all he could think about was running away! Kevin got right up in his face then, and Neil heard the sound of a dragon appearing from or going through Between. Briefly, Neil wondered if Nothing could have a sound. If so, it was the loudest sound he had ever heard, and deafened him to go Between like that, so filled with it. Since he could still see the bronze K'holinth out of the corner of his eye, he wondered who had arrived. He tried to back away from Kevin, but the taller man grabbed his helmet, keeping him close. Neil probably could have pulled away if he tried, but he didn't think Kevin would go easy on him if he did.

"If you won't fly with me, you'll fly for me," Kevin said. "You're never going to get there on your own, so give your flight to me." 

"Where is 'there'?" Neil asked, remembering what Yardith said. 

"If you can't figure that out there's no helping you," Kevin said. Neil gazed back at him in silence, pretty sure 'there' didn't apply to someone like him. Kevin must have seen that in the incredulous look on his face because he reached up and covered Neil's eyes with his free hand. 

"Forget the training ground," Kevin said. "Forget the Foxes and your useless fear and your family. See it the only way it really matters, where flying Thread is the only road to take. What do you see?" Imagining life in such simplistic terms was so ridiculous Neil almost laughed. He kept the vicious twist of his mouth off his face through sheer willpower alone. Something still must have shown though, because Kevin gave his helmet a hard tug. 

"Focus." Neil tried to picture the world as if Neil Josten was really all there ever had been and would be. It was almost enough to make him despise the persona when he could see it in such easy terms, but he swallowed that distaste and turned his mental gaze toward the red star. Had his life ever really been his, or had it been pulling him to this point? Flying dragons was the only bright point of his shattered childhood. 

He remembered his mother bringing him to the weyr bowls far away from their Ruatha hold, traveling days to where no one knew his father and the dragons would actually let him fly. He remembered her cheering for him as if their every move and word wasn't scrutinized by sword wielding bodyguards. The memories were fragmented and dreamlike, distorted by the bloody reality of his father's work, but he clung to them. They were the only times he'd ever seen his mother smile. Neil didn't know how long he played with the dragons then, but his legs remembered the heavy leather and blankets of the saddle- his nose remembered the spicy scent of dragonhide it did that of a newly sharpened blade cutting into the flesh of a herdbeast or the sound of metal slicing through bone and gristle. 

That thought was sobering, as it put him right back to square one and the fact that Neil Josten was a fleeting existence. It was cruel to even dream he could stay like this, but Kevin had escaped, hadn't he? Somehow he'd left that bloody room behind at Edgar Allen and become this, and Neil wanted the same so bad he could taste it. 

"Dragons," Neil said at last. Kevin pulled at his helmet again, and this time Neil bowed his head and let him take it off. 

"Tell me I can have your flight ." It wouldn't do them any good, but Neil wasn't going to get into that. 

"Take it." 

"Neil understands," Kevin said, dropping his hand and sending Andrew a pointed look. Neil only just realized that it was him who had landed, though he didn't bother discounting. 

"Congratulations are in order, I suppose! Since I have none to give, I will tell the others to respond appropriately." Andrew pushed himself back on his saddle to make room for Neil and he realized that he still didn't have the training saddle Kevin had K'holinth dawn. Instead he put the folded blanket back in place and gave it a pat. 

"Neil! Hello. We meet again." Grinned Andrew, but the chuckle belonged to Yardith.

"We met earlier," Neil said. "If this is another trick, just let it go." Neil didn't think he had the patience for riddles anymore. 

Andrew grinned at him around the mouth of his bottle- he was still drinking the Benden wine and it was nearly half gone- before tossing it back down to Kevin. "Don't be so suspicious. You saw me take my medicine. If I hadn't, I'd be keeled over somewhere by now puking from the withdrawal. As it is, I might puke from all the fanaticism going around." 

"He's high," Kevin told Neil. "He tells me when he's sober, so I always know. How did you figure it out?" 

"They're twins, but they're not the same." Neil lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "One of them hates your obsession with Threadfall while the other couldn't care less." Kevin looked to Andrew, but Andrew only had eyes for Neil. 

Andrew took a second to process those words before he started laughing, eerily echoed by his dragon. "He's a comedian, too? A dragonman and a comic and a butcher. How multitalented. What a grand addition to the Fox first wing. I can't wait to find out what else he can do. Perhaps we should throw a talent show and find out? But later. Kevin, we're going. Let him go." Kevin handed Neil his helmet back and gave him a firm shove towards Andrew.

"Going? Up? But he's high," Neil protested, too slow to try to turn and run when a huge blue tail curled around him, breaking off all routes of escape. 

Didn't Hemmi say we would not eat You? Why are you so scared…? -- teased the dragon. 

"Hemmi said she couldn't speak for you," Neil reminded him, and the large blue laughed in Andrew's voice again.

True, but Andrew said that you would be his-- the dragon was the one to remind Neil this time and the affection for his rider was so earnest it made Neil shiver as it vibrated in the back of his mind. All you have to do now is let go of your fear, little one. Even if I was to devour you, it would not be unpleasant. Many men would happily bow to the whim of a dragon such as I.

"Are you talking to Yardith?" Kevin demanded, moving forward and leaning over the massive tail. Neil felt his knees threaten to buckle as the thick blue appendage swept him forward, until Andrew preached down and started to pull him up. 

"He talked to me first!" Neil protested, unable to get a foothold because there was no second set of stirrups. 

"And Hemmi, too?" Andrew asked, grin too wide as he moved the other cushion between them. This time he strapped it into place, but didn't attach Neil's riding straps. Fear gripped Neil's chest as he dared twist around to look into his eyes. 

"She spoke to me first…" Neil tried to explain, knowing he hardly sounded believable. Dragons didn't talk to people- people couldn't HEAR dragons.

"Can you hear them all?! Neil, can you talk to tall the dragons?!" Kevin asked, voice oddly strained as his irritation rose, even as Yardith pushed him back with his tail and started to walk forward, putting space between them. 

"It seems like you're still having a hard time believing in us, Nathaniel. And you for sure don't trust us." Neil could feel Andrews hands on his belt, and hoped that the blue rider was strapping him in. Compulsively, he gripped the ridge just in front of him, until Andrew slapped his hand away again. "Don't touch my dragon."

"Andrew, please--" he started, only for Yardith to leap forward and Andrew to growl almost as consciously as a dragon himself.

"Don't you EVER beg me!" Snapped the smaller man behind Neil, and he knew his life was over. "Dragon men beg no one! Dragon men TRUST their dragons- their wing, and their Weyr! If you can't trust us, you don't belong with us! If you want to run so bad, then run!" By now, they were so far up in the sky, Neil could feel that they were about to pass through a cloud. Then, Yardith started to tilt upwards. 

"No… Andrew, don't do this--!" Neil tried to grab the ridge as he felt his butt leave the seat, and when Andrew slapped his hand away again, he tried to grab hold of Andrew's arm. Then, he felt the world flip upside down and Andrew was ALL he could hold on to. 

"Shut up!!" Andrew growled viciously as Yardith somehow maintained his upside down position. Neil only then realized he had been yelling and tried to reach up with his other hand to grab at Andrew. The dragon rider pulled his knife again- and this time Neil saw that it came from the sleeve of his black leather riding jacket and was much longer and sharper than Neil first thought in the hatching ground. 

"No, Andrew!" Neil pleaded, fingers white knuckled as he tried to hang on. He didn't dare look down.

"Don't touch me!!" Andrew yelled back, peeling Neil's fingers off with the blade. Then Neil felt the blade start to dig into his glove, but not cut, he had to wonder if maybe the gloves were so heavy because they had some sort of thin, flexible metal coating inside that prevented thread from penetrating… but that thought only lasted long enough to realize that he was now down to one hand.

"I'll fall!! Andrew, I'm gonna fall!!" Neil pleaded, though he was sure that was why Andrew was doing this in the first place. 

"Are you a dragon man or not?! Can't you just talk to dragons, and tell Yardith to come and get you?!" Andrew snapped. Terrified, Neil tried to hold on as tightly as possible, even as Yardith started to spiral again, going too fast for gravity to take its hold and send him back to the saddle.

"I don't know how!! I don't know how to talk to them- sometimes I can't even hear them- Andrew, don't DO this!! I have to- I have to survive till hatching!!" Neil tried, reaching to grab a hold of his hand again, but Andrew punched his forearm hard, easily numbing his fingers and making his arm useless. 

"Then TRUST me! Throw away your fears and trust that dragon men- that Foxes protect each other!" Andrew scrawled, using his knife to pry at Neil's last remaining fingers. 

"I'll fall!!" Neil pleaded one last time, feeling his grip break. Andrew continued to grip his forearm, though, and Yardith banked upside down again, this time riding another pocket of air. 

"Trust me or die." Was all Andrew said before finally letting go.

Neil felt the scream lurch free from his lungs before he could stop it, his arms flailing helplessly as he reached for the black leather armor that would save him. A thunderous chuckle vibrated the air around him as he watched Yardith- almost in slow motion- flip over midair and tuck his wings until he could swivel his neck so that he was face to face with Neil, an arrow pointing straight down. -- Trust me or die.

"HOW?!" Neil cried, shaking his head and trying his best to reach up for some- any- hold! Yardith opened his wings just enough to fall slower than Neil and move away from him. 

Don't you think I can catch you?-- smirked the dragon.

"If you can, why won't you?! I'm going to die!!" Even falling to his death, Neil couldn't help hut be snappy. He hated his father for his temper. 

You haven't told me where to go yet. HOW can I catch you if you won't tell me where you're falling TO?-- Yardith sounded completely reasonable as he watched Neil falling. But Neil could see the ground rapidly approaching in those huge eyes- could see the lights from the glowbaskets racing up to meet them.-- Ahh, but wouldn't you see your destination easier if you turned around?

Neil couldn't stop the tail from whipping out, slamming into him hard enough to bruise and sending him spinning. He thought he would get sick, but fear must have somehow clenched his body so tightly, nothing could get out but another scream. Still, Yardith must have had perfect aim because when he finally did stop spinning he had turned around and was facing the ground. Only… it wasn't as close as it had seemed in Yardith's eyes. It was quickly approaching that distance, but Neil still had time! If Yardith could somehow move to be underneath him-- if that maddeningly playful dragon just chose the whim of ducking or diving or even flashing between to get under Neil at just the right placement, Neil would fall right back into his saddle and be saved!

Trust me-- half sang the crazy dragon in his mind, and Neil knew he had no choice. 

The hard jolt of landing in the saddle jarred Neil so much that he bit his tongue. Almost immediately, he scrambled to lock his legs as tight to the saddle as possible, fingers gripping the crest in front of him for only a moment before he remembered he wasn't supposed to touch. Panicking, he grabbed the front of the saddle instead, just in time to feel Andrew leaning forward. "You gave your flight to Kevin. Once you impress, give your life to me. Trust me, and trust Yardith." 

"If I impress," Neil breathed out, shaking from head to toe. 

"Are you a Fox or not?" Andrew asked as he reached forward to grip the crest, just as Yardith started to rise again. Neil felt his stomach drop. 

"If I impress," he repeated, and though it was the same answer, Andrew seemed to understand. Maybe being high made him crazy- and maybe he was so crazy that being high mellowed him out. Either way, Andrew wasn't dumb, and Yardith was completely sober. If they thought they could protect Neil like this- save his life even against impossible odds…? Yardith reached his desired height and started to flip again. Neil gripped the saddle and tightened his legs as much as he could.

"Let go." Andrew demanded, hands on his belt again. When Neil didn't immediately relent, he shoved hard, and Neil flipped head over heels, stopped only by the grip Andrew suddenly had on his forearm again. Panick forced Neil's fingers to compulsively grip again. "Don't touch me." 

The knife was out again, and Neil fought hard with himself to keep holding on. He only lasted until the knife got within an inch. At this, Andrew grinned, and Yardith flipped back over, until Neil was settled in his saddle again. Really, he thought he was going to have a heart attack!!

"When you're on the back of a dragon, the worst thing you can do is panic and forget where you are and who you're with. You must trust your wing, your wingleader, and your dragon with your life. Even if you're falling to your death with Thread raining down around you." Andrew said casually. 

"That's going to be hard for me," Neil admitted, fingers gripping the saddle again. 

"So the dragons say. But, that's why I'm here." Andrew was smiling again, and Yardith was slowly banking around the bowl of the Weyr. "You need to trust me. Relax your body. When you're in a proper saddle, your riding straps will always protect you as long as you make sure they're well maintained and in good condition. They will keep you safe from falling. But if you get tangled in them and have to cut yourself free, or if thread eats through them, then you have to trust your dragon to catch you when you fall. Either way, though, the worst thing you can do is tense up. When you go stiff, you stop thinking. You panic. And worst of all, you make it harder for your muscles to mold and protect your bones, making a break easier. If you fall with faulty straps, for example, and your legs are locked up then you'll break them. And when you break them, you feel pain. When you feel pain, your dragon panics. When they panic, you panic, and if you're lucky, the best that will happen is you falling to the ground and landing in a horrible heap with multiple broken bones."

"Is that what happened to Kevin?" Neil wondered. 

"Yes, but he wasn't tied using riding straps. Remember his broken legs if it helps you not tense up this time." Andrew shrugged, just as Yardith started another lazy spiral.


	4. Adjusting to the Weyr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil has a difficult time his first full day in the Weyr. If this is what life is going to be like, will he be able to survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one starts out with a scene in the shower and there is some mention of scars. If that bothers you, please be aware that it is there. Also, Yardith and Andrew really put Neil through the ringer in this one, too.
> 
> Thanks for reading all this- I didn't expect anyone to read this at all, so I really appreciate you guys!

It was easier said than done, and in the end it took the better part of two and a half hours for Neil to 'fall' correctly and calmly envision where he wanted Yardith to go to catch him midair. By the time they landed, his fingers were swollen and numb from gripping the saddle, his voice was broken and raw from screaming, and every muscle in his body ached from tensing them so hard for so long. He noticed his gloves, too, were shredded and tattered from where Andrew had peeled his fingers away. 

Kevin was still in the showers when they arrived and Neil heard water running as he set his helmet and gloves on a bench in the changing room, fully intending to have a long wait. "We're not taking you by Abby's like that," Kevin said, and Neil wondered how he heard him enter- then remembered his metal soled boots. "Wash up." 

"I won't shower with someone else," Neil said. "I'll wait, and if you don't want to wait on me, just go on ahead. I'll find my way there from here." It couldn't be too hard- if the Den was just down the hall.

"Why? Is showering with other men going to be a problem for you?" Andrew asked. 

Neil didn't like the look of his manic smile, but he liked Andrew's veiled warning less. "It's not about men. It's about my privacy." 

Kevin poked his head from around the corner and Neil saw his wet hair and bare shoulders as he snapped his fingers at Neil. "Get over it. You can't be shy if you're going to be a rider and even holders’ sons don’t get their own private baths." 

Andrew leaned toward Kevin and put a hand to his mouth, but he didn't bother to lower his voice. "He has to hide his ouches, Kevin. I heard from a Harper that the Master Butcher sometimes used him as a cutting board. Bruises, you think, or scars? I think scars, too. Can't be bruises if his parents aren't around to beat him, right?" 

Neil felt cold all over. "What did you just say?" 

"I don't care," Kevin said to Andrew, ignoring Neil. 

Andrew, in turn, ignored Kevin and gestured at Neil. "Showers are communal here, and if we’re being honest, this is the most private one we have. The other is open to all the weyr, families and all. Dragonriders have nothing to hide from each other and we're going to see your scars soon anyway. Yardith says you think we'll shun you for them. That you don't trust us to still want you when we see them. See for yourself if you don't believe me. You don't believe me, do you? I know you don't. That's probably for the best."

After the endless hours of being dropped and caught midair, Neil knew that if Andrew wanted to prove his point, he would. This was a trust issue. Something they had just worked on. Still, it made Neil sick inside to think about. If the dragons could read every thought he had, what good was it to hide…? Still, his fingers trembled as he tossed the empty firestone bag in the basket meant for its recycle and reuse. "What about you? You don't trust anyone to even touch you, so how can you say you'll accept me?"

Andrew gave him another smile before reaching up and unbuckling his shoulder armor, hanging it at one of the cubbies before unbuttoning his leather jacket and loosened his arm guards and set them beside his already discarded helmet and gloves. He kept eye contact with Neil the whole time, even when Kevin grunted and went back to his own shower. "I don't have any problem with people looking at me, Neil." Andrew said his name like it was a lie, and Neil shivered, wishing he could stop staring. Even if they were a whole room away from each other, it felt like Andrew was as close as Yardith had been hours before, when he was staring straight down, his whirling eyes teasing him- daring him to make a move. 

When the black leather jacket came off next, Neil swallowed hard, seeing the thick white cotton tunic underneath, held in place by the riding belt that made fitted straps loop tight patterns that would secure a rider’s whole torso in place. Buckle after buckle was loosed, the sound of metal and leather coupling with the sounds of the showers and making Neil's heart race. He tried not to jump with Aaron pulled it off, hanging it beside his shoulder armor and jacket. The boots came next, the laces loosened just enough for Andrew to step out of before the chaps followed, their buckles and laces going too easily for Neil's comfort. He tried to look away then, but Andrews blue eyes were mesmerizing and he was frozen in place as the tunic was pulled over his head. 

Andrew was pale, and his build was more chorded than thin, but even Neil could tell that the thin, fitted cotton shirt underneath his tunic wasn't just for insulation. He half turned his body as if that would make his eyes follow but he was unable to as Andrew peeled the shirt off. It wasn't that Andrew was covered with scars- he really didn't have that many to show off- but as he half turned as well, Neil could tell that they had been done TO him rather than be accidental or self inflicted. At least, the thickly curving lines up and down his back and shoulders, anyways. And the curious twists at his hips, diving down into his pants. Neil didn't want to think about how old those were, nor how Andrew must have gotten them, but his mind was forced to race as his eyes flickered to the black bands on Andrews forearms. Casually, Andrew reached underneath them and pulled out twin daggers- the same long, shame devils he had shown off in the hatching ground. Suddenly, Neil understood where Andrew had them hidden, and then the blond set them aside and peeled off the elastic bands (no doubt expensive and custom made) Neil felt his stomach roll. 

These scars WERE self inflicted. The jagged criss crosses and deep pits looked as if Andrew had been trying to carve himself to the bone. "We all have scars, dragonrider." Came the playful whisper as Andrew reached for the laces of his trousers. This time, Neil took a step back as if to put distance between them, even if his eyes couldn't be forced to look away. By the time Andrew had dropped the thick cotton to the floor, Neil thought he would go faint. The curving lines at Andrews hips dipped down his pelvis and between his legs, some even curving around his thighs. No mine Hold accident could do that- and to make such long, continuous marks… Neil forced his eyes back up, only thankful Andrew hadn't actually been castrated. 

Andrew was standing, arms out wide and smile too broad to be any sort of comfort. "Don't you trust me yet?" 

"Andrew…" Neil tried, but the blond was already turning to gather his towels and showering things. Neil saw his back fully now, and verified that the scars curved around his entire body. Ironically, the seemed to follow the curves of Andrew's body naturally, and might have even been called pretty, if Neil didn't know how much they hurt. 

"Don't make me come undress you," was all the warning he got before Andrew rounded the corner to join Kevin. 

Neil battled with himself, trying hard not to shake as he peeled his own clothes off, his numb mind somehow running just enough to wonder what he was going to wear after his shower if his clothes were going to be thrown away. Luckily, Andrew wasn't done by the time Neil had drawn enough courage to step into the shower room, having found the spare towels, soap, and sponge rocks for scrubbing. Kevin was almost done, though, and paused as the shower ran the last of the soap down his own fit form. Neil noted that Kevin had scars as well, but most of then looked very menial and the majority like burns- probably from training. The only prominent ones were three that Neil knew were arrow punctures in his torso that looked like someone was playing with hitting his heart, and the angry, twisting strips circling his legs. Neil knew those marks, too, and wondered who besides the butcher had such thin metal cutting wires just before he remembered Andrew admitting that Kevin hadn't been strapped onto his dragon by his flying straps. 

Neil wasn't the only one who was staring, though. He noticed, uncomfortably, that both Kevin and Andrew had stopped their bathing to look him over as well. He shifted from foot to foot and felt like maybe he should cover up with the towel. “Trust me.” Andrew demanded, and Neil froze, grip on the basket tightening. “Come here.” 

It was the longest ten feet of his life, but Neil finally stopped just in front of Andrew, letting the blond reach over and take the basket from him, leaving him bare with nothing to hide behind at all. He thought he would be braced for the rejection- for the judgement. But when it never came and Andrew kept that lazy grin on his face as his intense blue eyes studied every mark, Neil couldn’t take it. He took a step back, and tried to turn around, but Kevin was standing there as well, still studying him for a brief moment before turning around so casually, it was as if nothing at all had happened! But that couldn’t be it! Neil was NOT OKAY! Why were they treating this like it was normal?!

The hand in his hair made him jump and turn his attention back to Andrew, forcing him close again so that he had no choice but to regain the step back he had taken. “Stay.” Andrew ordered, and Neil froze, forcing his eyes anywhere but on Andrew as he was inspected. The scars started at the base of his throat as a looping scar that curved down over his collarbone. A pucker with jagged edges matched the three arrow wounds Kevin had, only a finger width away. Neil could still remember the feel of the arrow head tip that his mother had to dig out, sitting with a knee on either of his small shoulders to force him still. The blood was so hot and he had been bound and gagged so that he couldn’t struggle or cry out- he thought he would drown on his own screams that day, as muffled as they were. A shapeless patch of skin from his left shoulder to his navel marked where he had fallen from a dragon over a shell covered beach and torn himself raw on the jagged edges. Faded scars criss crossed here and there from blades of various sizes, just as deep as Andrew’s, though none of them had been self inflicted. Stupid accidents, desperate escapes, and conflicts with less than savory Shunned were his demons. Along his abdomen were larger overlapping lines from confrontations with his father’s people while on the run, and were mirrored all over his back. His right shoulder sported the perfect outline of half a hot iron. 

He DID remember the dragon riders and harpers that had come to ask after his father’s business then. Something he said… or did… or maybe even didn’t do… Hell, maybe that had even been the day the dragon riders came and Searched for him, for all he knew. Whatever the cause, his father had been so angry at him that as soon as they left he had turned to snatch the hot brick from his mother and aimed for Neil. He could still remember the small- the sight- of his skin peeling off with the metal as his mother screamed for his father to stop. He swallowed hard, wishing Andrew would SAY SOMETHING. 

“You’re not going to ask?” Neil finally broke the silence, and Andrew’s fingers loosened in his hair, his fingers lazily shoving Neil’s face towards the showerheads.

“Clean up. We can’t take you to Abby’s unless you’re clean.” was Andrew’s response, and somehow, that was almost too much. Before his eyes could fill with tears of frustration- or anger- or sadness- he turned on the shower, and took his basket from Andrew. Silence reigned as Andrew busied himself with his own cleaning, and he said nothing when he finally turned off the water and dried himself off, leaving Neil to himself. Neil stayed in until he was sure he thoroughly clean, knowing that his whole body would be pink for hours from the way he had scrubbed over and over again. It had been weeks since he had had a proper bath, after all, even if he made sure to get clean regardless of how long he was traveling outside of Hold or Hall. The water and soap felt too good, and he couldn’t help but wash his hair twice. He was even able to find some mint and a toothbrush he could use and felt absolutely pampered. He was just lucky he didn’t grow facial hair- the last thing he wanted was to have to shave on top of it all. Still, he felt like an entirely new man as he finally turned the water off and dried himself off.

He did take the time to look into the mirrors lining the far wall, though, and was thankful that though the color in his hair did fade, it didn’t lighten up all the way. The Sightroot around his eyes would have to be reapplied, too, but it wouldn’t be too hard. He had plenty of dye and sightroot pulp in his bag back at Wymack’s… and now that he had actually met and SPOKE to dragons, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to actually sleep in the same room as one. Maybe… 

“Finally.” Andrew grumbled when Neil stepped out, towel wrapped around his shoulders like a robe. 

“I don’t have any other clothes…” As Neil suspected, the pathetic excuse for clothing he had worn before were already gone, but Andrew held up a rather large bundle for him as soon as he was close enough. 

“Tomorrow, you have to go to Headwoman Darbi and get new clothes and measurements. She’ll outfit you, and send your measurements to the weaver crafthall to get you riding gear.” Andrew explained, reaching over to grab the towel and shove the clothes at Neil. Briefly, Neil wondered if Andrew didn’t just want to look and see him naked, but when Andrew turned and hung the towel in a nearly empty cubbie, he frowned. 

“I can’t let her see me like this,” Neil protested, even if he did follow Andrew curiously, noticing the pair of simple boots that sat in the bottom of the cubicle as well as the riding gear he had just taken off. Was that supposed to be his? 

“Then come get me and I’ll do it. No one has to touch you but me.” Andrew said simply.

“I’m not your property,” Neil snapped back at that, immediately rankled at the possessive nature Andrew was showing. Blue eyes snapped up to him at that, though, then slowly trailed down his entire body before flickering back up.

“You trust me.” Andrew said it like it was fact, and Neil remained silent, jaw clenched. “You will. And once you’re Impressed, you’ll be mine.”

“I’m not something to possess.” Neil frowned. Andrew’s eyes darted back to the clothes, and his lazy smile said volumes.

“You gave me your life.” Again, it was a simple statement of fact. 

“Don’t you already have Kevin? You and Nicky don’t seem too loyal- I heard he had a weyrmate already, too. Isn’t that what they’re called?” Neil frowned as he set down his bundle and started to get dressed. He felt too exposed with Andrew darting his eyes up and down like that. He hurried even faster when he felized Andrew was leaning against the cubicle, watching. 

“Weyrmate means a lot of things. Could be boyfriends. Could be roommates who happen to live in the Weyr. Could be someone from the same family or weyr who’ve never met. But that’s irrelevant. You gave your life to me. That means once you’re Impressed, you’re mine.” Andrew finally drawled when Neil had his cotton undergarments on, the soft, dark grey pants that laced up at his shins and then again at his sides so that they could fit regardless of his skinny he might be. His black tunic matched, with long sleeves and a circle collar, all trimmed in a simple dark grey thread that matched his pants. Andrew had given him a pair of simple black sandals to match, and he stepped into them before he dared to answer, realizing only once he had that he was wearing something very similar to Andrew now.

“If I Impress.”

“Are you going to run away?” Andrew asked, stepping forward and reaching up to Neil, brushing his hand through his still damp hair and reaching around to the back of his neck. The grip there reminded Neil of his whisper just outside of the hatching grounds and he swallowed hard.

“No.”

“How curious… You’re still a mystery,” Andrew smiled, his blue eyes sparkling as he leaned even closer. Neil’s skin crawled, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what Andrew wanted. 

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” grinned the blond before he slipped past Neil, fingers trailing down his shoulder as he did so, though he never looked back. “I need a new toy to play with.”

“I’m not a toy.”

“I guess we’ll see,” was all Andrew said, and Neal frowned as he turned to follow, sparing one last glance back to his cubbie. His dragon’s name hadn’t been painted onto the bench, but the longer he stayed there, the more he hoped it would be- feared it would be. 

\-----

Abby’s Den wasn’t even a five minute walk down the hall, and by the time they arrived, Weyrleader Wymack and Abby had already started to set the large low table while Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin bustled around to help. It was… curious… to see, and Neil could only freeze where he was. He knew that he should move- should do or say something- but he had never seen something so… homey… before in his life. Immediately, he was grateful he didn’t have to stay with them, even if this place was three times as spacious as Weyrleader Wymack’s apartments. Immediately after that, though, he felt a familiar fear of what would happen when he was expected to return there later that night. 

Before Andrew could even reach out to tug at the front of Neil’s tunic to make him follow farther into the spacious rooms as if he just knew Neil would freeze up, bickering broke out. Neil only vaguely paid attention to what was said as Andrew pointed to a cushion and shoved him towards it. Thinking it was a shame he wouldn't be able to do anything to help, Neil bit his bottom lip and looked around, too nervous with people walking around behind and around him. Andrew also sat down on the other end of the table, though, and was starting to carefully set out eating utensils and bowls that had been nearly lined at the far end of the table for everyone. Copying him after a moment, Neil got his end set, careful to be aware of the vast amounts of food Abby and Wymack were setting out in the center.

“Can’t you two behave when we’ve got a guest at least?” Abby asked, setting a large spoon into a bowl of soup and settling down to finally look between Neil and Andrew.

Weyrleader Wymack threw a curious clance around the room. “I don’t see any guests. Neil’s a Fox. He’s not going to get any special treatment just because it’s his first day. Don’t want him thinking this wing is anything but dysfunctional or the hatching will be a rude wake-up call.”

“If you dare give us a repeat of last hatching--” Abby started, attention back on Andrew, who only smiled happily.

“Then Bee will be there to pick up the pieces.” he interrupted easily. “She did so well when Matt came, didn’t she? Neil won’t even be a mark on her parchment. You did invite her, didn’t you?”

“I invited her, but she declined. She thought it would make things awkward.” Abby admitted, sighing.

“Things can’t be anything but awkward when Andrew and Nicky are around,” the Weyrleader said with exasperation. Andrew, for his part, only remained silent and smiled across at Neil. 

“Bee is what the dragons call the specialized HarperHealer, the psychiatrist. She used to work with the special exile island for youths who can’t be controlled down in Southern. Now, she’s here. She works closely with Abby and says that once Thread falls, records indicate that lots of dragons and their riders- not to mention the regular old weyrfolk and holders- have trauma and flashbacks that are hard to deal with, and with our specialized assortment of bodies, she’ll be much needed here. Having her specialized background, too, makes her the perfect HarperHealer to keep a watch on me and the rest of this wing- it’s too easy for dragons to abuse their power after all. You’ll meet her before the hatching.”

“Do I have to?” Neil wondered hesitantly.

“It’s mandatory once a season for riders,” Abby confirmed. “The first time is just a casual meeting to make sure what your baseline is so that you can get to know her and she can determine if there are any glaring problems- or specific advantages- we should look out for in your pairing with your dragon. The next is just after hatching if you don’t Impress, or a couple of weeks after if you do, to make sure you and your dragon are healthily bonded.” 

“Bee’s amazing,” Nicky said, sitting beside Neil. “You’ll love her.” Neil noticed that they were sitting unnecessarily close under the low table and moved his legs so that they wouldn’t touch. He said nothing to his proclamation of how awesome Bee was, though, since he doubted it. He would just let it all slide for now, and focus on his food.

Conversation died as everyone else got seated and started to fill their plates with food, hunkering down to eat. Neil tried his best to stay out of any conversations, always keeping food in his mouth but never scarfing it down the way he wanted to as he watched how everyone else interacted. It was an interesting dynamic. 

Kevin and Weyrleader Wymack chatted together about what Neil assumed were Bronze things like spring training for Exy and Threadfall, recruits, and other weyrs, and Nicky chatted as much as an eager Harper to the other half about this gossip or that. Andrew watched Kevin and Weyrleader Wymack, but said nothing himself, remaining as quiet as Neil as he carefully set singular portions of food onto his plate and slowly picked away at it. 

It was well after the rising of the second moon when the Weyrleader finally decided to go, and Neil left with him even if he could remember the way. Walking down the long hallways and up the spiralling stone staircase alone with Wymack was by far the hardest thing Neil had had to do that day. Andrew was crazy and his dragon wasn’t much better, but Neil had an ingrained distrust of men old enough to be his father. He spent the entire walk stiff legged and silent, trying hard to match Wymack’s pace but always walk slightly behind and to the side of him so as not to bother. Maybe Wymack noticed the rigid set of his shoulders, because he said nothing to Neil until they were back at his apartment.

When Wymack closed and locked the front door behind them, he asked, “Are they going to be a problem?”

Neil shook his head and carefully put more space between them, pretending to close the window he had opened up earlier that day to prevent crawlers from getting in. “I’ll figure it out.”

“They don’t understand boundaries,” Weyrleader Wymack said. “If they cross a line and you can’t get them to back off, you come to me. Understand? I don’t have perfect control over Andrew, but Kevin owes us his life and I can get to Andrew through him.”

Neil nodded, and went down the hall to get his bag. It had been a while since he had last seen it and with his new, clean clothes on he felt almost dirty touching it again, but he needed some of the things from inside it. He carefully set out the bottles, small mirror, and brush, but Wymack was watching him from the doorway so he didn’t open any of them yet.

“You plan on wearing the same six outfits over and over again this year?” Wymack finally asked.

“Eight,” Neil said.

Wymack arched an eyebrow at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Headwoman Darbi will be expecting you, and you should also go see Head Chef Beal if you want to eat a proper meal every day. Everyone eats for free and everyone gets their first few outfits provided by the Weyr if they don’t have any. You may think it’s fine to walk around in the rags you were wearing earlier, but you’re representing the Foxes now. Even our drudges dress better than that.”

“Yes, Weyrleader.”

“I’ve got paperwork to go over. You good?”

“I might go for a run… get to know the place…” Neil admitted. 

Wymack only nodded, and turned to leave. Neil quickly pulled out one of his least worn outfits- which was still worse than anything he had seen anyone else in the weyr wearing- and a pair of clean socks before he moved into the bathroom to change. He emptied the rest of his bag into the trash, and only replaced his hair dye, mirror, brush, and Sightroot before he shouldered the bag and made his way back to the changing room for the boots. He quickly laced them up, then moved out for a run. When he returned, he indulged himself in another shower, careful to reapply the hair dye and Sightroot before he made his way back to Wymack’s, hiding his accessories in the back of the gear closet for safe keeping. Even if someone found it, there was no evidence it was his and he was sure he could just get more- or make it. 

He was so satisfied with himself for that bit of ingenuity that he had almost forgotten what he would be coming back to. As soon as he stepped into the apartment, the strong scent of spice that he had missed before told him that the dragon was there. He froze, locked in place with his keys still in his hand until a pair of massive eyes blinked open from behind the half closed curtain and turned towards him, whirling blue and green.

Young Neil has returned-- rumbled the dragon, and Neil wondered if he was talking to the Weyrleader or Neil himself. Either way, Neil bowed his head and lowered his upper body into a bow.

“I’m sorry I didn’t greet you earlier, Wy’Rhaun… How do?” Neil said quietly- because he couldn’t hear if Wymack was asleep or in his office. The dragon blinked again, and though it was dark, Neil saw his brilliant eyes raise up a few feet as he held his head up.

I fare well, child of Mary. How do you?-- the dragon responded, curiosity and concern laced through his voice. Remembering how irritated K’holinth had been earlier, Neal considered his answer. It didn’t seem to bother Wy’Rhaun that Neil took a while to answer, though, because he only blinked slowly, eyes still whirling. 

“I’m… scared…” Neal finally admitted, voice barely audible.

Not of me-- Wy’Rhaun’s head slowly moved forward, until it parted the curtain and was illuminated by the still lit glowbaskets. Neal’s breath caught as he remembered just how large such dragons could be. --Dragons promised Mary that we would see her son as a rider of dragons, no matter how difficult.

“But I don’t know what to do.” Neal felt himself saying. He didn’t know what made him want to actually have a conversation with this massive beast, but he had already taken a couple of steps forward by now. “I don’t even know how I’m talking to you right now. Yardith told me that I won’t make a good rider and it’s going to be hard for me to even fly because I don’t know where I’m going- running- and if I don’t know, there’s no way I can tell my dragon… Everyone’s so sure I’m going to even Impress…” 

If you could not Impress, you would not be able to speak to us, young Neil. And the fact that you worry for your dragon now says much about how good a rider you are -- Wy’Rhaun added a gently audible croon to his mental reassurances that made Neil take a couple of more steps forward. 

“But why can I talk to ALL of you? And why can’t I do it all the time?” Neil worried, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Wymack wasn’t awake. The dragon was silent for a long while at that, and so still that Neil worried he would turn to stone. Then, slowly, the large beast shifted his position so that he could lay his head down on his forepaws again. Neil moved closer until his shins were resting up against the stone ledge that separated the rooms, still waiting as Wy’Rhaun regarded him.

Perhaps it is simply that you allow yourself to listen. -- the dragon finally said after a moment. -- Do you still fear?

“...” It was Neil’s turn to hesitate, and Wy’Rhaun patiently waited. “Not you.”

Then, until you become a rider of your own dragon, child of Mary-- Wy’Rhaun lifted a large wing and shifted his foreleg. Neil hesitated for a moment, heart pounding in his chest as he contemplated. Movement from the bedroom past the second set of curtains caused him to stiffen, though, and he almost backed up a step. -- He will not, child.

It took almost five more minutes of intense listening and heavy contemplation for Neil to finally crawl into the bed of straw, but Wy’Rhaun waited patiently the whole time, only shifting to fold his wing completely over Neil once he was settled, hiding him from sight and promising protection. Neil curled up as tightly as he could, for once thankful for the massiveness of the creature. He was asleep before he knew it, though, and the morning came far too coon after that, too.

He was thankful for Wy’Rhaun gently nudging him awake the next morning just as Wymack started to stir in his own room, and felt relief wash over his entire body when the huge dragon feigned sleep again when Wymack finally emerged. Neil said nothing, had at least mussed up the couch to make it look like he slept there. It was a bit redundant to make the couch right back up, but it was much easier than explaining why he felt more comfortable sleeping with the dragon than out in the open for anyone to attack. 

Wymack, thankfully, wasn’t one to ask too many questions and didn’t seem to care about much anyway until he had his second cup of klah in his hands and had fried some meat and flat bread on the stovetop for them. Neil pretended to keep his mouth full to stave off awkward conversation until Wy’Rhaun slowly stood and stretched in his room, rustling his wings and yawning loudly before he turned and left. The Weyrleader’s first words were that dragon’s didn’t fancy the scent of cooked meat and he would likely go bathe in the sun or watch over the eggs while Lynth did so. 

It was as much a conversation starter as they were going to have, so Neil asked why Wy’Rhaun didn’t go and get himself breakfast- and if someone always had to be watching the egg. Wymack easily relaxed into talking about his dragon, explaining that full grown dragons didn’t have to eat very often- once every one or two weeks was just fine by them, though when they did they consumed two or three herdbeasts at a time per dragon. Usually, the queens waited as long as possible between feeding for their eggs to harden- when they were as hard as rocks they were ready to hatch- but would get furious is any other dragon tried to bring food into her nest, where she most assuredly was. 

Someone didn’t always have to be watching the eggs, but the queen’s mood affected her closest companions, and that very often meant all of the dragons and riders in her entire wing. They tried not to bother her, but the blue and green dragons were always worrying closest by and would often exchange watches around her, ever so often looking in to make sure her color wasn’t too dull. The more dull and translucent a dragon’s color, the less healthy they were, but the queen didn’t often feel inclined to leave her nest for fear that her eggs would be tampered with. Still, the super fast greens and acrobatic blues could pester her and evade her wrath best, so whenever they felt she was starving too much, they would coax her out to chase them, passing by herdbeasts along the way until she became distracted by her own hunger and allowed herself a moment to relax after eating to digest and calm down before making her way back home. 

Just when Neil was about to ask more questions, a knock came at the door, and a tall, beautiful woman stood there with a tall, beautiful boy holding an armful of clothes and things. Neil honestly had never seen such a beautiful mother and child- and he knew they had to be because they looked exactly alike! They both had sun kissed skin that seemed to glow, bright silvery green eyes, and curly dark brown hair that framed their round, high cheeked faces. The only difference in them was that the boy had thinner lips and only a sparse handful of freckles where his mother had a face full of them and full lips that smiled honestly. He was so taken aback by the woman and child that Neil almost missed Andrew, a pale ghost behind them, until he walked in as well.

“Neil- this is Darbi, the Headwoman, and her son Damien. Darbi is the woman who really keeps this place running, and we couldn’t live without her. I was going to just go and ask for her, actually…” Wymack explained after brief hugs and kisses. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, Neil,” smiled the woman, bowing to him. He was so relieved that she didn’t want to hug or kiss him that he immediately fell into the dragon bow.

“How do?” he asked before he could stop himself. Damien, no older than ten turns, laughed delightfully.

“She’s not a dragon!” he continued to giggle, even if he did set his huge bundle on the couch and settled into the much less formal but still very polite holder’s bow. “It’s nice to meet you. How are you?”

Neil tried not to be too flustered as he copied the child now, murmuring. He pointedly did NOT look at Andrew, who was still smiling brilliantly, just the same as last night. Darbi, for her part, didn’t seem to think much of Neil’s strange greeting and instead got right to work helping Damien clean the room- it seemed she was personally teaching him how to clean and tidy things so that he could do it himself next time. Only once she had set him to work did she turn to Neil and point towards the clothes. “Now, Andrew tells me you know how to take your own measurements?”

“He might need some help figuring out how to tie some of the clothes up so I might still have to help him.” Andrew agreed before Neil could answer. “He’s not from around here- actually had to show him how to lace up his pants last night.”

The frown Darbi gave Andrew made Neil blush a little, but she only reached down and plucked a long strip of pale fabric all rolled up with a string out of her apron, holding it out alongside a rounded rock. Neil didn’t know what it was until he noticed that it was covered with a round piece of glass and had about ren different points going all around, each one dipped in a different color ink, accessible by turning the glass until the small open slit was over the desired color. If Neil held the pale fabric and pushed a folded bit through the slit, it would color and mark a measurement. 

He only knew because his mother had them work as drudges in a weaver hold for a few winter months one year, though he had to admit he didn’t know how to actually take the measurements. It didn’t seem to bother Andrew, though, as the blond easily started for the bathroom. Neil obediently followed, pausing only once they were actually in the bathroom alone. It was spacious, but would still be awkward to change in with Andrew there watching him. Wanting to get it over with, Neil quickly undressed and stood in his undergarments, turning back to Andrew. 

“Did you show the Weyrleader your scars yet?” Andrew wondered as he deftly made the measurements, moving Neil into the positions he needed to go to whenever he wanted. Neil wondered how he knew, but didn’t want to ask.

“There was no reason to.” Neil didn’t know what Andrew was getting at, but he didn’t feel like playing right now.

“Mmm… He’s going to be so disappointed.” Andrew grinned, and Neil looked away, pointedly not answering him while his legs and hips were being measured. 

“How’s the queen?” Neil decided to ask instead, and was only slightly disappointed when Andrew didn’t looked shocked at the change of subject. 

“She’s as bright as ever after feeding yesterday,” Andrew answered with a smile. “As are you, it seems.” 

“If the other dragons are always nearby when the queen’s got eggs and no one can live without their dragons, where is the rest of the wing?” Neil wondered.

“They’re staying in their own apartments and entertaining family who came down for the hatching. Since Dan’s subject to her Queen’s moods and can’t stop worrying about the eggs the closer it comes time for the hatching, we had to stop practices. She’ll be up and ready to go as soon as they’re hatched, though, so Kevin will immediately want to start training some more. Even Weyrlings like you will be expected to ride joint to start your training and hearn to handle firestone and flamethrowers for the ground crew until your dragon’s ready.” Andred explained before he finally moved away and tossed Neil a pair of pants.

“Oh… I guess I just thought they weren’t here…” Neil murmured, thinking more now. “Why aren’t the rest of you with them?”

“Kevin transferred, and Nicky, Aaron and I only have year old dragons. They’re large enough to ride, and won’t grow so much more as fill out, from now on, but the others have been together longer.” Andrew shrugged. 

“But doesn’t your blue Yardith still take care of her? Lynth, I mean?” Neal wondered. 

“As much as any son can take care of his mother,” Andrew grinned now, and waited until Neil met his eyes again before giving him his shirt. 

“Yardith would only get in the way, and there are already blues and greens who take better care of her- who are older than Yardith and know more. It’s enough that we go on Search and bring back good candidates. And Yardith always brings back the best.” smiled the blond, though Neil didn’t miss the way he leaned with his back against the door.

“I thought the Bronze dragons bring in people on Search.”

“No, we let the public think that. A Holder will be proud of a son Searched by a big, strong Bronze and his tall, masculine Rider. Less so if his only son is told by a dainty rider of green and a rowdy Blue that he’s got what it takes to be just like them. It’s as though they’re afraid if a male green rider tells them they’re to be a dragon man, their only son will turn out gay.” Andrew offered another lazy smile, though Neil could feel the teasing dare behind it.

“Wouldn’t it be enough that they’re a dragon rider at all?” Neil asked instead.

“Not to some. But if a Bronze comes to a holder and tells him his only son is to be a rider or his eldest, most beautiful daughter who was betrothed to a wealthy son of so and so, then at least it’s condolence when they turn out to be Green and Blue. After all, how could the sire of all of those eggs possibly know what was in the heart of those youngsters?” Andrew stepped forward now, and Neil wondered if he would be foolish enough to start something with an apartment full of people. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know what it matters.” Neil took his turn to shrug. Andrew playfully mirrored his motion, still smiling as he moved even closer. 

“I thought your eyes were lighter yesterday… Hair, too.” he pointed out at last.

“Sightroot,” Neil said by way of explanation. 

“Interesting… doesn’t that root only work during daylight or by bright glows?” 

“But I have to apply it every day.”

“Do you?”

“Don’t I?”

“You didn’t have a problem seeing last night, though.”

“Maybe I was just used to my surroundings by then- or it didn’t matter.”

“Maybe…” Andrew’s eyes flickered up to his hair and for a moment, Neil worried that he had missed a spot when he was trying to dye it last night. After a moment, though, Andrew leaned back and reached over, handing Neil the measuring cloth.

When they got back into the living room, it already looked nearly spotless and Neil found himself thoroughly impressed. He wished he could give them something in return, but all he could do was offer Damien the rest of his breakfast. To his surprise, the boy smiled brightly at him and, after washing his hands, sat down to eat as much of the meat as he could. He explained that he and his mother woke very early in the morning and had breakfast when the sun was still down before they went to check on the entire Weyr. They had to do paperwork to order new stock and ask for specialists to fix what was broken, then they made sure to compile lists of all the drudges and what chores they would be doing and had done. Once they woke all of the drudges, they had them clean their own living spaces first before going about their jobs, the first of many was to make enough breakfast for the entire weyr and prepare things for the morning. Only after that did Darbi tend to special chores with her own hand- like making sure the Weyrleader had everything he needed and scheduling times for stocks and guests to arrive and preparing for Gathers and social events in advance to make everything run smoothly when the days did come around.

Neil was impressed, since he had only ever worked as a drudge and did as he was told when he was told. It never occurred to him that there were people who were in charge of THEM that maintained the finer workings of Hold, Hall, and Weyr. Then again, it did make sense. In a way, Darbi was the Master here and Damien was training as her apprentice. Overhearing her talking to Wymack about how much they had ready and prepared for Threadfall and how much still had to be done if they wanted to get ready, his respect only grew. Neil promised Damien that if he ever needed a bite to eat or a moment of rest, he could come bother him any time he wanted. The tired thanks the boy gave him around a mouthful of meat only made Neal chuckle, and he was too absorbed to see the way Andrew was watching him, in turn.

After Darbi was done talking with Weyrleader Wymack, she took one good long look at Neil’s measurements before she told all three boys to follow her. She loaded them all up with ‘Just the basics any Weyrling needs to survive the first few weeks’ before sending them off, even having Andrew and Neil carry a heavy locked chest between them that Neil could store all of his things in. Neil couldn’t remember a time in all his eight years of running that he had ever had so much stuff, and he didn’t think he would ever use them all.. But he couldn’t argue with Darbi and the excited look on Damien’s face to be able to help them made him bite his tongue until the boy was gone. Even then, though, Andrew wasn’t done with him yet. He made Neil change into a pair of the plainest clothes Darbi had given him (Andrew pointedly and deliberately threw away his running clothes from the night before) and told him that these and the five other sets of similarly fine woven but dull colored clothes would be his training clothes. His plain weyrling riding gear would do as his uniform for now until he had earned his custom ones. It was still so much to take in, but Andrew wouldn’t let him dwell.

Instead, he urged Neil up and they spent the rest of the morning exploring the Weyr and memorizing the layout. As Neil suspected, there were lots of shortcuts all over the place and more than enough places to tuck himself away and hide. When Andrew was sure Neil knew his way around the weyr, he made them take a long run out into the island itself and down onto the beach. Neil hadn’t known Palmetto was so huge or that Andrew could run so well, but he found himself shocked that he was actually having a decent time. It was still awkward and a little tense when Andrew stopped to order this or that to be delivered to the weyr later, but since he only laughed in Neil’s face when he tried to protest and let him know that none of it would be for him, Neil relaxed greatly. It seemed that Andrew had been sent to run errands anyway and Neil was just a tagalong, and that made it all the better. 

Gradually, they made their way back, Andrew pointedly stopping at a few specific high points to make Neil memorize them as well so that when he started his training with his dragon he could give the young one directions without fault. Since Yardith had specifically pointed that out as a flaw of Neil’s, he made sure to pay special attention to these and promised himself to come back and do this as much as he could so that he would never get his dragon stuck Between if he could help it. They had an hour to stretch and eat lunch when they got back, and Andrew thought it was the perfect time to take Neil to meet Beal.

Beal was a huge man, and as wide as he was tall, as loud as he was happy. He had a heavy Western accent, but made such amazing food Neal had to wonder why Wymack even needed a little stovetop in his apartment anyway when he could just run down to the kitchens and eat! The big man seemed to appreciate that Neil came to him directly and told him of any allergies or food biases before he had to find out secondhand, and when Andrew pointed out that Neil even took the time to feed young Damien that morning, tears threatened to swell in the man’s eyes. Damien was clearly a favorite even if Beal berated him as cheeky and rowdy, and Beal promised to give Neal a bit more for breakfast if he kept handing it off to the boy when he could. The egg knew the child would be more than too busy to sit and eat two proper meals a day, so it was good to give him as much as he would take so he wouldn’t become all skin and bones. 

By the time they left Beal’s kitchens, they had just enough time to change before Nicky and Aaron showed up, and practice started in earnest. It was completely different from the day before. Neil didn’t know if it was because he was finally paying attention or because Kevin was paying him back for NOT paying attention the day before, but things only got harder as they day progressed. Kevin had to pause and dismount quite a few times when his legs started to tremble in his straps, and Neil remembered the terrible scars he hid, recalling that if they went as deep as they looked, they would have compromised his muscles- and possible his tendons as well. The fact that Kevin could even sit in his straps at all for any extended period of time, much less actually complete drills with his team was beyond impressive, and Neal found it surreal to be able to ride in the saddle with him, getting personally instructed. 

Kevin grounded them for a water break and told the dragons to go and take a quick dip to cool off, but instead of following Aaron, Nicky and Neal to the water fountains, he stayed behind with Andrew to talk about the next drill. Neil watched them over his shoulder as he waited in line, only really noticing what he was doing himself when Nicky put a hand over his shoulder. 

“I saw him first,” Nicky teased.

“I thought you had a weyrmate.” Neil pointed out.

“He’s a Holder, but Kevin’s on the List.” Nicky grinned. When Neil turned his attention up and frowned, Nicky explained. “It’s a list of people Harpers have written songs about that we’re allowed to bed. Kevin is number three for me.” 

Neil nodded, and tried to understand for only a moment before he changed the subject. “How does any Thread get through with Andrew flying just above Queen?” he asked, recalling that since queen dragons could not actually breathe flame (In favor of being the only dragons who could lay eggs) they flew below the rest of the dragons, using a flamethrower to catch any remaining Thread they could see before any seeds or pods could make it to the ground and burrow. If a wing had a good queen, every single dragon that flew above her would drop dead with Thread for guts before they let a single strand of Thread down for their queen, but history had seen some Threadfalls that were absolute torrents of the filthy stuff with entire wings being devoured in a matter of moments, as well as the sparcests of falls flown by lazy and complacent wings that allowed the ground cleanup crew armed with nothing but flamethrowers try to root out all the borrows they let manifest. 

Usually during threadfall, the strongest flyers met the leading edge of thread as high up and as far forward as they could, getting as much of the menace as possible. Fast and flexible dragons made up the center of the wing, and the most reliable dragons protected the queen and caught the remnants as the last defence before they could reach the Queen. She would be the last defense of Pern, risking the very future of dragonkind to protect her people, and until Thread, Exy was the tactical and points based game that proved that. With Andrew as their Queen’s protector, Neil thought it should be a given that Dan and Lynth would see no Thread through Exy or Fall. Seeing even just this one practice was enough to prove that. With Yardith, Neil was confident. 

“Andrew and Yardith ARE good, aren’t they?” Nicky allowed. “But they sat out most of last year’s Exy games. There are lots of Blues who are bigger and stronger and who were closer to Dan at first. We weren’t even part of the first wing until last turn, but then the Harpers threatened to send us all to extra training and revoke our right to fly thread alone if we didn’t get our priorities straight. Dan and Wymack actually sat down in the middle of the bowl then with every single dragon here and had us do drills till we found out who was best at what. Then, they organized us into first, second, and third wings. Now, we only send our First wing to the Exy games, and they’ll be the first out to fly Thread, too. The others will fly cleanup and guard until they’re ready enough… Not that that helped us get Andrew to fly for the games. Weyrleader Wymack had to bribe him with the best Benden Wine to make that happen.”

“Bribe?” Neal wondered, recalling the night before.

“Well, Yardith’s good and he doesn’t mind, but Andrew doesn’t really care if we win or lose those games. They’re just games. It doesn’t matter to him- what he cares about is when Thread actually falls. When that happens, there are no points or scores winners. There’s just Thread, life, and Death. You just fly, and flame, and protect the Queen and Pern. He doesn’t see why we should waste time on a dumb game.” Nicky explained. 

“But Yardith flies so well…” Neil pointed out, and thought that the blue dragon must love it, if he could maneuver so well. It was like the dragon could fly in midair! 

“Now you sound like Kevin. You’ll find out the hard way, the same way he did. Kevin gave Andrew a lot of grief this new Turning,” Nicky said as they rounded the corner to the water fountain. Aaron was already there, and Nicky leaned against the glass panel to watch Neil. “Andrew flew off of the face of Pern for a whole moon cycle. He said he would snap his own legs if Wymack made him fly with Kevin again. No one knew if he was serious, but Yardith got so upset Wymach figured he had better not push it.”

The idea that Andrew would purposely hurt himself just to spite the game made Neil’s chest throb. “But he’s flying now…” 

Nicky hurried forward as soon as Andrew was done, holding his hands out in front of the stream of water and scrubbing at his face and the back of his neck before turning to Neil again. “Only because Kevin is. Kevin and K’holinth got back in the sky with braces and bandages, and Andrew was right behind him. Up until then they were fighting like wind and rain. Now look at them. They’re practically wearing matching Gather robes and I couldn’t fit a glass shard between them if my life depended on it.”

“But… Why? Andrew seems like he hates Kevin’s obsession with Thread.” Neal contemplated.

“Listen, the day they start making sense to you, you let me know.” Nicky said, dunking his head under the flow of water to take a few large gulps before he moved to let Neil get a drink. “I gave up trying to figure it out a handful sevendays ago. You could ask, but I bet neither of them would answer… But hey, as long as I’m doling out advice? Stop staring at Kevin so much. You’re making me fear for my damn life over here.”

Neil shifted, thankful that the water was cool enough for his hot cheeks. “What do you mean?”

“Andrew is scary territorial of him. He punched me in the face the first time I said I’d like to get him too topped off on that good Benden wine to be straight.” Nicky pointed at his own face, presumably where Andrew had hit him. “So yea, I’m going to take my fancy on safer targets until Andrew gets bored of him. And that means you, since Matt’s taken and Hemmi would eat me alive before jumping into Between herself if I stooped so low as Seth. Congrats.”

“Yea, you need to take that creepy down a level, Nicky.” Aaron said pointedly.

“What?” Nicky asked defensively. “He said he doesn’t fly, so obviously he needs a running jump.”

“I do not need a running jump,” Neil said, shaking his head. “I’m just fine on my own, and I’m sure my dragon will be, too.”

“Seriously, how are you not bored of your own hand by now?” Nicky grinned, and when Neil thought he was going to take a step forward, he took a step back. 

“I’m done with this conversation.” He didn’t even want to hope Nicky had enough decorum to take a subtle hint. “This and every future variation of it. Look, Nicky, I have no problems with your sexuality, but I’m here to fly- to Impress my dragon. All I want from any of you is to help me do that, and protect Pern.”

The air itself seemed to crackle as Andrew rounded the corner, eyes wide as if he wasn’t expecting to see them all there. “Kevin wants to know what’s taking you all so long. Did you almost drown in the water or something?”

“Nicky’s scheming to rape Neil,” Aaron frowned, already moving away. “There are a couple of flaws in his plan he needs to work out first, but he’ll get there sooner or later, I’m sure.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Nicky frowned, good mood abated by the accusation.

“Wow, Nicky,” Andrew said. “You start early.”

“Can you really blame me?” Nicky said almost as if on spiteful reflex. He had glanced back at Neil as he said it, and really only took his eyes off of Andrew for a second, but that was more than long enough for Andrew to lunge at him. Andrew had Nicky’s jacket collar in one hand and threw him so hard up against the glass that it echoed and caused Nicky to grunt just milliseconds before two dragons were suddenly popping out of Between. Neil Recognized Hemmi and Yardith, both glaring down each other as their Riders squared off, though Yardith was much larger and would obviously win any battle between them. Nicky stood still, making no move to shove Andrew off when the smaller man leaned up against him. Neil glanced from Nicky to Aaron, but Aaron didn’t even seem phased- his dragon hadn’t even bothered to saunter over and check out the sudden violence. Neil, for his part, turned back to Andrew and waited to see how this would play out. 

“Hey, Nicky…” Andrew growled out- and Neil realized that Yardith was growling along with the sing-song cadence of his voice, teeth bared as he put his huge face right up against Hemmi’s neck. “Do not touch… what is mine… Do you understand me?”

“You know I’d never hurt a weyrmate. If he says yes-” Nicky whispered, and Neil heard the nervous growls from Hemmi.

“I said no.”

“By the egg, you’re greedy,” Nicky said, clearly still trying to keep his cool. “You already have Kevin. Why does it-”

He went silent, but it took Neil a moment to realize why. Andrew had a short knife pressed up against Nicky’s jersey. It wasn’t the riding knife at the back of his belt, nor was it one of the longer daggers hidden in his sleeves, but Neil refused to think that the short man just had an entire arsenal of blades hidden on his person at all times. Pern didn’t have many laws about weapons, but Neil was sure that was just inviting Andrew to try to stab someone and then the Harpers and HarperHealers would get involved. 

“Shh, Nicky, shh,” Andrew purred against his ear, like he was soothing a troubled child. “Why the long face? It’s going to be okay.”

Neil frowned a bit. He was no stranger to violence. He’d heard every threat in the book, but never from a man who smiled as bright as Andrew did. Apathy, anger, madness, boredom; these motivators Neil knew and understood from dangerous men. But Andrew was grinning like he didn’t actually have a blade point where it’d slip perfectly between Nicky’s ribs, and it wasn’t because he was joking. Neil knew that Andrew meant it. If Nicky so much as breathed wrong right now, Andrew would cut his lungs to ribbons, any and all consequences be damned. 

Briefly, Neil wondered if Andrew’s medicine would let him grieve, or if he would laugh at the Funeral, too. Then, he wondered if it really even was the Felicity that was causing him to act like this. Would Andrew act any different if he was sober? Was this his psychosis or his medicine? Would it even make a difference which one it was if he COULD understand and fully process the consequences of his actions or did his medicine only add a smile to his naturally ‘excessively aggressive’ violence? 

Neil looked over at Aaron again, waiting for him to interfere. Aaron was tense, but he was also quiet as he stared down at Andrew’s knife and Neil remembered the too similar voice of Ardanth in his head. Neil gave him another second, but he couldn’t wait forever. He didn’t know what would finally set Andrew off and he didn’t really want to find out. 

“Hey,” Neil said, looking back towards Andrew after a quick glance up at Yardith.

“Quiet,” Nicky said in English, barely louder than a breath of air as he continued to stare into Andrew’s eyes. “Quiet. It’s fine.”

“Hey,” Neil said again, ignoring him. But… He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t particularly like Nicky, and wasn’t entirely sure he COULD like a man that would so easily cheat on his future husband, even if it was open, but he didn’t want Nicky to die. He wouldn’t pretend to accept Nicky’s advances just so calm Andrew down either. What Neil needed was a distraction, something more important to Andrew than Nicky. And Neil really only knew of one person. Two, if you counted the dragon. When he heard a humored rumbling from across the field, he knew what he had to do. 

“Are we going to fly or what? Kevin’s waiting.”

Andrew immediately looked over at Neil as if that hadn’t occurred to him. “Oh, you’re right. Let’s go or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

Andrew pushed away from Nicky and spun away. His knife was already gone, magicked away somewhere in his gear before he even turned the corner. Aaron reached over and squeezed Neil’s shoulder on his way back as well, but Neil didn’t bother. Neil looked shaken as he stared after the twins, but when he realized Neil was watching him, he rallied with the most pathetic of fake smiles Neil had seen in a while.

“On second thought, you’re not my type after all.” Nicky said when Aaron had finally disappeared from sight and Yardith made one final growl at Hemmi before turning as well, leaving the green to finally relax “You need some more water before we hit the sky for round two?”

“That’s not alright,” Neil said, ignoring his question and pointing towards the door.

“That- is nothing.” Nicky said firmly, as if he needed to believe it himself.

“The more you let him get away with things like that, the more he’ll do,” Neil said firmly when Nicky started to turn to go. When he turned back around, his smile was small and tired.

“Oh, Neil. You’re going to make this so hard on yourself. Look…” Nicky ran a hand through his hair and shook his head as he turned back towards the door. “Andrew is a little crazy. Your lines- the limits you might set between right and wrong- they’re not his lines, so you can get all huff and puff and indignant when he tramps across yours but you’ll never make him understand that when he did was wrong. Moreover, you’ll never make him care. So it’s best to just stay out of his way.”

“He’s only like this because you let him get away with it.” Neil said. “You’re putting all of us at risk because you don’t want to put your foot down.”

Nicky nodded in aquiecense. “That was my fault.” He made it to the corner and waited for Neil to fall into pace beside him. “I said something I shouldn’t have and I just got what I deserved.”

Neil wasn’t convinced that Nicky deserved to be stabbed, but he didn’t demand better explanations for a whispered argument he was sure Andrew didn’t even expect him to be able to hear. Instead, he turned his attention to Andrew, who was mounting Yardith, and then to Kevin, who was already straddling K’holinth. He wanted to say something… but the practice that followed after that was far too intense for him to even get a word in edgewise. He was paying attention this time, but Andrew was being difficult now. Something about his mood had changed and Yardith seemed more interested in twirling and playing in the air than actually following any of the drills. He seemed especially interested in nipping at Hemmi’s tail and wings whenever Nicky messed up or she made a wrong turn and pretty soon it got on Kevin’s nerves as well. By the end of the third hour, everyone’s nerves were raw and Kevin yelled at them to get to the ground again. This time, Neil did pay attention to the yelling, but he didn’t dare ask why they stopped so early. Instead, he stood there silently and waited until Kevin demanded Nicky and Aaron go and take their dragons to bathe and oil their hides before hitting the showers themselves, then glanced over at a still smiling Andrew. 

Then, Kevin turned on him, as if he had personally offended every mother and child in the whole weyr by not being able to hand off firestone fast enough or point to whatever specific coordinate he called out in the aerial grid they used for Exy games. Irritated, he reached in his jacket and pulled out a small glass cube, shoving it at Neil. “You stay here and work with Andrew and Yardith on picturing exactly where you are in three dimensional space until Yardith gets tired. Maybe by the end of the night, you’ll finally have developed decent spacial awareness and not get everyone killed by sending your dragon halfway through the path of someone else’s flame.”

“Uh oh,” Angrew said with a delighted laugh. “This won’t end well.”

Kevin only scowled at him, then turned to leave, taking K’holinth Between in a matter of moments. Neil turned back to Andrew, but the blond only reached over and snatched the cube out of his hands before taking a running jump up onto Yardith’s forearm, leaping to hook his foot into the stirrup, then swing his leg over. As if he hadn’t just done the most graceful maneuver on dragonback Neil had ever seen, he plopped the folded blanket down and set the cushion up before mirroring Yardith’s smirk down at Neil.

“You wouldn’t happen to be tired, would you?” Neil asked the dragon as he started forward. Andrew’s laugh filled his ears, and he didn’t know if it came from man or beast. After the first five minutes, he wasn’t sure that it mattered. After the first half hour, he wasn’t sure that he cared, and after the next two, he was too tired to even properly think straight. 

Instead of actually letting Neil use the small glass cube (which had a three dimensional grid of colored lines and numbers set within it to help young Weyrlings envision where they were supposed to be in relation to anyone in their wing) Andrew had instead opted to have Yardith fly Neil up as high as he could go after twisting and turning and swirling around then dropped him and made Neil call out the coordinates of where he wanted Yardith to appear to catch him. He hardly gave Neil a break at all, and at one point Yardith had played a game with him where he would just catch Neil one moment before flickering Between and dropping him again, over and over until Neil was numb to the core and thought he would actually catch frostbite. 

After so many hours of this constant abuse- of which Yardith particularly liked tossing Neil around in the air to disorient him and leaving him terrifyingly close to the ground so that he hardly had a split second to ask for help, then taking him so high up he had entire minutes to fall, in which Yardith and Andrew would have gone Between and didn’t seem like they would even deign to return no matter how loudly Neil demanded they come back. The only thing that made it even worse was the fact that Andrew would have Yardith stop and drop them off ever so often and ask Neil if he wanted to go back up. It was torture, because Neil knew all he had to do was say that he wanted to stop. All Neil had to do was say he was tired and wanted to go and take a shower. 

“Oh no,” Andrew grinned as he watched Neil all but faceplant the next time they landed for a break. “I think Neil’s in trouble. Can you even stand?”

Neil scrambled to his feet, entire body shaking so bad he knew he couldn’t take a step even if he wanted. Yardith stared down at him, eyes swirling a muddy brownish color. -- Why will you not just say you are tired? This is great fun for me, but you are nothing more than a mortal- a child at that. Just say you are tired.

“No.” Neil shook his head- and stumbled forward so hard he nearly twisted his left wrist trying to catch himself on the stones. 

“Is that a ‘No, I’m not’ or a ‘No, I can’t’?” Andrew grinned down at him from the saddle, daring him.

Defeat tasted more sour in his mouth than his bile had the first two times. Shoulders slumping, Neil let himself settle onto the stones at last, hardly even able to stop his helmet from rolling too far away. The metallic clang of Andrew’s boots on the stone floor let Neil know that Andrew was dismounting. The sound of metal on metal let Neil know that Andrew had put his foot down on his gear. Neil tried to reach over and tug it from under Andrew’s foot, but even his fingers spasmed and refused to grip. He had been so desperate to hang on to Yardith’s saddle as Andrew seemed determined to get him to trust fall again, even through their games, that he was almost sure Andrew was just determined to mentally break him.

“Get off my helmet.”

“Make me?” Andrew said, spreading his arms in invitation. “Try, anyway.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Such fierce words from such a little creature,” Andrew said, and Neil wasn’t sure if he had actually spoken or if it wasn’t Yardith in his head after all. “You’re not very bright. Typical of a jock… Or a Butcher.”

“Hypocrite,” Neil growled, glaring up at him and his dragon. Andrew only smirked and gave him a thumbs up, though, and took his foot off of the helmet just so that he could give Neil’s shoulder a very gentle shove. As small as it was, it was enough to send a jolt of incomprehensible pain through Neil’s body and he fell flat on his back. He didn’t even try to get back up, hearing the clack of metal on stone as Andrew was already turning back to his dragon. Neil was too tired to care anymore, so he laid there and listened to Yardith take off, then go Between. 

For a long time, Neil stared up at the evening sky, watching Pern’s two moons slowly make themselves visible through a myriad of colors at sunset. Only once he heard the sound for the internal mechanisms that would turn the Glowbaskets over and open them so that they could illuminate the night did he painstakingly gather himself up and clean the training grounds. His entire body ached like one giant bruise as he peeled off his gear, and struggling to get dressed after was almost too much to handle.

He cursed himself all the way across the Weyr and up the spiraling staircase for his own pride. If he had just said he had enough and had learned his lesson, he would have been fine! But as it was now, he was going to be useless tomorrow- and if he kept up this pace he would be useless to his dragon once they were born as well. The apartment was unlocked when he made it back- not that anyone would dare steal anything from a Weyrleader’s rooms when his Bronze was keeping watch- and Wymack was waiting for him in the hall with a wooden can of klah in his hands. 

“Kevin sent notice that you wouldn't be at practice tomorrow and that instead you should study maps and terrains. He said you tried to kill yourself playign with Yardith and Andrew. I said you weren’t that stupid. Which one of us is right?” Wymack asked tightly, and his voice was all Weyrleader.

“I might have gotten carried away,” Neil said.

Wymack tossed the jar of klah at him. Neil fumbled to catch it instinctively, but couldn’t hold on. It tumbled to the stone floor loudly, the top popping off and spilling the dried leaves everywhere. Wymack stalked toward Neil with a snarled, “You idiot.” Just as Wy’Rhaun growled a sharp bark from his room, his massive head snaking out into the center room and eyes whirling red, orange, and yellow. 

Retreating from a furious older man was so instinctive Neil didn’t even realize he’s flinched until Wymack froze. The Weyrleader got that look on his face that all dragonriders did when talking to their partners, then his eyes darted from Wy’Rhaun to Neil and back, expression going almost dangerously blank when they settled on Neil, and the boy dropped his gaze. He was careful not to look away from Wymack entirely, though. He needed to see when Wymack started moving again. He waited for the Weyrleader to say something. After an endless, brittle silence, he realized that the man wouldn’t- not until he did. 

“Today was a mistake,” Neil said quietly, and hated himself for sounding like Nicky. “It won’t happen a second time.” 

Wymack didn’t answer. He didn’t come closer either, though. At length, he pointed to the ground in front of him. “Come here. No,” He said when Neil started to reach for the mess at his feet. “Leave it.”

Neil couldn’t believe that he would be alright with just leaving the precious klah on the ground like that- cleaned that morning or not, but it wasn’t his place. He stepped over it and went to stand in front of Wymack: within arm’s reach but just barely. He’d perfected that trick as a kid, after all. He could look at anyone’s arms and judge the safe distance from them in a heartbeat. If they had to move to hit him, he had enough time to dodge. Either way he wouldn’t catch the full intended force of their blow. 

“Look at me,” Wymack said, and Neil noted the way Wy’Rhaun’s eyes had stopped swirling and were not a much more muted red, mixed in with worried browns. “Right now.”

Neil had to force himself to drag his stare up from Wymack’s chest to his face. His expression was still too blank for Neil to feel safe, but he knew better than to look away again.

“I want you to understand something,” Wymack said. “I am a loud, grouchy old man. I like to yell and throw things. But I don’t throw punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first. I have never, ever hit someone without provocation, and I’m sure as hell not going to start with you. You hear me?”

Neil didn’t believe him, and he felt Wy’Rhuan’s sadness at that but he couldn’t help it. Still, he said, “Yes, Weyrleader.”

“I’m serious,” Wymack said. “Don’t you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew.”

Neil could have told the man that it was his age that made him such a problem, but he didn’t think Wymack really wanted to hear that. There was no solution to that problem. The damage had been done- over and over again- and it was now just a part of who Neil was. “Yes, Weyrleader.”

The older man gestured over his shoulder and stepped aside. “I already are, but I haven’t sent your food back yet. I’ll take care of this. You take care of that so I won’t have Beal tearing down my door thinking I’m starving you.”

Neil ate to the sound of Wy’Rhaun’s low, worried murmuring though the dragon didn’t speak to him while he ate. By the time he was done, Wymack was in his office, and when the bronze silently raised his wing in invitation, Neil almost dove into the sticky straw, curling himself up against the soft, warm hide of the dragon and breathing much easier when the heavy wing tucked against him, covering him and protecting him, just as promised. He wanted to run to the stores room, pack as much as he could, and go, but he didn’t want to worry Darbi now that he knew it was her who would be worried about the stock that was short if he did. So instead he closed his eyes and breathed in deep lungfuls of dragonscent as he counted Wy’Rhaun’s heartbeats until he finally fell asleep.


	5. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the day of Impression nears, Neil gets a little more used to his life in the Weyr, but Andrew calls him out on his cold feet.

When Andrew said that the eggs wouldn’t be ready for another two and a half weeks, he really wasn’t lying. Every single day was hell for Neil as Kevin seemed determined to make their little group train as much as they could to be ready for the Exy games and insisted that Neil train as much as he could for Thread. His dragon wasn’t going to be big enough to play in any of the games- not even to fly firestone out to them- but she MIGHT be big enough to fly in the first Threadfall. Either way, they would have half a century to fight the menace and Kevin was determined to see them all live through it all. Neil couldn’t really blame him for that, but he could hate the training with a passion.

Of course, he wanted to be the best he could be for his little dragon, but some nights when he was finally able to curl up next to Wy’Rhaun, he wondered if it was really going to have been worth it if he didn’t even Impress. Still, Neil continued to give it his all- carefully training right up to his limits before backing off no matter how Andrew antagonized him or Kevin goaded him by picking out each and every flaw he had. 

He had even started to train his ‘ear’ to dragons. He realized that he could hear every dragon, not just the ones that belonged to those he spent the most time with- but he could only hear them when they were ‘speaking out loud’ and didn’t care who heard them telepathically, or when they were talking directly to him. 

At first he didn’t know what difference that made at all, but when Yardith and Andrew played cunning tricks on him during his after practice practices, he found that he was always in much more trouble when they first conversed with each other quietly. On the other side of the same coin, though, was the fact that he could carefully tailor his own thoughts until they were inaudible to dragons as well. It took a lot of doing, but soon he was able to concentrate and do it all the time. Wy’Rhaun secretly helped him with that, especially when he couldn't sleep at night or was too worried that his past would come back to haunt him- or his future would be too big to live up to. 

Kevin insisted that he never stop or let up, though, and Neil was soon able to trill off his exact location no matter where he was in the air, and envision Yardith below him, ready to catch him perfectly in the saddle. He wasn't sure if it was… trust… that he had built with Andrew and his blue dragon, but Neil at least did his part to know where he was and where Yardith should be. And he had to admit that Yardith never once dropped him. Andrew frustrated him and Yardith played far too much, but they kept their word and he knew they would never really hurt him. Soon enough, he was used to Yardith and his playful air dancing and flying with no straps at all, falling as easily as he walked, and it made all the difference when he was finally allowed flying straps. Of course, then he had to learn how to detangle himself midair, how to strap himself in, and how to put on and take off a saddle and all the things associated with it. After that came general dragon care, and with that came so many lessons. Not just lessons regarding the sounds, smells, and sights all associated with dragons, but also lessons on hand signals, commands, and abbreviations the weyrleader would use. Neil felt like his mind would burst with so many lessons, but Kevin prattle on to him anyway and demanded he learn history and culture as well.

The only respite he had was a slightly less rigorous training session reserved for the break in their Sevendays; two days set aside when even the drudges were given the day off. Often, bright and high-tempo music could be heard as well as singing and the smells of good foods filled the whole weyr. It was almost like everyone was having their own tiny little gather, and Neil found it delightful, even if he had to start declining the bolder of invitations to bed again more often when those came around. He also didn’t fail to notice that Darbi, Wymack, and Abby still worked, through it all. Even Kevin still insisted that they train, but he was limited to only a few hours during the early mornings, since others wanted to use the weyr bowl for the rest of the time. That didn’t mean they could just slack off, though. Instead, Kevin and Andrew took him all around Palmetto on dragonback to show him the island from above on dragonback and made sure he could visually reconstruct the landscape on command before finally letting him go. 

When the fourth day of the third week opened with Wy’Rhaun nudging Neil awake so that he could scramble out of the straw just in time for Andrew to give him a suspicious stare, he really had to wonder just how bad his luck was. “... Don’t tell me you missed sleeping outside so much…?” Andrew smirked, closing the door behind himself and moving into the apartment. 

“What are you here for?” Neil asked him instead of answering, and Wy’Rhaun gave a huff before stretching and sauntering out to his ledge, far away from them before he lept off and darted Between. 

“Hatching is going to start soon. I wanted to make sure you were ready.” Andrew smiled, and Neil sighed, closing his eyes. 

“And this couldn’t wait until later today?” he wondered, rubbing his face. 

“No. Because you seem to forget who you’re going to belong to. Your trust is coming along nice enough but every time I think I’m making progress on the idea that you are one of mine, you backpedal.” Andrew said simply. Neil half turned to keep the blond in his sights. 

“Andrew, that’s because I’m not your property.” Neil was really too tired to deal with this so early in the morning.

“Then whose are you?” Now, Andrew moved around to set a pot of steeped klah to boil as he prepared two large mugs. Neil wished he wouldn’t- this just made it seem like he was going to be staying for a while, and while Neil knew Wymack wouldn’t be back until at least midday from the Harperhall, he really didn’t want to have to entertain Andrew all day. 

“I don’t belong to anybody--” Neil started. 

“Wrong. You were supposed to belong to Telgar, just like Kevin.” Andrew reminded him. At this, Neil fell silent. “But you didn’t go there. You ran away. Kevin stayed- because he didn’t have a brave dragonspeaker for a mother- and the other boy, Jean. But you didn’t. And you seem to think that your father’s people will still hunt for you and come find you, killing everyone they meet as they go.”

“... Why are you telling me things I already know?” Neil finally asked, crossing his arms. 

“Because the hatching is coming. And there are going to be a lot of people.” Andrew shrugged. 

“... Telgar? Riko?” 

“Maybe.”

“Tetsuji…?” he asked now, worried. "My father's men…?"

“I doubt him. But lots of strangers. Lots of families of people Shunned or exiled or even orphaned. It’s going to be like a gather in our halls, and they’re all going to know your face.” Andrew smiled brightly.

“What?” Neil froze.

“Well, think about it, Neil. You’re going to the hatching- you’ll stand on the hatching grounds, a theatre in which you’re on stage. And everyone will be watching as your dragon hatches out of its egg and Impresses you. You’ve been briefed.” Andrew nodded.

“Well, yea… but… But when we Impress, all I have to do is feed it all the food I can and talk to it- love on it- till it falls asleep.” Neil tried, even as Andrew laughed from the kitchen.

“When the dragons Impress, that IS going to happen, but you’ll also have to lead the dragon off to go and take a bath, which you will do just when the greedy guts are only full enough to be sated. Take care of any wounds you or they might have, then take it to your new room to sleep. That's the end of the day for the dragon. But you, Neil, will be expected to be one of the heart and center of the marvelous party afterwards. Everyone will want to talk to you and dance with you and write songs about you… know who you are and from where- record keepers are going to seek you out. Holders are going to try to bribe you." Andrew grinned. 

"Can't I skip…?" Neil frowned, feeling his panic rising. 

"You could, but imagine the Harper songs. 'All those impressed there but the one. From what does he hide, that dark eyed one?' Do you really want to be THAT one?" Grinned Andrew, and Neil wasn't at all shocked that he had actually taken the time to sing the song he made up. 

"But if I go, and they ask- if they find out who I am-- if a holder who used to make deals with my father recognizes me just like Kevin did--" Neil started, standing now. As soon as he did, Andrew pressed the warm mug into his hands and forced him back down onto the couch. 

"Which is why you need to remember who you will be with." The bond rider said calmly, settling down beside Neil. 

"How could you protect me? If my father finds out where I am, he'll send men- and it won't be hard for them to get in, what with Palmetto being an island full of past criminals!" Neil hissed, as if he had to whisper it. Andrew said nothing but sipped at his klah, watching Neil panic. "And if they killed those people at the gather just looking for me, and they KNOW I'm here, what's to stop them from coming to get me? I know them, Andrew. They'll come to get me, or make me come to them. What if they hide and take my dragon? What if they get to the butcher here, and he poisons the meat?" 

Andrew was infuriatingly calm, and Neil winced at his smile. 

"What if someone from Telgar comes and their dragons realize I'm the Neil they were looking for? Dragons- and they try to hurt our dragons here?" Neil insisted. "Don't you care about that? Aren't you scared of someone hurting Yardith?"

"Do you trust me?" Andrew finally asked, lowering his mug and smiling at Neil. 

"I'm asking how you expect to protect ME at the cost of the lives of innocent People- they would even kill children! The Harper's creche! And dragons! They'll-" Neil tried to make him understand, but Andrew reached forward, his warm fingers pressing against Neil's lips to make him silent, smelling like dried Klah leaves. Neil wished he would just UNDERSTAND!

"You don't trust me." Andrew whispered, smile falling just a little before his fingers started to brush past his lips and around his neck. When they tightened their grip there, Andrew leaned forward until his forehead was pressed to Neil's and there was no choice but to look his in the eyes. "But you won't run."

"They'll find me," Neil whispered back. 

"I'll protect you." Andrew reassured, his eyes boring into Neil and demanding his trust. All Neil could remember was the sight of Yardith's huge multifaceted eyes reflecting the upcoming ground. "Trust me, or die."

Neil was silent for a long time, lost in the promise, and wanting desperately to believe that what Andrew was saying was the truth. He wanted to trust Andrew. He wanted to believe that Yardith would always be there, as long as he gave him directions and told him he was needed. He wanted to trust that he was safe, no matter how terrifying the fall was. And Andrew, as infuriating as he was with his damned manic smile, waited as patiently as Wy'Rhaun. 

"Protect me," Neil finally whispered. He didn't ask, or beg, because he knew Andrew hated to be begged, but he did envision it. He did trust that Andrew would do it, if Neil wanted him to. 

"Then you are mine. Yes…? Or no?" Purred the crazy little dragon boy, pressing his forehead harder against Neil as he tilted his head just a bit, fingers pressing against the back of Neil's neck. "I won't take a half assed answer." 

Neil knew Andrew wanted- needed him to submit that control to him. It wasn't enough to mumble his desire to be protected. Neil needed to say it, and he needed to believe it with his whole heart. "If I impress."

This didn't seem to be the answer Andrew wanted, though, because his left eye twitched, and suddenly he had released Neil's neck, leaving him suddenly cold with nothing but the Llah to keep him warm. Andrew leaned back, and the laugh that rolled from his lips was condescending, even as it was slowly muffled by his own cup of steaming klah. He laughed, and Neil wasn't sure if it was Andrew or Yardith anymore. 

He almost felt ashamed that he couldn't give Andrew a clear answer, even after two weeks, but it wasn't that easy to give up his trust like that. To allow someone to protect him. Silently, he sipped at his drink, then allowed Andrew to take his mug back to the sink. 

He was about to go to change into his running clothes when Andrew started to move towards the door, but then the blond quirked a finger at him and Neil felt obliged to follow. “I’m supposed to take you to get your Hatching clothes.” Andrew finally said, and Neil locked the door behind him.

“Where?” Neil wondered, and fell into step beside him. Andrew didn’t answer, and Neil fell back into an awkward silence. He knew Andrew was upset with him, and understood that there was nothing he could really say to make it better besides accepting Andrew’s invitation… Still, he wasn’t sure if he could. This was something completely different from falling, and he was afraid that if he gave this up, Andrew might turn out to be less of a hero than he needed. 

They walked in silence through the Weyr, half bowing to everyone they passed and smiling in greeting- or at least Neil did. Andrew continued forward with a vacant smile that didn’t meet his eyes. It was almost too much to bear, until Andrew finally turned down a familiar hall and they nearly ran into Damien. The bright eyed boy recognized them immediately and smiled happily, giving them each a bow.

“Momma was just wondering if you would come today, Neil!” the child grinned, then turned to Andrew. “You’re Rider Andrew, right? Of Yardith, from last time where you were going to get Neil his clothes, right? He’s lucky to have someone like you taking care of him- Momma says half the dragonlings here don’t have Hall, Hold, or Sire to rely on, so it’s always good to have one responsible one in the wing!” the child grinned. Neil shifted uncomfortably, not really sure how to respond to that. He didn’t know what a dragonling was, either, but knowing the weyr, it probably just meant a young weyrling who had yet to impress. When he glanced over at Andrew, however, he was shocked to see the blond’s smile had shifted into something… different. “Momma’s in there, and I have a few errands to run, but I can show you the right size robes if you want?”

“Do you know where they are?” Andrew asked, and his amused voice was somehow less cruel than it usually was. Damien nodded, reaching out to grab Andrew’s hand before turning and starting to walk. Neil tensed up, remembering too well the way Andrew hated to be touched. He was about to reach forward to offer his own and save the child’s life, but Andrew only nodded and started to follow, allowing his hand to be held. 

“Since we got your measurements before, we were able to get you the right size, and some other clothes to change into for the party after, too! And you know, the next day is going to be super busy for you, too! You’ll be the only one responsible for your dragon, after all!” the boy said, pausing at a corner to look around Andrew towards Neil. 

“I’ve been taking lessons,” Neil admitted, recalling all of the things he would have to do just before he would even be able to eat his own breakfast in the morning. Damien laughed easily, and turned another corner before he let go of Andrew’s hand to open the door to a carefully organized clothes closet. He counted shelves and pulled out drawers, following some unknown organizational system before he finally pulled out a bundle almost as large as the one he had come to Neil’s room with when they first met. Before Neil could thank him, the child stood on the tips of his toes to reach a shelf on the other side of the small room, picking up a small, squat bottle that had a long, tapered top that screwed in, handing it over. 

“It’s extra Sightroot. We have plenty here, so tell us if you run out.” The child sounded stern for a moment, and looked so much like his mother that Neil almost bowed to him. Andrew, on the other hand, reached over and took it from Neil to place it back on the shelf.

“He doesn’t really need it- it’s best to leave that for people who do, or you’ll run out when you really need it.” the blond said, voice half a song. 

“Oh… Then, if it’s just to look pretty, do you want eyeline ink?” asked Damien, turning worried eyes up to Neil. “We have a lot of that, too, but I’ll have to bring it to you later tonight or send it up tomorrow with breakfast. Just about every Green and Gold rider uses it, so it’s really not a problem.”

“Yes, thank you.” Neil nodded before Andrew could insert himself again, and earned a bright smile from Damien before the boy clapped his hands together. 

“Then I have to go now. I’ll tell Momma you got your clothes, so she’ll know not to send you more. Good luck, if I don’t see you until after! I can’t wait to meet your dragon!” grinned the child, bowing to both of them before he darted off down the hall again, leaving the two in awkward silence again. Neil started to say something, but Andrew was already walking away. Sighing, Neil followed and soon realized that they were going back to Wymack’s apartment. Thinking Andrew was just going to drop him off, Neil was honestly just thankful that the whole awkward encounter was nearing an end. 

To his immense disappointment, Andrew waited for him to put the clothes on top of new chest as there was hardly any room inside, made him change into his training clothes, and made sure he knew they were going for a run. At least that wasn’t so bad, though, as the majority of the time Neil was too busy trying to keep a steady, even breath to worry about talking. Only when Andrew turned down a path Neil had only ever seen from the sky that he dared speak. “Are we going to the Fox Rocks?” he wondered, admittedly excited. He had heard about the high point that jutted out over a small grove of trees that rested near the heart of the small forest on the eastern side of Palmetto, but it was something of a sacred place, as no one wanted to disturb the foxes that often played happily there. The dragons often looked out over the rocks to watch them, but any time they did, they only dared to stay for a while and always did so in affectionate silence. That Andrew wanted to take Neil there was a bit of a shock, but Neil wouldn’t object to it. 

“For lunch.” was Andrew’s only answer as he sped up just a little. Neil had been wondering what was in the small bag Andrew looped over his back as they left the Weyrleader’s apartment, but he hadn’t wanted to ask just then, in case Andrew got even more upset. Now that Neil knew Andrew intended to have him eat, though, he felt a little guilty. He had just been fussing to himself about how angry he was Andrew made him miss breakfast. 

By the time they got to the top of the slow incline up to the large, flat rocks that overlooked the small grove, the sun was high overhead but they still had more than enough shade from the large trees growing nearby. The sky had several clouds in the sky, and birds sang happily as Andrew started to unpack the bag. It took all of Neil’s self control to stay quiet as long as he managed, but as Andrew pulled out a large bottle of fruit juice, two large stuffed bread rolls filled with breakfast sausages and veggies, a small block of cheese and a handful of large plumbs, he found his anger steadily rising. 

“Andrew- what the hell is this?” he asked finally, frowning. The blond only smiled up at him, eyes so intense, Neil had to remind himself that Yardith hadn’t joined them. 

“Lunch.”

“Yea, I can see that. But why?” 

“You don’t trust me.” 

“What does that have to do with lunch?”

“Won’t you run away?” Andrew’s question sent Neil reeling, and his anger halted abruptly, tangled up in his sudden confusion. 

“What…?” was the lame excuse for an answer Neil offered up to him.

“You don’t trust me. You think none of this can possibly last. So, I’m throwing you a going away party.” Andrew grinned at him, reaching over to hand him one of the rolls. “Since I can’t change your mind, I might as well show you what you’d be throwing away, so you can remember it when they finally kill you.”

“... The foxes…?” Neil felt himself deflate as confusion warred with indignant rage. Andrew had been so strange all day- and now this? It was a riddle that was too hard to understand. Then Andrew lifted his hand and swept a pointing finger in a wide circle as he turned on one knee.

Neil paused for a moment, then followed the finger, letting his eyes scan over the small forest and shallow cliffs they were closer to, then around to the beaches that would steam from the vents, remembering that somewhere down there was an entrance to the nesting grounds. His eyes slowly scanned up the side of the Weyr, and he noticed the dragons sunning on the rocks off to one side, then the skies scattered with other dragons and fire-lizards. 

At the North side of the Weyr was the waterfall that fed a winding river that made its meandering way down to the small but industrious town, and Neil suddenly realized that he could see all the way out past that to the docks and cove. One of the meandering bends of the river twisted around the wide, hilly expenses that made up the farmlands, though Neil was too far away to see any of the specific crops or animals grazing. He couldn’t see past the trees that sprouted to mark the edge of the farm lands, but he knew that on the other side of the hills was a lagoon that also fed into the ocean on one side and a series of abundantly rich heated mineral pools on the other. Those, Neil knew, would dot the old volcanic rock in a series of beautifully steamy circlets until jutting right up against the side of the Weyr on the other side. 

He hadn’t even really considered that the elevation of the rocks jutting out over the fox’s playground made it the ideal spot for viewing the majority of the mountain while still standing firmly on the ground. No wonder it was considered such a sacred spot! His breath caught as his chest throbbed painfully as he finally finished his circle and let his eyes rest on Andrew. The blond smiled back, and pressed the roll into his fingers before settling against the tree, a plumb in hand. 

“Everything.” 

“I can’t have this.” Neil felt his throat squeeze and heard his voice straining against the sensation. 

“This is mine.” Andrew said with another look around, smile now shifting to something satisfied.

“Dragons can’t hold land.” Neil reminded him, but the dismissing flick of Andrew’s fingers told him that was irrelevant. 

“Before I Impressed Yardith, all I could do was run, and struggle.” Andrew’s blue eyes cast down towards the grove, and Neil could hear a strange chattering sound drifting up before he noticed the foxes darting in and out of shade. He watched them and tried to burn their happy images into his mind over the already seared image of Andrew’s scars. “I was weak, even if I had to fight every day and had nothing of my own because I had no strength to hold it. Even when I ran, it was never far enough away- only ever towards another thing I had to fight.”

Neil swallowed hard as Andrew so easily read the pages of his own past. “And then someone told me I had something, whether I wanted it or not.”

“A dragon?” Neil asked quietly, not wanting to break Andrew’s monolog but needing to know. 

“Aaron.” The silence that stretched out seemed to be carried in on a salty breath of wind, and Neil took a moment to fill his lungs with the scent of dragons and the ocean, refusing to let his confusion make him speak again. “He wanted Ardanth, and Ardanth wouldn’t leave Yardith’s side. Not even to go Between.” 

Neil remembered that dragons who didn’t have a weyrling to impress would go Between, and wondered just how strong the brown’s bond was with his blue brother that he wouldn’t even leave to go Between properly. He wanted so desperately to ask how twins could have such different dragons- Ardanth was a huge brown that was bigger than many bronze dragons Neil had seen, and while Yardith was no small thing himself, he was certainly not the powerhouse Ardanth was. And what did it say about the brothers that even while they were so different, they sounded so similar? And what about the fact that Ardanth was the one who wouldn’t leave Yardith? And yet Neil hadn’t ever seen the two dragons be too overly affectionate to each other. He hadn’t seen their riders really talk that much at all either, though, so maybe Neil was just overlooking some bond that he couldn’t possibly comprehend as an outsider. 

“Dragons can’t hold land, you said?” Andrew half sang at Neil, who nodded slowly. “But I did what I had to keep Aaron, and he’s mine. He holds Ardanth, and Ardanth holds him, so they’re both mine. Yardith is mine. Nicky, for all he’s worth, is mine. So is Hemmi. Kevin came to me, and his K’holinth. They are mine. I hold them- I keep them.” And now, Andrew waved a lazy hand over the horizon and gave Neil a chuckle. “We live here, and when Thread falls, we will fly the skies and protect this land. My dragons. My weyr. This is all mine.” 

Neil stared at him, wishing he could say something to dispute Andrew’s claim. He was just one small dragon man. He was just one PERSON. Slowly, Neil let his eyes leave Andrew, and study the island around them. After a long moment, he leaned down and took a bite from his roll, turning to memorize the rest of the island, too. 

By the time they left Fox Rocks, they only had an hour to get back and pull on their riding gear before they had to hurry and saddle Yardith before practice started. For as much as they rushed, though, Neil was a little disappointed when Kevin started them out slow and only kept a steady pace as the day continued. He was about to ask what the problem was when he noticed that just about every dragon had been glancing over their shoulders towards the steaming sands where the hatching grounds were. Kevin and the others tried to urge them to continue to practice, but the dragons were more and more distracted by the hour. Where he would have snapped and barked at the Riders, Kevin folded to the dragons and called off the practice, urging everyone to go and wash their dragons, putting special emphasis on making sure to apply the soothing oils that would make their hides glow and prevent scaly patches as they continued to grow and fill out. 

Neil expected Kevin to make him and Andrew stay later, but even he darted out into Between as soon as everyone else had. Andrew, turning Yardith, quickly followed, even before Neil had a chance to dismount. He found himself helping to bathe the huge blue dragon, scrubbing the sweat and dirt away before using a towel to vigorously rub in the cinnamon smelling oils, but he wasn’t too upset at that. He liked to help take care of the dragons, and the hard work usually gave him time to think. After the morning he had had, he really needed it. 

It hardly took as long as he wanted it to, though, and before long they had finished wiping the last of the oils off, leaving Yardith brilliantly colored and subtly gleaming in the early evening sun. He turned to go back towards the training grounds since he still had on his riding gear, but Andrew told him to follow the group back to the Den instead. Neil was curious, but didn’t protest, a feeling of anticipation affecting even him as all the dragons turned their heads towards the steaming sands. 

Neil had been to the Master Healer's apartments a few times since that first night but he had never gone past the main rooms where most guests were entertained. The living room, kitchen, dining room, or first bathroom were large enough that he suspected there was hardly anything more to see besides the bedrooms. He had to admit that he was curious to see how the others actually lived, but he was also wary going into a new place where he had no clear escape routes. 

What he didn't expect, though, was the way the apartment opened up after the initial greeting area. There was another large living space- an actual den that was recessed into the stone floor that was full of cushions and pillows and blankets with heavy tapestries playing counterpart to gossamer and silk curtains and chords of rich, earthy tones. At the front of the room was a small Harper stage with a variety of well crafted but not overly expensive instruments. Past that were the rooms, which were also spacious, having large bedding rolls that were almost as thick as Neil's whole torso laying flush against the floor and piled high with pillows and blankets for comfort. 

Each room had ample glows lining the walls, spinning fans high in the ceiling, and healing supplies just inside the door. Neil got the impression that the extreme comfort was meant to ask the fact that these were long care facilities, and wasn't too shocked to see that they each came equipped with their own large stone balcony with a wide, deep stone ledge overhead as protection from Thread. He was sure the thick metal railing prevented a steep fall, but they also added to scenery out over the ocean and it absolutely breathtaking, reminding him of Fox Rocks immediately. 

There were ten rooms in total with three of the doors closed, and Andrew took him into one at the end of the hall. 

"Go and take a shower and get dressed." Andrew demanded, handing Neil a bundle of carefully folded clothes with a basket full of soap and oils and pushing him towards another door just on the other side of the hall from his room. Neil took the clothes- then the thick soled white sandals Andrew handed to him. "And wash the Sightroot off your eyes." 

"I need it." 

"Don't you?" Andrew snapped back at him, then pointed to the door. Frowning, Neil left, feeling like he had all those nights ago where all he had to do was say he had had enough and walk away. He could just tell Andrew that he didn't want to play. He could just say that he was uncomfortable and scared. But he didn't. He made his way across the hall. 

Inside was another bathing room, though this one only had a single shower in the corner and four large pools full of water that continuously flowed into them and drained out through the floor, keeping them clean and no doubt adding to whatever water pressure system the weyr used for energy generation. Neil was thankful that the others were already there and had efficiently filled one of the pools with enough hot water that the room was too steamy for them to see his scars as he quickly lowered himself into the side farthest away from them to bathe. Andrew joined him on his side after a few moments and Neil found himself thankful again when the others wrapped themselves in towels and left before he was finished. 

Quickly, he finished up, taking a daring peek in the small mirror at the top of his spare bathing basket. The thick black marks around his eyes reminded him that Andrew wanted him to remove the Sightroot, and he frowned. He had gotten good enough at applying the paste now that the lines didn't even wave, and the rounded curves conformed tight enough to the shapes of his eyes that at first glance it just looked like he had thicker eyelashes. It helped that he also used the brush to paint his eyelashes, making sure the usually brownish hairs didn't catch the light and shine a rusty red. But Andrew wanted it off. Neil could say no. He could… but as he took a deep breath, he knew that he wouldn't. He didn't know what Andrew had planned, but whatever it was, it would only be hindering himself to say no. Sighing, he leaned forward and started to scrub the sponge rock loaded with a vanilla scented soap gently over his face. 

When he was done with that, he quickly toweled off and hurried to get changed, realizing that the clothes he was shoving on were the finely woven clothes Damien had given him just that morning. Following that realization was the memory of the way the dragons had been so distracted, and the way Kevin and Andrew had whispered together quietly, then called a fire-lizard to them before sending it off again with a message strapped to it’s leg. As cute as the creatures were, they couldn’t carry full conversations like the beautiful dragons. Instead, they sent fleeting mental images and were much better off as messengers if they had something written accompanying their mental flashes. They must have sent for Neil’s clothes when they realized, too.

Feeling the finely woven tunic against his scars, and knowing that the ropes that tied his pants at the hips and shins were made of silk, he wondered just how much money they had spent on him- and if they spent the same amount of money on every weyrling if these clothes were just for the Impression. When he was finished, he took a deep breath and looked down at himself. His creamy white outfit was tight, and fit his body too comfortably, causing him to check and recheck that his scars weren't visible. There was a sheer white robe that hung off his shoulders, but that did little to make him feel comfortable or more concealed. If anything it reminded him of a bride’s veil when he pulled the hood up over his head and saw the intricately sewn dragons dancing around the trim. If anything, it made him feel like he was about to get married or something. Still, what could he do? Not wear it? 

When he walked back into Andrew’s room, he noticed that the whole group had gathered there, every single one of them turning to look at him. Neil immediately felt tense and defensive. Not only had the Sightroot washed off too easily, but the soap had apparently helped to neutralize the effects as well and his eyes were very nearly back to their original light blue. He had only rinsed his hair after that, opting instead for getting most of the sweat out and using the light conditioning oils to help clean it instead of risking the dye coming out. 

"Oh, it worked!" Smiled Andrew, already standing up and moving towards Neil. Everyone was dressed similar to how he was, showing off elegant robes and tunics in deep black and silver, though theirs were all trimmed with the too bright orange that identified the Foxes. It was strange to see them wearing it over their riding gear, but it didn't look bad at all. If anything, it looked like the clothes were MADE to be worn with the thick black leather and made them all look like stylish members of the same party. Andrew, on the other hand, was dressed in a nearly matching outfit to Neil, only his was a bit looser and pitch black to match the riding gear he had pulled on again. Only his robe was a deep, dark silver, thicker and less sheer than the one Neil wore. 

Nicky stared shamelessly from across the room as Andrew walked right up to Neil, running hands up into the sheer robe’s hood and through his hair to tug him closer so that he could see Neil's eyes. Neil noticed the look the green rider exchanged with Aaron, but was too tightly wound to care.

"What kind of soap was that?" Neil asked, though he didn't pull away from Andrew. 

"Specially made by Abby. She says it even fades the Bluebush ink they use to mark Shunned. Something about the chemicals in it- science or something. I thought it would work on you…" Andrew grinned, leaning even closer. Neil frowned, but still didn't move to get more space. He noticed, though, that his stiffness did nothing to fade Andrew’s medicinal smile and his body was close enough to feel his heat. Neil wondered if he would press their foreheads together like that morning, too, but that somehow felt too… private. 

"Do you wear the root to hide the color of your eyes?" Wondered Kevin, walking up to them. Andrew moved away from Neil, letting his hands fall, and Kevin leaned forward to get a good look. He tilted Neil's chin up so that he could see into his eyes, and Neil felt a blush try to rise in his cheeks. It only lasted a moment, though, until Andrew reached up and moved Kevin's hand away, turning him towards the balcony. 

Neil noticed Yardith and K'holinth had made their way up to the large balcony here and curled up together with just enough room for them if they tangled their limbs and rested their heads on each other's backs, eyes still gazing in the direction of the hatching grounds.

"I saw a painting of the Butcher in the Records Crafthall. That's got to be it." Andrew laughed and started for the balcony, just as Neil felt something too hot bubble up in his chest, causing Neil to press his lips together firmly for a moment. "You shouldn't wear it anymore if you don't need it."

Yardith slowly raised his head then, and detangled his brilliant blue limbs from K’holinth’s shining bronze with an almost painfully slow grace. --Could you be jealous?-- Yardith teased, just as a slowly building humm started to fill Neil’s ears. K'holinth opened his eyes at that, and stared right at Neil, causing Kevin to look up as well, then Nicky and Aaron. 

"I'm not," Neil denied, feeling his cheeks burn with all the eyes on him now, hoping they didn’t think he was the one causing that humming-- then hoping even harder that they hadn’t heard Yardith’s accusation. 

"Neil, we can't all hear the dragons. You'll have to tell us what you're so obviously NOT," Kevin frowned over at him, even if all the cousins stood, clearly ready to go somewhere. 

"Where are we going…?" Neil wondered hesitantly, hoping to change the subject even as Andrew pushed him towards the balcony as well.

"Dragons sing for a birth- so this must be the hatching," Nicky shrugged as he leaned over the balcony. As he got closer, Neil realized that it jutted so far out over the side of the Weyr that there was ample room for a full grown dragon to swoop under. With a short pause, Neil knew Hemmi had popped out from Between and Nicky hopped down from the railing to land in her saddle. Aaron did the same with Ardanth, then Kevin hopped onto K'holinth and the dragon lazily dropped from the ledge, leaving only Neil, Yardith and Andrew. 

"Are we going to the Impression?" Neil asked, nervousness making his fingers tremble. He wasn’t ready! 

"You will trust me." Andrew said, reaching forward and shoving him. He was surprisingly strong, and Neil had no choice but to move forward and step into the stirrups. Andrew hopped up behind him, hands on his belt for a moment before he leaned forward. "You don't have to come, though. You don't have to allow me to take you there. You can get off and say you don't want anything to do with us."

"You said that during training," Neil frowned. For a moment, Andrew was silent. 

"I mean it. You have a choice, and you always will. I'm pushing your limits, but only to see how far you'll let me go. So far, you seem like you hate me, but you keep coming back. You act like you would rather not be here, and yet here you are. I want to know what is real, and after today, you won’t be able to hide it from me. Your dragon won’t be able to afford your mistakes." This time, Andrew sounded quiet, and Yardith rumbled beneath them. 

"If I impress," Neil said after a moment, tensing for the disappointment from earlier that morning. 

"If you impress, I will take care of you and your dragon, but only if you let me. Only if you trust me. I won't force you to take me. And I won't take a half assed answer. Either you're mine or you're not." Andrew finally said, and Neil half twisted in the saddle to look back at him. Neil felt the weight on his shoulders, and knew Andrew was asking to push his limits. 

"I'm not something you can possess," Neil said almost involuntarily. He could almost feel Andrew frown at that. 

"I want your consent. Your 'Yes', to be able to protect you and do what's best for you so you don't go running headfirst into your own death, taking your dragon with you. That's what I want from you, and it’s different from possessing you. You won’t be my slave and I won’t ever try to make you go past any hard limits you set for me. But I won't force you, and I want you to know that." Now, Neil could hear his smile again, even as he recalled Wymack and Nicky warning him about the exact opposite. 

"That doesn't make any sense," Neil tried to turn to look at him even more, but it hurt, and Andrew's hands lowered to his thighs to allow him more flexibility. Neil tried not to think about them. "Why do you even want to take care of me? Why would you risk it? Why am I important?"

Andrew smiled, and leaned back to better look at him. "You're interesting." Andrew said softly, as if it was a secret to be hidden by the rising dragon warbles filling the night air. "You entertain me. I want to see how far you're willing to let me go, and how long you're willing to come with us."

"What happens when you get bored of me?"

"Keep my interest." 

"Or die?" Neil asked. Andrew's smile remained on his face, even as he shook his head. 

"Oh, Neil. You literally will have an entire army of dragons at your back, whether you decide to take me up on my offer or not. This entire weyr is still mine. Palmetto is still mine. The only way you die is if you keep putting yourself in danger." Andrew shrugged. "I honestly have no idea why you keep running. Maybe you need to be kept?"

Neil fell silent when Andrew reached up to reposition his veil, thinking about it. Did he need to be kept in order to stay? He was scared- and didn't want to put anyone else in danger. He didn't want people to be killed because he was the son of a dangerous man. He really had no clue how Andrew could protect him, and even if he could trust Yardith to catch him if he fell, how could he trust Andrew to protect him from men who apparently had no problem cutting a dragon man to pieces? Who was to say that Andrew couldn't be captured and tortured like that? 

Then, he remembered Kevin and all the promises Andrew had given him up on Fox Rocks. Kevin been there, too, at Telgar. Had grown up with the evil Dragonriders who would kill their own kind? His K'holinth had his wing broken- and hadn't Kevin broken his legs because he had been strapped on with something other than riding straps... And yet he trusted Andrew. He came to Andrew and became one of his.

"Would you keep me the way you keep Kevin?" Neil asked, unable to stop himself. Andrew scoffed, and removed his hands. 

"If that's what you want. But first you have to give yourself to me entirely. And I can see that's going to take a lot of work." Andrew grinned, shifting his weight behind Neil and leaving him no choice but to turn around again. "This hatching is going to make you vulnerable, and push you until you give up everything. I'll be there to protect you through the whole thing, though, so you really shouldn't cry. Then after, once you decide if you still want to be mine or not, we'll talk."

"Again, you're not very persuasive," Neil sighed.

"Yes or no, Neil?" Andrew asked him again, and Neil felt his mouth go dry as he settled his hands into his lap, realizing that he wasn’t wearing any riding straps over his pretty outfit. He didn't know what he wanted… but… if Kevin could try it, then maybe he could, too? He would ask Kevin why he trusted Andrew so much, once they got to the hatching grounds. Then, he could decide what to do after. For now, all he had to do was let Andrew take him to Impression and protect him through the night. He only had to give as much as he wanted. And for all he knew, he might not even Impress. After another pause, Neil nodded. 

"Yes." He agreed, and suddenly they were falling into a lazy spiral, the salty night air brushing Neil’s veil back. He closed his eyes as they fell, his entire body relaxed, knowing that he shouldn't reach forward to touch the ridge right in front of the saddle for support just as much as he knew Yardith wouldn’t drop him this time.


	6. Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impression is finally here! The eggs are cracking on the steaming sands and Neil has made his choice! Will he stand strong, but backpedal again, to Andrew's frustration?

When Neil next opened his eyes, he was startled to find himself surrounded by dragons. Old and young- slim greens whiplashing through the air and chorded bronzes beating powerful wings- each and every one of them thrilling or warbling or crooning. Their voices vibrated the air, and seemed to bounce off of Neil's bones as he tried to count them. The last time he had seen even half as many dragons was when he had stopped over at a Gather in Fort Weyr one year and saw the tail end of an Exy match. He had been so excited, and wanted to stay even longer but it was too dangerous. There were too many people- too many dragons and Lord Holders who might recognize him. But now, he knew they were THERE for him. 

Not just him- all the Weyrlings hoping to Impress. He caught sight of a young girl clutching white faced to a large Bronze, her pale ceremonial robes fluttering around her and making her look like a beautiful young bride. To his left, there was a brave young man just a few turns younger than himself, laughing in excitement and chatting easily with the rider of the speedy green they rode. He even caught sight of Wy'Rhaun and Wymack, and wondered if the pretty girl riding with them was the hopeful queen he had heard talk about. 

Andrew leaned forward against Neil's back and the pressure from the cushion made him lean forward until Andrew could grip the ridge. "We won't crash," the blond reassured Neil playfully as they came so dangerously close to doing so. Too many dragons crowding in to swoop under the low rock ledge that hid the way the steaming beach sands rose up into the hatching cave. As his vision clouded, Neil felt himself shake with the fear that the dragons would lose track of each other and bump wings because they flew too close. They did not, though, and Andrew laughed in his ear as they suddenly tilted up, breaking out of the crowded stream of dragons to land at the edge of the hatching grounds. 

Neil could see a small group of youngsters, all ranging from twelve to eighteen, clustered on the hot sands. Some of them held each other in fear, some stood as boldly as they could, trying not to look silly as they shifted from foot to foot. One girl wept and tried to turn to leave the bowl, but Lynth gave her a hissing screech and she stumbled back, wailing like a child even though she was one of the eldest there. Yardith landed gracefully, and Andrew helped Neil down, making sure to lift his veil again as he did so. 

"Remember, dragons feed off of your emotions and come out intelligent. If you're meant to be Impressed, you will be." 

"And what if I'm not?"

"You still have me for the night."

"Will I still have to go to the party?"

"You're stalling, Neil. Cowards aren't pretty." Andrew laughed at him as he turned and bolted up onto Yardith again, graceful and fluid. Neil envied him his grace, but took a step back and closed his eyes as sand whipped up from the takeoff. It took a moment to find him again, but when he did, Neil's stomach dropped. Yardith had circled high above, nearly to the ceiling of the huge cavern, and as he did, Neil finally noticed that the walls were positively swarming with spectators. 

The last time Neil had visited the hatching grounds, it was so misty he couldn't see the ceiling, or high up the stone shelves for seating went. Now, the glows were bright and the dragons and fire-lizards lining the highest shelves were beating their wings ever so often. Neil wasn't sure if it was intentional or now, but that was what had made the entrance so thickly laden with steam and the sands positively bloom with smoke. They were pushing it out of the cave and now, only a foot or two remained bubbling up from the sands. 

That left a clear view of the hundreds of faces- possibly thousands- all staring down at the hatching grounds. There were Holders- Lords and Ladies and their children. Craftsmen with their colorful robes and insignias showing off what Hall they belonged to. Riders with their gear proudly worn, and weyrlings who wanted to watch and see just what to do when their own time came. It was absolutely agonizing to turn and see people watching him from each and every angle, and suddenly he understood why the girl wanted to cry and run. This was torture! Breathing deeply, Neil tried to relax and carefully cast his eyes down. The last thing he needed was for everyone to see his face- to recognize his eyes! Now, he was suddenly too thankful for his veil. As sheer as it was, no one could clearly get a look at his face if he kept it down, and he knew from his lessons that as long as he lifted it long enough to let his dragon get a clear look into his eyes, that was all he needed to Impress. IF he could impress.

Another loud hissing screech from the queen told him that more dragons were dropping off their passengers, and Neil spared a glance. He was standing off at a distance from the others, but he had the perfect vantage to see the Wymack help the girl down from Wy’Rhaun’s back, and three more boys were left as well before the other dragons lept into the sky to join those up top. Instead of following them, Wy’Rhaun and Wymack moved to the front of the nest, joining Lynth. The huge golden dragon leaned into the comforting curve of Wy’Rhaun’s neck, and his croons settled her nervousness enough to quell her snappy nature just as Neil noticed a young woman rush up to Wymack and give him a hug. Dan, Neil realized as he remembered her picture from the training room. 

Wymack embraced her, then gave her head a fatherly pat before he turned his attention towards the sands, saying something Neil couldn’t hear but that clearly settled Dan just as easily as Wy’Rhaun had settled Lynth. Moments later, another bronze landed and dropped off yet another boy on the grounds before leaping off to the ceiling. His rider, on the other hand, moved up to stand with Dan and Wymack. When Dan moved to hug this man, too, Neil guessed that it was probably her boyfriend, Matt. It was an interesting thing to see, especially when Lynth and Wy’Rhaun both craned their necks and landed swirling eyes on Matt’s Marthe. The second bronze dragon warbled out to them affectionately as well, but their conversation must have been private, because not even Neil could hear. Dan stood between Wymack and Matt then, and Neil noticed that behind them, the tapestry door opened to admit Abby and another woman dressed in Harper blue trimmed with Healer white and red. 

He wanted to watch them more, but the small crowd down on the sands was getting too large, and the sands were too hot even for his thick sandals. The dragons sang too loudly, and the crowd was chattering, reminding Neil that they were all watching him. Maybe not him specifically, but no matter what he did, someone’s eyes would be glued to him at one angle or another. His nerves were shreds, and he honestly did consider trying to make a run for it like the still weeping girl from before, knowing that if Lynth was distracted with Wy’Rhaun he could get away. 

When he heard the first crack, though, he knew it was too late. The crowd gasped as one and half the weyrlings on the sands took a terrified step back. Neil’s frozen legs wouldn’t allow him to mimic them, though, and when the second crack echoed out, he was thankful that they wouldn’t. The slime coated wingtip that curled around the gaping crack sent a terrified shiver down his spine, and for a moment he thought that the dragon was an unnatural purple. Then, the slime shifted and he realized the tip was blue and the red must have just been fluids from the egg. Two eggs away, there was another loud crack, and suddenly a screeching bronze lump of ungainly bones and hide tumbled forward, one wingtip caught on a sharp ridge of his own egg. 

The laughing boy who had ridden in on the green cried out in agony and raced forward. Confused and feeling his own instincts to run, Neil almost darted forward as well, but then the boy’s hands were coated in ichor and slime as he pulled the bronze’s wing from the egg and helped detangle the wing. Tears streamed down his face as the small dragon wailed out, cry just the same as the boy’s had been not even seconds before. The massive head- nearly as big as the boy’s chest and far too large for the sinewy neck that struggled to support it- tipped back in pain, and suddenly, it fell silent. They had met eyes, and Neil realized with a pang of intense jealousy that he had just witnessed an Impression.

New tears filled the boy’s eyes as he smoothed loving hands over the newborn’s eye ridges and down its neck, murmuring comforts and admirations, and Neil had to look away. His eyes only landed on the blue that had finally come half skipping, half tumbling out of his own shell, though. He rolled himself right into the arms of a boyish looking young girl with mocha skin and a gap in her front teeth that still hadn’t closed as her baby teeth were replaced. The girl laughed in pure delight and hugged the sand covered beast as close as she could, hardly caring that her pretty white clothes got covered with stains. 

All around the hatching grounds, eggs were cracking and dragons were calling out. Sometimes youngsters raced out to meet them, and sometimes the indignant little beasts crawled out to search for themselves. There was another two blues, a beautiful bronze, and even a pair of greens that hatched in rapid succession, and each time Neil had to look away. His chest was tight, and he still hadn’t managed to move an inch from the spot he had frozen in. His feet shuffled, but he bore the pain, terrified that if he moved, he would catch the attention of a dragon, but equally terrified that if he dared move he might miss the chance to do the same.

On one occasion, an absolutely righteous little green burst free from her egg near the center of the sands and immediately swiveled her head around. At the same time, a much larger egg that was set off to one side started to rock and crack. Neil glanced over, curious as Lynth and Wy’Rhaun both started to croon encouragements. He thought that that must have been the golden egg, and let his eyes flicker to the girl Wymack brought in. Two other girls were holding on to either of her hands, but Neil didn’t recognize them. A cry of pain called his attention to the other clump of hopefuls, and he almost took a step back in shock. 

The little green had lunged forward so fast that sand darted up from behind her, and one tall girl tried to reach forward for her. The dragon paused for a moment to look up at her, but then gave an indignant hiss and swatted a wing out to shove her aside. It didn’t hurt the girl, luckily, but she did stumble backward and into the path of another blue, who simply crawled right over her. The sharp hatchling’s claws shredded the tightly woven fabric of her ceremonial tunic and left swelling red lines over her sides and arm before falling into the arms of a wide eyed boy and Impressing.

Still, the green paid no mind, whipping her head around and darting towards another group of boys. The trio gasped, and one stumbled to his back while his friends retreated, leaving him for dead. The small dragon didn’t seem to care about him, though, as she screamed right at the other two, reaching up and hooking her claws in the pant legs of the nearest boy. He fell, and she raked her legs over him, wings flared out and still dripping with egg fluids as she met his eyes. Again, she hissed in rage and whipped around. The remaining boy cried in terror as she leapt from his lacerated friend to try and catch him, too. 

Neil was astonished at her ferocity, and more than a little disappointed at the other boy for running. Yes, the baby dragon had a huge head about the size of his chest, and yes she was easily the size of a small pony not including her slimy wings and whip of a tail, but if he just stepped aside she wouldn’t care about him. She was clearly looking for someone specific. And what sort of dragon rider would he be if he ran from the absolute tiniest of their great species. What would he do when Thread fell? 

Scoffing, Neil turned his attention back to the gold, who had stumbled out of her egg and was making her way purposefully over to the trio holding hands. The first girl made a brave step forward, and reached out to turn the gold’s head towards her, offering a smile. The gold stared for a moment, blinked once, then gave the girl a nudge when a blue dragon that had been mewling for a while started to crawl towards them. The girl blinked in confusion, but as soon as she looked over to the blue, she fell to her knees, clearly taken. The gold moved forward again. 

Neil noticed that the crowd was growing restless, and cries of pain were still filling the air from the rampaging green- growing closer to him with every weyrling she rejected. Someone yelled to have mercy on her boy, and a man growled that someone should take responsibility of the little terror before she killed someone. But really, she was just a small thing- and scared more than angry anyways. If she could just find the person she was supposed to be bonded with, everything would be alright! It wasn’t her fault all of these weyrlings were cowardly idiots! Irritated, he frowned over at the scene, seeing her wailing angrily at a boy and a girl- clearly brother and sister- who refused to let go of each other or look into her eyes. 

Neil was just about to turn his attention back to the sound of another cracking egg, the ever beating wings of the dragons overhead blowing at his veil, when it seemed she heard it as well. She turned her head just a moment faster than he could, and caught his eyes. Neil felt his entire world freeze. --FINALLY!!

The relief that washed over him and forced him down to his knees in the still steaming sands was not his own, but it so completely overruled his absolute terror that all he could do was choke out a strangled gasp. Too soon, the little green had darted across the sand, her eyes whirling the most beautiful blue and green he had ever seen in his life. 

Finally! I was looking all over for you!! Why didn’t you come to me when I called?! I was so scared! I was so afraid I was all alone!-- the dragon wailed at him, pressing up against him and crowding in close. Neil was holding her- brushing his hands over her slime and blood soaked neck and wings. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to!” Neil choked, thoroughly shamed. “I would never do that on purpose! I would never hurt you!”

You are here! I finally found you! After so long- too long! I love you so much!-- the voice was so full of love and devotion that Neil cried out again, his own tears pouring down his cheeks as he stared into her too-big eyes. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his whole life! So beautiful and brave and smart and strong! -- Of course I am! I am yours, Neil. Your Tenith. And you are mine.

“Tenith?” Neil croaked out, and was surprised by the absolute adoration that filled his voice. 

Yes, Tenith. And I am so, so hungry-- she told him, somehow pouring all of the reassurance she had for him knowing her name into the absolute grief she had for her empty stomach. 

“You’re- Don’t tell me you left that wave of destruction behind you because you were HUNGRY,” Neil found himself dumbstruck by her precociousness but not shocked by it. 

And because I couldn’t find you, Neil-- she let him know, her eyes gleaming in what he knew was teasing, even as he was overwhelmed with another wave of her love for him. -- If you had come to me when I first called you, then I would have a full belly by now and no one would have had to get hurt.

Neil somehow found it in him to tilt his head back and laugh at that. She was absolutely PRECIOUS! And so feisty, already!! Somehow, she had turned the absolute tragedy into some sort of morbid joke and had the audacity to blame him for it! He knew then that he could never have loved another creature in his whole life the same way that he loved his beautiful, charming Tenith. 

Don’t laugh at me, Neil! Feed me!-- she shrieked at him, and he finally quelled his laughter, holding his now aching stomach as he stood, feeling the heat from the sand through his pants as the shock of Impression finally wore off. 

“How do, little green?” came a voice from behind him, and both Neil and Tenith turned to see Andrew standing on the sands, large pail in one gloved hand, the whole group behind him.

This one…-- The swirl of emotions from Tenith was almost like a punch in the gut to Neil, and he felt nauseous just facing them.

“I know…” he whispered to her, and she leaned up against his side, deep gurgle in the back of her throat indecipherable. “His name is Andrew.” 

“And I’m Nicky! This is Kevin, and Aaron!” smiled the other green rider.

Andrew has food-- Tenith pointed out, turning her gaze back up to Neil accusingly, as if he was the reason the precious pail was across the sands and not in her stomach. -- You tell him I would fair fine if he came over HERE and didn’t make me work even harder for it. Haven’t I dont enough already?

“Alright, alright!” Neil suddenly laughed again, holding his hands up placatingly as he dashed over to Andrew. 

“She says she’s tired and hungry, so let me have that,” Neil finally laughed, holding his hands out to Andrew. -- That’s not what I said,-- Tenith grumbled behind him, just as Andrew reached a hand down into the pail and plopped a still steaming few chunks down into Neil’s waiting hands. She let out an indignant squawk, all but marching forward a few feet as if her small size could intimidate anyone.

“There’s more where this came from, and you won’t get any stronger if you laze around and wait to be fed.” Andrew smirked down at them both, and Neil so wholly felt the fury that threatened to rise up in the green’s chest that he quickly reached over and shoved the first bloody morsel into her mouth before she could bite Andrew with the same force he had so fervently wished to punch the blond with just moments before. Andrew only laughed at them both, though, handing Neil another handful after the first pangs of hunger and spiteful indignance abated. 

What a feisty little creature-- came a thoroughly amused purr in the back of Neil’s skull, and he turned to see Yardith whirling blue and green eyes down at them, surrounded by K’holinth, Ardanth and Hemmi. When Tenith growled up at him, he and Andrew both laughed, the doubled sound doing something to Neil’s insides that he didn’t even want to start thinking about. -- And quite beautiful as well, of course. I mean no disrespect, young green. Of course you’ll make the perfect dragon for our equally feisty Neil.

I already do-- was Tenith’s response, chest puffed up in pride for just a moment before she seemed to realize that Neil’s hand had gone empty. Peeved, she nipped at his fingers, and he hissed down at her. -- A perfect dragon doesn’t always mean a perfect rider, though, does it, Neil? How can I grow big and strong if you keep refusing to FEED ME?

Andrew and Yardith laughed again and Neil took a deep breath, wishing that Yardith didn’t give a surprised chirp and shift uncomfortably, giving away both of their discomfort with the situation. Andrew only handed over another few handfuls of food until they both calmed down, though, and Kevin encouraged Neil to continue praising her and looking her over to make sure she didn’t have any wounds they might have to take care of. Shockingly, though, she was perfectly healthy. All of the blood on her belonged to her victims, and she was actually one of the larger greens that had hatched, her color brilliant and shining under the layers of sand and slime. 

Once the pail was three quarters empty, the small group started to make their way out of the hatching grounds, following the steady trickle of newly paired riders and their dragons down to the nearest heated pools, the rich mineral waters sure to do wonders for the newly born dragons and clean out any wounds the others might have incurred. Tenith was upset that she had to stop eating to bathe, but when Neil offered her morsels here and there when she obediently lifted a wing or shifted a leg, she easily forgave him and reaffirmed her love for him. 

Really, she was such a charismatic little thing, and Neil would have never expected their bond to be THIS deep! He could hear her thoughts in his head, yes, but he could also FEEL her soul nuzzling right up against his own! It was as if a void he hadn’t even known he had was suddenly filled and he couldn’t love her enough for it! When Kevin handed him the towel and bucket of cinnamon scented oils to soothe her newborn skin, then, he poured as much affection into the chore as he could. Seeing her positively bathe in it, he could only laugh, amazed but again, not surprised. 

"Now come on, it's time to get her to the room, then you'll get your own bath and get changed for the party." Kevin urged, and Neil looked up for the first time since they got to the water. Only then did he notice that the once bustling ground was now only about half full, and many of the young pairs had started to make their way into the bottom levels of the Weyr to presumably do the same. 

He didn't want to pause even a fraction of a second in his bonding time with her, and she complained loudly both in his head and with her wails and plaintive screams that she didn't want to leave either. When a huge yawn interrupted her angry chittering at Kevin for taking the pail away from Neil, though, the new rider had to admit that he would rather have her fall asleep in her own bed rather than on the hard ground and he picked up the pace. 

The small group moved into the Weyr, leaving their older dragons still happily chatting about the precious little one, and made their way into the Weyrling apartments. They were smaller than those in the Healer's Den, but really very similar. The only difference was that there was no fan, the bedroll was smaller and less padded, and there was a small closet and sinkroom and instead of a balcony there was a small dragon ledge just like the one in the Weyrleader's apartment. This one had no ledge to leap off of, though it seemed to make up for that in an abundance of straw bedding. Tenith scrambled up into the straw, yawned as she imperiously demanded more food, and fell asleep as soon as Neil showed her that there was no more left in the pail. Only once she was softly snoring did Neil rock back on his heels, taking a deep breath.

"Oh no, Yardith," Andrew all but purred from the window ledge where he had so casually sprawled. "It looks like Dragonrider Neil is about to wave his white flag. Poor Tenith, to have such a coward for a partner."

"I never said I wasn't going to the party," Neil snapped as he stood up, though he did carefully keep his voice down. Andrew only smirked across the room at him, though, and made a motion towards the door. 

Determined not to hesitate, Neil started for the door, only to pause at the threshold. Andrew was at his back then, and reached forward to dangle a key in front of his face. "Yardith will be watching."

"... " Neil wanted to say something- anything- to Andrew but the words just wouldn't come. The smaller man didn't seem interested in waiting for his answer, though, and soon pushed past him, bumping into him from shoulder to hip just like that first day. Neil bit the inside of his cheek, remembering too well the rush of emotions and mental images Tenith sent him when she first laid eyes on the miniscule dragon boy. This one, was all Neil could think as he closed and locked the door behind himself.

He felt like he was in a daze as they made their way back to the Healer's Den, but when Andrew informed him that he had to go take care of something and disappeared, Neal took the chance to bolt. He thought that he would run from the whole Weyr itself, feeling his feet taking him to the nearest exit, but when he reached a locked door, he paused. He was at the training grounds- past this room was the lounge where the Foxes would meet. The changing rooms where andrew had shown himself off and asked Neil if he trusted him yet. Feeling the delicafe metal bite into the palm of his hand, Neil took a deep breath. Keys meant he belonged. He was trusted.

Quickly, Neil opened the door and rushed to the gear closet, digging through until he found his Sightroot. He clutched it tightly to his chest before locking up again and rushing back. Andrew still wasn't back yet, so Neil hurried to get the remaining clothes of the bundle meant for after the Impression and took the fastest, most thorough shower he could. His clothes this time were elegant robes of the Fox's bright orange, the patterns of the seams mimicking riding gear while the trim around the circle collar and the ankles of his trousers mimicked flying dragons. Only once he made sure the long sleeves of his dark undershirt stayed in place when he turned even when his loose robe flared out in a too bright bloom of Fox orange did he dare turn back to his reflection. 

Carefully, he drew on the dark lines with his brush, making sure they were even and his lashes were dark. Finally. Finally, he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as the tingling sensation started up around his eyes. When he next opened them, they were a comfortable, uninterestingly dull shade of muddy brown. He took another few breaths, and finally nodded to himself. Now, he was ready. He tucked his tiny bottle into his robes and returned to Andrew's room, only slightly disappointed that the rest of the crew was back, and Andrew was already waiting for him. 

"Ohh, how disappointing." Smiled Andrew, hands on his hips as he leaned forward, crowding Neil's face to look up into his eyes. 

"I need it." Neil said defiantly. 

"Druggie," Andrew cursed at him, and Neil could almost feel it jabbing at his chest. 

"You could always just make him wash it off." Nicky suggested, and Neil wished someone would sew his mouth shut. 

"No, no, no." Andrew sang, and reached forward to press a hand on Neil's chest, splaying his fingers just like he had on the spiraling staircase. "Dragonrider Neil has made his choice. He said 'I don't trust you, Andrew. I don't think you can really live up to all the hype' and honestly, it hurts a little."

"Don't antagonize him, Andrew." Kevin sighed. The blond pointed a lazy hand across the room at him then, smile broadening into something unnatural.

"No. Shut up. I had him make a choice. He did." Andrew shoved Neil with the hand that was still on his chest, and for a moment, Neil was scared he was being kicked out. 

"No." Now it was directed at Neil. "I told you, through tonight. I told you we would talk after. Unlike you, I don't go back on my word."

"I never gave you my word, though." Neil knew he was trying to make a lie into a truth, and hated himself for it. 

"Your life," Andrew said, and let that accusation sit between them for a brittle second before he turned and started for the door. 

Neil glanced up to see the reactions of the others. Kevin only frowned and followed, Nicky gave Neil a mournful look and placed a hand on his shoulder to give it a firm squeeze as he passed by, and Aaron ignored him, pausing only long enough to lock the door behind them before tossing the keys back to Andrew. 

The party was held in the large communal dining area, with chairs and tables pushed out of the center of the room to allow for harpers to play while people danced. Beal must have been cooking all day to prepare for such a huge amount of guests, and Neil wondered if he would be too bold to go in and thank him later. Maybe just if he had an errand to the kitchens anyway. He didn’t want to be rude but he also didn’t want to call attention to himself. His distraction with the sheer quantity of food was what settled him into the first trap. 

“Oh, isn’t there just the perfect VARIETY of food here?” smiled a middle aged woman, and Neil couldn’t help but think of her as someone’s stereotypical doting mother. He took a couple of steps back to give her room, and she stepped forward, still smiling as she used a set of tongs to put some sliced wery on her plate. 

“Yes… it’s a good thing, too, since everyone must be tired and more than hungry after feeding their dragons,” he said politely, realizing that no one in his group was going to say anything. Had Andrew abandoned him?

The woman laughed delightfully at him, her round shoulders and belly bobbing as she did so, her loose robes ruffling. Neil noticed her crow’s feet and compared them to the lines between his mother’s brows. “Ohh- listen to you! Weren’t you also on the hatching grounds?! You’re positively charming- so polite! As if you didn’t also have to feed and bathe your dragon!” She tittered, quickly handing him an empty plate and starting to fill it with slices of wery as well. “Now, you don’t be shy, and you eat up all you can. You’re a dragon man now, and the whole of Pern tithes to you! Get some meat on your bones so you don’t fly away with the wind at the first sign of Thread!”

“Yes, ma’am…” Neil said quietly, a little bewildered by her motherly ways and wanting nothing more than to run away from her before she could decide to adopt him. Thankfully, Kevin stepped in then, and asked her if she had anyone there at Impression.

As she chatted with him about her beautiful girl who had Impressed a handsome blue all her own, Neil piled as much food onto his plate as he could, and escaped to an empty table. The others got food as well, and sat all around him, his surrogate family in place of the supposedly late fosters that were too busy to see him. Andrew ate little, and said nothing, not even looking over at him at all. Kevin returned shortly, but then they were assaulted by other dragonriders, most of whom knew Kevin and wanted to chat with him and meet the new rider who had enough clout to garner his attention. 

Just as Andrew said, there were people who came wanting to know just about everything about Neil, and they would only be satiated by chatting with Kevin, or in the worst cases a too cheerful ‘fuck off’ from Andrew, even if the blond never said anything to Neil. Only twice did Andrew actually shift to get up from his seat. Once was to hold a blade right up against the throat of a rather pushy young man who claimed to be the son of a holder somewhere far South, determined to dance with Neil at least once. He had come to ask twice before, and on his third attempt, holding a cup of chilled Benden wine, Andrew had had enough. The blade didn’t leave a mark, but from then he sat beside Neil pointedly. 

The second was when someone Neil knew from the North came almost pointedly to talk to Neil. When Neil tensed, and confided in the blond, Andrew got up to meet the man a few feet before he got to them, then turned and walked away with him out of the dining room. Neil had no idea where Andrew went, or why, but when he came back nearly half an hour later, Neil noticed that the sleeves of his tunic were wet and he smelled distinctly of the sea. He tried to ask Yardith what happened, but Andrew only pointed a finger in his face until Neil finally relented, silently agreeing not to ask Yardith any more details. The tension between them was nearly palpable, and after a while Aaron got up and meandered away, going to talk to another group of people. Nicky joined him after downing a few glasses of wine and Kevin simply attended to his plate, working his way through his meal and ignoring them both until someone came around to talk to Neil. 

By the time Wymack, Abby, Dan, and Matt came around, Neil wished he had never come to the party after all. There was so much gossip, so much music and so many different smells and people- too many people walking behind him and around him! All Neil wanted was to go to his room, lock his door, and pack his bag to go. “By the egg, you look like your dragon just jumped Between, boy. What did Andrew do this time?” the Weyrleader demanded, taking a seat even before he was asked. Kevin looked up and nodded to the others, leaning back in his seat. 

“Neil’s just not one for parties- too many people.” Kevin explained, giving him yet another out. Neil spitefully wondered how Andrew could say that he was protecting him at all if he didn’t even bother opening his mouth unless it’s to be rude. If he was going to do that, he should have just stayed in his room.

“Well, lucky for you it’s almost over.” Grinned the golden rider, leaning over and sticking out her hand. “I’m Dan- Lynth’s rider. She was so proud today, but we all know it’s been a long one for the hatchlings. Who did you end up with?”

“Tenith- she’s a green.” Neil said, unable to keep the painfully deep adoration out of his voice. He loved her SO MUCH.

“Hey, wasn’t that the rowdy one that took down five weyrlings on her way around to you?” laughed the younger bronze, a much taller man than Neil initially thought now that they were so close, eyes sparkling as he reached out to shake hands as well and shaking his head when Neil nodded, eyes unable to look away from the strange marks up and down his sleeveless arms. His tunic was opened at the sides and sleeveless- a new style but not inelegant. “Your dragon says a lot about you. Can I ask your name?” 

“Neil.” 

“Welcome to Palmetto, Neil… I see you looking at my marks- the Healers have started calling them tracks- like a path you can follow from some angry beast. By now, you know what Palmetto- what the Foxes- are about. I’m just like everyone else here- I’ve had my battles, and I won. I’m not ashamed of that, either- and no matter what, you shouldn’t be ashamed either.” Matt said quietly, seeing how Wymack was now talking with Andrew and Dan had started up a conversation with Kevin and Abby.

“I’m fine.”

“Yea. We all were at some point or other. Listen, I hope you can make this place your home. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t possible- Weyrleader Wymack has special requirements, but with that comes a chance of a lifetime. I’m not going to bug you about it, just letting you know. I heard you’ve been surviving the monsters for a couple of weeks without our help- but not all of us are angry little demons like them,” Matt said so earnestly, Neil wondered if he wasn’t also using Wymack as a mentor.

“Yea… that’s what Weyrleader Wymack says.” Neil nodded. 

“But the others are all bandaged up and doing just fine. We’re just lucky they all still Impressed. It’s a lot easier to explain it was just an accident from an overeager hatchling to someone who has an overeager hatchling of their own,” Abby was saying as they rejoined the conversation. 

“Were any of them severely hurt?” Neil wondered.

“No- just a few scratches, really. Some will scar, but it won’t be too bad. Your little beastie really did a number today,” Dan said, and Neil thought maybe she sounded a little proud, but her mouth frowned. 

“She said she was really hungry,” Neil explained as best he could.

“And probably didn’t even take a second glance back at those she hurt, huh?” Matt grinned knowingly. 

“Don’t feel too bad about it, Neil. It happens more often than you think. Even Wy’Rhaun caught me down the leg on Impression. It healed up into a nice little scar, but I thought he would cry himself to sleep for hurting me. It’s just a hazard- and you better be ready to get a few more scars, too. Dragons are hard work, and they’re not playthings. You’re going to fall and scrape something up here and there. Best get used to it now, rather than wait for Thread.” Weyrleader Wymack said, his voice fluctuating from pride and affection for Wy’Rhaun and stern forewarning for Neil.

“Geeze, Weyrleader, can you give the kid a break- he just joined us,” Matt grinned, taking a seat as well. Dan soon followed, and Abby settled in just beside Wymack. Neil remembered Nicky’s bet, and pointedly forced his mind away from that topic. It didn’t matter to him.

“Why should I? He’s heard the Harper songs. Everyone on Pern knows Thread is coming- if they have half a glow to think with- and he’s been practicing with Kevin for weeks now. ‘Dragonmen must fly, when Thread is in the sky’ is how the song goes.” Wymack pointed out.

“Yes, but Weyrleader,” Andrew spoke up, grin still too wide and still not pointed to Neil. “Exy is totally different from Thread. You really shouldn’t compare the two.” 

“Exy is TRAINING for Thread. Without Exy, we could end up with whole wings full of dragons who panic or worse. Exy comes BEFORE Thread, and it’s our duty to train as hard as we can. We have this whole island to protect, after all.” Wymack said, and Neil had the feeling that this was an argument they had had many times before. 

“Let’s not give Neil a bad first impression here- pardon the pun. Those two can’t even agree on the color of the sky, so don’t pay them too much mind.” Dan said, waving a hand between Wymack and Andrew.

“Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky stayed, too. Neil’s used to it by now.” Kevin explained to her, and Dan gave Neil a look of pity that he absolutely hated. 

“Regardless, find something else to talk about, boys.” Abby warned them, and Andrew raised both hands in an exaggerated shrug. 

“Then, where’s Bee? I saw her earlier, but since it was so busy, we weren’t able to have our session.” Andrew half sang. By now, Neil was used to it, but something about his tone now was off. After he had come back from the egg only knew where to do only the first Queen knew what with a man Neil was sure worked for his father, something about Andrew seemed… pint up- wound too tight. Neil could only recall the feel of Yardith leaning back, his back legs bunching and coiling in preparation for takeoff, and it made his own body tense in response.

“She’s talking to those who weren’t able to Impress today.” Abby reassured, but Neil went stiff, suddenly remembering his own would-be first Impression. Andrew finally glanced over at him, but after a moment, he turned around to Dan. 

“And where’s Renee?” 

“Her mother came to see the Impression… Why? Do you need her?” Dan asked, and the tension around the table grew. Neil glanced around, but didn’t dare say anything. Andrew was silent, staring at Dan in a way that made Neil worry he was going to leap across the table and try to strangle her. Then, almost as suddenly as it had filled the air, the tension broke and Andrew lowered his hands. 

“Maybe. Maybe later. I have previous responsibilities tonight. I’ll send her a fire-lizard message… Maybe.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Abby said, turning towards Neil in a way that sent him on edge. “Don’t forget to come by my office tomorrow. I’ll have you and your Tenith looked over to make sure there’s nothing stopping you two from growing healthy and strong. Then, before you start your first lessons, make sure you stop by Bee’s. She’ll want to check on the same as well.”

“I’m fine, though. Tenith didn’t hurt me.” Neil protested, mind already racing to try to figure out what he could say to get out of it.

“I know- that’s not the point of it. It’s just mandatory for everyone here, that’s all. Both of them. It’s for the good of your dragon.” Abby’s attention was stolen then when someone came up to talk to her, and another person came around to talk to Dan and Wymack. Neil was left feeling sick to his stomach, half worried about Tenith, half worried about what he would do if Abby or Bee said that he wasn’t fit to ride- that he couldn’t be a dragon man. When he glanced over at Andrew and saw him smiling vacantly down at an empty plate, the worries somehow compounded, and consumed him completely until he found himself on his way back down to his room.

He was only shocked out of his own thoughts when he realized that Dan and Matt were following their small group, and he curiously looked at them, and Matt grinned, clapping a hand over his shoulder. “First wing rooms close together- so we can all go out to fly Thread together. You’re just lucky Kevin wants you with us- as soon as you’re ready, and can actually measure up- you’ll fly with us.” 

“What?” Neil turned back to Kevin, who gave him an irritated frown.

“Why else would I waste all of my energy on you? I knew you would make an Impression, and I need you to be ready to ride with us. If not in time for Exy, then in time for Thread. The numbers say the first falls will come within the next Turn, and your Tenith should be strong enough to fly by then. You will make up for any inexperience she has by having all of the experience she needs,” the bronze rider said, as if Neil should have known.

“But why…?” Neil started, only to have Andrew step between him and Kevin, finally looking up into his eyes for the first time since Impression.

“Not THIS again, Neil. Do we really have to go over it all over again?” he asked, taking a step forward. Neil let him, standing his ground even if he knew- or felt like he should know- he was wrong. “Your Tenith is stirring, green rider. Comfort her for the rest of the night. Yardith will keep watch.”

“Andrew…” Dan frowned over at him, but Andrew had already moved on, moving on in such a way that it reminded Neil of hot Klan and sent a chill up the back of his neck. 

“Listen, don’t let him get to you.” Dan tried to comfort Neil, brows pinched as she watched him scramble to get his keys out. “He’s one of the more difficult members of our Wing. You just have to stay as far away from him as possible.”

“I’m not scared of him,” Neil said, already opening his door and hurrying inside. He had just enough time before the door closed that he could see the troubled look Dan shot Matt just as Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin turned to follow Andrew. He turned the lock as fast as he could. He didn’t need to explain himself to them. Andrew wasn’t someone to be afraid of. Neil knew how to deal with him- he just didn’t particularly feel like doing what he knew was necessary to make things go smoothly for him. And Andrew knew that. He was upset because Neil wouldn’t do that. But he wasn’t scary. 

What was scary was the fact that Tenith might wake up and find herself alone again- as terrified as she had been when she first hatched and cried so piteously for him over and over again until she finally found him. That she might one day open those beautiful eyes and look around and see that some bad man had snatched Neil away from her forever. That she might be so distraught at him not being there for her- strong and smart enough to protect her- that she might go Between.

As it turned out, Tenith was only stirring enough in her sleep to find another warm spot in her thick straw before she fell back asleep, and didn’t need Neil’s attention at all. He still sat at the edge of her bed, watching her sleep and counting the rise and fall of her chest until he fell asleep with straw for a pillow, missing the comfort of Wy’Rhaun’s heavy wing a little too much.

He had fallen asleep so hard and fast that when he next woke, he was too disoriented to even think straight. His long years on the run told him to remain still- to continue an even, deep breathing pattern and forced himself to relax. He was just glad that training with Yardith had allowed him to remain calm enough to get a firm grasp on his surroundings before he realized that the warmth that was pressed up against his front and nuzzling against his chin wasn’t another human, but his beautiful, wonderful Tenith. 

Beautiful, wonderful, HUNGRY Tenith-- she corrected him. --I was waiting for you to wake up for SO LONG.

“I felt it when you laid beside me- how long were you awake before then?” Neil wondered, forcing himself up and feeling stiff as he did so. He should have gotten in the bed- or at least curled up on the straw with her. 

That was forever ago, too.-- she complained, and Neil let out a soft but tired scoff. So basically, she had only just woken up and immediately went to curl up next to him, hungry.

“Alright, alright, I understand. I’ll get up and get you something to eat,” Neil grinned down at her now, standing up and stretching as best he could. All he had time to do was wash his face and brush his teeth before she was swearing she would fall into a heep of starving bones, but when he opened his door, he was more than thankful Kevin was standing there with a pail full of food. “Thank the egg. She was starving!” 

“They’re always starving for the first full week. You won’t have any time for much of anything but feeding them and making sure they stretch and get enough exercise. You’ll be expected to take her to Abby’s right after, so there’s just a little less food here than yesterday.” Kevin said, offering the pail over.

“I really have no choice?” Neil frowned, turning and leaving the door open so Kevin could follow him inside. The bronze rider took the invitation, quietly closing the door behind himself.

“Why don’t you want to go?” 

“Won’t she want to do a full Healer check on me? She’ll ask about my scars…” Neil frowned as he knelt beside Tenith, who already had her mouth open hungrily. 

“She would end up seeing them the minute you got Threadscore as well. May as well do it now.” 

“Healers always want to ask- always want to know more. She’ll want me to tell her-”

“Abby’s not a bad person. And she’s seen more scars than you might think.”

“Not like mine.”

“Like mine. And like Andrew’s.”

“Did she ask you?” 

“You don’t have to tell her. She’s going to be there to make sure a deep scar on your arm won’t prevent you from reaching back and feeding your dragon firestone, not to determine which craftsman made the blade and from which mine he got the ore.” Kevin sighed in exasperation. 

Neil remained quiet, carefully feeding Tenith and keeping her occupied mentally by sending her praise after praise. She was so precious. So beautiful. So wonderful.

“And you know, she’s been working on a special Healer Hall just for dragons? She’s already got four journeymen. If they’re successful in their chosen weyrs come threadfall, they’ll be specialized and there will be healers specifically catering to Riders and their dragons. Don’t you want Tenith seen by the best?” Kevin asked him, reaching out to very gently scratch the ridge over the young green’s closest eye, making her all but melt for a moment before she crooned and opened her mouth for more food.

“For Tenith,” Neil nodded, watching her. “I’ll have to see Bee, too.”

“You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to, either. Not that she’s a bad person, or will push. No one here is going to try to hurt you.”

“Andrew seems to believe the same thing.”

“Andrew KNOWS the same thing. Because if they do try to hurt anyone, he’ll take care of it.” Kevin said, and Neil knew that Andrew ‘taking care of it’ was something that he would not want to ask about.

“Why do you have so much faith in him? How can you trust him…? After Telgar…” Neil swallowed hard now, finding it difficult to ask the question he so desperately wanted now that he had the chance.

“Andrew said he would protect me, as long as I allowed him.” Kevin’s voice was so quiet, Neil wondered if there was something he wasn’t saying. “I have to trust him.”

“But what makes him the one who can… Why is he so powerful? He’s just one man- a tiny man- with one dragon.” Neil finally sighed, shaking his head.

“Andrew’s so strong because he literally LIVES to protect the people who depend on him, Neil.” Kevin sighed. “I… I don’t know if he really can. I’m terrified, honestly, that one day he won’t be able to.” And now, Neil’s heart ached with the reality Kevin was spilling out to him. Not the brave, confident Kevin who knew Exy and dragons and nothing else. But the Kevin who had been tied on with something other than riding straps.

“If you’re so scared, then why do you stay with him?” 

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Kevin finally said. “Neil, I stayed at Telgar. I was raised on a dragon’s back, and we knew, beyond a doubt that Thread would come. I knew my place. I knew what I needed to do. I understood every step my life would take, as Riko’s Wing Second. With Jean as Riko’s Wing Third… Everything was… what I knew.” 

Neil watched him for a moment, then quickly gave Tenith more meat, noticing she was about halfway done already.

“Then the Harpers realized that there was no real need for so many bronzes in one wing, let alone in a single Weyr. They started to ask why some of us didn’t just go off and make our own- better protect Pern. Mate with a Queen, make more dragons. With Testuji about to step down and Riko’s Yamor big enough to fly the queen soon enough, people wondered if there was a reason Riko wanted to keep me. Clip my wings, they said.” There was a long silence in which Neil so fervently praised Tenith and Kevin to thoroughly rubbed at a sweet spot just between her wings that she couldn’t pay attention to their conversation even if she wanted to. Then, Kevin seemed to find something that allowed him to continue. “They heard about how Wymack and Dan tested all the dragons to see their aptitude and thought it was a great idea- why not test me and Riko and see if it wasn’t really that I was better- that K’holinth wasn’t better… Riko won, and they were satisfied. Of course, if K’holinth wouldn’t be able to fly higher and actually catch the queen, it was better for me to stay second. The eggs would be stronger. The Weyr would have better dragons.”

“I never heard about that,” Neil admitted.

“Telgar wouldn’t tell anyone. The Ravens wouldn’t admit to infighting like that.” Kevin took a deep breath, and Neil gave Tenith another handful. “But Riko… our relationship was… different. After my mother died, I was basically given to Riko. I lived for Riko. I was his wing second. That was what I was- Kevin Day, bronze rider of K’holinth, Raven’s wing Second to Riko’s Yamor. That was all I could be. Should be… Neil… You remember the dragon rider your father butchered?”

“I can’t forget him.”

“I would have beat Riko in that competition. K’holinth felt it- and Yamor must have, too. K’holinth purposefully threw it- by just enough to make it seem reasonable. But we all knew that during a mating flight he wouldn’t- we wouldn’t- have that sane control. During a mating flight, you don’t really THINK. K’holinth would end up with the queen, and she would lay HIS eggs. Not Riko’s. I would be weyrleader.” Kevin’s voice was a whisper now, and Neil noticed the way his hand gripped his leg. 

“Riko couldn’t let you do that.”

“That night, he took K’holinth. Took me.” For a long while, Kevin was silent, and Neil knew he was reliving that moment. “He tried to kill me. The only thing that saved me was Yamor, and that… Yamor loves K’holinth.” Kevin’s voice was so full of pain that Neil felt it in his own heart, and Tenith even stopped eating for a moment, shocked at the sudden wave. Quickly, Neil rushed to protect her from it, forcing his love to override the strong emotions and pushing her mouth full of food. He wanted to hear- to know- but he didn’t want Tenith to suffer that, too. 

Admittedly, Neil hadn’t known that the connection between rider and dragon was so strong- hadn’t understood how much personality and intelligence dragons had. He hadn’t FELT that connection. But now that he did, he knew what Yamor’s love for K’holinth meant to Kevin. After all, a dragon was so deeply connected to his rider that if Yamor loved K’holinth, it meant Riko loved Kevin… and yet Riko had done something so terrible TO Kevin.

“In the end, Yamor was so distraught he took us all Between.”

“I didn’t know dragons could take other people Between… unless you were riding them?”

“Riko tied us together,” was all the response Kevin gave, and Neil remembered the metal wire’s marks on his legs and how deeply they must have cut into Kevin’s legs. “Riko was trying to force him back out to Telgar, but Yamor refused. He would rather be lost Between than to watch K’holinth die. When we finally came back out, weeks had passed, somehow. K’holinth was falling, and all I could think about was the trial from Wymack and Dan. Since we had just been to Palmetto to watch how they did it not too long ago, I suppose it was fresh in my mind. We came out of Between again right in the middle of the Weyr. 

“And you fell?” Neil wondered, recalling how K’holinth had no marks from metal wire on HIM. Then again, his legs did have quite a few scars that if he was tied to Kevin and Yamor, then maybe it had only been by one leg, and those scars were covered by others? All Neil had heard about was the broken wing. Still, Kevin nodded.

“Abby found us- nursed us back to health. And then the Impression happened and Andrew and Aaron and Nicky Impressed. It was… shocking.” Now, Kevin’s voice sounded somehow less heavy, and Neil knew the worst of it was over. 

“Andrew told me Ardanth wouldn’t leave Yardith’s side,” Neil confided. 

“It was more than that. Nicky was just old enough to take the twins in as fosterlings of his own. They had a little house they held on the mainland- in Columbia Hold- and they were pretty much just living as best they could. But Wymack and the others Searched and all three of them lit up. Aaron wanted to go, so they all went. Andrew refused to stand on the sand, though. He said he would just watch Aaron- make sure to catch him if he didn’t Impress. But as soon as Ardanth came out, he turned around and started harassing this blue that hatched right beside him.” Kevin half chuckled, apparently recalling the scene. “He pushed and shoved and even got himself all scraped and bruised, till they were all but stumbling up the stairs. People thought Ardanth was trying to kill him- or push him out of the hatching grounds.”

“But he was taking Yardith to Andrew?”

“And wouldn’t even look around till they Impressed. Everyone thought it was over, but Aaron was scared for his brother- since Ardanth wouldn’t even let anyone else get near Andrew and Yardith. He must have thought the crazy brown was going to try to attack Andrew, too. I swear, Aaron would have killed Ardanth with his bare hands if they didn’t Impress right then.” Kevin explained.

“... I didn’t know dragons came out of the egg… knowing their siblings…?” Neil wondered, staring down at Tenith.

“They come out knowing their own names- their mother and father and weyrmates. Why not knowing their siblings?” Kevin reasoned. Neil had no valid argument, so he remained quiet, watching the green slowly finish her meal now that she was mostly sated.

“Andrew didn’t even want Yardith, though…?” Neil wondered in awe.

“It wasn’t like that at all.” Now, Kevin sighed and leaned back, rocking until he could stand. “Andrew just wanted to live.”

“I don’t understand…?”

“It’s not my place to say- I shouldn’t, really- but you asked me why I trust him.” Kevin went over to Neil’s sink and washed up. “Before Andrew knew he had a brother, he didn’t really have any reason to live. Protecting Aaron gave him strength. He was able to keep going because he had someone to protect- who needed him in a way no one else had. Everything he did was to make sure Aaron had the best quality of life, and his own came second hand- even if he hated it. It’s… complicated. Having someone who needed him was the last thing Andrew wanted. He hated Aaron was there, but since Aaron was, he had no choice but to become a man who COULD protect him. There was no other option.”

“Protecting Aaron gave him a reason to live…?” Neil wondered, eyes locked on Tenith, who crooned back at him lovingly, making his heart ache in a way he had to scramble to hide from her. He thought he understood.

“Andrew did what he had to to make sure Aaron was safe. Anything he had to do- everything he had to do. And became stronger. He even came to a hatching for Aaron. And when Aaron’s Ardanth refused to leave Yardith, it was like he just got stronger. I asked him about it, after. I saw his scars, when he was washing up, and saw…” Kevin was looking down at his own arms, and Neil understood. “He made himself strong. He lived, for protecting someone, taking care of them. That was his reason to live. What he had to keep living for. Aaron- then Nicky. When he nearly killed those men for Nicky, it was proof- he would do anything- even kill- for HIS own. Even when they put him on Felicity, that didn’t change anything. Now, he just does it with a smile and a shorter attention span.”

Now, Kevin turned and started to pull on his gloves so that Neil could wash up as well, having fed Tenith the very last morsel. “I had nothing to live for- nothing but K’holinth- and I wondered why that wasn’t enough for me. I was ALIVE, but I had lost everything I knew. My family- my Weyr. My ‘Wing Second to Riko’s Yamor’. All I knew was flying Thread and being in a Wing- flying my dragon, and that was taken away from me. 

“Andrew told me he would protect me, if I let him. He would help me ride again, and help me protect K’holinth when Thread finally fell. But only if I was one of his… and only if I helped him when he came off of Felicity. Not help him as in keep a smile on his face or anything, but help him when his reason for being strong left and he didn’t have the root to keep him happy whether he wanted to be or not.” Kevin watched as Neil helped Tenith off of her straw bed and made her do the morning stretches every young dragon needed to do in order to allow their food to digest and their muscles to grow strong and flexible. 

“But doesn’t he have Aaron and Nicky?” Neil wondered, trying hard not to think about the self inflicted scars. 

“Aaron and Ardanth are almost grown now- Ardath is the largest brown we’ve seen in entire generations of dragons. He’s going to fly and catch a Queen one day. We all can see that. And Nicky already has his boyfriend. Once he- his name is Erik- once he’s ready to settle down with Nicky, Nicky’s going to transfer Weyrs to live closer to him. With Aaron and Ardanth having a family of their own, and Nicky off with his own family, that leaves Andrew without anyone to protect.” Kevin took Neil’s frown with nothing more than a shrug. “For now, Felicity is what’s keeping him from facing that reality- that he won’t be needed anymore. But in a year, he’s going to have to come off of it. After his whole reason for even fighting those men in the first place was to protect Nicky.”

“Coming off Felicity is going to make him realize he doesn’t have anyone to live for?”

“It’s going to make him face the fact that he’s got to find something else to live for besides protecting his brother and Nicky. That’s what he thinks makes him strong- helped him fight whatever it was he was fighting before. He agreed to help me fly Thread- and that means being the best at Exy, the absolute best training for flying Thread that Pern has- if I gave him a reason to keep living after he lost everything that made him strong.” Kevin said softly. Neil wasn’t sure about that, but he did remember what Andrew said when he asked why he was worth protecting.

“... if you’re interesting enough, I bet he would stay.” Neil finally murmured back, remembering Andrew’s hands fixing his veil. Kevin nodded quietly.

“I think that once Thread falls, and he sees the risk- feels the power of protecting all of Palmetto- all of Pern- he’ll think that’s interesting enough to stay. Maybe even interesting enough to follow me to Court.” 

Neil suddenly remembered the Harper tales about Riko and Kevin’s goals. To be part of the best of the best flying wing on all of Pern. Court. Wing First and Second of Court… but what would they be now that they knew Kevin and K’holinth were better than Riko and Yamor? “What happens if you get to Court and meet Riko?”

Now, Kevin got that nervous look again, and Neil recalled him saying how he was scared again. “Andrew says he’ll protect me. If he can still protect me from Riko… If he comes with me, he’ll still have someone to protect. Riko won’t stop until he’s the best of the best on Court Wing. Even if Andrew doesn’t care abotu Exy, Court plans on flying the worst of the worst Thread- they’re the best Wing on all of Pern. Between the excitement of flying Thread and protecting me, he should be satisfied. Even if Court actually DOES convince people to let them keep up the Exy games going through Threadfall.”

“That sounds like a lot of things pulling his attention…” Neil pointed out, helping Tenith finish up her stretches. “Like you’re desperate to keep him with you when you face Riko.”

“I am. And with you and Tenith there, there’s no way he won’t come.” Kevin finally said, his confidence returning. Neil whipped around, eyes narrowed. 

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Neil, you can talk to dragons- all the dragons. You memorized formations in a couple of days that usually take people YEARS. You fly like a natural and your green hatchling dragon whipped around the hatching grounds at record speeds- didn’t you notice that? Dragons all over Pern knew about you- and every single one of them swore you would become one of the best riders. You were born to fly for the best of the best.” Kevin snapped irritatedly.

“But those drills- I did them because you all told me- you and Andrew pushed me till I could. I was just following directions…. At first you didn't even think I would be fast enough to fly green. Tenith…” Neil felt a familiar panic rising in his chest.

“I underestimated her. She’s already faster than dragons months older. Give her the right training and fly her well, keep your mind on the perfect coordinates and she’ll be the fastest dragon on all Pern. You were meant to be a dragon rider. Maybe not of a Bronze at Telgar, but ALL dragons are important. Regardless of color. We’ll need a green. And when you come with me to Court, Andrew won’t have any problems following.” Kevin reiterated with no hesitation at all. 

“What’s so important about me that that would be the for sure determining factor of him going to Court with you or not? Did you forget that Riko and all of Telgar knows I didn’t live up to their expectations? They’ll kill me if I try for Court- kill me and make Tenith go Between.” Neil shook his head, already reaching out to hold onto the little green. Kevin shook his head with a look of pity that made Neil’s stomach churn.

“Right now, you’re the most interesting thing to Andrew besides his family. He wants you to let him protect you, and if you do, he’ll protect you no matter what. With two people worth protecting, he’ll come. And he will protect you against every Raven dragon in Telgar if he has to.” Kevin said it as if Neil really should have known.

“You’re not even sure he can protect you against Riko- what makes you think he can protect me?” Neil shook his head now, and had to shunt away the thought that it would have been better if he had never Impressed Tenith to start with. He couldn’t let her hear that. She was precious. So wonderful. So good- so sweet and pure and she needed him now. She depended on him now.

You are the best Rider I could have ever asked for- or else I wouldn’t have Impressed you-- the young green reassured him, the devotion in her eyes nothing but daggers shredding what little resolve he had left. --Don’t be afraid, Neil. I will protect you.

Her still near-translucent baby wings ruffled and lifted, trying their best to wrap around him as she curled up against him, too precious. She was too young. Too vulnerable. Too dependent on Neil, who was nothing more than a dead man running away from people who were too dangerous- who would eventually catch up to him and take everything and everyone he loved. Again. Her words echoed through his mind just the same as the fluttering mental images of brave reassurances had from the beautiful green fire-lizard that had helped Neil and his mother all those years had. That tiny, beautiful little thing had sworn to protect him, too. And had. With her precious life, she had protected Neil. 

“I told you, he gets strength from protecting people. I might be scared, but… but he told me to trust him. And since I gave him my life, all I have left to do is trust he’s going to do that…” Kevin paused, looking uncomfortable and hesitant for just a moment before he patted a gloved hand over the leather chaps of his riding gear to snap himself out of it. “Come on. We have to get you to Abby and then move the rest of your stuff from the Weyrleader’s apartment before it’s time to feed Tenith again.” Kevin urged after another moment, unaware of the struggle Neil was having as well.

Neil looked down and saw the earnest adoration and determination in Tenith’s eyes, knowing that she truly and earnestly believed she would protect him. Just like Andrew. Just like his mother and his fire-lizard. He swallowed hard, and looked up to Kevin. Neil wanted so, so bad to believe that he could be protected like Kevin. If HE could believe in Andrew, even past all of his obvious fears, then why couldn’t Neil? 

Taking a deep breath, Neil tried to force away his renewed fears again, reminding himself of his original plan. That didn’t have to change- it had worked for a while anyways. He would stay- wait until Tenith got big and strong enough to fly. He would learn as much as he could, understand as much as he could about dragons and flying and Thread, and then he would run. Run away and fly on the back of the dragon Kevin thought could be the strongest in all Pern. He wouldn’t wait for someone to find him- he would do what he knew would keep him alive- stay just one step ahead and keep moving. He tried not to think about the way images from Fox Rocks flashed behind his eyes every time he blinked, and instead followed after Kevin down to the lounge near the training grounds.

He was only a little shocked to see Wymack’s door open, but as soon as the Weyrleader noticed them, he came out, pausing long enough to greet Tenith. Neil was tried hard not to think about how similar the tenderness and fatherly affection Wymack showed her compared to Wy’Rhaun and his warm bed of stone and straw. Instead, he focussed on the way Tenith soaked up the affections and praises as if she really WAS the most beautiful green in all Pern, preening until Abby opened her office door, shocked that Neil was there early but happy to see him now and get it over with rather than having him come back later. When she invited Neil in, Wymack said he had to talk to Kevin, and Neil reassured him that he would be fine on his own until they were done. He had plenty to do, after all.

Behind the door, there were two rooms- one that was in fact the Harper Healer’s office, and another that was an examination room. She had Tenith walk up a small ramp and onto a ledge high enough for Abby to examine her while standing. It was an incredibly awkward affair to have to watch Tenith struggle up the ramp, her legs already tired from the ‘long walk’ it took to get there, but Abby reassured him that it would help make Tenith stronger if she could do it herself and insisted he didn’t help. 

“Now, this is just going to be a general check-up. We’ll take both of your weight and height, make sure everything’s fine with your joints and movements and muscles, and we’ll have to take a few samples of blood to make sure you’re alright, too. When was the last time you went to the Healer?” she asked, setting out her materials and letting Tenith curiously sniff at them and play with them a bit until she was comfortable enough to ignore them as useless to her again.

“A long time ago,” Neil admitted.

“Don’t like healers?”

“Healers don’t like me. Is this necessary? Can’t you just check Tenith?”

“You can’t start lessons or even keep staying in the Weyr as a rider until I sign off on you, so yes. I’ll start with Tenith, if you want, and give her the okay first.” Abby said. When Neil said nothing at first, she waited patiently, allowing him until Tenith got bored and started looking for a way to get down the ramp, impatient. “I have a lot of things to do today, Neil. I would really appreciate it if I could make sure both you and your dragon are healthy as soon as possible. It’s for the best for your dragon. Don’t you want that?”

Eventually, Neil gave in, unable to take the thought of Tenith suffering from something that could have been prevented by a simple check-up from Abby. Kevin HAD said she was specialized and knew the most about dragons, after all. The first part of her test was easy- for both Tenith and Neil. They both weighed in and let her run through a series of tests from reflexes to blood pressure. She even took two vials of blood from both of them, leveling them, then locking them up in a drawer. Only then did she turn around and motion towards Neil. “Shirt off.”

Neil stared at her. “Why?”

“I can’t check to see if you have track marks through your tunic, Neil.”

“I don’t do drugs.”

“Good on you,” Abby said, watching Tenith yawn and lazily settle herself down on the table, too large head settling easily. “Keep it that way for both you and your dragon. Now, take it off.”

Neil looked past her at the closed door, knowing that he had heard her lock it when they first came in, and said nothing. Abby looked at him and said nothing either. After five minutes of this, she was the first to give in. “I want to make this as painless as possible, but I can’t help you if you can’t help me. Tell me why you won’t take off your shirt.”

Neil looked for a delicate way to say it. The best he managed was, “I’m not okay.” It was different to say it to Kevin- to show it to Andrew. They were different. From a similar world. This was a Healer.

She put a finger to his chin and turned his face back toward her, reminding him of how Kevin had done the same when he washed the Sightroot off. He wondered, vaguely, if she could see through the muddy brown as well. “Neil, I work for the Foxes. I’m here, in Palmetto. None of you are okay. Chances are I’ve seen a lot worse than whatever it is you’re trying to hide from me.” She said this, and Neil remembered Kevin’s words. Like him. Like Andrew.

Neil’s smile was humorless. “For my dragon?”

“Trust me,” Abby said, and he heard it in Yardith’s rumbling voice. “I’m not going to judge you. I’m here to help, remember? I’m your nurse now. That door is closed, and it comes with a lock. What happens in here stays in here.”

“You won’t tell the Weyrleader?”

“This isn’t any of his business,” Abby said, gesturing between them with her free hand, making sure to include Tenith.”I only report to him if I think it’ll affect your dragon or your performance in the sky- or if you’re breaking the law and I need an intervention.”

Neil stared at her, wondering if he could believe her and knowing that he didn’t have a choice. She wasn’t like Andrew and Kevin, but she was going to be the one who told him if he could stay- maybe even if he could keep Tenith. He didn’t think they would take his dragon away from him… but he needed to stay- to make sure that she was okay, that she could grow up big and strong and be alright. He needed to protect her as best he could because she depended on him. For all he was worth. “You can’t ask me about them,” He said at last, remembering Kevin’s promise that he didn’t have to answer her. “I won’t talk to you about it. Okay?”

“Okay,” Abby agreed easily. “But know that when you want to, I’m here, and so is Bee.”

Neil wasn’t going to tell that HarperHealer a thing, but he nodded. Abby dropped her hand, and Neil pulled his tunic over his head before he could lose his nerve. As soon as he did, he felt an ugly, twisted satisfaction to see the expression on her face. She thought she was ready. Neil knew she wouldn’t be, and he was right. Her mouth parted on a silent breath and her expression went blank. She wasn’t fast enough to hide her flinch from Tenith, who raised her head again and shifted, standing until she could reach a forepaw over and rest it posessively in his lap, hissing. Neil saw her shoulders go rigid with tension. He stared at her face, expression mimicking the defiant, angry glare of his dragon as they both watched her gaze sweep over the brutal marks of a hideous childhood.

He saw her eyes flicker down, to the looping scar at the base of his throat, then on to the arrow mark a few inches away. The shell-grated patch from his left shoulder to his navel was next. Following that was the many crissing and crossing wounds on the rest of his upper body, then his abdomen, where the soft flesh made deeper, larger marks that overlapped much easier with the sorts of blades his father’s people often wielded. He continued to watch her as her eyes flashed back up to the iron wound, then held his arms up, hands twisted in his tunic. “Do I have track marks?” he asked, just as Tenith growled in the same defiant tone.

“Neil,” Abby said softly, and he knew she was trying to find a way to ask. She was nothing like Andrew. Nothing like Kevin.

“Do I or don’t I?”

The healer’s mouth thinned to a hard line as she forcibly redirected her attention back to his physical. The second she gave him the okay to put his tunic back on, he yanked it over his head roughly. She filled out the rest of her forms in silence as Neil helped his dragon down the slope and back to his side. 

“We’re done,” Abby said. “Neil-”

“No.” Neil quickly urged Tenith towards the door, escaping as fast as he could with a newly hatched dragon at his side. He half expected her to follow him, but she stayed in her office instead, leaving him and his dragon alone.


	7. Contracts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Kevin learn that the Ravens are going to fly West for their Exy games, and Neil worries that he's made the wrong choice and brought Tenith into a world he's not prepared to protect her from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather long one, guys. I've changed a lot of things about the original story in this one, but I hope it works well with the world I'm trying to incorporate the characters into.

He was so frustrated with Abby that he decided to take the chance to give Tenith a bit of exercise while they were both so pint up. Because she had just eaten, and usually would be ready to play around a bit until she wore herself out anyways, Tenith was more than eager to bitch with him about how intrusive and untrustworthy Abby was- saying she wouldn’t ask and then going and trying to ask anyway. What kind of bullshit was that? And who did she think she was, trying to lay the pity on that thick in the first place? They were fine- just fine! If Andrew and Kevin could accept him with all his scars and still want him, what was wrong with her?! 

Neil had to admit, it was refreshing to have a smack-talking partner in crime to converse with, and it was a relief to have someone to actually talk with who he didn’t have to hide anything from. He wasn’t sure how he could tell, but he just KNEW that Tenith understood each and every one of his dark secrets and still loved him for it. She knew him better than even his own mother- FELT his memories and still, after all of that, loved him. How could he not find absolute adoration in her after that? Know that beyond a doubt she would never leave him? For now, he relished in those thoughts alone, and tried not to think about how terrifying it was. How terrifying Abby reminded him it was. It was enough to just be angry, and work out until he was cooled down again.

After an entire circuit of the weyr bowl, he found his own irritation with the Healer slowly ebbing in favor of humor at her antics and spiteful indignance on his behalf. She was really more like the devil on his shoulder, saying all of the things that he knew he shouldn’t, but felt anyway, and he loved it. It wasn’t that she was BAD, perse. She was just so absolutely HONEST with her emotions and thoughts that he found himself completely enamored with her. Seeing that she was getting a bit tired now after an entire circuit around the Weyr, he turned her back towards the doors, and helped her back to the room. Somehow, this had been almost as good as going for a run to calm his nerves, and by the time she was softly snoring again, he almost felt as refreshed as if he was ready to get up and start a whole new day. 

Remembering that he still had to settle into his new room, Neil wondered if now would be a good time to get his chest from the weyrleader’s place. Kevin said he would help, but Neil was sure that if he got there and no one was home, he could just call one of the drudges to help. If he made sure to pay them well, it would ease his worry of taking them away from another job just to help him. 

Satisfied, Neil made his way across the weyr again and to the spiraling staircase and slowly up it. When he got to the Weyrleader’s apartment, though, the door was left unlocked. Slightly concerned- but not overly so with Wy’Rhaun often keeping watch- he almost pushed his way in, halting only when he heard furious voices arguing. He looked around to make sure no one was there, and put an ear to the crack as he held his breath, straining to make out the words.

“Damn it, Kevin, I said sit down!”

“I won’t!” Kevin shot back. If Wymack hadn’t said his name already, Neil wouldn’t have recognized the Bronze’s voice. It was twisted with absolute fear, and a panic that Neil recognized in his own core. “How could you let him do this?!”

“I don’t have any say in this and you know it. Hey!” 

There was a hard thud as bodies hit the wall, and Neil took advantage of the struggle to slip inside. He closed the door as quietly as he could, but his stealth was a wasted effort. It sounded like Wymack and Kevin were knocking over everything the Weyrleader owned, and Neil winced at the sharp sound of shattering clay, knowing it was a mug for Klah and that one of the drudged- maybe even Damien or Darbi- would be the ones to clean it up.

“Look at me,” Wymack demanded. “Look at me, by the first egg, and breathe.”

“I warned Andrew he was going to come for me. I told him!” 

“It doesn’t matter. You changed your beholden status to Palmetto- your weyr is Fox.”

“He could pay off any Harper or Recordsholder in a heartbeat. You know he would. He’s pay you off and take me home and I- I can’t go back there. I can’t, I can’t, I won’t, I- I have to go. I have to go. I should go now, before he has to come for me. Maybe he’ll forgive me if I go back. If I make him hunt me down anymore than I have already he’ll kill me for sure.”

“Shut up,” the Weyrleader said. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I can’t tell Riko no!”

“Then don’t say a word,” Wymack said. “Keep your mouth shut and let me and Andrew do the talking. Yes, Andrew. Don’t tell me you forgot about that little psycho. I’ve got Bee’s number on speed dial. Want me to send a fire-lizard to her office so you can see if he’s there? Talk to him? Want me to go and send for Neil and have him tell Yardith you’re thinking about taking K’holinth back?”

Silence followed that. Neil waited, shocked to hear his name being levied in a threat like that, holding his breath until Wymack spoke again. He was quieter this time, but concern made his voice more gruff than comforting.

“I’m not letting you go back there,” Wymack said. “Nothing says I have to. Your contract says you belong to me. He can send us all the money he wants, but you have to sign off on it before it means anything, and you’re not going to. Okay? You let me and Andrew worry about Riko fuck-face. You worry about getting your dragon and your wing where they need to be. You promised me you could get us past the fourth round this Turn.”

“That was before,” Kevin said, sounding miserable and small. “This is now.”

“The Harper hall said they would wait until after the hatching before they send the journeymen out to spread the news. They saw how many security issues we had over your transfer, so they’re waiting until everyone’s settled after the hatching where I can keep an eye on them. I told you because you need to know, but I need you to keep it from Andrew until then. There are already rumors some idiot went off with him at the Hatching and hasn’t been seen since. Tell me you can see Andrew today and not completely freak out.”

“Andrew will figure it out. He’s not stupid.”

“Then you have to be the better liar,” the Weyrleader said in a hard voice. “The Harperhall is looking for a reason to take him away from us, and you know they won’t give him back. Then where will you be?”

They were quiet for so long Neil thought they might be done. Finally, Kevin said, “Call your Fire-lizard.”

“If you think I’m going to let you use my fire-lizard to send a message to that two-faced bastard-”

“Jean,” Kevin cut in. “I have to send for Jean. I have to hear him say it. He can arrange a time- even if it’s just for a few minutes- to snap his dragon between and he’ll come here and tell me. Face to face.” 

Apparently that was an acceptable compromise, because Wymack stopped arguing. Neil looked over his shoulder, wondering if he should make a break for it. He didn’t know what was going on, but it had to be awful if it’d brough Kevin this far off his condescending perch. He was debating on how quietly he could slip out of the door when a soft brush of cold and a startled little chitter met his left ear. He winced, but the bronze fire-lizard only blinked over at him briefly before darting down the hall and around the corner to Wymack and Kevin.

“Wait here,” Wymack said, and Neil winced again, knowing he was caught. A few seconds later, he stepped into the hallway. He didn’t seem surprised at all when he spotted Neil at the end, but said nothing, Neil watched as the man’s lips pursed in contemplation, then he continued into the kitchen. Neil recognized the sound of Wymack’s wineskin cabinet by now and the soft clink of glass meant he wanted Kevin to settle. He returned with a skin of something rare and refined (Neil only knew because it was one of the ones Andrew’s lot didn’t usually touch) and dropped it off with Kevin.

“Drink,” he said from out of sight. “Now, I’m going to go and get someone. Neil. He needs to hear this, too, yea? No- No, I’m not ACTUALLY going to have him tell Yardith. Calm down. Drink.” 

Wymack came back to the hallway. Neil pointed over his shoulder at the door in question. Wymack followed him out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. Neil looked down the hall around for any stay eavesdroppers, but the other doors were closed. 

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone else until after Lynth and the others were all settled again.” Wymack said. “How much did you hear?”

“Kevin’s having a nervous breakdown,” Neil said. “I don’t know why.”

“The Ravens put in a request to participate in the Exy games with the Western Hemisphere. Since Dragons can go Between, it doesn't technically matter, and since they’re so good- and the best in the games get to choose whether they get help from another Weyr to cover their own lands or to help train another team in preparation for next year. Usually, it’s just a good excuse to have extra helping hands all around, but the top in the West usually just spends extra time giving us extra lessons and it’s not a big problem because we usually need it- and don’t mind the extra work, either. If it’s the Ravens, though, and they choose us…” 

“That’s impossible- the Harper Hall can’t approve that,” Neil said.

“They already did. And apparently it was an easy vote. Telgar is one of the oldest and most esteemed weyrs on all Pern, and they consistently push out riders who join Court. Of course having them spread their awesome influence to us lowly Westerners would be ideal.”

“That’s impossible,” Neil said again, feeling the insistent panic bubble up one more time. “We can’t fly against the Ravens in Exy- we can’t have them train us for coming Threadfall. They don’t belong here- we’re on the other side of the whole world. What sane Harper Hall would pit the best and the worst against each other- would have the best stoop so low to train the worst- what are they hoping to gain from this?”

“One that knows exactly what there is to gain from it. Think about it, Neil- Riko against Kevin again. Kevin’s transfer created a lot of backlash, but Exy’s become so popular now that the threat of Thread is even more real. People are interested, to say the least. The Harper Hall wants to follow it through to milk as much interest out of it as possible. If people look at dragons as heroes even BEFORE the first Thread falls and can understand how they fly- how they spit flame- how they zoom and flip in the air, they’ll trust them more. BELIEVE in them more. On top of all that, they’ll trust and love dragon men more. Tithe more. There is no bad call for them. Imagine the songs they can write about it.” Wymack sighed.

“I can’t play against Riko,” Neil said. Something in his voice made Wymack pause, and Neil shifted, looking away. “I’m not ready.”

“Oh, by the first fucking egg, Neil, not you, too?” Wymack groaned, shoulders slumping as he reached his hands up and covered his eyes. 

“I--” Neil started, only to have the Weyrleader hold up a hand. 

“Don’t lie to me, Neil. Just… Don’t.” 

There was a long pause as Neil contemplated just how far he could run while he carried Tenith on his back. 

“Do you know Riko? I mean, really know him? His family?” 

“And Kevin,” Neil admitted tightly.

“Golden queens… Neil…”

“Can’t you protest?” Neil said. “They’re setting us up for a match everyone knows we can’t win.”

“I could, but it won’t do any good. It’s already DONE, Neil. The Harper Hall doesn’t do take-backs, especially when it means spurning Telgar, and looking from their side, having the strongest of the strong so graciously take in the constantly poorly performing underdogs and helping mentor them just makes for better lyrics. It's BETTER for them if Telgar does pick us in the end… Damn it all, Neil.” The way Wymack kept saying his name made it sound like a lie, as sharp and as fast as a poison tipped arrow.

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“It’s why I said I couldn’t come.”

There was another long pause between them where Neil couldn’t meet the Weyrleader’s eyes.

“Damn it all, Neil.”

“I know. I know.” Neil sighed, but Wymack was already shaking his head and motioning towards the door. 

“Get inside.” The Weyrleader demanded, and Neil moved fast enough to put decent distance between them now.

Kevin looked like hell, and when he looked up miserably at Neil, it was with the sort of resignation Neil had only ever seen staring back at him in the mirror on the worst days. "Riko is coming for me," he said as a greeting, pouring himself another cup of the special wine. 

"They're… going to fly against you for Exy…?" Neil wondered. 

"Probably because he wants me back as Second now that he knows I can't get past him," Kevin shook his head. 

"Can't you? You can fly just fine," Neil tried to sound confident. 

"Can YOU face him?" Kevin snapped back at Neil, and when they met eyes, there was a knowledge that they both understood. No. Neil couldn't. Not on the ground or in the air. "And you don't even know the worst of it."

"Wait. First of all, you tell me what Neil has to do with Riko. What hive did I just stick my dick in, taking him on? And I swear to the Dawn Sisters, if you lie to me one more time--" the weyrleader snapped, pointing an accusing finger at Neil.

"Neil was supposed to Impress with me and Riko at Telgar. His father- I told you he was the Master Butcher- he was basically owned by the Moriyama family. They bought his apprenticeship. They bought his master and even worked for HIS master before him- they bought the Butcher and his master's rank as well. His house, his clients. Everything. And when his son was Searched, they bought that, too." Wymack listened and shook his head when Kevin paused, and Neil glanced back at Wy'Rhaun again. The huge Bronze gave him a worried dip of his massive head. Neil had to look away, too tempted to run and hide and let the strong, capable wing fold over him again.

"But Neil doesn't know that Telgar and the Moriyama's reign isn't so cut and dry. It's… you've read the Charter, haven't you, Neil?" Kevin asked, clearly unable to keep his abundant knowledge from being shared in the form of a lesson even if he was in the midst of a depressive episode. Neil nodded. "Well, the truth of the matter is that the Moriyamas are the family who has slowly inherited Telgar Hold. They were a small, secret family of criminals who really excelled in doing the dirty, backhanded and too bloody work for the settlers who first landed. It was supposed to be a secret, but those in power never forgot, since they always seemed to need people like that for one reason or another. The Moriyamas were married in, born in, settled in until they now ARE Telgar. But they have old world values and have separated themselves out into a main branch and secondary family. The main branch consists of heirs and first borns, while the others are made into small cotholders on Telgar lands or given jobs that will help Telgar itself. If they're lucky, they're Searched and taken to the Weyr to Impress and given the chance to bring honor to their family as dragon riders."

Kevin scrubbed his face and the room seemed frozen in time as they waited for him to continue. "The day me and Neil met, he also met Tetsuji, the second son of the last Telgar Lord Holder. Hardly anyone knows him for that, though, since he built his legacy as the man who helped make Exy, with my mother. That's how he brought pride to his family. And that's also why he had to keep such a form grip on his leadership at the Weyr. If he let someone who he thought of as lesser than even a second son beat him, he was scared his brother wouldn't want anything to do with him. Being the Weyrleader gives him something to stand on to measure up to Telgar Lord Holder… so when his brother had two sons and gave the second to him, he wanted to take that chance to build his own empire. He raised Riko like a son, and in order to secure the throne he would pass down to his heir, he enlisted the help of the Butcher, and used his son as leverage. Telgar Hold owned the Master Butcher so much so that even getting his firstborn in as second or third to a second son would be more than prestigious enough…"

Neil had known- thought he knew- just how dangerous his father was… but this news was news to him, too! The Master Butcher wasn't just working with- he was working FOR the people who owned Kevin in such a way?! Who had forced them to watch a man get torn apart just for having the audacity to get better just so they would know their place as second and third best? His fear gripped at his core and threatened to shake him until his bones fell apart. Wymack looked back and forth between them slowly, jaw clenching and unclenching for a moment while Wy'Rhaun gave a low, rumbling croon of agitated fretfulness. 

"So then why did it take for damn ever for you to get a dragon?"

"Neil was supposed to Impress Bronze like me that day. That’s what the Moriyamas wanted. But his mother overheard the dragons and found out he wouldn't- Jean would. So she ran with him. That's why he's been running all this time- why he's so…" Kevin motioned towards Neil and he tried not to be offended. 

"Wait… your mother… Mary? Child of Mary?" Wymack put it together too quick and Neil shot an accusing look at Wy'Rhaun, who only rumbled gently at him in response. "And that's why it didn't take a blue or green. Even before we knew there was anyone, both Wy'Rhaun and K'holinth knew you were there. It just took Yardith to pinpoint you." 

"I didn't know," was the only defense Neil could give, even as he tucked the little bit of information about Yardith away for later. 

"But your mother did. The dragons talked about her all the time. In riddles for Dragons, of course, but they talked about her. Said they could talk TO her…" the realization that dawned in the Weyrleader's eyes made Neil flinch when they darted from Wy’Rhaun and back to him. "And you can talk to them too, can't you?"

"To every single one." Kevin agreed miserably. "Once Riko finds out he’s just like his mother, it won't matter if didn't impress bronze or not. He'll want Neil on his wing, and then to Court."

"I told you no." Wymack snapped at Kevin, who only leaned forward to hide his face in his hands.

"I can't with Riko. I can't let him remember me." Neil finally said. “I’ll only be safe for as long as it takes him to figure out a boy can listen and talk to all the dragons, too. It’s supposed to be a trait passed down to the daughters, right?”

"Not necessarily- there was a Master Harper once who could- but you don't belong to him, no matter what he might have paid your father. Neither of you do, do you hear me?" Now, Wymack was assertive and demanded their attention. "Kevin broke that contract with him and no child under twelve turns can sign anything legally binding. Even if your father signed for you, he couldn't do it till you actually WERE impressed, at which point you would become the legal responsibility of the Weyr until you could fly as an actual dragon rider. That's the law." 

"I don't think that matters to Ravens-" Neil tried, throat dry. 

"And I don't give a tunnel snake’s ass, Neil. You two are Foxes. You belong here. And as long as you don't sign anything for them, they can't take you." Wymack snapped back.

"They'll MAKE us sign the contracts. They'll come in and kill anyone they can't till we do- like those men at the gather you found!" Neil protested, already riling up again. The treacherous Wy’Rhaun rumbled at him again.

"Hey! Calm down! Listen to me!" Wymack stood when Neil did, and Neil moved away from him, closer to Wy'Rhaun. "You don't have to worry about them coming here. There are good, loyal dragons here. And we have Andrew. I admit he's a crazy little psycho, but he's got this thing going on with Kevin. I don't know how it works and I don't care, but since he claimed Kevin was one of his, he's kept his word. Kevin's been safe here since Andrew brought him into his fold. He's a bastard, and I don't want anybody getting caught in his wave of mass destruction but if protecting you means protecting Kevin he might let you slide."

"He's just one man." Neil felt himself snapping. "Not even Kevin thinks Andrew can fully protect HIM from Riko. Maybe he has so far, but one more is too many," Neil said, and he met Kevin's tired eyes. 

Before Kevin could say anything more, though, the little bronze fire-lizard returned and chartered happily at Kevin until he took the message tied to his leg. "Jean will meet me in a little bit. I have to be there or he might be gone too long." 

Kevin was already standing, and hurried into the sink room, no doubt to hide his shameful breakdown enough to leave the room and face the Weyr. Neil turned a cautious eye to Wymack, who was running his temples now. 

"Andrew is protecting Kevin. As much as he could protect Nicky and Aaron. I can't tell you why or how, but that boy's one of Andrew's and that saves him. Maybe it's too much to risk, but Andrew looks at life like degrees of separation. If protecting you means he's going to be able to better protect Kevin, then he'll at least keep his sights off you. I don't want you to go doing anything stupid with him, though. He's dangerous. You just remember that you got all of Palmetto at your back, and Riko can't take us all down." Wymack tried to comfort Neil. There was no way Neil could tell Wymach that Andrew had already offered him a position under his Yardith’s wings as well- multiple times. 

"I can't afford that risk… Tenith can't afford my mistakes… listen, I just want to fly my dragon." Neil finally said, shaking his head. 

Wymack nodded, but Neil knew he didn't understand. "I have to settle Kevin… you look like you came here for something- need some help with your stuff moving in, I guess?"

Neil nodded. "I just came for my chest." 

"I'll help you with it down to your room, and Matt and the others can help you unpack while I get Kevin. You'll be rooming with the first wing, they told you, right?" Wymack said. "I made sure they put in a small enough bed for Tenith but once she gets big enough, we'll just expand it out like we did the rest so you won't have to move." 

Neil nodded and moved over for his heavy trunk. He wanted to ask how they cut into the volcanic rock so easily and made the rooms so comfortably, but he knew he didn't have time to waste thinking about that right now. Not with the fact that Riko was coming boring down on him. If he wasn't careful, he wouldn't be ready to fly Tenith and protect her from him when the time came. He had to concentrate on her- make her strong and good and fast- so that when the time came they could run. That was the plan. That was what he had to concentrate on. 

They were able to manage the heavy chest fairly easily between them, though about halfway down the spiral staircase they met a pair of drudges who were so appalled by the idea that the weyrleader was struggling with luggage that they all but forced him to give it over to them. Neil thought he would be thankful for their help, but by the time they got down to the Fox apartments, he felt his nervousness rising and ended up making up a lie about not knowing which was his yet so that they would leave it in the hall for him to move later. They had other errands to run, and Neil wasn't the weyrleader, so they were happy enough to leave it at that, especially with the many people starting to fill the halls on moving missions of their own. 

Only once they were gone did Neil press his lips together, wondering how he would actually end up moving it into his room without freaking out about someone untrustworthy invading his space. It only took a few moments for Matt to spot him and come down the hall with an amiable smile. 

“Hey! Moving the rest of your stuff today, too? I’ll swing you by Weyrleader’s place to get the rest,” Matt said with a charming smile.

“This is it,” Neil motioned to his heavy chest. He thought it was more than enough- the damn thing was already full of things he knew would take him at LEAST a month to blow through! Not to mention, the damn thing had a lock on it. 

He was just lucky he could give back most of the things- so far, he hadn’t seen the fancier clothes they lent out to him from before, and he hoped that meant he wasn’t going to get them back. Surely, they could be given to someone else after they were cleaned- reused. In his heart of heart, though, he knew they were probably just going somewhere for a special cleaning before they would be folded neatly and set on the edge of his bed, just like all the rest of the clothes Wymack had him send to the washing drudges.

Matt looked at his chest, then around the hall for other suitcases that didn’t exist. He flicked a questioning look at the Neil, who simply stared back patiently. “That’s a joke, right? You should see how much I crammed onto my dragon’s back- and how much I had to leave behind! And you expect to last a year with one trunk? That thing have some sort of otherworldly expending powers I don’t know about or something?”

Neil shook his head, and shifted from foot to foot, wondering if Matt would keep teasing him or not. 

“Alright… well, listen, ill help you put THAT in your room and buy you a meal down in town later if you don’t mind helping me, too? I’m right next door, and we share a common room with another guy- Seth. I just feel guilty since I was gonna ask you to help me and i have way more stuff.”

Neil nodded, feeling a bit more relieved at this explanation. He could understand favors, at least. If he helped Matt, Matt would help him, and this did wonders for easily restoring his confidence in the bronze rider. He was blunt and to the point, and that made him easy to read and deal with. Less dangerous. 

Once they got his trunk set up in the room and Neil verified that Tenith was still happily napping, they moved out to the same large cove where he first rode Yardith in on. As he saw Matt’s huge bronze standing patiently waiting for them by the stone ledge while a few other dragons and their riders bustled about, Neil remembered how the cousins had greeted him there - Andrew playing a trick he really should have seen through with blue Yardith as a mount. 

“How do, bronze Marthe?” Neil said immediately, dropping into a polite bow before he even attempted to get any of the packages. Curiously, the bronze turned his massive head towards Neil.

I fair fine. How do you, young rider?-- rumbled the beast.

“Tired, if I’m honest. My name is Neil- and I’m rider of Tenith, the quick Green that hatched yesterday,” Neil said quietly, hoping Matt didn’t notice he was talking with his dragon. Neil didn’t know if it was supposed to be a secret or not, but he was sure it wouldn’t be a good idea to just tell everyone in the whole weyr he was able to talk to every dragon. His only ace would be gone, then, and he would be one step closer to Riko figuring him out.

Brave girl- she has the heart of her mother, then. Lynth is proud of that one. Fair well, Green Neil. I look forward to flying with your Tenith soon-- Marthe crooned, clearly proud even if it hadn’t been his egg that hatched the little green. Somehow, that made Neil feel happy… and then afraid. What would he do if he found out the trouble Neil was putting that precious girl in? Just by being alive?! Just by Impressing her?

“Hey, can you come and help me with this one?” Matt called from around the side, and Neil hurried over, helping him immediately. They chatted amiably through most of it, with Neil avoiding anything leading up to questions about his past in favor of letting Matt talk most of the time and asking about trivial things that were easy to be truthful about or at least remember the well rehearsed lies for. Finally, when they had filled Matt’s room and the shared common room they had (Which Neil had realized his room opened up on through a door in the sink room he had only used to get ready for the day) with all the extra furniture and accommodations, the conversation seemed to slow down a bit. 

“We’re not all bad, just so you know,” Matt said as he fluffed one of the dozen pillows on the low couch. “Dan hated that your first impression of us would be the do-nothings. She was pretty sure you wouldn’t stick around long enough to meet the rest of us. She even thought about coming back to the apartments early to be a buffer, but Weyrleader told her not to bother- said you had to deal with them eventually and she had to stay with Lynth for the eggs.”

“They’re interesting,” Neil said, unable to forget the utter crash Kevin had just hours before.

“Interesting,” Matt repeated. “That’s the tamest description of them I’ve ever heard. Seriously, though. I know you saw the way Andrew was acting last night. If they give you any trouble, just let me know. I’ll kick even Kevin’s ass for you.”

“Thanks, but I can handle them on my own.” He didn't need Matt knowing that Andrew was acting that way because of Neil.

“I thought I could handle them, too.” Matt raked a hand through his hair, skewing the spikes he had carefully combed into it (Something Neil had wanted to ask about at the party last night but was thankful he didn’t, since Matt still wore them that day as well) “Andrew made it pretty clear he wasn’t going to be handled by anyone. You change your mind, you know where to find me. My offer’s good through Threadfall.” 

Neil wouldn’t need Matt’s help, but he said, “Thanks.”

“Yea, no problem. Listen, I’m going to go and meet up with Dan and Lynth so we can fly Renee and her mom back out to the mainland and Allison take in. We're going Between for Renee and her mom, but that won't work on the way back knowing Allison. I’m sure she’s just scared she’s gonna drop a shoe and it’ll be lost forever. So of course, she decided to fly over the whole damned ocean and needs an escort just in case… or more likely, she wants to load our dragons down with more clothes and shoes as well.” he rolled his eyes. Neil nodded, though he didn’t care to understand.

“I’m going to go and get something to eat- and I think it’s about time to feed Tenith again.” He explained, remembering the pails of meat he had to give her every day. If he wasn’t so damned paranoid, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but as the son of the Master Butcher and with Riko on his heels, he felt compelled to know where his beloved’s meat was coming from. He planned to ask Beal, then make a trip to see if he couldn’t just slaughter his own animal to cut out the middle man- best to make a chore of it now, than to leave it to chance.

Matt laughed easily, gave him a pat on the back, then turned to mount Marthe in one smooth motion. Neil wondered, absently, if it was something all riders worked on in order to look cool or if it was just something that happened naturally the more comfortable you got with your dragon. Seeing Marthe blink them Between, Neil turned and made his way back inside, forcing the thoughts of Andrew and Kevin and Riko out of his mind as he focussed on what he had to do with Tenith.

He was actually pleasantly surprised that Beal was there in the kitchens and had been about to send for him, just like all the other newly hatched Weyrlings. It seemed that it was customary for all of the new riders to get this talk, but since Neil was taking the initiative, he got shown to the dragon’s special herd first. Neil wondered if maybe that was why Matt had so easily laughed and gave him a pat on the back when he left but when Beal walked him through the building, introducing him to the farmers and showing him the huge stone building they had erected to house the herd during threadfall, he paid close attention. Beal even went so far as to show him the meat locker and prep stations that were heavily manned to help provide for the newest additions to the weyr.

Neil was impressed by the clean work and thoroughly relieved when he didn’t see or hear of anyone he might have known or recognized that might have anything to do with his father there. When he saw that the next meal was already hung up as a carcass he just had to carve from until he had enough, he knew that the weyr at least wasn’t going to throw the new riders in headfirst. They had started out with still warm meat freshly cut, and moved up to a whole carcass. Next would be the live animal, and once the dragons got big enough, they would be expected to make their own kills. It was a good practice, and Neil agreed with it wholeheartedly. 

Each new rider had to take full responsibility for their dragon- and that meant picking, slaughtering, and butchering their own animal each week until the dragons got big enough to do it for themselves. Years ago, the slaughtering had been done for the young ones, but some weyrs had found that doing that was almost an invitation for the riders to remove themselves from the idea that their dragons were not just these wonderful, beautiful, lovely things that could do nothing wrong. They were warm blooded animals, no matter how intelligent, and both rider and dragon needed to grow up with a healthy respect for their appetites and the food they put into their stomachs.

Thanking Beal and taking the lessons the workers gave him on how to work with the meat as humbly as he could, Neil soon found himself with another pail of fresh meat for Tenith. He was just thankful that Beal had chosen to feed him lunch before the whole ordeal because by the time he made it back, he was sure that Tenith would be fully awake and demand to be fed then and there. He hadn’t expected it to take so long, but since he knew his only responsibility was to her for now, he was happy to have taken the time to learn the lessons and make the necessary connections. At least this way, he was sure he knew where the meat for his love was coming from. Unless someone poisoned the whole herd, there was no way they would make Tenith sick on Neil’s watch. 

When he got back to his apartment, there wasn’t any sign of Matt on their side of the apartments so he assumed the other wasn’t back yet, and Neil had to admit he was a little thankful. He wanted to take the time to feed and bond with Tenith while he still had a bit of privacy, now knowing that the whole First Wing would be living so close by. Kevin had even told him that his and the ‘monster’s’ rooms had been finished in time, so they would be rooming just down the hall as well. Everyone was so close- and Neil was sure bonding with THEM would be a necessity, too, thanks to Kevin and his great expectations. Neil really had no idea why the bronze rider had such high hopes for him… and hoped it wouldn’t be too much of a disappointment when he had to leave. It just wasn’t safe for him here. Not safe for him, and not safe for Tenith.

He was completely unprepared for his inner thoughts to be so thoroughly proven true when he unlocked the door to his room and saw that his dragon was gone. Tenith was nowhere to be found- not in her room, not in the hall- not even in the common room or in any of the adjoining rooms (Neil had taken the time to check and make sure no one was there before helping himself to the locks there). She was gone- disappeared- and he felt his whole heart sink as he realized his worst nightmares had come to life. Someone -his father's men who were actually Riko's men- had found out who he was- where he was- and had come to take everything he loved! And Andrew- where was he when all of this was happening?! Hadn’t he said he would protect Neil?! Hadn’t he said he would take care of Neil?! Even if it was past that night and Neil hadn’t seen him all day, didn’t he say that all of Palmetto was his?! How could he let this happen?!

How easily you throw the blame, Green Neil-- sang Yardith’s resonate voice somewhere deep in the back of Neil’s mind.

“Where is she?!” Neil hissed, already moving down the hall, though he had no idea where to even start!

Such fury from someone so LOST. Why don’t you just ask her where she is?-- Yardith drolled. Seething, Neil whipped his head around and was about to yell out for her regardless of what human actually heard him when he felt a familiar… presence…? He whipped around and towards the ‘sound’. He couldn’t have explained it, but he could somehow feel the direction of her thoughts, even if she wasn’t actually speaking right then. He walked right up to one of the doors- and wasn’t surprised when he found it locked- and knelt down, his picks still secured in the pockets of his tunic.

It didn’t take long for the sturdily made but relatively simple to manipulate lock to give way and the door clicked open. Neil stowed his tools away, and shoved his way in, indignant rage bubbling up inside of him when he found Andrew’s group scattered around the living room as soon as he walked in. 

This room, it seemed, was built like a smaller version of the weyrleader’s apartment, and he was sure there were four large bedrooms with dragon ledges built in and balconies leading out into the open night sky farther back. In front of him, though, Aaron and Nicky were half sunk into matching piles of pillows on the low sofa as they both fiddled with guitars Neil would have found impressive if he hadn’t been seeing red at the time. Kevin was reading a scroll on the window ledge with no evidence of his panic from a few hours before on his face, a glowbasket pulled close to help him see in the waning evening light. Andrew was sitting in the center of the couth, Tenith resting just in front of him, curled up with her head in his lap. A slow smile made its way across the blond’s face.

“Oh my, fury does not suit your face at all, Neil!”

Aaron half turned, his guitar tilting precariously on his knee before he glanced to Nicky. “We locked that.” He said, and it wasn’t quite a question even if it was quiet enough that Neil was sure he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Last I checked,” Nicky answered, then offered Neil a friendly, “I heard Matt went with Dan and Renee to get Allison?”

The nonchalance in their words and Nicky’s smile just further infuriated Neil. Turning his angry glare towards Andrew again, he moved towards the couch. “Stay out of my things.” he snapped. 

He saw the shocked looks, but didn’t care to pause and see who looked at who as he very gently brushed his fingers over Tenith’s eye ridges and sent waves of adoration down towards her to wake her. Then, turning his glare back up to that infuriatingly perfect smile and blocking off his emotions from his dragons, he pointed. “The next time one of you goes where you don’t belong I swear I’ll make you regret it.” he growled, only to gently help a sleepy Tenith to her feet, urging her off of the soft cushions and pillows. He knew he was acting out- could feel his fury and saw the warning signs that meant this was the wrong course of action but with Riko looming overhead what more could he do?! Tenith was all he had! If he couldn't even keep her safe, he would have been better off just leaving her to go Between without ever bonding in the first place!

“I don’t think you fully understand the situation, Neil. If I were you, I would bite my tongue before I bit off more than I could chew,” Andrew laughed, leaning back on his hands now and spreading out his legs. 

“No, YOU don’t understand. You’re always telling me not to touch- YOU don’t touch MY things!” 

“Oh, I understand just fine.” Andrew grinned, shrugging. “I just don’t care.”

“Neil,” Kevin started, putting his scroll down.

“Start caring. I’ve let you push me around for two weeks because I got all swept away in your ridiculous ideals of what was YOURS, but I’m done!” Neil could feel his misplaced fury but he didn't care! Andrew would never be able to protect him- this just proved that Neil was a fool to even think he had Neil's best interest at heart in the first place.

“Neil, I think you better take a minute to really look at the situation in front of you before you go flying off the handle-” Kevin started, only to have Neil gently urge a very confused Tenith towards the door. 

“No, YOU better put a leash on your pet monster or I will. I thought you were supposed to be helping me- protecting me!” Neil cursed at the room, his indignance and panic warring inside him now.

“A frightened child like you really should heed the words of his Wing Second,” Andrew half sang as he stood. 

“Fuck you, Andrew! Fuck you and your pathetic little excuse for a family, too!” 

Andrew’s smile slipped so fast Neil’s blood ran cold. He backed out of the room and slammed the door closed between them, gently but firmly pushing Tenith down the hall with him. He had only managed to get her back into his room when Andrew yanked the door open again. The blond got his hands on Neil’s neck and in an instant slammed Neil up against the door so fast and hard it also slammed shut, echoing through the hall. Neil dug his fingers into Andrew’s wrists for just a half second before he yanked them away, remembering he wasn’t supposed to touch. He debated kneeing Andrew, too, but aborted that idea when the smaller man crushed him against the solid door with his own body.

“You really should take a good, long look around before you throw your filthy accusations at me and insult what is MINE, Neil.” Andrew demanded, teeth bared in something that might have been a smile once, but was nothing more than a snarl now. 

Neil didn’t have the breath to answer. It didn’t matter; Andrew’s angry voice and the loud smack of Neil’s body against the apartment’s stone walls was enough to fill the hall with Foxes. Kevin was the first one to show up in the cousin’s doorway, but Nicky was the one who went for Andrew, stopping just short.

“Get off him, Andrew! He didn’t understand!” Kevin warned. A loud clap of thunder from outside reminded Neil distinctly of Wy’Rhaun, but he wasn’t quite sure.

“Woah, woah, calm down,” Nicky said over Andrew’s shoulder. “Come on, cousin.”

Andrew leaned in closer- just enough to meet Neil’s eyes before he let go of him with one hand and drove an elbow into Nicky’s ribs. Nicky grunted and doubled over, his groan of agony mixing with another roll of thunder so loud it shook the Weyr floors and echoed inside Neil’s mind, making sure he knew Lynth was NOT going to tolerate much more of this from any dragon in HER weyr. Neil wasn’t sure if that was what forced Andrew to release Neil completely or not, but two second later, the blond was turned around and swung on Nicky.

Matt moved forward out of nowhere to step between them to keep Andrew from going after his own cousin, but Andrew only stepped forward again. He was smiling and his stance was casual now that the punch had been thrown, but Matt knew better than to try his luck against the short psychopath. Matt took a step back, silently conceding the fight, and shot Neil a worried look. Nicky got to his feet behind Andrew and shot Neil a look he didn’t see. He refused to look at anyone at all, and pretended the far wall was the most interesting thing he’d seen in years.

The girls chose that moment to step in. Dan, with all the indignant wrath given to her by a golden queen, moved up alongside Matt and swept a dark look between Andrew’s group and Neil and said, “What do you think you’re going? It’s our first day back after hatching- Why are we fighting already?”

“Technically, we were just down in the Den,” Andrew sang. “And Neil’s been here a couple of weeks, so it’s your first day back, queen, not ours.” He leaned to one side, looking past her to her roommate. “Hello, Rennee. About time!”

Dan didn’t give the other- Neil assumed she was Renee- a chance to answer. “Explanation now, Andrew.”

“You’re looking at me like it’s my fault.” Andrew wagged a red knuckled finger at her. “You and Neil should look again, why don’t you? Green’s at our room, which meant he brought the fight to us. Dan, your bias is cruel and unprofessional.”

Dan turned on Neil next. Again, Neil noticed the differences in height now that they were closer and both were standing. Dan was taller, but not by much, and her brown hair was cut mercilessly short in a popular style for female dragonriders (To accommodate constant helmet wearing) and disheveled from moving in. She swept Neil with a quick head-to-toe as if reevaluating him from the night before, brown eyes narrowed. He was sure she was remembering the wake of destruction Tenith had left on the hatching ground. “What’s the problem?”

“There isn’t one,” Neil said. There was no need to get her involved. When Dan jerked a hand between him and Andrew, Neil shrugged. “Just a difference of opinions. Nothing that matters.”

“We’re getting along splendidly,” Andrew said. “Neil even agreed to apologize and come hang out with us till it’s time for first practice. We can help him walk Tenith down, seeing as she’s newly hatched and all.” 

“Oh did he?” Dan asked, obviously skeptical. “The same Tenith that assaulted five weyrlings at Impression, is it?”

They all looked at Neil. He KNEW she had been remembering his beautiful little whiplash. But…. The fact going back with Andrew and his crew was suicidal didn’t mean much anymore, not when Andrew’s lot had taken his dragon. Not with Riko a larger and darker menace than Neil could have ever imagined. Neil had massive damage control to do if he wanted this to be a safe place for Tenith until she was big enough to fly away safely.

“Yes,” Neil said. “I figured with all their help, I can at least encourage her to walk the whole way. I saw one girl carrying her blue on her back this morning. The last thing I want is a lazy dragon, so I took them up on their offer.”

Dan looked ready to argue, but Matt quieted her with a touch on her arm. Dan sent Andrew a suspicious glare, then shook her head. “I don’t know who started this, but the fighting stops now.”

“Always an optimist,” Andrew said, and gave Neil a two-fingered salute. “See you after she’s fed. Don’t run off, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Neil lied.

Andrew vanished into his room, Aaron and Nicky following behind. Kevin was the last to move. He shot Neil a look Neil couldn’t quite read in parting and carefully closed the door behind him. Neil was left staring after them and wondering how he was supposed to survive that short walk. 

He was so busy contemplating that that he had honestly forgotten that he had left the pail of meat in the room, then closed his dragon in there with it. She had thoroughly occupied herself with making the biggest mess possible over the stone floor just inside the room, and when he opened the door, he nearly fell flat on his ass slipping on the smeared blood.

"Hey, man…" Matt moved forward to help steady him, and though Neil insisted he was fine, helped him clean up and take the rest of the food from the hungry little dragon before she could finish more than a quarter of it. Luckily, she was satisfied enough with being fed small morsels at a time until they finished, but then Dan seemed to take pity on them and told Neil she would help him out as well. It had been a little while since she had first taken care of such a tiny dragon, after all, and she still felt a sort of maternal bond with this young one her own dragon had helped to hatch. 

Neil left reality behind when he stepped into Dan's room. Spending a month with Andrew's cracked lot and a volatile Wymack had almost irreparably damaged his image of the Foxes. Now he was sipping on a glass of sweet iced klah ( something he had never tasted before but was decent when cream was added) and eating cookies Renee had brought with her from home while the girls took turns feeding and praising the bright green little beast. They asked Neil about the fight only once more, though, and when Neil brushed it aside, didn't press him.

As they helped feed Tenith, the girls were going over charity projects they wanted to involve the Foxes in that coming season in preparation for Threadfall. Dan sat propped against Matt's shoulder, stained with sticky blood as she considered the possibilities, and nodded as Renee ticked ideas off on her fingers each time she gave Tenith a morsel. She seemed friendly enough now that Andrew was out of sight, but Neil had already noted her spine. She was made of sterner stuff, his mother might have said. Neil guessed she had to be to captain a ragtag team like this. 

Her roommate Renee was a mystery. The Foxes' senior blue rider had bright white hair cut to her chin. The bottom two inches of her hair were dyed in alternating pastel colors. It was interesting enough to warrant a second look, but downright odd when paired with her scant make-up, conservative clothes, and delicate silver egg shaped necklace. Nicky had called her the sweetheart of the team. Neil understood why as he listened to her talk. He had no idea how she qualified for the Foxes' halfway-house team. 

At five Wymack sent a fire-lizard to let them know Seth and Allison (who had gone somewhere to get the only other member of the First Wing Neil had yet to meet) were on their way back to the weyr. They were clearing away their mugs and washing the blood from their hands when Nicky showed up for Neil and Tenith. 

"Don't make me have to send Lynth after you," Dan said, tapping her temple to indicate her communication with her dragon. 

"I know how long it takes to get to the court from here, even with a hatchling. You take him straight there, you get me?" 

Nicky waved her off. "Have a little faith in a guy, Dan." 

"That's Renee's job, not mine. Mine is to make sure we start the year with ten working bodies and ten healthy dragons." 

"It's not like we're going to kill him." 

"Andrew already tried," Matt pointed out. 

"Nah, that was just a love tap." Nicky beckoned to Neil. "Can we go? These people are making me feel extremely unwelcome." He didn't wait for Neil but vanished into the hallway. When Neil stepped out of the girls' room And is hired a now excited Tenith forward, Nicky was jogging to the stairwell. Neil had to hurry the little green after him. Nicky waited until they were in the stairwell to slow. He arched his eyebrows at Neil in exaggerated surprise. 

"So you pick locks now." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Neil said. Nicky waited a beat to see if he'd come to the truth on his own. 

I don't much like this one… Hemmi seems fun, though. I like Hemmi-- Tenith said in an aside to Neil, her awkward half galloping gaint making it hard for him not to stop down and pick her up. With her heavy head and awkward wings, she looked like she was having such a hard time! But, he knew she would grow into both and kept himself in check and reminded himself to focus on the short walk ahead of him. He was just thankful that Wy'Rhaun had helped him with his mental fortitude, and schooled his mental thoughts towards her in nothing but admiration for her cleverness. 

"Why lockpicking? I mean how many locks would you ever encounter here?" 

"My mother's brother was a locksmith." It was a lie that would probably have his rogue uncle tempted to slit his throat next time they met. "He had hopes I would take up the family trade."  
"Hey, can you teach me sometime?" Asked Nicky, and Tenith glared up at him, a low growl growing in her chest. 

"Sorry, Tenith says fuck you if you think we're going to help you be even more like Andrew."

That is not what I said-- the little green hurumphed, then trilled, -- but true. I do not want him to be like another Andrew.-- Neil tried hard not to think about the way she said that. Andrew was dangerous. He had tried to hurt her! He had taken her- and Neil had to keep her away from him.

The blond in question was leaning against his blue dragon's foreleg waiting for them. Kevin was already leaning against his K'holinth, and Aaron was standing with his arms folded in the saddle atop Ardanth. Andrew was between Neil and Yardith- who Tenith absolutely adored and raced straight for him- so Neil had to stop in front of him. 

Nicky kept going around the lleavingarge dragon to stand beside Hemmi and watch Yardith bend his neck to look right at the excited youngster, entertaining her while leaving Neil to Andrew's nonexistent mercy. "You waited for us," Andrew said with feigned surprise. "A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you." He urged, motioning up to Yardith. 

"You want me to ride?" 

"We need to have a talk."

Neil climbed into the saddle and Andrew followed him up, sandwiching the cushion between between then before giving the crest just in front of the saddle a firm pat. Neil automatically looked over the side to see what Tenith was doing but she was happily prancing between the large dragons, preening at the attention and feeling quite proud of herself for being so great as to be escorted by the marvelous monsters. They seemed to think that was hilarous and as they took slow, steady steps to allow her to keep up, they doted on her. 

Andrew leaned up against his back, keeping his voice quiet. "After everything we've done for you, you have to start a fight with us. For shame, Neil." 

"You started this fight a month ago," Neil said. "If you want it to stop, leave me alone." 

"I like fighting. It's just troublesome when the Weyrleader and Abby and the other busybodies start crying foul. Show some consideration." 

"You show some consideration and stay out of my things." 

"How do you know it was us, anyway? Maybe it was Matt. Innocent until proven guilty fails in the skies of Pern." 

"I haven't heard you deny it yet." 

"You wouldn't believe me anyway." 

"I don't believe anything you say." 

"Believe this, Neil: I didn't steal your precious Tenith out of your room just because I wanted to rifle through your things or make you tremble in fear like you're so good at doing. Have you ever considered what happens to a child who wakes up scared and alone?" Andrew all but purred, lips pressed against Neil's ear, forcing him to suppress a hard shudder. Had he been wrong…? Had Tenith woken up and been scared, locked away in the room like Neil had left her…? But Andrew didn't care enough to go in and help comfort her. He couldn't. And he couldn't talk to dragons, anyways… unless… Neil remembered the promise that Yardith would be watching, and the gentle way Andrew smiled at Damien. "It's a shame that that was what brought you to my room in the end, too. After all I've done for you- you still don't trust me… claim you're so terribly unafraid of me that you can actually 'handle' me, and then you went and accused me of stealing the only thing you're staying for? You can't put a leash on me, Neil, and you can't make me out to be worse than I actually am. Don't think you can, okay? And don't be stupid enough to tell other people you will. It's not safe. You'll make me want to break you." 

"You?" Neil said, defiant even if doubt raked at his insodes. "You can't." 

Neil felt Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" The vibrations made his fingers twitch against the saddle, and he looked down, seeing how Andrew so casually held the crest in front of them.

"Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do." 

"I know for sure she never did," Andrew said. "Well, she had to take offense to the dying part, but I thought that was rather fun. But you're right." He leaned back and slapped the heel of his palm against his temple as if something obvious had just occurred to him. "I do as I please. Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday." He let go of Neil and held up five fingers as he leaned forward again, smiling at Neil through them. 

"You have five days to meet the others. Five days of practices and all of the Weyrleader's ridiculous bonding nonsense. Then it's our turn on Friday. You can get to know us off the island." 

"We'll take you out to dinner," Nicky said across the expanse between their dragons and Neil knew Andrew had spoken louder just so that he could hear. "We used to live in Columbia Hold, so we know all the best spots. Even better, we've got a free place to crash so we don't have to worry about flying back drunk or exhausted. It'll be a blast." 

"I don't drink or dance," Neil said, assuming they meant to go to one of the night time parties larger city holds were making popular these days. His mother had beaten a healthy fear of them into him, and he didn't know if he could handle purposely walking into one, especially knowing Riko and his father's men were out there. 

"That's all right," Andrew said. "Kevin doesn't dance anymore and I never do. You can drink mead and talk to us while the others make fools of themselves. We can't get through this year with this little misunderstanding between us, so we'll take a night off and fix it." 'Fix' was a strange choice of words, and Neil knew Andrew wouldn't just let go of the fact that Neil accused him of malice when he had only been looking out for Tenith long after their agreed upon time… and still hadn't answered him. 

Neil knew one of them would have to break for them to get along, and the smile on his lips said Andrew understood that too. It was obvious Andrew expected him to be the first to give ground. Neil knew he should. It was past time to concede. But Neil wanted to prove him wrong, at least on the point of Andrew being able to protect him, no matter how stupid it was. 

"If I go, promise me you'll never touch anything of mine ever again." 

"So possessive," Andrew said. 

"Of course I am," Neil said. "Tenith is everything I have." 

Andrew considered that, then answered with a mad grin. "Okay. One night with us, and no more break-ins. Friday night will be fun." 

Neil highly doubted that. They reached the training ground a few moments later, and sent their dragons to playing with Tenith in the center of the weyr bowl as they met the others standing just beyond the brightly painted lounge. 

Andrew pointed at Neil, then waved at Tenith. "Look, one piece." 

"Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. 

"Nowhere vital," Neil said. 

Renee intervened before her friends could react. "Why don't we wait inside for Seth and Allison? We've got a while and it's a little warm out here." 

"Maybe they'll get in a crash and won't make it," Nicky said hopefully. 

"Really, Nicky," Renee said. "That's a little inappropriate, don't you think?" She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier than the dirty looks Matt and Dan were sending Nicky, maybe because she was so sweetly disappointed in Nicky's attitude. Nicky dropped his gaze from hers and gave an uncomfortable shrug. Neil mentally shushed Tenith when the green pointed out that it was the first time he seemed to actually understand that he should have kept his mouth shut from the start. 

"Let's go," Dan said, and led the way past the locked door. Wymack and Abby were perched on the entertainment center in the lounge when they arrived. Dan's annoyance faded under real warmth as she greeted the pair, and reminded Neil exactly why she was such a good queen rider. 

Andrew's group went straight to one of the couches while Matt waited for the girls on the other. Neil picked a cushion where he could keep an eye on everyone. After Renee's friendly greetings, she retired to Matt's couch. They left a space between them for Dan. Dan stayed with Wymack a while longer, chatting animatedly about the summer Exy major leagues. 

It took almost twenty minutes for the final two Foxes to arrive, and Neil felt the tension in the room change when the door banged open. Neil noted his teammates' reactions and mentally divided the team into four groups: Dan's three, Andrew's four, the new arrivals, and himself. 

Seth Gordon was the first into the room and he brought an attitude problem with him. He didn't look happy to see any of them again after tandhe hatching and apparently going wherever he had gone to do whatever he had done overnight hadn't been enough of a vacation, and he barely grunted at the staff in greeting. He took a second to scowl fiercely at Neil, who was sure he didn't know him but figured it was more because he was a new rider trying to sit in on first wing matters, but that was it. He threw himself onto one of the open cushions, all long limbs and black anger, and glared at the doorway as he waited for his companion to arrive. 

Allison Reynolds was only a few seconds behind him. She stopped in the doorway to glower across the room at her surly teammate, leaving Neil to wonder what had happened between them when she went to go and pick him up. Neil had seen the pictures of Allison on the walls, but she still required a second look. The Reynolds were rich Lord Holders thanks to their world-class luxury vacationing steads. Allison grew up a Pernese princess and a celebrity through her association with her family's clients. Rumor had it she lost her inheritance when she chose Exy and dragons over joining the family business, but Allison still looked like a Gather day star. 

Everyone else was in sturdily woven leggings or trousers and rumpled from moving in. Allison looked ready for a sitting session with the best painters of the Finearts Crafthall with perfect platinum curls, thick leather riding boots, and a skintight ensemble that wasn't riding gear but a stylish variation that made sure everyone knew she flew the skies. 

"Nice to see you two, too," Wymack said dryly. Allison skipped him to nod at Abby. 

"You survived the summer." 

"By the grace of the first golden Queen," Abby said. "It doesn't get easier, that's for sure." 

Allison swept the room with a look, lip curling a little in scorn as she spotted Andrew's group. Her gaze settled on Neil and she studied him a moment, expression calculating. "I'm going to sit with you," she said. She crossed the room to perch on the edge of his cushion. 

There wasn't really room for her there; she had to lean against him to keep her balance. She wound an arm around his shoulders to keep from sliding off and crossed her legs at the knee. The move tightened her already tight leggings, showing off a healthy stretch of toned, surely sun-tanned thighs. Neil saw it in his peripheral vision but kept his gaze on Allison's face. 

His skin stung with the memory of his mother's heavy blows. Life on the run meant no time for friends or relationships, but that didn't stop Neil from checking out girls as he grew older. His mother's watchful eye noticed his lingering looks and increasing distraction. Afraid he'd spill their secrets over a childish crush, she beat him like she could kill his hormones with her bare hands. A few years of this violence and Neil finally got the hint: girls were too dangerous to consort with. 

Allison was beautiful but off-limits. 

"I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. 

"No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. Neil wondered if Tenith could tell Seth's dragon there was nothing for him to worry about, but as soon as he prodded, the feisty little green told him she would NOT talk with that angry brute. 

Allison looked back at Wymack and flicked her fingers in an impatient gesture. "This will be quick, won't it? I've had a long day and I'm exhausted." 

"You're the ones slowing this down," Wymack said, and stabbed a finger at Neil. "First order of business: Neil Josten, our new Green. He rides Tenith. Got anything to say?" 

When Neil shook his head, Wymack jerked a thumb between Allison and Seth. "You already met everyone else. If you haven't met their dragons, then you should Dan rides the queen Lynth. Matt has bronze Marthe, and Renee rides blue Ker'la. Here's the last of them: Seth Gordon, rider of brown Dono, and Allison Reynolds, our rider of Green Rey'na. Questions, comments, concerns? Anyone?" 

Seth pointed at Neil and said angrily, "I'm fucking concerned—" Neil guessed Wymack had heard this argument before, because he spoke over Seth like he didn't hear him. 

"All right, then. Moving on. Abby?" Abby got down from her perch and passed a long scroll of parchment to Dan to sign and pass on to the others. "Same boring contracts as always. Sign your name on the appropriate lines and give this scroll back to me first thing tomorrow. You can't practice until I have this on file and if one of you don't sign it I'll have to write out another draft and it'll take even longer for you to get in the skies. 

"Summer practices start at 8:30 in the morning. Enjoy sleeping in while you can, because we're moving to 6:00 when the Harper lessons start. We're meeting at the beach. I repeat, we're meeting at the beach. If you're late because you came here instead of there I will put my metal soles riding boot through your face. You've only been watching the egg for a couple of months. I know you all know how this works." 

"Yes, Weyrleadee," the team chorused, though Neil kicked himself for forgetting that in the Weyr, everyone was expected to attend their basic Harper classes, and then go on to specialize in certain fields. It was usually very expensive to do this, but dragon riders got free secondary education thanks to their special job fields. Now Neil had to figure out what he wanted to specialize in and what classes he needed to take. He was sure that if he didn't, it would just be one more thing they could use to take Tenith from him. At least, he knew the core of his classes would center around the basic dragon riders classes. All new riders would be put together to learn about Thread, dragons, flying, falling, atmosphere, weather conditions, and all sorts of things Neil didn't even know but were probably necessary for being a good rider. 

"Physicals get done before you leave today. Andrew, you're first. Seth, you're going second. The rest of you draw straws or something. It's up to you. Don't even think of leaving before you've seen Abby." He gave Andrew's lot the evil eye. Andrew and Nicky affected innocent looks that fooled no one. Abby went to stand behind Kevin. 

Wymack hesitated before reaching for the papers stacked facedown at his side. "Last order of business from me today is our Harper Drum messages regarding the Way schedule." 

"Already?" Matt asked. "It's only the sixth month." 

"We don't have dates yet, but the Harper Hall made some changes that will make this spring look like a cakewalk. They're notifying the weyrleaders in our district one by one to try and control the fallout. It has potential to get ugly." 

"How could it be worse than the shit we dealt with last year?" Seth asked. 

Matt counted off on his fingers. "The break-ins, threatening drum messages, rabid apprentice Harpers, vandalism… you remember all those fires they left burning on the dragon rocks? Marthe got burned from that shit," he frowned, and Neil sent a pointed look over to Andrew, who didn't even deign to look his way.

"Personal favorite was when someone told the Harper Enforcers we were running a bluepowder lab out of the weyr," Dan said sourly. 

"Harper Enforcer raids are awesome." 

"The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth." 

"Fuck you, faggot," Seth said. 

"I don't like that word," Andrew said. "Don't use it." 

"I would say 'fuck you, freak', but then you wouldn't know which one of you I was talking to." 

"Don't talk to us at all," Aaron said. "You never have anything useful to say." 

"Enough," Wymack said. "We don't have time for petty bullshit this year. We've got a new weyr in our district." Neil glanced at Kevin where he sat white-faced and rigid. Four men on one couch meant Andrew's group was sitting crushed together with Kevin and Andrew in the middle. Even on drugs Andrew couldn't miss the way Kevin went tense, but with his medicine in his veins he thought it was funny. 

He grinned up at Kevin, but the smile evaporated off his face when Wymack spoke. "Telgar's come West." 

Shock silenced the team, but not for long. "No way," Dan said sharply. "That isn't funny, Weyrleader." 

Seth apparently thought otherwise because he started laughing. Aaron, Nicky, and Matt drowned each other out as they demanded explanations. Allison made a shrill noise of disbelief that left Neil's right ear ringing. Renee, like Neil, watched Andrew and Kevin and said nothing. 

Wymack tried explaining the Harper Hall's logic, but he kept his attention on Andrew. It didn't take the team long to notice his distraction. The hubbub slowly died out. As it did, Andrew's smile returned. This time it was all teeth. Andrew's Felicity root made him manic, but they didn't make him any less vicious. Neil knew what that smile meant and braced for violence. 

"Hey, Kevin," Andrew said. "Hear that? Someone really misses you." 

"The Master Harper shouldn't have approved it," Kevin said, so quietly Neil barely heard him. 

"You said he would come for you." 

"I didn't know it would be like this." 

"Liar," Andrew said, and Kevin flinched. 

Andrew twisted to sit sideways on the couch so he could see Kevin better. It put his back against Nicky's side. Nicky leaned away from his deranged cousin, knuckles white where he was holding onto one of the loose cushions. Andrew either didn't notice or didn't care how uncomfortable he was making Nicky. He had eyes only for Kevin. Kevin looked sick to his stomach, but he wasn't panicking over this bombshell. Andrew had no problems interpreting that pseudo-strength. 

"You did know about this," Andrew said. "How long? One day, two days, three four five?" 

"Coach told me when the messages came in yesterday." 

"Yesterday? Yester- day, Day. A little curious, Kevin Day. When were you going to tell me?" 

"I told him not to," Wymack said, and Neil was thankful he wasn't singled out for knowing, too. 

"You picked the Weyrleader over me?" Andrew asked, and laughed. "Ohhhh my. Favoritism, deception, betrayal, how familiar. After all I've done for you." Neil winced at the familiar words.

"Andrew, knock it off," Abby warned him fro just behind Kevin. Neil realized she had gone over for support now, but couldn't imagine what SHE could do to help. 

"Help me," Kevin said, almost a whisper. 

Andrew clucked his tongue and cocked his head to one side. "Help you? Help a man who lies to my face, so easily? How?" 

"I want to stay," Kevin said. "I'll ask you again: don't let him take me away." 

"You're the one who would tell him yes," Andrew said, and Neil remembered how important that word had been to the blond. "Maybe you forgot." 

"Please." 

"You know how much I hate that word." 

Kevin stared down at his hands where they were clenched in his lap, eyes on the scars that were visible now that he wore a pair of short cut trousers that would allow him to stay cool as they practiced in the hot sun. Neil had only gotten to look that one time in the shower, since he didn't want Kevin to catch him staring. They were jagged messes curving and circling around his toned thighs and calves, biting into the muscles here and there and no doubt making it hard to even move, let alone ride. Andrew heaved an exaggerated sigh and held his hand out, blocking Kevin's view of his legs. 

"Look at me," Andrew said. 

Kevin turned a haunted look on him. Neil wasn't sure how Andrew could smile at such an empty stare, drugs notwithstanding. Neil felt Kevin's despair all the way across the room, and it was such a familiar feeling he thought he'd be sick. 

"It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. 

The dead edge melted out of his eyes as he absorbed every ounce of strength Andrew could give him. The unwavering trust Kevin had in Andrew was amazing. How Kevin thought one psychotic midget could protect him against a family as twisted as the Moriyamas, Neil didn't know. Neil thought he should be impressed, but all he felt was bitterness. He swallowed hard against the churning in his stomach and looked away. 

Wymack watched them a minute longer, then nodded. "The Harper Hall will make their official announcement later this month during the seasonal Gather at the Hall. They agreed to wait until you were done with the hatching and focussed on the Games again where it's easier for us to protect you. That doesn't mean you can be careless. Chuck—that's our Lord Holder Charles Whittier, Neil—has reissued orders that outside Harper gossip runners stay out of our weyr without a Enforcer escort this summer. You'll see twice as many Weyr guards around, and I need all of you to let their fire-lizards memorize their faces for emergency messages and to know who to alert when something's the matter. Understand?" Neil didn't own a fire-lizard, but he joined the others in saying, "Yes, Weyrleader." The room went quiet, and Neil couldn't stand it anymore. 

"Anything else, Weyrleader, or are we finished?" 

"This is a big deal," Dan said. "It changes everything. You don't understand." 

"Neil found out when Kevin did," Wymack said. "I already had the talk with him, so he understands just fine. And no, there's nothing else. Abby, they're all yours. Do with them what you will." Neil felt his heart skip but made a point not to look at Andrew as he got to his feet and started for the door without a backward glance. Dan tried to call him back for his physical, but Abby quieted her. 

Renee caught up with him outside. "Unfortunately this news means Andrew can't give you a ride back to the apartment," she said. "Kevin needs him right now and that trumps whatever agreement you two had. If you're okay with waiting a bit, though, you're more than welcome to walk with us. There's no need to go alone." 

Neil meant to say no, but what came out was, "Why does Kevin trust Andrew?" 

Renee smiled. "Because he knows he can." 

"With so much at stake," Neil pressed, as if she didn't understand what was going on as well as he did. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she couldn't understand what Kevin was risking and what he would face if Andrew failed. She wasn't like them. She was normal, or as normal as the Foxes could hope to be. Gangs and blood feuds were things out of movies. Neil hated that she couldn't understand, but he hated more that he did. "With so much at stake he honestly thinks Andrew is enough?" 

Renee held out her hand to him. "Neil," she said, so gently he wondered if she'd even heard him. "Neil, please wait for us." 

"No," Neil said, taking a step back. "I know the way. Thank you." He turned to call for Tenith and jogged towards her when he saw the darting green. Renee didn't call after him, but he felt her stare on the back of his head. 

He thought he would feel better with Tenith at his side chatting about nice everyone had been to her and how she didn't care for Seth's Dono and how she was sure she would grow up bigger even than Hemmi, who was quite nice to her, but he reached the dorm in worse spirits than he'd left the lounge. He tried to distract himself by putting his things away and organizing his trunk, but he ended up pacing the room with a new and slightly larger travel bag in his hands. Damien had given him one when Neil complained his old one was threads but Neil had still paid for it with what limited marks he had. 

His fifth time around he couldn't take it anymore. He fell to his knees and yanked at his dresser, hurriedly unloading his few outfits so he could start stuffing them into the bag. Tenith watched him, her huge eyes whirling muddy browns and silvery greys. When she nudged up against his back, crooning in a way that conveyed her distress over his odd behavior, he found himself turning to her and flinging his arms around her to hold her tight. 

He shouldn't have come here. He shouldn't have stayed long enough for Impression. Shouldn't have let this precious thing make him her partner- shouldn't have stayed once he heard about the district change and found out who the Moriyamas were. Andrew getting into his things should be the last straw, even though Andrew said he broke in to comfort Tenith. He couldn't bring himself to ask her what the truth was for fear that Andrew was telling the truth, though. 

Panic told him to go now, but Neil couldn't move. A quieter voice beneath his fear kept him from getting up again, arms locked around his precious green. Neil still remembered Kevin's breakdown at Wymack's that morning. Kevin's fear cut him wide open because Neil knew that feeling. Every day Neil woke up and relearned how to breathe. He gave himself two minutes every morning to calculate his chances of getting caught, weigh the benefits of staying wherever he was, and talk himself through his fear. 

Did Kevin do the same? 

The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make. Neil slowly untangled his arms from around his marvelous, beautiful Tenith and she nuzzled against his face to dry his tears, crooning even more as she fell short for words. Carefully, he took a few deep breaths until He could unpack his bag without his hands shaking, then went to the window, pulled the cord that would activate the mechanism and shoved the pane up as far as he could. 

The deep ledge kept him from leaning out, but he pressed against the stone so hard his shoulder creaked. He carefully pulled out the long pipe he had managed to snatch from Wymacks apartment and filled the barrel with tobacco before he lit it and took a few drags before watching it burn. The acrid smell of smoke and fire took the edge of his nerves, but the familiar and quiet grief that followed made everything worse, especially when Tenith pressed up against his legs and stared up at him with such love and worried devotion. 

No matter how alike he and Kevin really were, the critical difference between them made Neil feel worlds away from all of this. Kevin had Andrew to lean on, and Neil had no one at all to confide his hopelessness and loneliness in. Not even Tenith. Whether Neil left today or tomorrow or next week, he'd leave alone- he couldn't afford to take her with him. He couldn't have her. Couldn't hold her. She was too good. Too pure. Too sweet and dependent on him and he wasn't strong enough to keep her safe. Two, five, ten years from now, if Neil was even still alive, he'd still be alone- because someone would have found him, and killed her. No matter how fast or far he ran. He could be anyone, anywhere in the world, but as long as he had Tenith, he had something to lose. 

He'd never trust anyone enough to let them in. 

And that was why Neil couldn't go. 

Feeling too conflicted, he turned to look down at his precious girl. Even if everything in Neil screamed at him to run, Neil couldn't do it. He couldn't do that to Her. Not after seeing that little show between Kevin and Andrew today. Maybe he was pathetic, or maybe he was too jealous to walk away. Maybe Neil just needed to understand. 

Why did Kevin always get more? 

Kevin lived with an awful family, but he had a home and a reputation and a following. He grew up in the spotlight while Neil was left looking over his shoulder in a dozen Holds around the whole of Pern. Kevin lost his legs but gained his freedom. He was stubborn enough and skilled enough to pick up where he'd left off, even if it meant learning how to fly all over again. He had a coach and a teammate willing to defy the Moriyamas for him. He had K'holinth, who flew Between for him, who was so loved by even his worst enemy's beloved dragon that he was able to pull Kevin to freedom.

Why? Why did Kevin deserve all that? Why did he deserve Neil? Why should Neil hesitate here and worry about him when Neil's own life was on the line? When Tenith's life was on the line? After the way Kevin and Andrew treated him this summer, Neil should be happy. This was the perfect time to duck out. The team would assume Neil was a scared kid who couldn't deal with the Moriyama truth and the harpers would be too busy following Kevin and Riko to dwell on another failed Fox. Neil should send Riko an anonymous thank-you note by fire-lizard and go over the border to Fort. 

But Neil couldn't, not yet. He shook a clump of ash off onto the windowsill and pushed his finger against it, smearing it into a dark streak on the white painted stone. He looked down into Tenith's eyes and searched them for his mother's furious face. "One of us has to make it." 

It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. Even Tenith couldn't help him, as tiny as she was. But maybe Kevin could do it. Maybe he'd get through this somehow, riding his K'holinth and Andrew's psychotic obsession and Wymack's fierce protection. Maybe he'd get through this season on the Foxes' first wing and be safe. He'd learn to fly and he'd be free. Neil couldn't leave until he knew Kevin would be okay- nd Tenith couldn't fly yet anyway. He didn't want to find out from half the world away. 

He sucked in a slow, deep breath, trying to inhale as much smoke as he could, and watched as his long pipe burned the tobacco down to the filter. He went through two more boluses before he could hear Matt and Seth on the other side of the door in Tenith's room. Neil knocked the third bolus out when he heard the front door to their common room open on the far side and scraped ash off the windowsill out into the sea breeze that whipped past. He stuffed what was left of the tobacco into his pack for later, and kicked his things into some semblance of order as he rubbed his face and quickly reassured Tenith that everything was alright and he would be fine. He wasn't leaving her, he loved her! Too much! He had just been worried, that was all. Concerned. She was too perfect to leave! Soon enough, she seemed to take his reassurances and settled back into bed when he coaxed her down in the warm straw, so he went out to greet his teammates, making sure to keep an eye on his door when he did so. 

He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end, but he forced himself to shove thst as far away from the front of his mind as possible. He was again thankful for all the help Wy'Rhaun had given him in hiding his mental thoughts. 

Seth came in first and heaved his suitcases off to one side. He was mid-rant and needed his hands free for angry gesturing. Matt was behind him with a tolerant look on his face and a third bag in his hands. Matt pushed the door shut and passed the bag to Seth, who threw it after the others. Neil wasn't sure who Seth was angriest at: Abby, Allison, or Andrew's group. 

His rant went back and forth between all of them without a logical pattern. He stopped only when he ran out of colorful language, and Neil hoped Tenith was still asleep. The last thing he needed was her using THOSE words in his mind all day. Finally he threw his hands up in disgust and turned on Neil. "And to make it all worse, I get stuck with a fucking baby as a second!" 

"Kevin approved him," Matt said. 

"Like that makes me feel any better- he only just got his dragon." Seth glared at Neil. Neil stared back, unimpressed by his rage. 

His apathy only served to incense Seth further. "We were a bad joke; now we're a practical one. When the others find out about this, we're going to win our games only because they'll be too busy laughing to take us seriously. We were supposed to make it this year. I trusted him to pick our sub because he said he could get us past the championships death match. But this is repulsive- he can't even fly yet." 

"At least give Neil a chance," Matt said. 

"Day's fucking with us," Seth said. "It isn't right." 

"This attitude isn't right," Matt said, pointing at him. "Kevin would never recruit someone just to make us look bad—we do that well enough on our own. If you want us to win this year, act like it. We need a cohesive offensive line. Since you and Kevin are a lost cause, you're going to have to make it work with Neil." 

"He's short, he can't fly, and he looks like he has an attitude problem." 

"Coach says he's got potential." Matt looked at Neil. "Andrew says you're fast, and your green is faster." 

Neil frowned. "When did he say that?" 

"When do you think, wiseass?" Seth asked. "We talked all kinds of shit about you after you booked it." 

"Dan asked what they thought of you," Matt said before Neil could react. "Nicky thinks you need more time with us. Aaron says you have to be more aggressive. Kevin didn't say anything, which would normally be weird since Kevin's not known for mincing words, but I guess he's distracted. But Andrew bets you can outrun everyone on this team. Coach said you clocked a four-minute mile back in Redstone. That true? You're a little short to run so fast." 

"I like running," Neil said. 

"Fuck running," Seth said. "Learn to fly. Word is you just learned your aerial coordinates." 

"Yes," Neil admitted. "But I do know them now." 

"When you learn to fly them, you can talk to me," Seth said. "Until then, stay out of my way and try not to drag down my wing too much." 

"Welcome to the Foxhole Court," Matt added dryly as Seth grabbed his suitcase and stormed into the bedroom. Neil wondered if it was supposed to be an ironic nickname since they were nowhere near Court level, but said nothing. "Hey, let's hit downtown for dinner tonight. We might as well enjoy ourselves before this blows up in our faces, and I don't want to be here when Andrew's between doses. Can you two handle each other while I check with the girls?" 

"Probably," Neil said. He and Seth managed to get along until Matt came back, but that was only because they ignored each other. Seth was busy moving in and Neil was happy to stay out of his way and go watch Tenith sleeping. When Seth was done with the bedroom and had moved on to the living room, Neil closed his bedroom door and went to reapply the Sightroot around his eyes. Matt pulled out a very well made flute and killed time twiddling with it until it was time to rendezvous with the others when he came back. 

"Downtown" referred to a long street of stone made shops branching off the weyr just a short ways from the side of the training grounds. Mostly the stores sold dragonrider paraphernalia, but there were a couple stationary and leather working workshops and a half-dozen pubs. It was like a ghost town now with so few people around after the hatching was done. Half of the places they passed had signs up that they'd reopen closer to the start of the season. The rest stayed open in hopes of drawing in the summer Harper students and the dragon riders that would be filtering back home over the next couple weeks. 

They ended up at a place that was half-bar, half-pizza joint. Neil particularly liked pizza, since he knew how to make it and the ingredients for it were so cheap to buy. Even without a stove, if you had a pan and a campfire you could make a hearty pizza just about anywhere on Pern. The L-shaped stone corner booth was perfect for Neil, who could take an end spot on the bench and watch his teammates, and their dragons blazed about in the road and small hill behind the shop, all relaxing comfortably and rumbling lowly amongst themselves, carrying on a conversation. Neil listened for Tenith's charming trills and chitters, and found it more than a little comforting that Marthe and Lynth doted on her. Even Ker'la radiated admiration for the little one.

Despite that, he expected the same loud madness inside the restaurant he'd seen at the Den his first night in the Weyr, especially after seeing the tension Seth and Allison added to the team. He was pleasantly surprised. Whatever their differences, the upperclassmen had had years to get used to them, and they carried a table-wide conversation for most of dinner. Even Seth and Allison made attempts to get along, though Neil attributed that civility to the beer. 

He stayed out of all of it, and for the most part they let him. He'd done the meet-and-greet thing with Dan's group after his fight with Andrew, and Seth and Allison simply didn't care to know him better. The only times anyone asked him anything at dinner was when Dan or Matt wanted his opinion on the matter at hand. 

They were halfway through dinner when Dan and Matt ducked out. Neil saw them leave, but aside from Allison nudging Renee meaningfully, no one said anything about it. 

No one mentioned the district change, either, though it had to be on everyone's mind. 

They pretty much had the restaurant to themselves, but the lack of other chatter meant their voices carried easier. Dan and Matt came back eventually, looking a little worse for wear. Neil briefly wondered how they could do such a thing knowing their dragons would feel it, too, but then he remembered the affection Lynth showed Marthe and figured it must be mutual all around. Not that it mattered to him. His Tenith was still a baby, and he had no desire to subject her to THAT and possibly stunt her growth or any other horrible thing Nicky mentioned before. 

Dan picked up their check from the bartender on her way back to the table. Seth toasted Matt with what was left of his beer, but his eyes were on Allison when he did so. Dan and Matt led the way back to the dorm hand in hand. Renee walked behind them with Seth and Allison. Neil was happy to take up the rear, walking beside Tenith while the other dragons flew high above them, tracing lazy spirals in the sky. 

When they made it back to their side of the apartments, Nicky was waiting for them in the hallway. 

"Hey, Renee," Nicky said. "You mind calling Andrew's fire-lizard?" 

"Did he lose it?" Renee asked, calling her own pretty bronze to her side. Neil watched curiously. He had seen a group of fire-lizards flickering in and out all around the group, but Andrew only ever stared vacantly after them or casually fed them morsels when he wasn't hungry. Neil didn't know he owned one of his own.

"I did," Nicky said. "And, uh, the man who owns it. Ardanth isn't answering any of Hemmi's questions, either, and we haven't seen him anywhere on the island." 

"Jesus, Nicky," Matt said. "Weyrleader told you to keep an eye on him tonight." 

"I know what he said." Nicky made a face at Matt. "You try it sometime." 

"Where's Kevin?" Dan demanded. 

"Hasn't left his bed since we got back," Nicky said. "Aaron's watching him." 

Renee held up a hand to ask for quiet. Everyone fell silent immediately to watch her. She had her fire-lizard held up to eye level and it stared back at her, it's tiny dragon form poised against her forearm and it's long, thin tail curling around her elbow, but neither said anything, likely conveying mental images back and forth to each other until the message was understood. After a moment, she gently released her fingers from around his torso, and the little bronze flickered out into Between.

Neil knew someone must have answered by the way Renee smiled when he came back, but he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking about Andrew, even to a fire-lizard. "Did I wake him?" she asked in lieu of hello. Her dragonnet chittered at her. "I was hoping to talk to him tonight, but Nicky says he wandered off. Oh? All right, then. I'll try again tomorrow. Lunch, perhaps?" She asked. Again, the little beastie flickered out, and returned after another moment. "Okay. Please tell him I said good night." She urged the bronze, reaching in her pocket and handing the cutie a couple of small morsels for a job well done before he flickered off again. 

"He's at the Weyrleader's. Maybe Wymack wanted to make sure he took his medicine tonight." Renee gave Nicky's shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "He's safe. Kevin's safe. Get some rest. There's nothing else we can do tonight except lock our doors and pray." 

"Thanks," Nicky said, and he disappeared back into his room. They split up to their rooms to prep for bed. Neil climbed over the many pillows and cushions to his own mattress, and though he knew it was customary for her to sleep in her own straw, he let Tenith curl up next to him. The simple pleasure of having a real bed didn't last long. After the glow baskets were covered and his roommates had quieted down on the other side of the door, Neil was left with just the darkness and his thoughts. He lay awake long into the night, feeling Tenith's warm, sleek body breathing in that too fast way most children with small lungs did, thinking about Andrew and his Yardith’s huge multifaceted eyes demanding ‘Trust me or die’. 

When he finally slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.


	8. Dragon's Bane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday is finally upon them, but is Neil really ready for what Andrew has planned for him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm thinking about ending things here since it's getting kind of long, but let me know if you guys want more. 
> 
> Second of all, Friends, there is some more drug use (this time Neil is forced, just like in the book) and Nicky pushes Neil quite a bit sexually. Just like in the book (kissing and holding him, crawling into bed with him) but it's enough to be a potential trigger. Please be aware.
> 
> Also, I write Nicky quite differently in this since we see a bit more into Neil's mind, and a LOT of Neil's struggles are changed to accommodate his honesty. Bare with me- it's just my own interpretation of how it COULD have gone IF...

By Neil's third day as a dragon man, he had no idea how the Foxes made it to Exy championships last spring. His guess that the team was made up of four groups was partially accurate, but the lines he'd drawn were flexible. Whenever Allison and Seth were fighting (which happened so frequently he had no idea why they were together in the first place), Allison ended up with the girls and Seth retreated to Matt. It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around. Neil didn't know what triggered the abrupt and constant change in emotions. He hoped he never understood, and quieted Tenith's snarky remark that he could be lucky and end up living just long enough to anyway.

The entire first week of summer practices was eaten up by in-fighting as the wing hierarchy fell into place again. When Dan was acting as their queen, she ruled them with the same angry spine Neil saw that first day. She and Lynth didn't hesitate to push people into line and the Foxes let them have the final say in everything. Even Yardith followed her orders, though Neil guessed it was because he was just as amused by this new game as Andrew was by Dan's supposed fearlessness. Kevin knew more about the sport than any of them ever would and he had some lingering authority from his stint as their assistant coach, but his cold personality was a turn-off and his approach made it hard for the others to listen to him without snapping back. He caused the majority of the arguments that week, and most of those fights were between him and Seth. 

Kevin and Seth hated each other with a loathing second only to what Seth and Nicky felt for each other. It took only one wrong word to turn their arguments into physical brawls, though Neil was astonished at how they always hopped off their dragons and never aimed for the kill. It turned out there were laws against lethal duels between dragon men, though Neil knew there were some who only took that as a suggestion rather than a law. The fighting hit a peak on Wednesday afternoon when Andrew left practice early for his weekly therapy session with the HarperHealer Neil had managed to avoid all month. The second he vanished, Seth went for Kevin with fists flying. In truth, Neil wasn't surprised by the coward but he did remind himself to keep sleeping with his knife under his pillow from now on. 

Matt was the brute force that kept them in line when Dan's words weren't enough, and Neil found himself admiring the bronze more and more by the day. He was a good man- too good to know Neil's life even with his past drug abuse- but a good man. Because of Kevin's injury and Andrew's apathy, Matt was also the best flyer the Foxes had after the queen. Neil privately thought Matt should have been named weyrleader already because of the solidarity he could bring the wing, but he also respected Wymack's experience. Whatever happened between Matt and Andrew last year, he seemed to have an understanding with the cousins, which meant the Foxes had a solid defense line against Thread, both for the coming year and in the Exy games. 

His relationship with Kevin was harder for Neil to figure out. His skill and commitment meant Kevin was willing to work with and listen to him, but the two of them went from perfect understanding to outright antagonism constantly. It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones. Again, he shushed Tenith when she queried him about what that meant and she purposely inserted 'sexual undertones' into any other comment she had for him just to annoy him when he wouldn't explain.

Renee was next in line and the eye of the storm. She doled out friendly advice, encouraged her teammates' efforts, and played mediator occasionally. She didn't get involved in the others' fights, either to take sides or preach peace, and no one argued with a word she said. Even Andrew seemed quite taken with her. Tenith's assumption that there were no sexual undertones there went ignored. Neil saw them talking off to the side several times throughout the week. It was obvious no one else approved of their odd friendship, but neither goalkeeper paid any mind to the unhappy looks sent their way. Neil wasn't sure what to make of it. He was less sure what to think about Renee, so he avoided her whenever he could. 

The rest of the Foxes fell in under them in an ever-shifting order. Seth's position on the team varied the most. He was the Weyr's longest tenant, being on the original wing Wymack tried to start with, but he was too much of an isolationist to make much of a difference on the court. His mood was so volatile Neil was sure he had to be on something. Why Abby and Wymack hadn't put an end to it, Neil didn't know. 

Allison also carried weight because of her seniority and her aggressive attitude in the sky, but she absolutely loathed the cousins- or 'monster's as she exclusively called them - and didn't like working with them. 

Aaron was a better player than Nicky was, but he kept a clinical distance from it all, and Ardanth didn't seem interested in anything or anyone. He didn't even really talk to Neil. 

Nicky gave it everything he had, but he liked dramatic plays and liked picking fights with Allison and Seth even more. Yardithpointedly explained just how little she liked him. Almost as little as she liked Seth. Though, she could deal with Hemmi, who was sweet and played fun gamed with her. She pointedly did not mention Seth's dragon, Dono. 

Andrew's position was hard to figure out. His influence over Kevin and his skill made him useful, but he put in as little effort as Wymack let him get away with. It was confusing, because Neil distinctly remembered him boasting about how he would fly Thread and protect Palmetto. Even if he didn't like playing the game, Exy was practice for that and he only put forth as much effort as it took to slip into the saddle and tie himself in.

Neil didn't have a place in that hierarchy yet. Hell, half the time he didn't even have a place in the saddle, since if he did ride it had to be with either Kevin or Andrew. No one explained to him why, but he was happy enough to just stay on the ground with Tenith and practice ground crew drills with her and the rest of the new riders. Kevin only let that go for a couple of days, though, before they got separated into wings of their own and went for specific lessons with their dragons. Neil tried not to feel too special, though, considering his teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last in the wing. 

He was an inexperienced newcomer to their mess and couldn't even fly yet, but that didn't make it easier to deal with. Dan tried her hardest to include him, checking on him anytime she was near him on the court, but she had her hands full managing the rest of her team and flying Lynth high enough to keep her wings from brushing the ground and kicking up dust. Allison didn't take Neil seriously, Matt was too far away to help, and Neil didn't want to deal with Renee. 

The cousins were keeping their distance this week, to Tenith's disappointment though their dragons didn't ignore her and even made time to compliment her and give her little tips and tricks when they could. It was confusing, but Neil refused to think too much about it right now.

That left Seth and Kevin. 

Kevin and Seth had to deal with Neil since he was on their line, meaning Kevin wanted him to fly at their altitude and within their specific set of coordinates during Threadfall, but Neil would rather they ignored him entirely. Nothing he did was right in their eyes. They tore him apart and kicked him aside as useless no matter how hard he tried. Neil hated their attitudes, but he was determined not to lose his temper in front of the team or Tenith again. 

Luckily the strikers (those who flew to meet Thread head-on as the very first striking force from Pern) were as willing to fight over him as they were with him, so he took what comfort he could in watching Seth and Kevin duke it out with their fists and steel soled boots. 

Wymack rarely interfered in the fighting. 

He let them brawl and then punished them with intense cardio off their dragons and excruciating drills on them. It seemed he'd long ago decided his team could only function by testing themselves against each other and establishing their own ranking. Neil thought it madness at first, but as the week progressed he could see the team finally figuring out the limits and alliances between them. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Neil was desperate for the weekend. 

The stress of worrying about Kevin and Riko, the irritation and exasperation over his teammates' behavior in the sky, and Kevin and Seth's unending, angry condescension were wearing him down. He couldn't deal with it any longer, but he couldn't escape from it, either. He spent all day with the Foxes at practice, then went back to the dorm and saw them all evening too. Neil was being suffocated by their very presence. 

All he wanted to do was vanish from campus for the weekend, and he had to force himself not to pack a bag each time he did, his eyes always landing on Tenith before his resolve broke. He had to find some breathing room before he cracked. 

He'd forgotten about Andrew's plans for him. 

When Neil left the shower after Friday's practice (which he was more than thankful he could postpone until everyone else was gone because Kevin still had him doing after practice practices with or without Andrew there), he expected everyone else to be gone. Neil walked to practices with the team, sharing the walk with Allison, Seth, and Renee who left around the same time as he and Matt did regardless of then Neil tried to wake up, but he always ran back to the dorm alone with Tenith afterwards once he realized she could dart alongside him easily. The others caught on within a couple days that Neil liked leaving after them, and none of them had asked him why. They didn't try to change his mind and stopped waiting on him after the second day. 

Maybe it was a Fox thing, knowing when there were boundaries they really shouldn't cross and questions they'd never get answers to. Neil wasn't sure, but he appreciated it. 

Friday was different, though. Neil lugged his dirty ridinguniform into the locker room and saw Nicky waiting on his bench with a black gift bag. Neil tried not to bristle at seeing someone else sitting on Tenith's name. 

"You survived your first week," Nicky said. "Did you have fun?" 

"Is it going to be like this all summer?" 

"Pretty much," Nicky said. "At least it's never boring, right?" 

Neil dropped his uniform in one of the laundry baskets, checked his cubby to make sure it was secure, and turned to find Nicky standing right at his back. Neil put a hand up to shove Nicky out of his space. Nicky was expecting it and pushed the black bag into Neil's open palm. The other green rider had been slowly getting more and more confident with him over the week, and Neil didn't want to have to remind him of Andrew but if he had to kill Nicky for trying him, it would be too late. 

"This is for you," Nicky said. "Andrew has seen the way you only wear the absolute blankets of the clothes Darbi gave you when you first came here said you don't have anything appropriate for where we're going. He told me what size to get you, and I picked it out. Trust me, it's awesome." 

Neil stared at him, thrown. "What?" 

"You didn't forget about our party, did you? Here." Nicky hooked the twine handle over Neil's fingers. Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a real gift and coming up blank. Even the things Darbi game him had been the most basic necessities- he had even double checked with Damien and apparently there was a stipend in the Weyr budget to supply for each weyrling. That his first real gift should be from Andrew was unsettling, and it took all his mental power not to let his thoughts leak out to Tenith, who had taken her chance to lazily drape at the foot of his cubby, half asleep and ignoring Nicky, as she was so apt to do. 

Nicky misinterpreted his discomfort as suspicion and laughed. "No catch. It's more for us than you, honestly. We can't be seen with you in public if you look like a raggedy holdless. No offense." He waited a beat before finally realizing something wasn't right. "Neil?" 

"Thank you," Neil said, but even he heard the uncertainty in it. Nicky studied him. Neil stared back, refusing to give anything else away. Finally Nicky tweaked Neil's hair and sent an unpleasant tingle over his scalp. "We'll pick you up at nine, all right? I suggest napping until then. We'll be out all night. We've got all the right contacts to keep the party going until dawn, and we've already arranged for Tenith to spend the night in the creche. Darbi knows some dragons get absolutely clingy when they're first born, which isn't too bad- until they scratch and kick and don't let their riders sleep through the night. She's safe as she can be with Darbi watching over her." 

Nicky grinned and gave Neil's hair another tug before his hand could be slapped away. "Speaking of, ditch it tonight. Your sightroot, I mean." 

Neil's stomach roiled. "Shut up." Nicky gave an exaggerated look around as if checking for eavesdroppers. "Look, it's not like they're a secret. We all saw your eyes before, right? And anyone who's paying close enough attention can see that you don't actually need it. You can make your way around just fine day or night and Andrew even said so. Even if it's for aesthetics? Brown? How boring can you be?" 

"I like brown." 

"Andrew doesn't," Nicky said. "Take them out." 

"No." 

"Please," Nicky said. "No one's going to see you but us, and we already know they're a lie. Don't wear them." 

"Or what?" Neil asked. 

Nicky's silence was answer enough. Neil was ready to brush that warning off like he had last time, but he caught himself. He was sure he could hold his ground against Andrew, but he wasn't facing Andrew alone. He was going out with Andrew's entire group half the state away from here. Nicky was honestly trying to help him get the night off on the right foot. Neil didn't think much of that consideration. He knew which side Nicky would take if things got ugly. 

"Nine," Nicky said again, when Neil didn't answer, and left. 

Neil gave him a few minutes' head start. When he was sure the cousins were long gone, he roused Tenith and jogged across the weyr to the library and killed a few hours scouring the newest scrolls and letters of news from around the world from the Harper Hall. He was impressed they were already considering starting a printing press, but also understood the desire to protect this world's natural resources as much as they could. After all, old earth had started destroying the trees for paper as a first step to mass industrialist, too. 

He picked up a small dinner on the way back to the apartment after he stopped by the farm and fed Tenith right from the carcass. His dorm room was empty when he got there and he was thankful he didn't have to encounter Matt or Seth before he started to get ready. He did dimly remembered Matt saying something about going to the movies with Dan. Neil didn't know where Seth was, but luckily he was still gone when it was time for Neil to take Tenith to the creche and come back to get ready. 

When was finally back at the Healer's Den (Neil's favorite place to take a bath since only patients used them and Abby was hardly there to tell him no) Neil checked the the room door as he always did before gathering his clothes. The bathing room didn't have a lock, which bothered him, but he would have to do- it was large enough to duck and hide or hurry and put on something to cover himself before anyone saw his secrets at least. 

He wasn't sure what to make of the final results of his bath when he realized he had on the last article of clothing, though. No matter how many times he and his mother changed their identities and languages, one thing stayed the same: they aimed for nondescript fashion that would blend in with an everyday crowd no matter the region or hold. Neil wore faded tunics and plain trousers and worn walking boots, generally in pale or faded colors that helped wash him out further. 

This outfit was the complete opposite, and every piece of it was black, just like the monsters had been on the day of hatching. 

The trousers were light and cut to accommodate a pair of heavy boots that were decidedly not riding boots but the fashionable heavy boots Lord Holder's sons wore when they liked to walk down cobblestone streets and show off how much money they had. The tunic was long-sleeved, tight, and fashioned to look like its seams were torn open in some places and stitched back together with golden silk. He knew that his skin wasn't actually showing through the too obvious stitches, but he ran his hands over the cloth a dozen times to make sure there weren't any open holes. He was sure he could feel his scars through the thin cloth. 

A thick leather belt came after that, but not the kind you strapped a knife to, and Neil felt a bit silly wearing a pair of matching black leather bracers but it completed the look he was going for, he supposed. He even pulled his hair half up with a bit of golden thread, making sure to use the western style of curling the hair into a small bun at the top of his head, keeping his bangs down and messy just like the back.

Neil's stomach churned a little with nerves when he finally looked into the mirror. He blinked a couple times, adjusting to seeing clearly with no aide and feeling the odd sensation of his eyes changing colors as the sightroot was nullified from the bath. A glance at the mirror almost took his breath away. His eyes were a chilly shade of blue that only looked brighter against his ink black hair and clothes, and were only getting lighter as the Sightroot's effects faded. He couldn't look at them for long; they were his father's eyes. 

Neil gathered his clothes and left the bathroom. As he hurried down the weyr hall and turned into his bedroom to drop his clothes off, he caught a glimpse of Andrew's group waiting in the common room. Andrew had picked his lock again. Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with. A curious question from Tenith asking if that meant she would have to fight Yardith too reminded him that distance didn't do much to weaken their connection and he reassured her that he would only kick Andrew a little bit if it came to blows. 

He put his laundry into the bottom drawer of his dresser, which he'd decided to use in lieu of a hamper, and turned to see Andrew in the doorway to the bedroom. Andrew lounged against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest, and studied Neil. Neil took the chance to look him over, too, noting first and foremost the lack of an expression on Andrew's face. 

Andrew was sober tonight. 

Neil wondered if Andrew understood the terms of his parole or just didn't care. Neil couldn't leave with Andrew in the way, so he stopped as close to Andrew as he dared and waited for Andrew to move. Andrew did, but only to reach out for Neil with one hand. Neil tensed as Andrew's fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, remembering the feeling from the hatching no matter how hard he was trying to forget, but Andrew didn't seem to care and still pulled Neil's head down. Neil focused on Andrew's cheekbone so as not to go cross-eyed and let Andrew study his eyes. 

"Another bit of unexpected honesty," Andrew said. "Any particular reason why you could do it this time and not at the hatching?" 

"Nicky asked nicely. You might try it sometime." 

"We already talked about this. I don't ask." Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over, making Neil forcefully clamp down on his thoughts to Tenith, and let go. Neil tried not to miss the warmth of his hands st the back of his neck. "We're going." 

Nicky perked up as the two stepped into the living room, but his happy expression faltered when he got a look at Neil. "Oh, man. Neil, you clean up good. Can I say that, or is that against the rules? Just—damn. Aaron, don't let me get too drunk tonight." Neil frowned over at him, glad he was exercising his control over his feisty little green. She would have probably tried to run and catch them before they could leave just so that she could bite him.

Andrew stopped by Nicky long enough to pull a long pipe out of his belt pocket, and Neil wondered if maybe he should have packed his own. He lit a single bolus and put his lighter in Nicky's face. "Don't make me kill you," Andrew said. 

Nicky held up his hands in self-defense. "I know." 

"Do you?" 

"Promise," Nicky said weakly. 

Andrew put his lighter away and left the room, leaving Neil to wonder if maybe he should really just go ahead and try to teach Nicky a physical lesson next time he tried something. The idea was aborted as soon as Neil remembered that he could so easily lose control and Nicky was still one of Andrew's. Neil didn't want to accidentally kill him and have to answer to Andrew. Kevin and Aaron followed Andrew out of the door then and Nicky raked Neil with a last appreciative look that made him seriously consider the risk of murder again, Weyr laws and Andrew be damned, and went out to the hall. He waited with Neil while Neil locked the door. They trailed the others downstairs to the waiting dragons in silence. 

Only Yardith and K'holinth were there waiting on them, and Neil ended up in the same spot as last time, stuck in front of Andrew with the cushion between them. Neil expected trouble, but the blond just leaned forward against Neil's back after strapping himself in and dozed off within minutes of leaving the weyr. Neil couldn't sleep in such company, especially when he realized that Andrew being asleep meant Yardith was just flying however he saw fit. He knew that dragons could fly by themselves, and even travel Between alone, but Yardith was whimsical at best and murderous at worst, and they were just casually flying over the huge expanse of ocean between Palmetto and the mainland as if nothing at all could go wrong. 

He spent the hour wondering just how many things could go wrong tonight. It was an extensive list. 

When the dragons luminous eyes first started catching sight of the many smaller islands closer to the mainland and let them know they were close, Nicky motioned over his shoulder at Neil from his seat at the back of the saddle. "Wake Andrew up, will you? Preferably without touching him." 

"What?" Aaron asked sleepily, rousing at Nicky's voice, and Neil realized he had also fallen asleep, though he had done so leaned back against Kevin, who casually held him as if this was something they did all the time. "K'holinth?" 

The bronze dragon only rumbled a bit, and Yardith sighed beneath Neil. -- Green Neil, wake my Andrew. We are nearly there and they do not trust me to land alone, though I fly this way each time we come to the mainland. Andrew cannot land me, but I also do not want him to get sick on me. My hide is so bright tonight.-- Yardith seemed amused, but Neil wondered what he was talking about- what he could mean. Andrew couldn't land Yardith? They flew like this all the time? Did that mean that every day at practice when Yardith just did as he pleased, it wasn't because Andrew didn't feel like it- but because he couldn't thanks to his medicine? 

Carefully, Neil half twisted, aware of how Andre was leaning against his back, head resting on his shoulder. "Andrew…" he tried. He carefully shrugged in an attempt to wake him next. Then rocked back. Finally, he sighed and reached back, brushing his fingers under Andrews helmet and touching his cheek.

Andrew's reaction was immediate and violent. Neil got his hand out of the way in time, but there was nowhere to go. Andrew's fist slammed into his back hard enough to double Neil up over the saddle, then his hand whipped around to wrap around Neil's neck and squeeze on a vice grip. 

Aaron, completely unsympathetic as he looked his head back against Kevin's shoulder, snapped his fingers between them at Andrew. "Almost there," he said. 

Andrew absently let go of Neil's neck and braced himself against Neil's back and leveraged himself into a standing position, feet still locked in place. He watched until they passed another island and said, "Not yet. We still have a few more islands to go." 

"This is the West coast," Nicky said. "There are a thousand islands still to go. Still breathing, Neil?" 

"Yes," Neil said hoarsely. "I think." 

Andrew dropped back into his seat and let go of Neil. Neil managed to sit up, but he couldn't help pressing a hand to his throat. It felt like Andrew's fingers had tries to rip his trachea right out of his neck. He flicked a look at Aaron, who shrugged at his silent accusation, and then at Andrew. Andrew didn't return it, too distracted by his hands as he leaned back in the saddle. He had them up in front of him, but it wasn't until they hit another air pocket and one of the two moons lazily drifted from behind a cloud that Neil realized what he was looking at. In the flash of light filtering down on them Neil saw Andrew's fingers were trembling. 

"Kevin," Andrew said. Kevin glanced back. He couldn't see tremors in the darkness, but he saw where Andrew was looking. K'holinth swept across the sky towards the mainland. "We're almost there." 

"Yardith needs to land." 

"We're still on the beaches." Nicky protested

"Now." Nicky didn't argue again. 

Kevin pulled K'holinth off onto the almost nonexistent beach, and Yardith banked so hard Neil expected him to visit all and throw him off. Andrew shoved his feet out of the stirrups, leaned out over the side of his dragon as far as he could using Yardith's forever as a railing, and dry-heaved into the weeds alongside the nearest sand dune. Neil was still sitting close enough to him to feel the way Andrew's entire body shook with the effort. It sounded like Andrew was tearing his esophagus to shreds, and he sympathized as he rubbed his own neck again. 

"Where are your crackers?" Nicky asked when Andrew was left gasping for breath. 

"He took them earlier," Kevin said. 

"All of them?" Nicky asked, horrified. "Jesus, Andrew." 

"Shut up," Andrew said, and spat a couple times. He reached blindly for the saddle, found it on the third try, and pulled himself back upright to lock his feet in place once more. "Just get us there." 

Kevin had K'holinth fly as fast as he could, but once they entered the outskirts of Columbia Hold, flying higher above the clouds to go undetected slowed them down. 

Their first destination was a restaurant called Sweetie's. They landed their dragons a ways away from the hold and told them to go and have fun- they would ride a wagon to the party to arrive like every one else so they wouldn't be pointed out as dragon men. It was too late for dinner, the headwoman told them, but the place was packed anyway. There were four groups ahead of them waiting in the neatly decorated lounge for seats. 

Andrew detoured to one of the long tables set up to the side of the dining room with fruits, salads, and all their accessories and grabbed two handfuls of neatly paper wrapped crackers from a bucket on the end. Kevin watched as Andrew methodically ate his way through them. Andrew answered with a baleful look. He finished his snack before Neil could think of a reason to ask what the hell was going on. A few minutes later they were finally seated at a booth in the back. 

Before the host could leave Andrew stuffed his empty cracker packets into the man's apron. The host didn't even bat an eye at such rudeness but left them with their menus. Their waitress wasn't far behind him, and Nicky handed the menus back unread. "We're just here for the ice cream special," Nicky said. 

"No problem," she said. "I'll get that right to you." Nicky's smile disappeared the second she left and he turned a concerned look on Andrew. 

Andrew sat cradling his face in one hand. The other hand was flat on the table in front of him, and his shaking was more pronounced now. A shudder passed through Andrew's frame. Andrew sucked in a long breath through clenched teeth. Kevin pulled a glass vial of pills out of his pocket and set them on the table, halfway between himself and Andrew. "Just take it." 

Andrew went perfectly still as he stared at the bottle. "Fuck you." 

Neil finally understood. "You're going through withdrawal." 

Andrew ignored him. "Put that away before I shove it down your throat." 

Kevin frowned but did as he was told. It didn't take long for their ice cream to arrive. Their waitress passed out bowls and set a pile of napkins in the middle of the table. As soon as she left, Andrew scattered the napkins with an impatient hand. Underneath them all was a pile of packets similar to the crackers full of pale yellow powder. 

"We're in public," Aaron said. Andrew ignored him in favor of ripping open two bags and upending them into his mouth. 

Nicky nudged Neil. "Try the ice cream. You'll love it." Neil obediently dipped into the mound he'd been served, but he didn't let Nicky or the food distract him from Andrew. No matter how much of a delicacy ice cream still was on Pern, it was still just super cold food no matter how you looked at it.

Andrew collected the rest of the packets and hid them in one of his tunic pockets. Moving was a mistake, judging by the tight look on his face. Andrew pressed the side of his hand hard against his mouth and swallowed so hard Neil heard it across the table. It took Andrew another minute before he relaxed enough to start eating. Whatever he'd taken must have dulled the edge of his withdrawal, because he was back to a calm façade by the time he finished eating. 

When the bill arrived, Andrew pushed it Aaron's way, and Aaron left a small stack of Harper marks on top of the check. Neil looked back as they left, seeing first the people taking cracker packets from the salad bar and second the waitress pocketing the money they'd left her. 

It was a short wagon drive from the restaurant to their real destination of the night. Eden's Twilight was a two-story brick nightclub a couple clicks from the main road. There was a line of people waiting to get in, and the clothes they wore made Neil's outfit look plain. Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains. Neither the line nor the fashion deterred the cousins. 

Nicky pulled up the curb by the door and let them out. The pair of guards at the entrance perked up at their arrival, and Aaron greeted them with a complicated fist bump and handshake Neil didn't try to understand. One of the guards dug an orange tag out of his back pocket and handed it over, and Aaron brought it to Nicky, who had been driving the horses. Nicky attached it to the reigns and drove away to tack the horses somewhere. Andrew saluted the guards on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely. Kevin followed, and Aaron motioned for Neil to go ahead of him. A second set of doors opened into a madhouse. 

The four were standing on a dais that wrapped around the floor and was crowded with tables. Stairs led down to a packed dance floor. Somewhere stairs led up to the second floor, which was more a balcony than anything else. The young Harper set that was playing now were off the floor on a platform of their own, positioned halfway between floors. Huge amplifiers taller than Neil lined the walls, and Neil could feel the bass crunching against his bones. The technology was thought to have been lost, but Neil wasn't surprised that rowdy and rebellious Harper youths had rediscovered it. 

Neil stopped staring so he wouldn't fall behind and followed Kevin around the room. It took a bit of searching before they found a table. It was covered with glasses, but the stools were abandoned, so they claimed it. Andrew cleared away the cups while Aaron hunted down two more chairs. As soon as they were set, Andrew snagged his fingers in Neil's collar and pulled Neil after him toward the bar. It was a demeaning way to be led around and Neil wanted to say that he could follow just fine if Andrew let go, but he was sure Andrew wouldn't be able to hear him over the music, and when he accidentally caught the eye of one tall young man who smirked and gave him a slow once over as he passed, Neil kept his mouth shut. Better Andrew than that man. 

Three bartenders were on staff, but Andrew was interested in a specific one and willing to wait for him. When the man finally made it to them, he flashed Andrew an easy smile. "Back so soon, Andrew? Who's your newest victim?" 

"A nobody," Andrew said. "It's the usual for us." The man nodded and looked at Neil. 

"And for you?" 

"I don't drink," Neil said. 

"Soda, then," the man said, and pushed away to put their order together. He returned with a tray of drinks. Andrew wielded it with an easy expertise that made Neil wonder if he'd ever worked here before. When the bartender slid Neil his glass of soda last, Andrew led the way back through the crowd, pushing drunks out of his way with his free hand. Nicky was waiting for them at the table and leaned out of the way for Andrew to put the tray down past him. 

"Cheers," Nicky yelled, and they drank as one. 

Neil went through his soda quicker than he meant to, and though he couldn't place the nutty flavor of it, it tasted good. The others were drinking at an unhealthy speed and Nicky prodded at Neil to keep up. The soda made him feel dehydrated and the caffeine went to his head faster than he expected. He'd mostly given up soda when he tried out for the Millport Dingos last year, so he wasn't used to it anymore, or the way it slowly sped up his heart. 

When he got up to help Andrew get the second round of drinks, he thought about switching to water, but the bartender poured his soda before he could ask. Andrew's packets from Sweetie's reappeared as soon as they made it back to the table, and Neil wondered how they could do drugs like that when they knew their dragons would be affected by it. 

We are not affected, if we don't want to be. That only holds true for younger dragons, who still rely heavily on their riders for anchoring-- Yardith drilled lazily in the back of Neil's mind. Andrew waggled one at Neil in taunting invitation. When Neil just looked at him, Andrew smirked and passed them out to the others instead. Even Kevin took one, which Neil found disappointing for some reason. 

Tenith sleeps. Don't worry-- Yardith laughed, but Neil already knew that. Her presence in the back of his mind had been slowly fading ever since he entered the club and he figured that after a full evening of playing with the children in the creche, it must have been time to settle down and sleep for them, so Tenith would be obliged to nap as well. 

"Cracker dust," Nicky said as he ripped his packet open. "Heard of it? Tastes like sugar and salt and gives you a small rush. Sure you don't want in?" 

"Drugs are stupid." 

"Ouch," Andrew said with a cold smile. "That's judgmental." 

"I'm not going to apologize for thinking you're being idiotic. Don't you care if your dragons get high? What's going to happen when Yardith starts hallucinating or whatever that stuff does?" 

"Is your spine the spine of the righteous?" Andrew wondered. "Are you trying your best to step on my toes because you're feeling the tragic weight of the holier than thou?" 

"Righteousness is for people who don't know any better." 

"Easy, easy," Nicky said, distributing shots around the table. The bartender had put a bit of soda in a shot glass for Neil for this round, and Nicky set it down in front of Neil. "Dust isn't bad. It just makes the night more interesting. You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" 

"What future?" Neil asked. Kevin shot Neil a black look, but Nicky intervened before he could say anything. 

"Drink with us if you won't dust with us," Nicky said, holding his open packet in one hand and his shot in the other. "Down the hatch on three." 

Arguing would be fruitless when the four had left their common sense at the door, so Neil picked up his glass in silence. Nicky counted them off, and Neil knocked his shot back. As soon as it hit the back of his throat, Neil knew he'd made a serious mistake. His sodas had tasted sweet and with a sort of nutty aftertaste, but this shot was almost unbearably so, and the aftertaste on Neil's tongue wasn't earthy at all. 

Neil lurched to his feet, but Andrew grabbed him by his hair and slammed him back into his seat. A cruel twist pulled his head back at a dangerous angle, and Andrew slammed Neil's hand flat against the tabletop. Neil lifted his other hand to pry Andrew's fingers off, but Nicky caught his wrist. 

"Just noticed, did you?" Andrew asked. "You're an idiot." 

"Y-you—" Neil sputtered. 

"Did you think you were safe because you were up there ordering your own drinks? Roland knows what it means when I bring outsiders here." Neil wrenched his hand out from under Andrew's, but Andrew gave his head a warning yank. A bolt of heat went down Neil's neck. Neil hissed in pain and went still. "You see, even if your dragon is young. That doesn't mean you can't have a little fun. Have you ever heard of Dragon's Bane? Of course not. It's a better kept secret than the answer to the Question Song. Let me tell you: it's a sweet nut that you can crush into powder and put in any drink. Basically, it weakens your connection with your dragon. To them, it feels like you're just deep asleep and whatever you're experiencing is a dream, so they don't worry and can ignore it easily. To you, though, that's just how it starts out. Did you know that if you ass Dust to it, it speeds the effects drastically, until to you, it feels just like you never even Impressed to begin with. Only, I imagine it's a lot worse, cause, you know, you actually have. Add that onto the dust, and I wouldn't wanna be you for the night," Andrew grinned.

He slid out of his chair and leaned against Neil, letting Neil take his weight while he checked Neil's eyes. "Almost there," he said. "Give it a minute and then it'll really hit. Until then, why don't you go have a little fun while the dust gets going? The night is still young." 

Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over. The world spun in a sickening rush even after Neil hit the ground, but he couldn't stop himself for mentally reaching for Tenith. It still felt like she was just sleeping, though he knew it was getting fainter. 

When Aaron tried to pull Neil to his feet, Neil swung at him and missed. Neil could feel the drugs eating through his system. His heart pounded harder than the bass did, shaking him apart from the inside out, the feeling getting even worse with each moment that passed and it felt like Tenith got farther and farther away. It took both Nicky and Aaron to get Neil up from the floor where he was scrambling for purchase. They hauled him away from the table, disregarding his struggles and flailing limbs. 

Neil stumbled more than once, unable to feel the ground under his feet. He tried pulling out of Aaron's grip, but he didn't succeed until they'd reached the stairs down to the dance floor, and at that point, he could hardly even feel Tenith at all. No matter how hard he thought to her, she wouldn't respond! He even tried to call for her out loud, though he knew it would do no good

Then Aaron let go without warning. 

Neil tripped down the stairs with only Nicky to break his fall. Nicky looped an arm around his waist and dragged him deeper into the writhing throng. Bodies and lights blurred around him, making Neil nauseous. He clawed bloody lines down Nicky's arm as he fought to get free, despair and panic both gripping his insides as he struggled to contact his dragon. He couldn't feel her anymore, though, and Neil knew he was screaming at the top of his lungs. An emptiness worse than his absolute low after his mother died making his whole body numb just as fast as the drugs tried to rile him up. 

Nicky didn't let go until they'd reached the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Neil up against him and caught Neil's chin in his fingers to force his head back. Neil didn't know when it started, his lips were so numb, but when he did finally feel the kiss, it was harder than Neil expected it to be, and there was more than just tongue in it. Beneath the burn of vodka Nicky shared with him was the sweet tang of more cracker dust. Neil didn't mean to swallow, but it hurt too much to hold it in his mouth the longer the drugs latched onto the sensation and made him hyperfocus on it through his emotional void. 

"This is how the game goes," Nicky said against his lips. "Stop fighting if you want to survive." 

"Fuck you," Neil snarled through his tears, vowing that when he got back the first thing he would do was stab Nicky for each time Tenith told him how much of an asshole he was. Regardless of how good his dragon was or what he must have been like at his core for Hemmi to do good, this was crossing the line. 

"Good luck, Neil." Nicky let go and vanished into the throng of dancers too fast for Neil to follow and choke him with his bare hands. The sudden loss of support made him fall, and brought back the rush of emptiness too fast for Neil to steady himself against it in time. He couldn't feel his legs or his heart. It took serious work to get into a crouch, made even harder by the desire to just curl up on the ground and cry until he couldn't even feel THAT anymore, and a couple strangers had to help him up from there. 

Neil used the momentum to stumble away, but he didn't know which way he was supposed to be going. He couldn't feel which way Tenith was!! He didn't even know if she was even still out there or had gone Between without him! 

He realized with a few steadying blinks that he also couldn't see the exit through all these people, especially with the lights flashing all around him. It was like Andrew had single handedly taken away every little bit of hope he had ever had! He didn't know how he was going to make it! A hand came up against the small of his back and shoved. The push got him free of the crowd and sent him crashing into the back wall. Andrew propped his shoulder against the dark paint just out of arm's reach. Neil wanted to rip his throat open, but it was taking everything he had to just stay standing and not scream again. He settled for channeling his hatred into a fierce look. 

"Such ingratitude," Andrew said. "Those drinks were expensive." 

"I hate you." 

"Take a number and get in line with the rest of this team. I won't lose any sleep over it." 

"Don't sleep. I'll kill you." 

"Will you?" Andrew asked. "Will you do it yourself, or will you have your precious baby dragon gum me until I expire? Oh wait- you don't HAVE a dragon anymore, do you? Gave that little slice of happiness up for a life on the run… or you will. That's what she says, you know."

"Tenith doesn't talk to you."

"Really," Andrew drawled. "It's like everything you ever hear goes in one ear and out the other. It's not that dragons CAN'T talk to other people besides their riders. It's that they don't WANT to. The fact that they always want to talk to you and you can hear them openly even when they're not talking to you specifically is what makes you special. But Tenith can talk to me just fine. In fact, she often talks to me and Yardith. She happens to like us very much. So much so that she tells us at least once a day that she's going to miss us when she has to leave and go Between forever to protect you just like that precious fire-lizard you never name, even to her."

Neil felt his blood run cold suddenly, only to rush back so boiling hot, he could feel it in his ears. 

"The team is split, you know. Most of them think you're just nervous to make a connection with us because you're just a little dragonling. Renee knows better. So do I. I think you're something a little more like us." Andrew leaned toward him and enunciated every syllable. "Runaway." 

If Neil was sober, he'd be better steeled to hear that word. With cracker dust and Dragon's Bane in his system and angry music drumming his skin to bits, he couldn't hide his second flinch. "Mind your own business." 

"Tonight is Mind Neil's Business Night," Andrew said. "Didn't you notice? Give me some proof you're willing to do what it takes to protect that little girl or I won't let you stay here." 

"This isn't your wing. It isn't your say." 

"Don't tempt me to prove you wrong. I told you that you have an option, and you do. You always will. You can stay and keep on our wing- you can stay and go train with the other new riders- hell, you can even go ahead and leave the Weyr for all I care at this moment, but think real long and hard about how you feel right now. If I gave you a knife you would happily plunge it into your own pathetically beating heart just to stop the pain. THAT is how Tenith is going to feel when she realizes you're dead, because you are too much of a fool to let her die first and spare her even the tiniest bit of mercy, you coward. If you don't want to stay here, that's fine, but know that THIS is what's waiting for her out there. Half trained or Thread ready, she will never survive with just you to protect her and her death will be ten times more painful than even you could ever imagine. Her's. Not yours- you were already a dead man walking. But her? Is it worth it to send her to this fate for sure?" 

"That's not how it would happen," Neil struggled to deny. "I would wait till she could go Between. I wouldn't put her in danger. I would never hurt her."

"You're hurting her now," Andrew said. "You can't really be stupid enough to think you're so good at guarding your thoughts that your own dragon can feel what's in your heart, can you?" 

"Shut up," Neil said. "Why can't you leave me alone?" 

"Because I don't trust the look in your eyes when you look down at her," Andrew said. "The Ravens are in our district and you are on my wing, but the only thing in your mind when you look at her is your own death. You, a lie from head to foot, with a dragon who loves you so much that all she can think about is how proud you will be of her when she dives in front of an arrow to give you even one more second of life. Do you understand?" 

Neil did, but he was as baffled as he was furious. "I'm not going to get her killed like that. Are you kidding me?" 

"Prove it," Andrew said. "You take a minute to think it over. Think how badly you want to try my patience with your half assed lies right now. I'll be back." Andrew pushed away from the wall and slipped into the crowd. Neil watched him go, then swayed as the unbearable emptiness sent a hard shudder through his veins once more and he had no choice but to brace himself against the wall for a moment before he started down the length of it. He didn't know which way led to the door, but if he could at least find a stairwell off the dance floor he could figure something out- some way back to Tenith. His survival was contingent on him getting out of this club while he still had some of his wits about him between the heavy waves of emptiness that truly did leave him with absolutely no desire to live. 

He finally spotted the stairs through a gap between bodies a moment after he was forced to grit his teeth to muffle a heart wrenching cry of pain that cut so deep he was shocked he wasn't actually stabbed through the heart when he looked down. He started up as soon as he was able, only to be stopped as Nicky came down them. Nicky took his shoulders to push him back into the crowd, ignoring the way Neil shoved and pushed to break free. This kiss tasted worse, and Neil went numb from his mouth down. 

The rest of the night was shattered colors and lights that were too bright one moment and so dark the next, he felt like he might as well let them swallow him whole.

\-----

Neil woke up in a bed he didn't recognize in an equally unfamiliar room. 

He knew that disorienting feeling by name after moving so often, so it wasn't cause for immediate alarm. The weight of arms around him was one his body knew, but somehow it was confusing. There was something wrong with it that his hazy mind wasn't ready to process and he blinked hard against the headache pounding at his skull. He felt half-dead, though he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. 

His first attempt at moving sent a stab of pain down his spine, so he relaxed against the sheets. The hold on him tightened a little in response to his shifting. 

"Mother?" he said, swallowing hard as he tried to force his eyes open. Another moment later he tried again. "Tenith…?", but it came out slurred at best and barely intelligible. 

The person behind him still understood, judging by the amused, "Not quite." 

Neil knew that voice. Suddenly the events of the previous night slammed awake in his mind, flickering glow basket lights and music and bodies and Andrew's voice at his ear and a loneliness so deep inside it seemed to shatter him to the very core. He bolted upright but didn't make it far. The resulting pain had him collapsing against the mattress once more. 

Nicky caught at his hair to push his head off the side of the bed. There was a small trash can there that Neil barely registered before he was throwing up into it. Nicky murmured reassurances Neil couldn't really hear. As soon as Neil could breathe again, he twisted and shoved at Nicky as hard as he could, determined not to be taken advantage of. He was too sick and weak to push Nicky off the other side of the bed, but the boots he was still wearing would leave bruises on Nicky's arms and chest. He aimed for Nicky's face just in case he tried to cover up the others and lie about it, but his legs weren't long enough. 

"Hey, hey," Nicky said, trying to deflect him. "It's fine. Ouch! Relax, will you?" 

"Don't you fucking touch me," Neil said savagely. The fact that Nicky was in bed with him only left so many possibilities and Neil was going to make it a hell of a lot harder than he thought it would be if the worst of them was what was in Nicky's mind.

The older green rider retreated from Neil and sat on the edge of the bed instead, but that didn't mean anything to Neil. Not after last night. Neil struggled to get up, using the headboard and nightstand as support. Standing took so much out of him he had to stop and catch his breath once he made it there. Tentatively, he tried to reach for Tenith with his mind, but he was still too disoriented to properly focus. 

At least he didn't feel like she WASN'T there. That was the only good thing.

"He's awake?" someone asked from the door. Neil snatched the nearest thing he could find up and hurled it at the new arrival, who ducked out of the way just in time. It crashed off the doorframe and Neil heard a ceramic crashing sound. A cup? A vase? Aaron waited until it had fallen to the floor before stepping back into the doorway. Neil meant to look for another weapon, but moving so fast turned his stomach inside out. He grabbed at the trash can again and choked so hard he almost fell over. 

"Where's Andrew?" Nicky asked, climbing off the bed and coming around to Neil's side. 

"He and Kevin went to get us brunch." 

"I don't think Neil can eat anything." 

"He can watch." 

Nicky laid a careful hand on Neil's shoulder, but it only made him more nauseous. "Come on. I'll get you some water." 

Neil shook him off, but his legs didn't want to carry him. Nicky let him try standing twice before looping an arm around Neil's back and steadying him. "Easy, now. I'm just going to help you to the kitchen, okay? No funny stuff, I promise." 

"Like I trust you." 

"Like you've got a choice," Aaron said, and left ahead of them. 

Nicky helped Neil down the hall to the kitchen and set him up at the table with a glass of water. Neil's throat burned, but he refused to drink it. He settled for glaring at Nicky. Nicky looked to Aaron for help. Aaron stared back over the top of his coffee mug, unsympathetic and unhelpful. Again, Neil remembered the manic sing song of Ardanth's voice in his mind and knew he was just as bad as Andrew. 

Nicky sighed and turned to Neil again. "Can I check on your head, or are you going to bite me if I touch you?" 

"What did I say last night?" Neil asked. 

"Nothing to me besides an admirably creative death threat." Nicky's mouth quirked in the start of a smile but he suppressed it, maybe understanding Neil would punch him for it. "I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy something handsome to knock you out. Way to cut our night short." Neil didn't remember that, and the gaps in his memory left him cold all over. 

"Drink up," Nicky said. "You'll need all the water you can get today. Crackers'll dehydrate you like no one's business, and the Dragon's Bane will give you shivers so hard you'll be sore for a week after." Neil had noticed the constant shaking, but answered by upending his glass onto the floor. 

"That's mature," Aaron said. Neil threw the glass at him. Aaron smacked it away and let it shatter on the ground. 

Nicky sighed. "Don't say I didn't warn you. You can have the shower first, okay? By the time you're out Andrew will be back and you can ask him about last night." It didn't make Neil feel any better that neither of them seemed to know the obvious threat Andrew had left him with, but he couldn't really blame the idiot Nicky. Andrew just might not care, though. 

Nicky guided Neil to the bathroom. He started to say something else, but Neil shut the door in his face and locked it. Just how many locks, indeed. Neil took advantage of the privacy to seethe, giving himself a full thirty seconds to silently rage over last night's stupidity. Then he balled it up and shoved it deep. Anger wasn't going to help him right now, and it wouldn't erase the sense of emptiness left over from last night. 

Neil checked his head in the mirror and found a sizeable lump near his left ear. He felt it out with trembling but careful fingers, then drank handfuls of water from the sink. When the buzzing in his head died a little and his throat wasn't burning quite so bad he took stock of the room. There was a pile of new clothes on the closed toilet lid. The shower was stocked, and a clean towel hung from a hook on the back of the door. A window between the mirror and the shower had white translucent glass to block the outside world and a deep set window, meaning the whole town was likely proofed for the coming Threadfall. 

Right now, the window was the only thing that really mattered. Nicky wanted Neil to wait for Andrew, but Neil couldn't stick around that long. There was no way he was getting dragonback with them- with HIM- for the long flight back to Palmetto. He had to get back to Tenith and make sure she was alright. In one of his deep trouser pockets was a small vial of Sightroot he had intended for the ride back anyway, but now he carefully applied it as best he could with the tiny applicator brush and waited for his eyes to shift back to that ugly brown Andrew hated so much, then changed out of his party clothes and into the new trousers and tunic. The outfit was almost a perfect fit. 

Remembering how he had felt so damn happy receiving the gift bag last night only ignited his anger further. Neil stuffed his discarded party clothes into the toilet, shoving them as deep into the water as he could without getting his fingertips wet and closing the lid on them. He cut on the water as high as he could, noting thst there was no shower proof curtain here, but a single drain in the center of the floor that caught the runoff instead. 

The sound of the water was almost enough to hide the sound of Neil opening the window. Getting out took some serious wiggling since it wasn't quite big enough for him and the ledge was just deep enough to be awkward, but desperation was a valuable lubricant. Lingering sickness from the drugs kept him from moving as quickly as he wanted to, but he'd traveled in far worse shape and he refused to give up. Not if it meant getting back to Tenith. 

He cut through the town streets without knowing where he was going and riddled through his pockets to see if he had anything suddenly appear in them. By the time he could see the docs, he could feel Tenith sleeping- dreaming- contentedly and was significantly relaxed, even if his shaking didn't stop. Following the well worn runner beast paths out of the town brought him out onto the docs at last. There was an old but well kept dragonnet messaging station at the edge of the path just before the first boat and Neil breathed a sigh of relief when there was someone there to lend him one of the flighty little things if he was willing to catch them a pail of spider legs down by the shore. It took him a while, but he was delighted to find a little cove where the scuttling little things were dancing from side to side without a care in the world. He filled his pain and hurried back, giving his goods and receiving a little blue dragonnet for his troubles. Carefully, he scribbled a short message saying that he had gone to Columbia Hold with the monsters but that he was fine and on his way back, if he could go and get Tenith from the creche and keep her with them until he got back. When Matt agreed but sent back more questions, Neil ignored them in favor of going back down to the secret crab cove. He collected as many as he could, gathering them with a spare length of twine he had found unattended along the way, then made his way back up to the docs. He was lucky there was someone willing to sail there,but it took him three tries to get someone take him to the misty island, but the kind woman relented easily enough since it was such a sunny day and apparently the wind was blowing in the right direction to allow them easy sailing and a clear entrance. 

Neil huddled himself down below deck sitting sea sickness, and tried his best to guard his thoughts against Tenith, though he was terrified now that that just wasn't enough. Still, now too much made sense to him. Matt's reaction to Neil's whereabouts was telling. Matt had been through this already; he knew what sorts of things Andrew got up to in Columbia. This was what Matt meant when he said Andrew put him in his place last year. This was what Andrew and Abby had argued about on Neil's first day. Apparently it took the Weyr's HarperHealer to patch Matt up after Andrew was through with him. Either Andrew listened to Abby's warning and toned Neil's party back, or Neil avoided the worst of it by getting himself knocked out… though he wasn't too sure. Losing touch with his dragon has left him nearly begging for death. So much so that he had promised someone something he couldn't remember to attack him until he couldn't feel anything anymore. 

When he felt the boat gently bump against the dock and come to a full stop, Neil thanked her more than was strictly necessary and gave her the biggest smile he could as he climbed out onto the dock. It was a little after noon by then. The queasiness had faded, but his head still ached and his whole body still shook. Neil took the rest of the way to the Weyr on foot, stopping at every tavern or bar for a cup of water as he went. It would take him a few hours to get back, but he was fine walking, now that he could feel Tenith was awake and could tell she was happily eating whatever Lynth and Marthe brought for her. 

Without the sailor to distract him Neil could use the walk to think, anyway. The only clear memory he had of last night was Andrew's accusation. He didn't know what else Andrew had asked him or what he'd said in response. Hopefully he'd been smart enough to keep himself from giving that maniac his life again despite the drugs. It wasn’t like anything verbal would make a contract for sure but Neil knew Andrew was so infuriatingly RIGHT and the Dragon's Bane left him feeling so damned empty, Neil was afraid he would have agreed to anything just to make it stop.

One thing was for sure, though. Neil couldn't afford another night out like that. If Andrew really thought Neil was a threat to Tenith, how far would he go to keep that threat from affecting the rest of those things he thought was his? Would he really somehow rationalize taking Tenith for good- killing her?! - and kick Neil out of the Weyr and off of Palmetto because he was lo longer a dragon man?! 

Neil didn't want to see what came next, but avoiding that meant compromising. He had to give Andrew something that would let him stay. Neil spent the entirety of the three-hour walk sorting out a perfect compromise for him to keep his sanity and Tenith all in one place. The trust part was going to be huge but Neil knew he couldn't keep thinking about his life like this if he wanred to keep Tenith healthy and fly. As much as Neil hated it, he had to give something up in order to stay, and if he wanted to keep Tenith that something had to be trust and control. 

It was terrifying, if he was honest. 

Neil knew he could walk away. Knew he could sever his ties and keep living. Keep struggling as nothing more than an empty husk… but his tenuous half hold on a future he could only fully have if he was totally invested in it was not going to work. It WAS hurting Tenith, just like Andrew said, and Neil knew more than anyone else that if he tried to run, even after Tenith was old enough to fly Between, things would end up just like they had before. He would be dead, just like he knew he was going to end up before- how he could still end up now- and she would have spent her whole life thinking she was nothing more to him than a burden he never wanted, and that her greatest gift to him was dying to spare his pathetic life. 

He didn't want that. 

As terrified as he was, the pain he had experienced the night before had only solidified his own desires to never, ever let her feel like that so long as he could help it. 

Neil wasn't quite ready to face Andrew yet and while he was eager to see Tenith with his own eyes and make sure she was alright, he didn't want to deal with his teammates' curiosity over his prolonged absence, so he went to Wymack's apartment instead. By the time he arrived it was half past four. Wymack had made Neil keep the spare key, but Neil knocked on his door anyway. Wymack wrenched the door open like he wanted to take it off his hinges, but surprise washed out the fury on his face when he saw Neil. 

"Where the hell have you been?" The Weyrleader demanded, looking Neil up and down. "Andrew got back from Columbia hold hours ago. Matt called me to say you weren't with them." 

"I took a different route." 

"Yeah?" Wymack gestured at his drenched clothes and sweaty skin. "What'd you do, run here?" 

"Walked," Neil said, and Wymack stared at him. Neil realized too late Wymack was being sarcastic. He couldn't take it back, so Neil traced his path in the air with a finger. "I caught a boat down to the docs, and I walked here from there. I know it's kind of sudden, but can I stay here for a little while?" 

Wymack grabbed his elbow- just as Neil suspected he would, though the flinch still came- and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil, causing him to jump again. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?" 

"I was thinking I wasn't going to ride back with them," Neil said. 

"You should have called for me," Wymack said. "Me or Dan or any of the others in your wing. All you had to say was you didn't want to stay with Andrew. Any of us would have come and gotten you- flown Between and picked you up faster than you could twiddle a tune." 

Neil stared at him, too startled to respond. 

Wymack threw his free hand up in exaggerated disgust and dragged Neil down the hall to the kitchen. "Stretch out and drink some water," he said, letting go of Neil. Neil did as he was told but watched as Wymack stormed out of the kitchen again. Wymack paced up and down the hall with angry, heavy footsteps. On his second pass he had his fire-lizard held up to eye level and Neil knew he was sending a message. He was out of sight when someone responded and the thing came flickering back, but Neil heard his furious voice loud and clear as he sent his own response. "You tell that little fuck face he has five seconds to get his retarded psycho ass to my apartment! If he even thinks about telling me no and I swear to god I'll throw Kevin's contract down a garbage disposal." 

Neil didn't think Wymack waited too long for a response back, because he was alone when he came back a couple seconds later. He was carrying a towel and an armful of clothes, all of which he shoved at Neil. "You're a sopping mess. Get out of my sight and clean up before I wring your neck." 

Neil took everything down the hall to the wash room and locked himself in. He kept the water tepid as he washed away the day's heat and sweat. The clothes Wymack leant him were ridiculously big on him, but at least they covered his scars. Neil bundled his dirty clothes into the wet towel and left the bathroom with them. He felt relaxed for the first time all day, but that faded at the sound of Wymack's angry voice. 

Neil crept down the hall toward the living room. Andrew was standing silent in the middle of the room as Wymack went up one side of him and down the other. Judging by the impatient look on his face, Andrew was still sober. He was also facing the door, which meant he spotted Neil first. 

"Have a nice stroll?" he asked, interrupting Wymack's tirade. 

Neil returned his cold stare with a heated, "Fuck you." Before he could stop himself.

Wymack snapped his fingers in front of Andrew's face, trying to get Andrew to look at him instead of Neil. "I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now. Abby and I made it clear we wouldn't tolerate a repeat of last year, Andrew." 

"This isn't a repeat." The edge in Andrew's voice said he'd already argued this point several times. "We only gave him crackers and a little dragon's bane. You think he'd have made it back here on his own otherwise?" 

"Don't 'only' me. What the fuck were you thinking?" 

"What were you thinking, bringing him here after he tried to run away the first time? And to let him Impress?" Andrew returned. 

Neil decided to cut in before Andrew got too wound up again and he lost his courage. "Weyrleader, I need to talk to Andrew for a minute. Can we use your office?" 

"No," Wymack said. "I don't trust you two not to kill each other, so you're staying right here until this is resolved." 

That left only one option, but Neil hated to do this in front of Wymack. The only saving grace was Wy’Rhaun, raising his massive head and giving Neil a slow, reassuring blink from behind his curtain. He knew it wasn’t much, but it was enough. He took a deep breath, then turned back to Andrew

"What the hell is your problem? How can you threaten Nicky for coming onto me but condone drugging me out of my mind against my will? Why can't you just leave me alone?" That wiped the irritation off Andrew's face. It was forever before Andrew finally deigned to answer him. 

"That's one more bit of unexpected backbone from you, little green. It makes you much prettier than cowardice." 

"What makes you think I care?" 

"How many times can you stand up against me before you tuck your tail, runaway?" 

Neil ignored that. "Tell me why you did that." 

"I already did," Andrew said. "I'm the one still waiting for your answer." 

"I answered you. I told you I'm not leaving while Tenith is still vulnerable. You're insane if you think I am." 

"Then you’ll hightail it as soon as you stupidly think it’s safe. Correct me. I dare you." 

"Give me a reason." 

"Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "One single dragon isn’t enough. She can’t protect you alone, but she’ll damn sure try- and the minute Thread rains down, she’ll try to fly THAT threat alone, too. You have a place here- you have people willing to protect you and stand by you- to make you stronger, but you keep running like you WANT to die. If that’s the case, just go now and save us all the trouble. It’s already bad enough all the dragons will mourn when she dies, and you still won’t take that into consideration.”

"I won’t let her die," Neil said, feeling cold all over. 

"You already are. She already KNOWS she was just hatched to die at your whim. Did you know that she asked Yardith to cry the longest and hardest because he’s her favorite?" He said it so casually, like he was asking for the time, that Neil could only stare at him for a minute. It was such a shock to his already shaken mental fortitudes that Neil didn't understand how he even thought to ask it. 

Then he remembered who he was talking to and asked, "When does she talk to Yardith about that?" 

Andrew gave a dismissive flick of his fingers. "When you’re too busy having your nightmares to care what she’s thinking. Honestly, you’re the fourth worst parent I’ve ever met- ah… wait, no, that would be my mother. Forgive me. You’re the FIFTH worst parent I’ve ever met face-to-face." 

Neil swallowed hard like it was the biggest pill he had ever taken in his life. He knew the twins didn't know who their father was, and only Aaron grew up with their biological mother. Andrew was surrendered to foster care when he was just a few days old. He spent thirteen years as a foster shifted from Hold to Hold and three at the mines. It wasn't until he was released on early parole that his mother let Andrew move home. Five months later she died in a chariot accident that left her body so mangled and trampled it was a wonder how they knew it was even her they laid to rest. Neil doubted Andrew attended the funeral. But if she was fourth and had still deserved whatever it was that all signs pointed to Andrew doing to her, that didn't make Neil feel any better about being fifth.

"I would never hurt her," Neil said, but he couldn't go on. Fear was an iron grip around his lungs, making it impossible to breathe. Neil had already decided on what he had to do to protect his precious girl on his walk, but he didn't want to say it aloud. Not to Andrew. Not with Wymack in the room, watching them like a hawk. The words came out in jagged pieces and he hoped his struggle didn’t take away from the truth he was about to spill. "I would never hurt her on purpose… But I’m scared." 

That got Andrew's attention. Neil swallowed hard, trying to clear the tightness from his throat, and forced himself to explain. "I’m terrified to stay in one place for too long. I was raised for one half of my life to be the son of the Master Butcher.. And the other half I was raised to be a lie- everything about me was- is- a lie. My… My hair- my eyes, my NAME. My mother did everything she could to make sure my father never found me and the only thing that kept me alive was running and being someone ELSE. I didn’t even know I could speak to dragons until you came up and told me. I still can’t believe she made them promise to protect me till I became a rider myself. I always thought that was the most dangerous path I could ever take. My father…”

Neil fell silent, but Andrew and Wymack froze as well. Only Wy’Rhaun rumbled quietly from off to his side.

“My father was bought by the Moriyamas and they sold me to Riko just the same as they sold Kevin. The only stipulation was that I had to Impress a Bronze once I was Searched so when it happened they took me to Telgar, which is how I met Kevin and Riko. I didn't know who they were back then. I was just excited to meet kids my age. I thought we were going to be friends or something. Just flying with the other riders. Then my father was told to show me and Kevin an example of what happens to a Bronze in the Weyr who gets too cocky and thinks they can surpass a Moriyama and try to be Weyrleader." 

Andrew wasn't smiling anymore, but Neil was. He felt it as it curved across his lips and knew it was a sick, ghastly expression. He dug his fingernails into his mouth, trying to claw the look off his face, but it was frozen in place. "We watched him cut up Telgar’s wing second and heard all the dragons cry that day… It was a warning for us to never get too bold, but especially for me to make sure I still Impressed a Bronze," Neil said. "I didn’t know my mother could talk to Dragons, but apparently she overheard the Queen or some other dragons talking about another boy- Jean- and somehow knew he would be the one to Impress the other Bronze egg on the hatching grounds. She knew my father would kill me, so she took me… and we ran… with the help of Testuji’s bronze. If Riko recognizes me and word makes it back to his uncle… if he recognizes me and realizes I can talk to all dragons just like my mother, I know what will happen to me." 

Andrew said nothing for so long Neil thought he'd blown it, but finally Andrew moved. Wymack shifted his weight, ready to intervene if things turned violent, but Andrew only came to stand right in front of Neil. "Then why did you come here?" Andrew asked. 

"Because I'm tired," Neil said, voice shaking with the effort it had taken him to tell the whole truth, and the remnants of the Dragon’s Bane.

"I have nowhere else to go, and I'm… partially, I’m too jealous of Kevin to stay away from what he has. He knows what it's like to hate every day of his life, to wake up afraid every day, but he's got you at his back telling him everything's going to be okay. He has K’holinth. He has everything, even when he's lost everything, and I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing." 

Andrew reached up and forcibly uncurled Neil's fingers from his mouth. He pushed Neil's hand out of the way and stared Neil down with nothing between them, just like that first day in the showers. Neil didn't understand the look on his face any better now than he had then. There was no censure over Neil's crooked parents or pity for his failed first Search, no triumph over having backed Neil into admitting so much, and no obvious skepticism for such an outlandish story, as if every dragon’s Weyr had such deep dark secrets. Whatever this look was, it was dark and intense enough to swallow Neil whole, just like the Dragon’s Bane. 

"Let me stay," Neil said quietly. "I'm not ready to give this up yet." 

That strange look left Andrew's eyes. His expression cleared to stony indifference and he let go of Neil. 

"Keep it if you can, but don’t tell me like this. You and I both know it won't last long, so tell me when you’re sober." Neil's stomach gave a nauseating flip.

He'd been lying since he'd first learned to speak. What he'd just told Andrew was the most honest thing he'd ever tell someone about his life, and Andrew took it without batting an eye, just like he had taken each and every scar he had. Neil didn't know how to feel about that. He should be relieved, because it meant Andrew might be done asking him if he was staying or leaving or if he belonged to this person or that like some common possession, but it went deeper than that. He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle his crazy, mixed up emotions with the same calm acceptance, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider. 

"I don’t know if I can stop wanting to run away so easily," Neil said. "Seeing Riko again might be too much… I don't look now how I looked then, but I can't risk Riko's family recognizing me." 

"Such an unexpected will to survive from someone who has nothing to live for. Next time we have a little heart-to-heart like this, maybe I'll ask you to justify that." 

"I don’t want to hurt her anymore." 

"Let's not," Andrew agreed. 

Neil hesitated, then asked, "Are you going to ask me again?" 

"Don't ask me stupid questions." 

The battle between relief and disappointment was almost strong enough to bring him to his knees. 

Neil sucked in a slow, rattling breath and closed his eyes. As the day's anger and fear ebbed away he was left feeling exhausted and hollow, whole body still shaking as he tried to push the last of the drugs out of his system. Maybe Andrew's night out in Columbia had been awful, and maybe he'd never wanted to say these things out loud, but having the air cleared between him and Andrew to some degree took an enormous weight off his chest. He'd convinced Andrew to back off and leave him alone, at least for a while. The Fox Court was his until their match against the Ravens. 

It wasn't freedom, and it wasn't safety, but it was breathing room. That was enough. 

"We're leaving," Andrew said after a long pause. 

Neil opened his eyes. "Where are we going?" 

"Back to the apartment," Andrew said. "Your weyrmates have been annoying us ever since we got back, demanding we return to Columbia and scour the streets in search of you." 

"He can stay here if he wants," Wymack said. "I can send Iso and let Dan know he's safe." 

Andrew didn't look at Wymack. "Neil wants to come with me." 

A day ago, those words might have been an order or a threat, but today Neil heard only truth. He'd chosen the Foxes. He'd chosen to trust Andrew, whatever that meant and whatever consequences it brought down the road. There was no reason or need to hide behind Wymack- or Wy’Rhaun- now. 

"Thanks for the shower," Neil said to Wymack. "I'll wash your clothes and bring them back on Monday." 

Wymack glanced between them, obviously wondering if they'd really settled things that easily, and said, "No rush." 

"Going now," Andrew said, and led Neil out. 

Wymack must have still sent the little bronze fire-lizard ahead anyway, because when they got back to the dorm all of the Foxes were in the hallway waiting for them. Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky were leaning against the wall near their suite door. The upperclassmen stood in a small clump in the middle of the hallway outside Dan's room. Neil wanted to skip the questions and hide in his room, but as soon as he was close enough Dan caught his shoulders and patted him down for injuries at the same time as Tenith tried to tackle him with all the weight her tiny dragon body possessed. "Are you okay?" Dan asked. 

Where have you BEEN all this time?! I thought you were going to party, but all you did was sleep!-- Tenith accused him at the same time. -- If you were tired all you had to do was tell me and I would be quiet and sleep in my own bed!

"I'm fine," Neil said to both of them, kneeling down to shower Tenith in kisses and hugs. 

"Andrew?" Kevin asked. 

Andrew paused in his doorway long enough to look at Kevin. "I'm washing my hands of this. He's your problem now." He disappeared into his room. 

Aaron and Nicky exchanged looks before following, and Neil clamped down hard and fast on his thoughts about that duo. Kevin was the last to leave, and not without sending Neil a searching look first. Neil watched the door close behind them, then faced the rest of his teammates, still cradling Tenith in his arms and reassuring her that he was just fine, though he was a bit tired still.

Dan still looked angry, and Matt looked wired for a fight. Seth and Allison were already heading for Neil's shared common room, likely bored by the peaceful resolution. Renee's gaze was searching. Neil couldn't hold her stare for long. "Wymack said you hitchhiked your way back here," Dan said. "I'd yell at you for being stupid, but the Weyrleader said he handled that already." 

"Lesson learned," Neil said. "Next time I'll call for a ride." 

You rode on a boat? What’s that like? Wait- did you go off of the island? Without me? To sleep?-- the little green questioned him with half-slitted eyes. Neil was constantly surprised by the range of expressions her little dragon face could make and he told her so in lieu of an answer before showering her with even more affection. He didn’t know how to explain it to her, and now was not the time to come clean and actually sit down to have a heart to heart with his precious girl. She already bore far too much, and Neil knew he couldn’t keep trying to shield her… but it was just too much to deal with at the moment.

"There won't be a next time." Dan gave a heavy sigh and scrubbed her face. "Come on." They went back to Neil's suite. Six piles of cards lay face down in the living from an interrupted game and were surrounded by a graveyard of half empty mugs and cups. Allison and Seth were rummaging through the small coldbox when Neil passed, and he had to urge Tenith along as well- there was no food for her in there. Renee continued to the living room to get her cards, but Dan and Matt followed Neil to the bedroom. They stopped in the doorway and watched as Neil went to his chest. Neil traced the lines of it with his fingers and smoothed his fingers over the sturdy but not impenetrable lock. 

"You were right," Neil said. "Andrew was too much for me to handle." 

"We won’t let him get away with it anymore," Dan said. "He won’t be able to get to you with us in the way" 

"There’s no need," Neil said. “We came to an understanding… I might not have been able to handle him, but I didn’t give up, either… Still, thank you.” 

"Thank Renee," Dan said. "She doesn't take sides all that often." 

"It's so much easier when she does, though, and this time she’s decided to help keep you," Matt said. Neil wondered if she had some sort of possession fetish as well and frowned to himself as Tenith pointed out that most of the time there was only one master of each singular possession. He tried not to think about how she knew THAT but not what a boat ride was like. He wouldn’t be able to blame anyone else but himself, after all.

"Andrew seems to like her," Neil said. 

"They've got an understanding," Matt said, but didn't explain. "We're between rounds in our game. You should join in. It'll help clear your head, I think. Spending too much time with Andrew's lot will rattle anyone." 

"I'm probably going to crash early," Neil said. "It was a long day and I have to spend some time with Tenith." 

"We'll take our stuff to the girl’s common room, then," Dan said, and they closed the door on their way out. Neil waited until their voices faded before turning to settle himself on his cushions. As he finally sat face-to-face with his precious, beautiful, wonderful Tenith, he realized his hand was still trembling. He held up his shaky fingers where he could see them better and wondered at the equally weak flutter in his chest. Tenith’s wedge-shaped head moved forward then, and she nuzzled into his hands, finally stilling the tremors and filling his heart and soul with that perfect sense of belonging he had first felt upon Impression.

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.


	9. 'Fine'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil doesn't know how else to tell his weyrmates that he's fine, and he wishes they would stop asking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, guys! You asked for it, so I'm going to continue. I really appreciate all of your support!

Neil didn't see Andrew's group again until practices on Monday. He knew that Andrew told him to come and make his announcement once he was sober, and he really did mean to.

… but… 

He had convinced himself that he needed to spend more time with Tenith. He had even gone so far as to spend the whole day Sunday out of the weyr with her. She was awkward at walking, and got tired every mile or so, but she was fast and beat her little wings every time they crested a hill or the wind blew into them. After sitting down with her and having a serious heart-to-heart with her, spilling everything he had to offer to her like he KNEW he should have done to start with, he just couldn't face Andrew. It had been one thing to say that he wanted to stay. It was another thing to actually know that if he wanted to save his beautiful girl, he would HAVE to, and Neil wasn’t even sure he could handle the beast that was opening up like that to Andrew and giving him the power to actually protect him. 

On Monday, though, he could hardly stomach the way Tenith trilled out in joy and darted straight for Yardith. He knew she wanted to see her friends, and knew he was cruel to keep her from them but facing them meant facing their riders. 

Still… He thought he would be happy to keep his distance, but when he realized that they seemed to finally have lost interest in him, he felt his stomach lurch again. It wasn’t just that he had avoided Andrew- now, they were avoiding him. When they had to interact on the court they kept it short and civil. Even Kevin seemed to have forgotten his lines. His barbed remarks were gone, replaced by a heavy, unwavering stare that somehow made Neil feel even more insignificant than he had before. Neil refused to miss his condescension, but being the bug in Kevin's microscope made him jumpy.

Dealing with them now was almost night and day compared to the way their dragons interacted. The only salve he could take from the whole strange situation was that Tenith now pointedly avoided Hemmi, no matter how kind and sweet the older green tried to be to her.

He was still trying to sort it out when he climbed into bed that night, though Tenith was doing him no favors and only started to chatter idly about how much Yardith and K’holinth praised her for growing a couple of inches taller and longer since hatching. Apparently, his problems with their riders didn’t really matter to her. She reasoned that either he would let Andrew have them or not, but either way she would still have to keep growing and he could not provide her with the amount of constant nutrition, bathing, and oiling she would need if he went on the run. However he decided his dynamics with Andrew and Kevin had nothing to do with those simple facts. 

He tried to get her to understand how difficult it was for him, but she only went on to point out that if he wanted to talk about Andrew, all he had to do was say so and she would not judge him for it. She liked Yardith, after all, and they could talk about them both.

Neil stopped trying to talk to her then, and rolled over to try to sort it out alone, but he didn't have long to dwell on it. Someone pounded on the suite door, too heavy-fisted to be one of the girls. He sat up, contemplating answering it, but knowing it was a little too late to be anything good. He knew Matt and Seth were already in their own rooms, too- that only left someone like a drudge, who would state their business out loud if it was urgent, the Weyrleader who would also yell out if they were needed, or one of the monsters.

K’holinth says to come outside now-- Tenith informed Neil a moment later, and Neil’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Don’t- stop talking with him. Don’t let him know I’m awake,” Neil quickly whispered, reaching forward and making Tenith look directly into his eyes now. She stared at him incredulously, and if dragons could roll their eyes, she would have.

Are we really going THIS far, Neil? You don’t even know what Kevin wants-- the little green pointed out.

“Tenith, I swear by all the golden queens, if you don’t--” Neil hissed, but she only leaned forward and bumped his chin with her nose, causing him to bite his own tongue before she gave him a snort that sounded a bit too much like his own to be comfortable.

I did not tell him you were awake, silly Neil. Though, he can probably see the light from the glowbaskets under the door and knows you are awake-- she said before leaning down and curling her long, whip like tail around herself as she settled onto the cushions beside him. --You will have to face him AND Andrew soon enough, though. Better sooner than later. Cowards aren’t pretty.

Neil tried to ignore the way she so casually quoted Andrew’s words to him before the hatching as he stared at the bedroom door, heart hammering in his chest. Kevin was looking for Neil. Neil didn't know why, but he desperately hoped it didn't have to do with his conversation- or lack of conversation- with Andrew. Why had he assumed Andrew would keep his acquiescence a secret? Andrew and Kevin were connected at the hip. But if Kevin found out about that, and had been staring daggers at Neil this whole time- and THEN came banging on his door at night, didn’t that mean Kevin was mad? Surely, he couldn’t have been mad because Neil was considering staying now, right?

Or was he mad because Neil was considering staying as one of Andrew’s?

Sleeping after that was almost impossible, and getting up to feed Tenith and get ready for practice the next morning was a chore. He braced himself for the worst, but Tuesday was a repeat of Monday: the same casual cold shoulder from the cousins and measuring stare from Kevin as Tenith darted around the dragons and soaked up all the knowledge she could while Neil was put to work learning everything there could be to learn about being one of the ground crew that patrolled the ground under the queen and made sure no Thread burrowed to become an even bigger menace later.

Neil was almost relieved when Kevin caught up to him at the end of practice. He'd just cut the water off when Kevin walked right up to him, ignoring the humidity in the shower just as much as he ignored Neil’s nudity and scars. "The next time I come for you, you will follow me," Kevin said. 

"Why?" Neil asked, proud of himself for keeping his voice low and even. 

"It's time to collect what's mine," Kevin said. "Andrew isn't going to interfere anymore." 

Neil didn't understand, and he tried desperately to hide his heart throbbing disappointment at those words but Kevin didn't stick around to explain. 

At ten o'clock that night, a knock came at his dorm room door again. Neil was sitting in the common room after having fed Tenigh, talking with Seth and Matt, but he made sure he was the first off the couch. He wasn't surprised to find Kevin waiting on the other side. 

Seth swore viciously at the sight of Kevin in the doorway. The couch creaked as the others got up and Neil could feel Tenith pressing against the back of his legs to push him away to see Kevin. 

"What part of 'You're not welcome here' do you not understand?" Matt demanded. 

Kevin ignored them and shoved a set of black leather riding straps hard against Neil's chest. "Let's go." 

Neil hesitated, but he didn't have long to decide. Seth and Matt were coming up fast behind him ready for a fight. Neil put his arm out to stop them as Tenith circled around his legs and stand closer to Kevin. If Seth was in front, he might have bulled past Neil to get his hands on Kevin's throat, but Matt pulled up short. 

"We'll be back later," Neil said over his shoulder. 

"Are you stupid?" Seth asked. 

"Yeah," Neil said, voice and face deadpan. "You don’t have to wait up for me. I don't mind." 

Seth huffed and stormed away, but Matt moved into the hall to watch as Kevin and Neil left. Neil didn't look back at him but followed Kevin downstairs to the back parking lot. There were more dragons now than there'd been at the start of his stay, and Neil had noticed how there had been many more people at meal times and walking around the weyr in general- even the second, and third wings had started to practice in full force, and were also training all of their weyrlings and ground grew as well. Neil didn’t have time to think about them now, though, as Tenith all but galloped up to meet Andrew. 

Andrew was waiting for them in the hall, and leaned his head to the side when Tenith bumped into him, urging him to pet her and praise her and tell her how charming she was for bringing Neil THIS TIME. Neil was surprised at how easily the blond reached up to caress the ridges above her eyes when he couldn’t even seem to keep his own eyes open- much less spare a glance towards Neil himself, even though he knew he shouldn't be. Kevin didn't go anywhere alone. It didn't matter what time of night it was; with the Ravens flying west Kevin wasn't going to suddenly get brave. 

Neil thought about the last time he'd been alone with them so late at night and realized that his after-practice practicing to learn his coordinates and flying skills with Andrew had been just before Columbia Hold. It made him wonder how many times they met up at night when he wasn’t around. 

Andrew was sitting on the cold stone floor, arms folded across his raised knees to make a pillow for his head. His eyes were closed and though he did tilt his head and move his hand to brush at Tenith, he didn't stir when Kevin leaned over and looked down at him. 

"I can just bring Yardith while you sleep, you know," Kevin said. 

"The day I let you keep Yardith while I sleep is the day I'm dead," Andrew said. "Are you getting done being stupid or are we going back to bed?" 

Neil tried very hard not to think about them both in bed together and wondered what was wrong with him to be considering something like that at a time like this. He knew that the answer was that he was nervous about giving himself over to Andrew. If Andrew already had Kevin, then what would he be? That day at Wymack’s, Andrew had given him such a strange look when Neil confessed that he was nothing… and Neil still hadn’t given Andrew an answer yet. But if he did become Andrew’s, WHAT would that make him? 

And what would that make Kevin?

Kevin sighed heavily as if Andrew was being unusually difficult and stepped aside. Neil mentally called Tenith off of Andrew so that the blond could stand, but she only gave him an absentminded ruffling of her wings before Andrew moved to stand, movements too slow but still just as graceful, even if his eyes never opened. Neil wasn’t sure he wasn’t just sleepwalking the whole way. 

Kevin let them through the locked doors and into the changing room with nothing more than silence. Andrew waited in the foyer while Kevin and Neil changed into their flying gear, watched as they gathered their straps, bails of fake Thread ribbons, and firestone and followed them to the glass. When Kevin and Neil went for the door, he went up the stairs into the stands with the treacherous Tenith trailing behind him to wait on them. Soon after, Yardith appeared and let Neil know that he would play instead.

Kevin saddled K’holinth, set the thread ribbon basket to the side, and got Neil moving right away. They ran a couple laps along the inside of the court walls, did intervals with the court lines, and stretched out at half-court. When Kevin was satisfied, he started going through drills. They started with a simple game of mid-air dodgeball where Yardith dropped a light ball of ribbon down on them from various heights and quickly escalated to more complicated exercises. Neil recognized only a few of them. Those he didn't know were harder to pick up and Kevin's impatience, absent the last two days of practice, put in an unfriendly reappearance.

The last drill they did was the hardest. Kevin grabbed the basket from the court floor and gave it to Yardith along with hoisting six numbered sandbags onto his back. The name of the game was to catch all of the thread with flame while avoiding harm to the falling sandbags, which were supposed to be falling riders. Neil had to feed K’holinth enough firestone to keep him flaming, give him the proper coordinates so that he could flame all of the thread while avoiding getting any on himself, and keep from searing the sandbags. Neil thought he did a decent job- only three of the six sandbags had any scorch marks on them as they hit the ground- but Kevin pointed out that he had missed two silver ribbons and the fact that all of his bags fell to the ground meant that all of those riders had died on impact. 

Neil didn't expect it to be so difficult, but he'd never needed such hairpin precision before. Kevin made him settled back in the saddle and took control of K’holinth once more. On his turn, he got three of his six sandbags and missed no thread, but he was doing it with his leg braces on (something Neil had noticed soon after the first practice. Kevin wore the metal and plastic braces under his riding gear and it forced his legs not to move so much in the saddle, making movement difficult and stiff, but relieving pain from pulling and bunching muscles he would otherwise engage as he moved with K’holinth through the air), so his misses didn't make Neil feel any better. 

"You have too much free time if you're coming up with drills like this," Neil said after he flunked a second round. 

"This is a Raven drill," Kevin said. "No one is allowed game time until he or she can sear all the thread and catch every sandbag in whichever order the master calls. Dragonlings spend weeks to months after learning to fly trying to earn a spot on our line." 

"The master?" 

"Weyrleader Moriyama," Kevin said after a pause. Neil could hear the grimace in Kevin's response, but he didn't know if it was because Neil was making Kevin say his name or because he'd slipped up so obviously. Kevin recovered by shifting out of the saddle and loosening his riding straps so that he could take off his leg braces and toss them aside before hopping back up. "Call them for me. Don't stop." 

Neil didn't think it was a good idea for Kevin to fly without his braces, even if it'd been nearly a year and a half since his assault, but he didn't argue. He counted the bags off in random order with only a second between the numbers. Kevin didn't wait for him to finish but moved with him, steering K'holinth from bag to bag, making sure he gently and expertly caught each one between a separate set of ridges along his back. All six bags were caught in the exact order Neil called, and every single silver ribbon was flamed with clicks to spare before they hit the ground. Kevin steered K'holinth to the last three while spiraling around in such a way that the bags didn't even have the chance to fall before he was done spewing the largest line of flame Neil had seen to date. 

Between the Foxes' in-fighting this past week and Kevin's bullying all before hatching, Neil had almost forgotten why he liked flying so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his future wingmates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush that was only amplified by Tenith's mirrored emotions. 

"I want that," Neil said. 

"Then start really trying. You should have no excuse, once Tenith gets off the ground. She's fast and you're perfectly fine." Kevin motioned to Yardith to fly above them again and landed so that he could return his braces under his flying straps. He gave his left a small shake as he returned to his starting spot. "This is the first of eight Raven precision drills. When you master this one, we will move on. We'll meet every weeknight save Friday until you can do all of them in your sleep." 

"But we've lost a month of practice already, and I can't even fly yet. Tenith is still just a baby… but if you wanted to do this, why wait so long? If you were going to let me use K'holinth..." Neil said. 

It is not Kevin who is allowing you to use me. I am the one who decides to listen to you. It is my choice, and I think you are more than ready to fly now. Until your Tenith is strong enough to fly with you, this is how you can train-- Neil heard K'holinth In his mind, and mentally apologized. He didn't mean to offend!

"Because you set Andrew off unnecessarily," Kevin said, annoyed and catching Neil off guard. "He said I couldn't be alone with someone who had no intention to build lasting connections and he wouldn't let me bring you here." 

"And you always do what Andrew says?" Neil asked, remembering exactly why he had dreaded seeing them face to face again.

"He is the only reason I can stay here, so yes," Kevin said, reminding Neil that there were much bigger problems in the world than petty contracts. "Now shut up and practice. We're weeks behind where you should be at this point." 

They spent the next half-hour on that same drill before moving on to footwork. Even though he insisted Neil should be much farther ahead in terms of skill, Neil had to constantly remind himself that he was still just a dragonling, and his Tenith couldn't even fly yet. No matter how far along Kevin seemed to think he should be, Neil was much farther along than any other new dragonrider from the same clutch. That didn't seem to matter to Kevin, who worked him as hard as he deemed fit without regard to mental or physical fatigue, only calling it quits at twelve-thirty. 

Neil was disappointed to stop after just two hours, but as he helped Kevin collect their riding gear and practice tools, fatigue started to set in. He was yawning by the time he followed Kevin off the court and K'holinth and Yardith blinked Between. Kevin went into the stands to find Andrew, so Neil took a rare first shower when Tenith informed him Andrew was going to talk with Kevin about practice for a bit. 

He was halfway through when Kevin joined him. Neil tried not to stare again, but couldn't help glancing over a couple of times. The scars were old, but still reacted to heavy strain and Neil could tell they were pinched and red around the edges even before the hot water hit them. Really, Neil wondered how Kevin could even stand after riding for so long, but the other dragon rider only treated it as regular sores and pains, taking only a bit longer to sit on one of the stone benches and massage oils into the scars once he had finished washing. Neil quickly finished drying off and dressed in the same sleeping clothes he had left his room in when he was done, going into the locker room to drop his uniform off. 

He waited there for Kevin, and then followed Kevin to the lounge to collect Andrew and Tenith on their way out. He tried not to admit to himself that he didn't want to talk to Andrew alone- even with Tenith. If certainly didn't help that when they finally stepped out, Andrew said nothing to either of them the whole walk back to the dorm. Neil was quiet as he went into his dorm room, urging Tenith not to make too much noise in case she woke the others but the excess care was unnecessary. Matt was at his desk in the common room when Neil stepped in to turn the glow basket, bleary-eyed and half-slouched. 

He perked up a bit as the dragonling stepped inside and Neil could see the worry on Matt's face. "You good?" 

Neil realized Matt had been waiting up for him. Surprise warred with unexpected guilt in an uncomfortable twinge. "Yes. He's teaching me Raven drills." 

"You're going to hate getting up in the morning," Matt said, standing to turn the glowbasket nearest to himself. Neil knew he wouldn't. He'd be tired and sore, but he'd be getting up so he could take care of Tenith and go back to the court- back to the sky. It wasn't worth arguing about, though, so he murmured something unintelligible and got himself a cup of water before moving back to the bedroom. 

It felt like only a matter of seconds before Tenith was gently nudging him to wake him up again. Neil double-checked the light filtering in through the windows to make sure it was the right time, scrubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes, and went rolled out of his sleeping furs to get ready for the day. 

Maybe last night's practice was an icebreaker in Kevin's strange world, because Kevin's angry comments made a comeback this morning. They harkened more to the angry disappointment Kevin started the previous month with, though, and less like the hostile insults Kevin resorted to after hearing about the district change. Neil tried to appreciate the difference and almost succeeded. Almost. 

The cousins still had nothing to say to Neil, but Neil noticed Nicky watching Kevin and Neil from time to time throughout practice and remembered his previous promise to stab the former a couple of times when he had the chance. Seemed he hadn't missed the thawing ice between the two and the last thing Neil wanted was for him to think he was included in thst, too. Neil waited for him to say something, too eager to retaliate, but anytime Neil looked Nicky's way, Nicky feigned to find something else suddenly fascinating. Neil let it slide for then, unwilling to be the first to break the silence after what Nicky had helped Andrew do to him in Columbia and not at all eager to have Andrew try to kill him for being the first one to strike something of 'his'. 

Nicky's patience lasted until Wednesday afternoon. Andrew had weekly sessions with his psychiatrist on Wednesdays. Nicky dropped him off at the medical center while the Foxes were lunching since it seemed her office was just outside of the Weyr to make it easier for the townsfolk to get to her without fear of dragons being too close, and made it back in time to change out for afternoon drills. The men were all in the changing room, checking the straps on their armor and tugging their uniforms on again, when Nicky broke. 

"Listen, Neil, are you ever going to forgive me?" Nicky asked quietly, leaning in just enough for Neil to hear him and turn his gaze slowly from a worn leather boot up to meet his gaze. 

"Is that how you're going to apologize to me?" Neil asked, forgetting the wind collar he was tightening around his neck, voice just as quiet but dripping with all the built up hatred.

"What do you mean, is this how? I've been trying to talk to you all week but you keep avoiding me. I'm really sorry we tricked you into the dust and bane. I swear, we were just doing what Andrew needed to get at you, you know?" Nicky asked, and Neil waited for him to continue, but lost patience before long. 

"Are we really going to sit here and pretend like Andrew told you to grab me- hold me like that? Kiss me? Crawl into bed with me?" Neil asked, voice starting out a quiet, low steel and slowly hiking to a hiss so full of venom even Aaron turned to look at them.

"Woah, hey, that was just a little fun. I didn't hurt you then- I was just making sure you were having fun- then making sure you were alright, Neil. It wasn't-" Nicky started, his voice still quiet as he glanced around, as if afraid others would overhear. Tenith was standing now, a low growl building in her chest as she wedged herself in front of Neil, wings spreading up and out defensively as if to cover him.

"Fun? Nicky? Fun? I told you no. I told you to stop- you KNEW I would never want to kiss you when I was sober but since I wasn't able to stop you, you just decided you would take your chances and see if you could do to me what you never had the chance to do with Kevin, huh? See how drunk or high I could get till I couldn't possibly be straight anymore?" Neil asked, voice hardly a whisper anymore as he slowly stood, too worked up to stop. 

"Neil, I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that big a deal. It was just a kiss-"

"A kiss I said no to."

"You were too high-"

"I was crying- I told you to stop."

"I didn't-"

"I had no idea if you would or wouldn't- do you have any idea how terrifying that is?"

"I would never hurt you- you make it sound like I wad out to rape you or something-"

"Wouldn't you?! If I said no and you could still kiss me- hold me- crawl into my bed without my permission while I was blacked out what else would you do?!" Neil was so angry, he didn't even notice the others had crowded around and Matt and Kevin were standing between them now, Dan holding Tenith back before the little whiplash could lunge at Nicky with all of Neil's fury. 

"By the first egg, Neil, I'm not a bad man! I would never rape you!!" Nicky was protested. 

"I didn't know that and you gave me no reason to trust you!! And now you have the AUDACITY to ask me if I would ever forgive you?! Who the FUCK do you think you are?!!" Neil was yelling now, straining to get free, unaware that he had his belt knife clutched so tightly in one hand, he was shaking with the effort to keep hold of it as Seth tried to pry it free while Matt held the arm taught. 

"Neil-" Nicky sounded frantic- desperate to get Neil to believe him but all Neil could see was red.

"Nicky. He won't listen to you right now and it sounds like there is a lot more to the Columbia Hold trip than we were originally told. Let us just get him calm first, and we can figure out what happened." Neil vaguely registered the voice as Renee and twitched in her direction just before Matt got him into a more secure hold, forcing his arm back so that his grip would loosen.

"Neil, please, I just--" Nicky was trying again, even as Aaron started to lead him out, catching his hand as he reached out to Neil.

"Do it! I DARE you," Neil suddenly grinned, lunging forward again and inviting Nicky to be so bold. "If you ever fucking lay another hand on me again, I'll cut you down into so many fucking shreds there won't even be enough left for the Threads to devour!!" 

"Golden queens, Neil!" Allison gasped out, but Aaron had already yanked Nicky out and Tenith was already reassuring Neil that the threat was gone for now. 

It still took another five minutes for the wing to get Neil to sit down and take a few deep breaths, and even then it took Kevin shoving him down and looming over him to get through. It took still longer for Kevin to get K'holinth to break through Neil's furious mind and reassure him the threat was over, but Neil eventually did relax, deep lung fills of air making their way into his lungs as he hugged Tenith close, finally coming back to himself and realizing the scene he had caused. 

"Golden fucking queens, Neil…" Allison breathed again.

"What HAPPENED?" Dan demanded. 

"Nicky wouldn't rape anyone," Seth pointed out, arms crossed and voice angry. A spitting hiss from Tenith made him step back, but Renee was the one to hold out a calming hand. 

"Let's give Neil a moment to talk. Neil… are you alright?" Asked the pale haired blue rider. 

"I'm fine," Neil finally managed, and glared up at her and Kevin, as if he could force them to make the others leave him alone. "This is between me and Nicky."

"You fuckin made it between you and the whole damn wing just now-"

"Seth!" Dan snapped.

"I've GOT this. It's between me and Nicky. He's the one who decided to bring it up here and now, but I'm fine." Neil snapped, and started to stand. 

"Fucking hell--" Matt started, but another calming hand from Renee stopped him. 

"It must be hard to have something so shocking happen, much less to have all your business aired out like this in public. We won't pry if it's too hard to talk about it for you, Neil." She said, shocking him into pausing putting away the rest of his gear. The rest of the team was silent, too, but their eyes judged where hers seemed to just SEE him. "But this is something big. Too big to keep to yourself. We won't tell anyone what we overheard, or whatever theories we might have come up with because of it… still, when you want to talk about it, you're more than welcome to come with us. We'll be here to hear you out, or help you in any way you need. Even if it's just to stay with you for a while." 

"I said I'm fine," Neil swallowed hard after a moment, distrust edging. He could only hope they really wouldn't tell Andrew. "I don't need your help. I just need to get down to the farm and feed Tenith before dinner."

Renee turned to exchange a glance with Dan and Matt, then nodded towards Neil again. "Alright. Ker'la and Lynth were going to feed after practice anyway, so they should already be down there." She reassured quietly as Dan and Matt started to turn the others back to getting their gear packed again. Neil said nothing to that, only turning to his own cubby, forcing his still trembling hands to keep moving. Tenith pressing up against the back of his legs was a reassuring pressure, and her warm leathery wings were a reminder of Wy'Rhaun and his staunch protection. 

"Neil," Renee said quietly a moment later, and he paused again, just about to lace up his running boots now. "Bee is also available whenever you need to talk. She has regular hours, but she's more than willing to help anyone any time… the same goes for the weyrleader and Abby." 

"I don't know how else to tell you I'm FINE, Renee." Neil finished tying his boots with too hard a yank and stood, motioning to Tenith to go ahead of him. "Thanks anyway." Was all he said before turning and leaving, knowing every one was watching him from one final glance back, seeing Matt replacing his riding dagger into its sheath on his belt. 

Neil spent longer than he needed to carving the carcass for Tenith, knowing that the two large female dragons were watching over him from the field they had already finished their feast in, and took the longest route around the Weyr and back to the kitchens. He had even convinced himself that it was a better idea to go for another walk and was leaving by a different pack so that when Andrew made it back from the HarperHealer's office, he happened to see, but when he might have had the chance to stop and tell him about the event, he let it slide. Andrew was drugged and happy; Neil didn't want him to change his mind in a burst of scatterbrained amusement. Especially not when he still didn't have an answer and especially not about someone who was one of 'his'. There was no guarantee Andrew would even see anything wrong with what Nicky had done, after all. Nicky certainly seemed to think he was innocent, and just following orders. The last thing Neil wanted to do was to prove his biggest fears true and find out Andrew really was the kind of man to order something like that.

That night Kevin was at his door again. Neil bid his disgruntled teammates goodnight once Matt and Seth were sure Nicky wasn't anywhere nearby and followed Kevin to the hall. Andrew was smoking against one of the deep window ledges but stubbed his cigarette out upon their arrival, leaning down to brush at Tenith's long neck and back and praise her in quiet, gentle tones. He took them to the stadium, waited for them to change, and went up into the stands with her as they continued to the court. When Kevin called K'holinth to them, Neil asked, "How often do you two come here?"

"Every night," Kevin said. 

Neil looked over his shoulder at the stands, but he couldn't see Andrew, even if he saw the tip of Tenith's bright green tail waving about. He wanted to ask if Andrew found out- already knew about- Nicky. "Isn't he bored of this by now? He's never going to practice with you, so why does he humor you?" 

"He will," Kevin said. "He just doesn't know it yet." 

"You know, when I talked to him before, he said something different." 

Kevin ignored that and started pointing out coordinates for interval runs. "Let's go." 

Neil pushed Andrew and Nicky out of his thoughts and focused on Kevin's drills. They had two weeks of practice before the Harper Hall made an official announcement regarding the district change. 

The day's practice was over and the team was back at the dorm when Wymack called to warn them. Matt flipped open the bulky scroll to see the segment. They'd missed seeing the actual running Harper who would have explained the whole deal to them full of enthusiasm and embellishments but were still able to read as many official details as they wanted. 

"Here it comes," Matt said, eyes still darting back and forth as he read. "They'll be all over us like white on rice. Wymacks Iso is going to be darting back and forth till his wings wear out, poor bronze." 

"I didn't sign up to be part of a freak show," Seth said, knocking back another mug of easy hold crafted beer. "Let's just send him back north and be done with it." 

"Why do you hate him?" Neil asked. 

Seth looked at Matt. "Told you this kid was stupid." 

"Why do you hate him so much," Neil clarified, "that you'd wish such a thing on him?" 

"Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day," Seth said. When Matt started to say something, Seth pointed a warning finger at him and kept going. "Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The whole of Pern is dying to give him anything he wants. 

"When he broke his legs, his fans cried for him. They flooded our changing room with letters and scrolls and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't fly anymore, they said. Poor K'holinth, they wept. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me," Seth said, leaning forward on the couch to stare at Neil, "when's the last time anyone cried for you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?" 

"So you're jealous," Neil said. Seth made as if to throw his mug beer at Neil. 

"His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented or has a bronze." 

"You have to admit your attitude makes it hard for anyone to care about you," Neil said. "You and Kevin both have impossible attitudes, but he can fly better. Of course they chose him." 

"Look here, low glow," Seth started, incensed. 

"He has a point," Matt cut in. "This is your last year before Threadfall, Seth. Maybe it's time for a fresh start. Give the people someone to rally behind and you'll win them over." 

"What's the point?" Seth slouched back on the couch again, relaxing against the pillows he had stacked behind himself. "We're the laughingstock of the dragon race and Telgs3r is going to massacre us this fall. It doesn't matter what I do. No one will ever recruit a Fox to the pros, much less let us fly a Fall alone." 

"Awesome attitude, Seth," Matt said. "Way to encourage the rest of us." 

"I am encouraging you," Seth said. "I'm encouraging you all to stop being stupid. You're not going to get anywhere so long as you fly for this weyr." 

"You're too big of a coward to try," Matt said. "Neil and I will prove you wrong. Right, Neil?" 

"I'm just here to fly," Neil said. "I don't care about the future." 

Matt stared at him. "You don't really believe that." 

Neil shrugged and stroked Tenith's back crests. "Afraid so." 

Matt looked between them. Seth raised his beer in a silent toast, somehow looking both smug and angry. "I can't believe you two," Matt said at last. 

Neither man answered him. Matt looked to the ceiling for answers, then said, "I guess our dinner plans are scratched. I'm not going downtown if the Harpers are out and about; I don't care how many Hold Guards Chuck gave us. Let's see about ordering something from Beal and calling in an apprentice Harper to play the strings or flute or something. You guys sit here and wallow in self-defeat or something while I check with Dan." 

Seth jeered at Matt's back as Matt left, then looked at Neil. "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." 

"Maybe I am," Neil said, and left Seth to finish his drink since Tenith had decided then that she wanted to stretch and get some fresh air. 

\-----

Weyr Harper classes were scheduled to start on the next Thursday, so Wednesday's practice was a bit of a convoluted mess. Neil had forgotten the Foxes were supposed to meet with the psychiatrist Bee before the semester began. Wymack seemed to have known this would happen and was taking no chances. He even scheduled them to go in pairs throughout the morning and tried to set them up in a way that didn't leave holes in his scrimmage lines. Matt and Dan went first, then Aaron and Kevin, Seth and Allison, and Nicky and Andrew. Neil and Renee were the last to go. 

When Andrew and Nicky returned to the sky Wymack called Neil and Renee out. Andrew waited for them in the inner ring long enough to offer Renee a silent nod Neil had no hope of deciphering. "Thank you," Renee said, smiling. "Do you want me to take Yardith to hunt while I'm out?."

Andrew glanced up at his dragon, no doubt considering his color and the texture of his hide before giving a smile and a shrug. "Sure, if Ker'la can keep him in line and won't let him overeat." 

"Kevin's not allowed to watch over your dragon but Renee is?" Neil asked, unable to stop himself. He felt a chill run down his spine with Andrew's icy blue eyes locked on him. 

"It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin. 

"Andrew only lets me and Renee watch Yardith," Nicky said. His smile didn't reach his eyes, which didn't meet Neil's suddenly stiff posture. Andrew's eyes flickered between them for a moment, and Neil could feel his cogs working. Did he know? But he didn't look like he did. He looked like he was trying to figure it out, though.

"Not Aaron?" Neil asked. 

"Don't keep Bee waiting," Andrew said, voice not quite sing-song but not totally free of Felicity either, and headed onto the court, eyes sliding from Neil and back over to Nicky again. Nicky only shrugged and followed him. 

Neil glanced between Renee and Wymack, but neither had an answer for him. Renee only smiled warmly and said, "Shall we go?" 

Neil and Renee split up in the changing room long enough to change out and freshen up. There was no point in showering when they'd be coming back to a lunch break and more drills, but neither wanted to show up at Bee's office a sweaty mess. Neil took his armor off, toweled dry, and changed into the lighter uniform they'd need that afternoon for cardio and conditioning. 

He beat Renee to the lounge and they left the training grounds together. After successfully avoiding being alone with Renee all month, Neil was stuck with her for the walk across the Weyr to Reddin Medical Center, the large healing craft hall that was built for the training and development of HarperHealers and Dragon Healers specifically for Palmetto, where the leading edge of research was being conducted. He wanted to ask her why she and Andrew got along so well, but he didn't want to open up a conversation, so he stared hard after his beloved Tenith as she half galloped in front of them and hoped she got the hint. She was getting so big lately that it wasn’t hard to pretend to admire her lengthening legs and whip like tail.

Somehow she did, and she filled the silence between them with the humming a quiet teaching ballad about the reasons and coming Threadfall warning signs. There were more Healers and HarperHealers at Reddin than Neil expected, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised. Threadfall was just around the corner. Fox weyr was full now and he'd seen traffic around the weyr as the rest of the drudges, paying Harper students,and dragon rider's families moved into the other apartments. 

Long practices and nights spent busy with Tenith and Kevin meant he'd avoided most everyone so far, but people kept showing up at his dorm looking for Matt or Seth. Neil did his best to stay out of sight anytime someone knocked, since Wymack still hadn't released his name or face to the Records craft hall yet, even if everyone in the first wing had been there for the hatching and Neil could only guess how many other hundreds of people repeated the story of the savage little green. Still, Neil wanted to protect his anonymity as long as he could. 

Reddin was split in half, with psychiatrists down a hall out of sight and an array of Healers' offices closer to the front. Renee signed them both in at the desk and went down the hall in search of Bee's office. Neil settled on one of the pale blue couches in the waiting room and tried not to stare at the window and count the angle of the shadows to tell time. Every minute that went by wound him tenser until he thought every breath would break him open, but he couldn't make himself relax. The thought of being locked up with a HarperHealer for half an hour was too awful.

What felt like an eternity later, Renee returned with a woman on her heels. Master Harper Healer Bee had pale brown hair to her chin and a few extra curves. Years of smiles were etched into her face the way only genuine warmth could scar. She looked friendly, but she wasn't harmless. The brown eyes looking out at him through dark rimmed Sightroot eyeliner were bright and intelligent. 

Neil took an instant disliking to her, borne of nerves and serious distrust of her profession. "You must be Neil," she said. "Good morning." 

Neil made himself get up and cross the room to her with Tenith as staunch support by his side, taking comfort in the way she was just large enough for him to throw an arm around her neck without stooping anymore. Bee held out her hand at his approach and Neil gave it a firm shake with his free one. 

“And you must be Tenith. You certainly are just as brilliantly green as Yardith says,” smiled the woman, and Tenith preened a bit too much for Neil’s tastes. Renee smiled a little, maybe in encouragement, and sidled past him to go meet up with Yardith and Ker’la who were still waiting patiently outside to be allowed to hunt. Neil resisted the urge to wipe his hand off on his pants only because Tenith reminded him that that would be rude and call attention to how much he disliked this new woman and preceded Bee down the hall. 

There was only one door open, and the HarperHealer's name was on a plaque beside it. Neil invited himself in and looked around, Tenith pressing up against his back to push him a couple of feet further. A floor chair and a couch faced each other with a short coffee table between them. A small potted plant was in the dead center of the table, and pillows were painstakingly arranged on both the couch and the chair. The desk in the corner was clear of everything but a hot plate and kettle. A short bookshelf was against the wall, but only the bottom three shelves had books on them. The top one was covered in glass knickknacks, but even in their clutter they looked clean, as they were all set equidistant to each other. 

"You're obsessive-compulsive," Neil said when Bee stepped into the doorway behind Tenith. 

"Guilty as charged," The HarperHealer said cheerfully. "My name is Betsy Dobson, but the dragons have named me Bee. You can call me whatever you like; I'll answer to just about anything from Betsy to Doc to Hey You. Shall I call you Neil, or would you prefer Mr. Josten?" 

"Either one is fine," Neil said. 

"Then for the time being, I will call you Neil. If you're ever offended or feel this makes our relationship too personal, just warn me and I will edit it to something more appropriate to our needs. Sound fair?" She gave him a moment, then said, "Why don't you get comfortable and I'll make us some hot cocoa." 

Neil sat on the edge of the couch, watching Tenith move over to spread out over the rest of it, her long tail curling lazily around him and settling in his lap, where he could gently stroke the flat tip, which forked into two sections and matched the deeper complection of her back ridges. He carefully brushed his fingers over the flat parts, careful not to cut himself on the deceptively sharp edges and said, "But it's August. And chocolate is even more expensive than klah. Usually it’s saved for special events." 

"Chocolate is good any time of the year, don't you think?" Betsy said. 

"I don't like sweets," Neil said. 

Bee took a mug and container of cocoa out of one of her desk drawers. "As you know, today is a casual appointment so we can get to know one another- me, you, and your dragon. This isn't a formal session where I'll be analyzing everything you say for feedback and advice, so don't stress too much about it. Have you seen a HarperHealer before?" 

"No," Neil said. "I don't know why I have to be here today." 

"Palmetto’ Fox Weyr made it policy as soon as they were founded," Bee said. "The Harper Hall expects a lot from all of the dragon riders, and more from their athletic representatives. This way they're allowing you a way to vent some of the pressure and stress they're leveling on you." 

"They're keeping an eye on their investment, you mean," Neil said. 

"That is a way of looking at it." Betsy finished stirring her drink and brought her mug to the chair across from his. "Tell me a little about yourself, Neil." 

"What do you want me to say?" 

"Where are you from?" 

"Telgar." 

"Ah, home of the Ravens." 

"It’s one of the original Weyrs," Neil said. "I guess you can say it’s best known for the Ravens now, though." 

"What else are they known for?" 

Neil hadn't talked about his father or family or even Telgar for a while- not about how it was back home. His father was the Master Butcher- of course Neil would know everything about the great and small holdings, about the elite Holders and their children- their families. He knew all there was to know about Telgar, but he didn’t know what would have to be good enough for Bee to leave him alone about it. "There are lots of Harper songs about Telgar," Neil said. "You should be more than familiar with them if you’re a Master." 

"Yes, that is true. But I was more curious to hear about what you thought was important about Telgar… the Weyrleader says that your fosters were too busy to come to the hatching or visit you still since you came. Do you think they’ll be able to make it to your first Exy game?" 

Neil affected surprise. "No. Why would they? It’s not like I’ll be flying- I’m just there as ground crew until Tenith is big enough to fly." At this, he gave her head a gentle pat and she crooned at him.

"But Exy- riding dragons- is obviously very important to you, and you are their child. That goes for your fosters as well as your birth parents," Bee said. "What you've accomplished here is nothing short of amazing. I wondered if they might come out to support you." 

"No. They don't really—" Neil gestured as if searching for words. "We're not close like that. They made sure I learned my Harper teaching ballads and got me to a Healer if I was sick, that kind of thing, but they didn't know my teachersHarpers' or Fosters’ names. They didn’t have time to sit down and watch me play in the dirt. It's not going to change now that I'm a dragon rider. They live their lives; I live mine. It works for us." 

"Does it?" 

"I said it does," Neil said and Tenith raised her head, blinking her first set of eyelids at him at the bite in his tone. "I don't want to talk about my parents with you." 

Bee accepted that and moved on without missing a beat. "How are you getting along with your wingmates?" 

"I'm pretty sure the majority of them are clinically insane." 

"When you say you think they are insane, do you mean you feel threatened by them?" 

"I mean they have issues," Neil said. "You know more than I do. Friday's game will probably be a disaster, but I don't think anyone will be surprised." 

"Are you ready for the match?" 

"Yes and no," Neil said. "I know I'm not going to be up in the sky, and I don’t expect anyone to show many any attention. I’ve seen dragon men flying in the sky and heard the recaps of Exy games from the Harpers, but I've never been in a real stadium on game night. The Weyrleader said we've already sold out of seats in the weyr bowl for opening night. I want to see what the Foxhole Court looks like when it's full. I bet it's insane." 

"And Friday doubles as your debut," Bee added. "The Harper Hall has been generous, letting David keep quiet on you and the other new riders this long. I can only imagine the fallout when the cat's out of the bag." It took Neil a moment to recognize the name, because only Abby used Wymack's first name. That Bee called him David so easily hinted at a closer relationship than he expected a Harper Healer and Weyrleader to have. Maybe it was because she spent so much time with the wingleader’s team, but Neil wasn't convinced. 

Dimly Neil remembered his first dinner in the Den, when Abby said she'd invited Bee over to dinner with them. The three were friends of a sort, which didn't bode well for Neil. How much did they talk about the Foxes? "You're friends with the Weyrleader," Neil said. 

"Abby and I went to school together in Charleston Healer Crafthall and stayed in touch after graduation. I met David through her," Bee said. "I am their friend, but I respect the sanctity of our relationship as healer and patient. What you and I say in here is meant for us alone. They will never ask, and I will never tell. Do you believe me?" 

"How can I?" Neil asked. "I just met you." 

"I respect that," Betsy said. "Hopefully I can earn your trust over time." 

Neil was planning on seeing her as few times as he possibly could, no matter all his promises of a next time, so he went with a neutral, "Hopefully." He glanced at the window, calculated how much time was left, and swallowed a sigh. 

If Bee noticed his distraction, she didn't comment on it. Instead she filled the rest of the session with idle chitchat about the season and the upcoming Harper classes Neil had almost forgotten he would have to take if he wanted to stay on the wing. Secondary education was mandatory for all dragon riders, and the weyrs sometimes doubled as colleges for Harper classes catering to specific subjects that delved deeply past general apprentice subjects. 

Most people didn’t bother taking the classes since they had to be paid for and if you were a working class citizen, you learned everything you needed for your job through your apprenticeship. If you were good enough at it and your Master was willing, you got to continue your learning with them all the way up until you were Journeyman level yourself. And if you wanted to continue your education then, you could just go to your specific crafthall and would have sufficient skill to pay your own way to a better education there. College was mostly just for the wealthy second and third sons and daughters who wouldn’t inherit the family business and had no specific skills they so desired to master yet. Still, they were interesting enough that if Neil had to take them, he was going to get as much out of them as he could.

He continued feeding the HarperHealer easy answers that wouldn't raise any flags and counted minutes in his head. When his time was finally up, he got up and preceded her from the room, urging Tenith out before him. Betsy followed him down the hall but stopped in the doorway to the waiting room to clasp his hand. "It was nice to meet you." 

"You, too," Neil lied. Renee stood, bid Betsy another farewell, and went with Neil out to the winding path back up to the weyr. 

As she hoisted herself up into Ker’la’s saddle, she leaned over to smile at Neil and said, "That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Bee." 

"Did you bet against him?" 

"Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us." 

Neil had spent the last two months blurring the truth with his weyrmates, but a half-hour talking to Bee left him too worn out to care right now. It helped a bit that honesty in this case put Renee at a disadvantage. Andrew might be trouble, but he was easier to understand than Renee's polite smiles. "I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said. "Why does Andrew tolerate you, anyway? You two should hate each other on principle." 

"Either you think too highly of me or not highly enough of Andrew," Renee said, sitting straight to allow for Ker’la gently side-stepping to avoid the darting Tenith underfoot. Neil watched as the little green literally ran a circle around Yardith, pretending to bite at his wing tips and tail. 

"My faith keeps me and Andrew from always seeing eye-to-eye, but he and I understand each other." There had to be more to Renee than her golden jewelry and pretty smiles if she'd qualified for a spot on Wymack's broken wing, Neil knew, but he hadn't thought he'd misjudged her this badly. He mulled over everything that could be wrong with her from split personalities to clinical insanity. None of his theories sounded plausible, but it kept him busy for the walk back to the stadium. 

Their return signaled the midday break for lunch, which they ate in scattered groups in the stands. They had the better part of an hour to digest afterward and ended the day with two hours of exhausting cardio. Normal practices would have kept going until dinnertime, but with classes starting tomorrow, Wymack was willing to give them a one-time break. Neil was the last one out of the showers and he found everyone waiting for him in the lounge. Wymack gestured for him to sit. Neil went to his usual chair and glanced around the room as Tenith curled up around him and put her head in his lap, wondering what was going on. None of the others looked bothered by this unexpected meeting. 

Andrew's group was more distracted by Andrew, who was already fast asleep. He'd been wide awake a few minutes ago, but he'd spent this week tweaking his medication schedule in preparation for the school year. His body wasn't used to it and he was crashing at odd times. Wymack worked around it when he could. "All right, maggots," Wymack said, snapping his fingers to get all eyes on him. "Harper Lessons start tomorrow, which means we're switching our practice times. Mornings are going to start at six o'clock at the gym. Afternoon practices are here at three. I've seen your schedules. I know you can get here on time, so don't any one of you be late, you hear me?" 

"Yes, Weyrleader," they said. 

"This isn't our weyr alone anymore," Wymack said. "Everyone's checked in and ready to go, which means a lot of people to contend with. Hold guards have doubled their numbers since hatching but they can't cover everything or everyone. Be smart, be careful. If someone's looking for trouble, get help. If the running Gossip Harpers slip past and want answers, you tell them we're not saying anything until we meet with the Harper Hall on Saturday." 

"Harper hall?" Dan asked. 

"Harper hall." Wymack took one look at her confused face and scowled at Kevin. "Didn't you tell them?" 

"There wasn't a need to," Kevin said. 

"Like, the lawmakers and judiciaries on just about every aspect of dragon culture in all of Pern? The teachers and researchers that help run all the schools? That Harper hall?" Matt asked. 

"That's the one," Wymack said. "We have to do some publicity at some point. It was part of our agreement with Chuck and the only reason we were allowed to take on Neil to the first wing anyways. We need to check in and let them know how Kevin is doing and what's coming of the boy all the dragons spoke about. Kevin chose now because the Masterharper Kathy agreed to wait until after our first game. Saturday morning we're heading up to Raleigh to give her an exclusive first interview. She really wants to get to the bottom of this all." 

"She must have fainted when you said yes," Matt said, glancing at Kevin now. "When's the last time you made an official public appearance? And anyways, does anyone even really know what the dragons were talking about when they were naming Neil? I mean, they also named some kid 'son of Mary' but we still don't know who that is, do we?" 

"December fourth," Kevin said. 

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Dan asked. "I can’t wait to hear about it when you get back." 

"Or you could come to the hall with us," Wymack said, ignoring the look Kevin sent him for that. "Masterharper Kathy invited the entire team to come and spend the weekend. It's Harper Hall, so they'll always have a concert and lots of accommodations. It's the least they can do for how many Harper's we've transported to and from Gathers and Impressions. If we show, we get front row seats to the Master Harper showing where all the masters get together and perform during Lunch. We've got to take the Bronze and Queen to show good support so there's plenty of reason to just bring the whole wing." 

"Did you want us to sit out?" Renee asked Kevin. 

"It doesn't really matter," Kevin said. 

Nicky grinned and reached over Andrew to pat Kevin's shoulder. "He just knows he has to play nice for the Hall. He doesn't want you to see his civilized side. Can you imagine how his fans would react if they heard the Harpers sing about the real Kevin Day?" 

"Do you even remember how to smile?" Matt asked. Kevin glared at him, but Matt only laughed. "Well, that's worth going for. I'm in." 

"I'll buy us doughnuts for the ride," Dan said. "Renee? Neil?" 

"No thank you," Neil said. 

"I vetoed your choice on the matter," Wymack said. "The Harper Hall is outing you Saturday night whether you like it or not, along with all the rest of the latest Riders, but you’re the only one training for our first wing. I don't want you out of my sight until the initial hubbub dies down." 

"I can take care of myself," Neil said. 

"Watch me beam with pride. It's not your job to take care of yourself anymore. It's your job to get Tenith ready to fly, and mine and Abby's job to look after you. Get your priorities straight." Wymack gave him a second to argue, then gave a satisfied nod and looked around at his team. "Questions, comments, concerns? No? Then get out of here and get some sleep. Kevin, wake that dingbat up without getting punched in the face. I don't need you starting the school year with a shiner." 

"I got it." Nicky grimaced and gave Andrew a hard shake. 

Their talking hadn't been enough to rouse Andrew, but Nicky's touch got Andrew up in an instant. Andrew was moving before he was fully awake, slamming his fist so hard into Nicky's chest Neil's entire body ached in sympathy pain, even as he brought a hand up to hide his sudden smile. Nicky gave a sick wheeze as Andrew knocked the breath out of him and sagged back against the arm of the couch. Andrew twisted on his cushion to stare at Nicky. 

Neil hadn't expected Andrew to look guilty over his reaction, but he certainly didn't expect Andrew's blank-faced surprise, either. "Nicky, are you dying?" Andrew asked. 

"I'm good," Nicky rasped. 

"We're done here," Kevin said. "Let's go." 

Andrew looked around the room, taking everyone and everything in. "I missed the powwow." 

"Kevin can summarize it for you later," Wymack said. "Clear out of here before I decide you're all better off doing more laps." The lounge emptied in seconds. 

Morning practice ended at eight the next morning so the Foxes could get to their first class on time. Neil changed out of his morning sweats into something more appropriate for class, ignoring Tenith’s reply that Andrew would be proud of him wor wearing something new, grabbed his messenger bag, and was out the door in time to join the small wave of athletes heading down Fox Weyr's southern hill to the base where a large collection of small stone buildings created the campus as soon as he had dropped Tenith off at the creche with the rest of the new dragonlings. Most of the other riders were wearing their leather riding jackets as a first-day celebration, so the sidewalk by the crosswalk was an eyesore of orange and white. 

Neil's intention was to blend in as long as he could, so he opted to skip the tradition. He wouldn't have a choice tomorrow; the entire first wing was expected to be in colors on game day. He made it to his English class with time to spare, so he managed to snag a desk in the back corner. The teacher didn't show until the bell rang from the high tower in the center of the campus, and then she came bouncing in with curls flying. She was a perky Harper journeywoman who acted like freshman composition was the greatest thing they'd ever study at Palmetto Hold. Neil followed along with her as she went through the syllabus and decided she was mental. Instead of midterms, they'd have reports of varying lengths due. 

Neil was suddenly grateful for the tutor hours he had to slot into his days. It'd made scheduling a headache, but at least he could get some help with this. He was an average writer at best, and this lady made it clear average wouldn't cut it. The only things she wanted to cover today were the syllabus and short self-introductions. As soon as that was finished, she dismissed them with a cheery farewell until the following Tuesday. 

From there it was off to chemistry, which was a large enough class it was held in an auditorium. Neil took a spot in the top row. It was impossible to see the board from where he was, but at least he had a wall at his back. Unlike his English class, the chemistry professor only spent a few minutes reviewing the syllabus before starting on an overview of introductory chemistry. His voice was an unwavering monotone that could put any living creature to sleep. 

Neil had Tenith give him a running commentary on her day with the children and other dragonlings and was absolutely appalled by the chaos, though it did keep him awake. He probably should have taken last night's practices with Kevin off in preparation for today, but he didn't think Kevin would have allowed it. Neil was doomed to spend the school year exhausted. 

All the rest of his classes that day really seemed to be attempting to break his will power to stay at the weyr, but he was determined to continue. Every time he grew weary, Tenith told him some other little fact about her own fun day, and he somehow found the strength to continue on. She was having a great day, after all. She was making friends, playing with children, and even got one of the little devils to try riding on her back and made a grand ‘escape’ out to the pools before they were caught and had to be brought back inside. It was just enough to help him power through the day until it was time to go and get her for dinner. By the time he brought he back to the apartment and set out all his scrolls for homework, though, it seemed his energy had finally been depleted. Even Tenith collapsed next to him, the weight of her heady head nothing more than a comforting lullaby that sent his eyelids plummeting. 

The angry banging of his father’s heavy fist on the closet door jarred him awake what seemed like just half a second later, and both he and Tenith bolted up. A bemused Matt was all that stood in the doorway, however. "Hard at work already, I see," Matt said dryly. 

"Something like that." 

"I'd say it gets easier, but." Matt shrugged. "You should probably cut back on your late practices now that classes are in session." 

"I'm fine," Neil said. He knew he'd never give up those practices. If he had to choose between class work and flying, the answer was obvious. Neil’s original plan was to only be here for a couple more months, after all, and he still hadn’t given Andrew his answer. He wasn't going to give up a single second of his time in the sky no matter what else it cost him. 

"You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means." 

There wasn't really a good way to answer that, so Neil let it slide. Luckily Matt didn't push it but crossed the room to his own small bookshelf. Neil spent the last half-hour until practice thinking about Exy and the Ravens, one hand idly holding his pencil while the other stroked Tenith’s eye ridges.


	10. Finally, Game Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first game is upon them, but Kevin gives Neil a test that seems impossible to pass, much less understand. Can Neil really pull off something that takes even golden Queens years to master?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, I really just made up this game and all the rules as I went, using pretty much all the game play from the books. So, if it doesn't make sense, I'm so sorry!! 
> 
> That being said, I'm sorry it took so long to post more. I've been super busy! But I will try to keep these things coming for you guys. Please bare with me!

Thursday's excitement had nothing on Friday's. The whole Weyr got decked out overnight with vibrant orange and white streamers. Ribbons and banners hung off every metal post and beam, and on every corner of every stone building that wasn't attached to the earth itself. Live apprentice Harper singers and instrumentalists took over the amphitheater for short concerts and a large flag flown under the banner of the Hold indicated that there would be a Gather later in the day. Cute young holder girls in matching dresses trimmed short in the most modern style meandered around the whole Hold in small groups, their bright smiles and cheerful invitations urging people to attend either the Gather or the game. They smiled brightly as they roamed, teasingly hooping their people would cheer with them at one or the other or follow them in the simple harper like chants to encourage a win from their hold or a good barter for trade at the market.

None of the Foxes expected to win that night, as they were opening the season against their longtime rivals Breckenridge Weyr and only had nine people in their first wing as opposed to the usual thirty or more the others would have to exchange and pick from selectively. Some suggested that the Foxes just pull from other wings in their Weyr into one full wing but when they did that before they were even worse off than they were now, and that was saying a lot, as dead last.

Until Telgar made its move, Breckenridge was the largest and first-ranked Weyr in the district, with five full fighting wings all headed by good, strong bronzes who lead with firm and rigid commands and at least three junior queens besides their senior Queen. Even if they gave two full wings to Palmetto they would still be stronger than the foxes were now. Fortunately, though, the other activities and Gather planned for that night would help quell the disappointment in the loss. It would be too much of a downer if Palmetto had absolutely nothing to cheer for so early in the Turn. 

Hold guards were out in full force that day, helping direct visitors and holders alike from meandering where they shouldn't go or needed to be and making sure guests didn't interrupt classes until the Harper's let the students free. Neil hated the sight of their blue uniforms (bother Harper blue and Guard blue alike), but having them around was better than dealing with the young, wild running Harper's, who sported a blueish green color ombred to white. They were nosy, invasive, and did not care at all about peoples wellbeing, only what songs they could write and what gossip they could spread. 

He had enough problems getting along with his classmates now that he was wearing his Exy leathers and caused a small disruption wherever he went. Neil wanted to cut class and hide at the Fox Weyr Bowl until game time, but athletes weren't allowed to call out without a legitimate medical excuse and he would be damned before he went to see either the Healer or HarperHealer for something like this. Someone from the Weyr council went around all day counting heads through classroom windows, and Wymack would be the first to hear Neil was absent, anyway. 

Luckily Neil's teammates had anticipated trouble for the newly impressed rider, especially with his shoulder knots proclaiming him as part of the first wing even if his plain jacket had no personalized markings yet. Matt was waiting for him outside his Language classroom to walk him to his next class. It didn't matter if the hold rallied behind their Exy team or not; Neil was a secret finally let out of the bag. Anyone who followed the school's or Weyr news knew the Harper Hall had bent the rules to protect Neil's anonymity. Neil had checked the daily scrolls and public Harper messages periodically throughout the last few weeks to make sure it was working. As of this morning, though, his name was in every mouth and ear on the island. 

The looks Neil kept getting made his skin crawl, but Matt kept them moving through the crowd without a problem. After his advanced mathematics class Renee took Neil to history, neatly bypassing a group of cheerleaders before they noticed the leather riding jackets in their midst. Allison found him after his history class. He had an open hour, so she dragged him to lunch with her and Seth. Neil's nerves killed his hunger, but he obediently put food on his tray and sat with them. It was the first time Neil had been alone with them, and it went better than he expected it to. 

They were in an "on" stage in their relationship, which helped. They talked mostly to each other, sparing only a few words for him, but Neil was content to watch. Seeing Seth act something other than completely hostile was fascinating, but he still didn't know what Allison saw in him. A girl with her money and connections could have had anyone and anything, but she chose to be a Fox and date Seth. Neil didn't think he would ever understand that decision. 

"Well?" Allison asked, startling Neil from his thoughts. "What are you going to do about a date?" 

They'd spent most of lunch talking about the Exy's kickoff banquet. Every school in the southeast would put in an appearance, including the Ravens. Neil wasn't planning on attending, but he hadn't yet figured out the logistics of skipping it. "I'm not bringing one," Neil said.

"That's stupid," Allison said. "Even the monster's got a date." 

Neil wasn't expecting that, but he could guess. "Renee?" 

"She hasn't asked him yet, but it's inevitable." Allison picked her pita bread into pieces and mopped up leftover salad dressing with it. "Money's on the table as to whether or not he says yes. Pot's getting pretty big, so get your bet in fast." 

The only thing the Foxes had in common besides Exy, eminent Threadfall, and hardship was their strange obsession with betting on the stupidest things. Neil had figured that out only two weeks into practice. A week didn't go by when there wasn't money on something or another. Neil looked between Seth and Allison. "Are Andrew and Renee…?" 

Seth looked like he might be sick. "Better not be." Allison gave a prim shrug. "Renee promises it'll never happen. I believe her," she said, glancing at Seth like she was daring him to argue. He stabbed at his chicken and kept quiet. 

Allison pointed a chunk of bread at Neil. "You're running out of time to find a date. Ask Aaron to set you up with one of the newly Impressed in your hatching group or lord holder’s fosterlings. I'm sure Katelyn knows a pretty face or two." The last thing Neil wanted to do was hook up with one of his hatching mates, even if the same rules of incest didn’t work between dragons since only queens laid eggs and almost always flew Bronzes far enough removed from their own hatching group that it didn’t harm anything. Still, he had no fold memories of Lord Holder’s fosterlings either. Almost all were spoiled rotten second and third sons and daughters with far too much time and money on their hands to care for trivial things like common decency to those who had less.

"Who is Katelyn?" 

"Aaron's unofficial girlfriend. She was the Lord Holder’s first born daughter and impressed the queen egg when you impressed your green. Look for her at the game tonight. She won’t be playing or even sidelining, but she’ll be with the other holder girls, cheer leading at least until her gold gets big enough to fly. It's pretty pathetic watching them moon over each other long distance." Allison checked her watch and pushed back her chair. "Have to run. Meeting the Master Harper here." She leaned across the table to give Seth a quick kiss and carried her tray away. 

Seth and Neil finished up a couple minutes later. Seth took Neil to his speech class. Dan met Neil afterward and escorted Neil across campus to the inner Weyr. She left him at the main entrance, since she still had another class to get to before she was done for the day. "Rest up," she said. "Tonight's going to be a long night, even if you are on ground crew." Neil was too tense from the morning to follow that advice, but he made a beeline for his bed anyway, pausing only to get Tenith and spend a bit of time oiling her skin to make sure she was gleaming as brilliantly green as possible in preparation for that night. 

He'd lived in several Holds like Redstone over the years and dealt with constant outlying hold curiosity and distrust of those without Hold or Hall most of his life. Somehow Palmetto Hold grated more against him, maybe because his leathers and place on the first wing demanded people pay attention to him. He couldn't fade into the background here, not with these colors and not after tonight's game. It didn’t even matter if he was flying or not. There were twenty-one thousand people living on the whole island. Neil wasn't attending for himself anymore; he was going to represent them. 

Friday afternoon's practice was canceled because of the game. The team was expected to be at the stadium by a quarter after six for their seven o'clock serve. Matt collected Neil from the bedroom at five-thirty for a light dinner with the older Riders. Dan finished first and went to check on Andrew's lot. Her expression was grim when she returned, but Matt gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"He'll be fine," Matt said. "He was last year." 

"I thought Kevin didn't fly last year," Neil said. The upperclassmen exchanged looks. Neil looked from one face to another, trying to track their silent conversation. Seth and Allison radiated impatience and disapproval, but Renee was smiling a little. Matt grimaced and shrugged, leaving the decision to Dan. 

Finally Dan sighed and turned on Neil. "There's something we haven't told you yet," Dan said. "We were going to tell you a while ago, but you and Andrew were having so many problems we figured we'd wait. We didn't know how you'd react." 

"We didn't trust you to keep your mouth shut," Allison translated. Dan made a face at her but didn't deny it. 

"So Andrew's technically legally required to take his medication, right?" Neil had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going, but he didn't believe it. 

"Yes. It was part of his plea bargain with the Harper Hall." 

"He struck a bargain of his own with the weyrleader," Dan said. "The only reason he signed with us is because Wymack agreed to let him come off his drugs for game nights and when Thread falls, if it falls before his time is up. The Weyrleader ran it by us first since we're the ones out there in the sky with him, but no one else can know. Not even Bee knows he does it. She's his doctor; she'd have to put an end to it." 

"Wait. How is Andrew supposed to guard our queen when he's sick?" he asked, thinking back to the rules of Exy. Technically, he was supposed to be guarding against Thread falling down to Pernese soil, but in the games, if the other team’s dragons flew down to the Queen and dropped their ribbons, that was pretty much as good as a ‘goal’. Sure, the ground crews raced to help burn the remainders with flame throwers once the ribbons landed on the bioluminescent moss carpet that would be rolled out, but the only thing they were really battling for was to see if they could prevent a burrow in time and give the team a chance for redemption. No one wanted a goal completion in the first place! On the way to Columbia Andrew had softened his withdrawal with alcohol and cracker dust, but he couldn't do that here- and Neil remembered how Yardith flew behind K’holinth the whole time as well. Neil still remembered how violently Andrew shook as he puked on the beach. “How is he supposed to fly Yardith?”

"He's not sick yet," Matt said. He put his hand up at eye level. "Andrew's withdrawal is a three-stage process. Imagine you're flying high all day. Then suddenly you stop drugging. First you crash." He smacked his hand down to waist height. "That's stage one. He doesn't get sick until stage two." 

"Andrew adjusts his schedule on Fridays depending on what time our serve is," Dan said. In Exy, the first ‘serve’ was when the refereeing dragon dumped the first large bucket of Thread down between the two waiting wings and all hell broke loose as they attempted to scoop up as much as they could while simultaneously loading as much firestone into their waiting dragons as they could. "He misses his dose a half-hour before the game starts and always plays first half. Usually he can ride stage one until halftime. Then he takes his medicine again and spends the rest of the night grounded." Neil guessed that was how Andrew slept all the way to Columbia. He almost made it all the way to Sweetie's before getting violently ill. 

"What's stage three?" 

"Give him his drugs or get stabbed in the face," Matt said dryly. "It's not fun. Luckily we've only ever seen him get that far once." 

"He won't get that bad tonight," Dan said. "Besides, you'll be half the court away from him. We just thought you should have a heads-up, even if it's a couple months late. Are you going to be okay with this?" 

"Is it going to jeopardize our match?" Neil asked. “You never explained how he could fly Yardith when he’s going through withdrawals.” 

"No more than anything else will," Matt said, then paused, looking around the group.

Dan stepped in then, squeezing Matt’s hand. “The truth about Andrew flying Yardith is that, actually, he doesn’t most of the time. Hardly ever, actually.”

Neil stared at her, then flicked a glance around the group to find the lie. Seeing nothing, he pressed his lips together into a thin line and glanced back at Matt.

Dan was the one to step in then, and reached over to squeeze Matt’s fingers. “The truth of the matter is that Andrew actually hardly ever really flies Yardith now anyways. The only time you can really truly fly a dragon is when you’re completely sober, because you need a clear mind for the full connection to occur. To truly bond with your dragon and give them directions- images- and lead them Between properly without getting them lost.”

“But he flies Yardith all the time… I’ve seen him do it. Has he been sober this whole time?” 

“No- you’ve seen Yardith fly all the time. Yardith and Andrew have a special connection- one that’s harder for the rest of us-- besides a Queen and a Green to achieve. Basically, for the most part, Yardith acts on his own, doing whatever he wants to do. Every dragon can act autonomously and do, whenever their Riders aren’t actively on their backs. But Yardith just does it all the time. He doesn’t wait for Andrew to give him directions- he just talks with and reacts to the other dragons around him. When he needs to fly for Andrew, then, he opens his mind and connects with Andrew, seeing THROUGH him. Yardith uses those double images the same way a gold or green rider would use them to tame their dragon during a mating flight to prevent them from gorging or outright killing everything in sight.” Dan explained.

“Wait- what? I thought all dragons obeyed their riders. Why would Tenith suddenly go on a killing rampage?” Neil asked, suddenly wary.

“They don’t mean to suddenly go killing indiscriminately- it’s part of mating. They lose reason and start acting completely on instinct- doing just what a wild animal would do when frightened or excited. They’re too focussed on eating- ravenous for a while. If you don’t stop her, she’ll end up killing and eating anything nearby, so you’ll have to guide her to the feeding grounds, then you’ll have to make sure she doesn’t gorge herself and only takes the blood from the animals instead of eating their flesh. If she doesn’t, she’ll be too full to fly and won’t rise as high when she does. That means just any dragon can catch her and mate with her, and her clutch will be small, because the descent down to the earth will be too short to impregnate many eggs. That’s not so much a problem for greens because they’re not fertile, but you’ll need to keep in mind that you’ll be completely enveloped in all of her emotions, all of the things she’s feeling at that moment. You won’t be able to control YOURSELF from trying so hard to control her and make her fly well. That also means trying to guide her to the dragon she wants-- or, against the dragon she wants and towards the one you want for her. As a green, you can do that, and it won’t affect anyone but you and her. But you’ll have to remember, nine times out of ten, since you feel your dragon’s every emotion and movement until she’s done rising, you’ll likely end up with the rider of the dragon she chooses.” Dan explained in a sudden lecture on dragon mating. Neil stared for a moment, eyes wide.

“What do you mean--” he started, only to be cut off by Renee, holding out a hand.

“It’s really something you should discuss closer to your dragon’s maturity, Neil. You won’t have to worry about it right now, and Lynth won’t rise for at least another half year. None of the other golds are really ready to rise soon yet, either since the oldest is still a year off from maturity. If you’re still nervous when the other greens rise, you can leave the weyr or stay in your room until they’re done if you like. You won’t have to worry about Tennith fully understanding or feeling the full effects until she’s reached maturity, after all.” Renee reassured him.

“But won’t it hurt her growth? If she’s- what?- Exposed? So soon? I don’t want her growth stunted, but I can’t take her with me.” Neil frowned. 

“It won’t hurt her to experience a mating flight. None of the children in the weyr have to evacuate when there’s a green flight. It only really affects adults so intensely.” Matt shrugged.

“But if I get aroused, won’t my dragon feel it?” Neil pointed out. “We were all warned- especially greens- not to do anything for a year.” Neil narrowed his eyes now. Dan and Matt exchanged looks, and Seth smirked over at him.

“So you’re just going to ride on blue balls for the whole year? Did you really think that every single dragonling just didn’t have sexy thoughts for a whole year?” he laughed. Allison elbowed him hard now, though, and he grunted in pain.

“Does it matter how I feel, if that’s going to affect my dragon? I can’t have her messed up because I’m being irrational,” Neil demanded, remembering that Seth’s Dono really wasn’t all that large to be a brown dragon. Maybe it was a coincidence, but he wasn’t going to chance it.

“Which shows just how great of a rider you’ll be when your green DOES mature. But for now, you don’t have that problem, and you won’t have a problem with her growth or anything if you leave her here and decide to leave the wheyr during a mating flight. Children aren’t affected the same way more mature people are. And it’s not relevant to Yardith and Andrew.” Dan was forcing the conversation back on topic, no matter the irritated look from Neil, who clearly wanted to know more. “Yardith is the only dragon as far as anyone has been able to find out that can use this ability besides Golds and Greens, and he’s for sure the only dragon who can reverse it and use it ONLY to see what Andrew sees, not to bend to his will. Instead of relying on ANdrew’s will, Yardith simply sees through his eyes and feels Andrew’s intentions. If he so deigns to follow those instructions, he’ll do it. If not, he’ll do whatever else he wants. But dragons need riders for a reason. If Andrew wasn’t sober and got on the court with Yardith the way he is when he’s high, the absolute best we could hope for would be a playful Yardith who decides to just spit flame at anything that moves.”

“I’ve been in the air with Yardith when Andrew isn’t sober.” Neil shivered slightly, wondering why Keith allowed that- insisted upon it.

“Well, that’s the thing- you’ve seen how much control Yardith has- how much common sense he can possess. He’s not totally wild- he just does whatever he wants. But the fact would still remain that Andrew couldn’t actually control him and guide him into more complicated maneuvers or to follow the drills we have or even to relay the most important directions that I might try to send him. It’s too dangerous- especially when Yardith is looking between both points of view and trying to pay attention to Andrew. If I try to force an image through to him, and Andrew is only half concentrating, it could send them both Between and they could get lost. Forever.” Dan shook her head. “I only tried it once, and Andrew ended up lost over the ocean upside down somewhere he had never been before. We were just lucky he didn’t end up sticking halfway out of a cliffside somewhere.” Everyone around the table shivered, and Neil was shocked to feel his own body respond to it. 

“But… Does no Healer know how the Felicity affects his riding? They wouldn’t have let him keep flying if they knew he couldn’t control Yardith, would they?” Neil wondered after a while, unaware that the others had started to slowly consider other conversation topics. 

“Felicity is a fairly new drug they’re trying, and Andrew is the first Dragon Rider that’s ever been on it. I think the Harper Hall was hoping to prevent Yardith from ever getting off the ground in the first place, if I’m honest, since they started making Andrew take it just before they started to drill on recognition points… but Yardith never showed any real sign of not being able to do anything we assigned the other dragons. And Andrew has always been a little volatile but capable of completing all his tasks. There was no reason to think he couldn’t do it so they just assumed that he could. The only way we found out was by accidentally sending him so far Between we couldn’t find them that one time. Once we found out, we tried to think of a way to get him off of it, but as soon as we brought up taking him off, there were Harpers all over the place trying to figure out if he wasn’t taking his medicine and why, saying that if he ever got off before they agreed to it and evaluated him properly, they would make sure to find a way to lock up him and his dragon.” Dan shook her head.

“You can’t lock up a dragon.” 

“And dragonmen can’t abuse their power and go around killing men however they see fit, like Andrew would have. Even if he is crazy, I think the Harpers mean to make an example out of Andrew, to show people that dragon riders can and will be held accountable for their actions.” Dan shook her head. Neil frowned, and looked around the table.

“They’re going to get someone killed…” Neil murmured, though it was more to himself than to anyone at the table. All he could think about right now was all the things Andrew had said to him up on Fox Rocks and the secrets he shared with Kevin. The Felicity was hurting Andrew so much… but it was also keeping him from fully understanding that all the things he imagined were ‘his’ were slipping through his fingers. It was putting him in danger… but it was taking away the one real threat to the purpose he had in life as well as allowing him to remain as close as possible to it. If a dragon man couldn’t even fly his own dragon- couldn’t bond with him- then what good was he? And to think that Yardith was alone all this time? Neil didn’t even want to imagine what that was like, though he did so vividly recall the story about how Ardanth refused to allow Yardith to go Between and realized at least partially HOW.

It didn't take long to clean up their dinner mess and they met Andrew's group in the hallway. Andrew looked on top of the world as usual, but Kevin's expression was tense. Tonight was Kevin's first season game since his injury and his debut as a leg-brace-wearing Fox striker. Kevin had to shine tonight if he honestly wanted to make a comeback. How he was supposed to do that with his reinforced riding straps, shredded legs under his riding leathers, and a Wing like the Foxes as backup, Neil didn't know. 

The Weyr Bowl had turned into a madhouse sometime between morning practice and now. The landing heights where most dragons lazed in the sun and safely touched ground after a long flight were crammed and Hold Guards were everywhere, directing fans and watching for drunken foolery. Every gate was open and the guards manning them wielded long swords as well as shorter, more actually useful curved daggers to deter any actual criminals. A line of Guard wagons with bars lining the back and two Healer’s carts with tables lined with first aide equipment were near the gates, and the guards kept the path clear near them for good measure. 

Two guards stood outside their door, and after a cursory check to make sure none of them were carrying anything illegal into the Weyr that would affect their game, they were allowed into their locker room. Neil found it a bit funny that despite the caution, they still had to unlock the door themselves, but he kept his mouth shut at that just as he and the rest of the team kept their mouths shut at the fact that the guards didn’t find any blades on Andrew even if they all knew he had at least three on his person at any given time. Wymack was in the lounge and immediately directed them to the changing room. Neil was halfway through the men's door when Kevin snagged his collar and hauled him down the hall to the back door. Absently, Neil wondered what it was with Kevin and Andrew to never just tell him to follow them. In retrospect it was probably because Neil wouldn't have followed either of them. 

Kevin didn't seem to notice Neil's hesitation as he pulled the door open and pushed Neil ahead of him through it. Neil stumbled a step, caught his balance a second later, and went to the inner court. The Foxhole Court was the second actual weyr stadium he'd been in, the first being Edgar Allen's Ravens' Nest, but he'd never been in one on a game night. It was one thing to admire the dizzyingly high seats, and another thing entirely when those seats were full. Not all of the sixty-five thousand seats were taken yet, but at least three-quarters were. The stadium rumbled with the sounds of tens of thousands of feet on metal and stone. The crowd's yelling and laughing were deafening, and this was before the crowd had a reason to be loud. Neil wondered what they would sound like after the Foxes scored. Maybe it'd be loud enough to crack his bones inside him. 

\--Can sound really be that loud?-- asked Tenith, and Neil glanced around to find her. She was standing with the other young dragons of his hatching, her eyes whirling a fascinated green as she caught his attention. He reassured her that even though he bet sound COULD get that loud, these people were not really going to be able to do it. It just sounded like they could. Curiosity sated, she seemed to smirk at him and tilted her chin back, giving him a bugle as if to say that if there was no danger, she wanted to add her own voice to the chaotic melody.

It didn't take anyone long to notice Neil and Kevin in the inner court after that. When the closest section went crazy, the sound ignited a small wave up the stands. Orange Notes, the Weyr's collection of Harper apprentices, was still filing into their section, but they reacted to the excitement unquestioningly. The drumline beat out a ferocious rhythm and a couple trumpets started the school fight song. A few seconds later the Weyr spectators joined in, yelling the words at one another and the empty court. 

"Don't waste their time tonight," Kevin said at his ear. "They came to see you play, so give them something to believe in." 

"They're not here for me," Neil said. "I can't even fly yet. They're here to see the famous Kevin Day." 

Kevin put a hand to Neil's shoulder blade and gave him a small push. "Change out." 

Neil took one last peek up at the stands, then Tenith, before heading back to the locker room. Wymack called them to the foyer when they had all their gear on and passed around the Breckenridge Jackals' roster. Matt took one look at the starting line-up and made a face. "Hey, Seth. Looks like Gorilla's back." 

"Shit." Seth held out his hand in a demand for the paper. 

"At least they're taking us seriously from the start," Aaron said. 

"Easy for defense to say." Allison took the roster from Matt and gave it to Seth. 

"Gorilla?" Neil asked, refraining from just asking the dragons who he was. 

"Number 16, Hawking," Nicky said, immediately causing Neil to stiffen a bit and wish he had asked the dragons after all. "Dragonriders are usually numbered in Exy by your rank on your wing. So he's the 16th best flyer, but we don't know how they rank, really. He could be the 16th best in the whole weyr, including queens, weyrleader, and wingleaders. All we know is that he's Hawking, AKA Gorilla. Six and a half feet tall and three hundred pounds of pure douchebaggery, and his dragon isn't much better. You'll know them when you see them, trust me. He looks like one of those ancient football players that got lost on his way to the field, and his dragons bowlegged and way too muscular- if you ever saw a gorilla from the Old World, the only difference is that he's bronze." 

"He's also dumb as a brick no matter how big and bad his dragon is, so he sat out of championships last year on academic probation," Matt said. "It's kind of a yearly ritual for him, seeing as the Harper's won't pass him on his classes unless he really deserves it." 

"He's defense," Dan said, looking at Neil, "and he loves body-checks. We won't let anyone get between him and the wall. He'll break every bone in your body if you give him the chance." 

"Don't worry, though," Matt said. "He'll probably be too busy killing Kevin and Seth to notice you." 

"But why are you telling me? I'm not going to be the one fighting him- flying. My green can't even raise her wings fully, let alone fly," Neil said, glancing back and forth at them, wondering if maybe he had missed something important.

"All you need to do is watch. And think about what you would do if you were in our place," Kevin spoke up, moving beside Neil.

"Oh my. What a test," grinned Andrew, though Neil noticed he wasn't looking at anyone in particular. Instead, he was staring down at his shoes so intensely that Neil was tempted to ignore him. He looked back at Kevin again, frowning. 

"That's your goal today. I don't expect you to shirk your ground duties either. Pay attention. Soon enough you're going to be in the sky, too. I don't need you breaking your neck. You need to be able to do this as easily as a Queen rides her dragon." Kevin said quietly to him. Neil didn't point out that even queens had to learn over the course of three years for her dragon to become mature enough to lead a whole Weyr, and a year on average just to fly while carrying her rider and at least three full bags of firestone. He was sure Kevin knew that. 

"Are you done wasting my oxygen yet?" Wymack asked, looking irritatedly at Kevin. "Let's get moving. We're on home court for warm-up. We're doing simple relay rounds first, Andrew and Renee twice through each. Andrew, keep Yardith on our side. You let a single wingtip onto the Jackals' side of the court when they're warming up and I won't start you until second half." Neil looked at Andrew again at that. 

Andrew said nothing but still stared at his boots, a soft tapping of metal against stone the only sign he heard. He looked fine so far, but maybe they were still too far out from first serve for him to be feeling any withdrawal. Wymack kept going. "Starters down the line: Kevin, Seth, Matt, Aaron, Andrew, Dan. I've got subs each half, so you'll get a swap save the queen, the last defenders, and Kevin. Kevin, you're out if your legs so much as itch. Keep your braces on and stay in proper form. Don't be stupid tonight." 

"It's been eight months," Kevin said. 

"Don't risk it your first game back. You still have to fly Thread later this year," Abby said. Kevin grimaced but gave up arguing. That was good enough for Wymack and Abby, so they sent the Foxes scrambling for their helmets and straps. They lined up at the door in order of playing position, with Dan out of place at the front as their Queen. She stood by Matt, the most senior Bronze after the weyrleader. 

Wymack had his cute little firelizard by his side that linked him to the announcer's booth. When he got the okay, he led his team out to the benches. Neil's helmet muffled some of the crowd's screaming, but his ears were still ringing when he followed the Foxes onto the court. Neil knew the Fox team was the smallest Weyr on all Pern and Breckenridge one of the largest, but he hadn't expected the difference to feel so vast. The tan-and-black Jackals' riding leathers and riding straps seemed crowded on their half both on the court and up in the sky as they started to mount their dragons, making the Foxes look pathetic and small on theirs. 

Beside him, Neil felt Tenith riled and egged on to spread her wings and hiss a playfully threatening challenge at the much bigger dragons across the field. All of the younger hatchling seemed to be happy to join in, and their riders were encouraged as well. Neil noticed that among the many young dragons there were four small golds, and he realized that they must have all come from one of the clutches Lynth had since coming to Palmetto, making her not the only queen, but certainly the only senior queen, and all the rest were her offspring. It suddenly made sense why they said she was the only one- she was the only there would ever be, as long as she lived there, and Dan would always be head weyrwoman. 

The youngest rider was the cute blond girl from his own clutch- the one who was standing a bit off to the side to finish up one last conversation with the Holder cheer leaders. Still, she tossed wide eyed glances over her shoulder ever so often, and blushed hard when her queen raised her own wings to add her hisses to the group. Neil tried not to feel intimidated, especially when he noticed the little queen so bravely playing along. 

When that failed, he put everything he had into warm-up drills instead, knowing full well he wouldn't be riding a dragon but still joining the other too young Weyrlings on the ground exercising and pretending to be important. It was much too awkward when he realized that they all had someone to talk to and pair with easily, and hardly any one of them knew him. But that was what happened when the first wing isolated him and Kevin insisted on taking up all his free time with training. Really, the only time Neil ever saw the other young dragons from his clutch was when they had the mandatory harper classes about taking care of their dragons and flaming Thread. And then, everyone was so concerned with their dragon that they didn't have time to make friends if they wanted to properly learn how to take care of their loved ones. 

The twenty minutes flew by faster than he thought they would and they were shepherded off the court by the referees: the Jackals out the north door, the Foxes out the south. The announcer's voice just barely carried over the crowd's racket through the same speaker system the Harper's at the club in Columbus, but as it got closer to game time someone thought to turn up his volume. By the time he called the team's rosters his voice was echoing off the court walls. 

As their names and dragons were called, the Foxes lifted their helmets in silent salute, then dawned them ceremoniously before mounting up. The crowd roared in response to each one, and Orange Notes' drumline pounded away on whatever their sticks could reach. 

"For the Breckenridge Jackals," the announcer said, and went through the list of players slotted to play tonight. The Jackals' names were greeted with mixed boos and polite applause from the Foxes' side, but there were large sections of Jackal fans in attendance on the north side of the stadium. Their pep band played the fight song as soon as the last name was called, but Orange Notes promptly drowned them out with Palmetto's song. 

The six referees (one for the ground, one for the center of the mid air court, and four for each mid air corner) for the game opened the doors on either side of the court and entered. At their beckon, Dan and the opposing captain joined them at the ground half-court for an obligatory handshake and the coin toss. The head referee signaled first serve for the Jackals and home court for the Foxes. Three referees followed each captain off and arranged themselves along the wall near the court lines. 

Wymack made shooing motions at his starting line. "Get out there and make them sorry they showed up tonight. I want my subs at the wall cheering them on, but if you trip up a referee I will ground you. Let's go." Dan led her wing to the door and thumped the wall when they were ready. The announcer called off the Foxes' starting line-up from offense to defense. 

Kevin was the first onto the court, and the entire stadium had a fit at the sight of him. It didn't matter what weyr the fans were here to support; Kevin was in riding leathers after an eight-month absence. All predictions said he'd never fly again, but he carried a helmet with him to half-court like he'd always known he would return. Seth followed Kevin on and joined him at the half-court line in midair, holding onto his brown’s riding straps as he leaned over and waved at the cheering crowd. Dan was the Foxes' Queen and stood halfway between half-court and first-fourth, holding her position apart from the team as the most valuable. Matt and Aaron spaced themselves out on first-fourth, lower in the sky and farther back in space, and Andrew was the last one in place, casually leaning back in his saddle as Yardith span lazy loops and flips in his cube of aerial space. Only once he had reached the perfect height did she turn and mount her dragon, gracefully leaning forward and locking her shoes into place before she commanded Lynth up into the air. The dragon gave a delighted bugel, then leapt into the air, her broad wings pounding against the air and carrying them up to the Star Stones, a ledge that held a viewing port equipped with stones perfectly aligned to view the Red Star when Thread was due to fall that year. Once there, she looped around, flying one full circuit of her team before lowering herself back down and hovering at the perfect height. One final bugel signaled her ready.

Breckenridge filed on next. 

Nicky pointed to Gorilla as soon as the player made his entrance, but Neil didn't need any help spotting him. “You should remember to thank Seth and Kevin later for getting crushed in your stead.” Nicky said from beside Neil. On his other side, Tenith narrowed her second eyelids and lowered her head, wings half spread in a half challenging pose, clearly ready to attack any second. Neil made no move to stop her, but he also didn’t order her to attack just yet either.

He might have been joking, or this could have been his awkward attempt at an apology, but Neil nodded anyway. Anyone who could make Matt look delicate was not someone Neil wanted to face on the court. Nicky looked down and across the field at Neil. “Hey…” he said, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. “We haven't really had a chance to talk after… Well. I wanted to say sorry, but I kept chickening out. And I mean, Sorry. Not just I’m sorry for how you feel or sorry for what you thought I did. I was wrong- real wrong. I… There’s no real excuse, and I’m not about to try to just say I wasn’t thinking. I was really hoping for some kinda chance to get in your pants that night. It was dead wrong of me, though. I was being a dick, really. But you’re my friend- I don’t wanna ruin that. I hope I can make it right with you, one day. Are we okay?” 

"I don't know if we ever will be," Neil said, finally turning his attention back towards the sky. 

Nicky weighed that for a minute, then sighed and nodded before finally turning his own attention back towards the referees who were rising into the sky to take their places, their white and black riding leathers and stripes of hide-safe paint covering their dragon’s wings and tails making them easily stand out. The referees slammed the glass doors with a resounding bang and bolted them shut. High in the air, the dragons were all facing off, too high for their voices to filter down to the watching fans below. Neil didn't know what they were saying to each other now as they waited for the game to start, but he doubted it was pleasant seeing as how Seth was flipping off one of the Jackals' strikers. Seth turned the gesture on Kevin a couple seconds later. 

"Oh Lord," Abby said at Neil's back. "They could at least pretend to get along when playing against this team." 

"Not a chance!" Nicky said, attempting at his usual cheer as if he hoped that she hadn’t heard him. "Ten bucks says they hit each other inside fifteen minutes." 

"I'm not taking that," Allison said. 

"You could try to be optimistic about the first game of the season," Renee said. 

"Maybe you saw who we're up against," Nicky said, pointing at the opposing team. "You really think optimism is going to help us?" 

"I think it can't hurt," Renee said with a smile. 

Allison started to say something, but the a warning trumpet drowned her out. If Neil looked up he could almost see the scoreboard where it hung from the talons of the referee dragon over the dead center of the aerial court. A clock, the score, and ground crew statistics were displayed on all four sides of the glass wall. Right now the board would be counting down the last minute to game start, but Neil didn't strain to see. He didn't want to take his eyes off the court. 

He pressed his gloved hands to the soft hide of his beloved Tennith and leaned forward, trying to see all of it at once. His heart pounded in his chest, sending shuddery heat through every inch of his body. He held his breath waiting for first serve, which would be when one huge bucket of game Thread would be dropped from high in the sky and each team had to fight to flame as much of it as they could, as well as gather as much of it in newly designed Threadproof containers before tossing or dropping it over towards the other team’s queen or unprotected ground in hopes of letting it fall on unprotected ground to ‘burrow’. 

The buzzer went off again, and the game began. As soon as the bucket was tipped, Breckenridge's dealer flicked his container up and propelled a huge ball of Thread into the air before his Wing Second flickered from Between above him and opened his mouth to flame the entire thing in one go. The distinctive flutter of the falling menace had Jackals and Foxes shifting wing formation and rushing forward to find their marks and places on the court. The nerves Neil felt earlier evaporated under the wild weight of the crowd's enthusiasm and Tennith’s lazer sharp focus on the suddenly fluttering dark silver Thread.

The screams of the two battling wings jarred against Neil’s skin and the stamping of a hundred thousand feet beat in time to his pulse. Something about it felt… Too real…? He took a deep breath, but couldn’t keep himself from staring at the dragons as if he could somehow get up into the sky with them! Remembering what Kevin said his goal for that game was, Neil knew he wouldn’t have too much of a problem imagining what it was he could do in such a situation- he could already practically FEEL every dragon in the sky already! 

Two sleek dragon bodies crashed on the court as the game started rough from the get-go. There was a roar of approval from the rafters. There was another large clump falling much too quickly down on the Fox’s court side near the subs and Neil gasped out, wondering who could possibly be close enough to get it. Dan’s Lynth twisted her long neck and caught it before it got too far, though, then whipped around and bugelled towards Seth. Her momentum was sending her huge colden mass careening down towards the stands and the Jackal’s Queen slammed into her a second later. 

Dragons and their riders were forbidden from engaging in deadly combat, but since these dragons were basically drilling in case of Thread and had their dragons wearing special gloves to cover their relentlessly sharp talons, it had been rules safe enough. The only time a dragon got seriously injured during an Exy game was when they disappeared Between without proper coordinates or accidentally got caught in the crossfire of another dragon. Still, no matter how safe it was, the air itself shuddered under the impact of their collision, and Neil felt himself reel as Lynth beat her wings furiously, standing almost vertical in the sir as she struggled to push the other queen off. Neil, somehow feeling trapped in the moment, swore he could see exactly what the problem was! Lynth’s foreleg was stuck in the crook of the other dragon’s wing, and their tails were entangled at an awkward angle since Lynth had half turned around. It was painful, and even with the gloves on, Lynth was sure to wear through the wing if the other queen beat much harder. Neil wondered why she didn’t just pull her arm up and out, and straighten her tail as she flew upwards- it would detangle them so easily! A moment later when Lynth did just that, Neil caught his breath. 

Dan cried out in triumph and twisted Lynth around midair, grabbing onto the other queen’s hind leg and twisting to practically throw her aside to get back into the game. Neil could swear he could FEEL the strain of Lynth’s powerful arms- the heavy beating of her wings as she struggled to bare one down faster and harder than the other to facilitate the turn! Delighted, he blinued away the moment and raised his voice alongside the other hatchlings and subs as they pounded on the glass wall in support. 

Neil raked his gaze along the sky, past the Jackal striker that was struggling with Aaron as silver rained down around them. Aaron and Matt were pushing the Jackal strikers vertically up the court away from the Queen, but they didn't want to leave too much empty space between them and Andrew to fill up with Thread that fell unchecked while they were engaging. Andrew and Yardith floated alone in the invisible box marking the Queen's defender territory, watching the game unfold in front of them. Ever so often, Yardith spun on one wingtip in a circle, mocking the Jackals' efforts with that carefree aerobatic. Another patch of Thread suddenly broke apart further down the court, and Neil turned his attention back to it. 

Aaron was the first to it this time, and he flamed as much as he could high over Seth's head. Seth and Gorilla raced each other up the court to catch the rest of it, determined to rack up the points. Dono caught the most of it with Seth’s guidance it but couldn't hold his flame it for long since Seth forgot to feed him enough firestone. Irritated, the smaller brown reared his head back, mouth agape while Seth struggled to fish out a large enough rock for him. He carried that position only half a wing stroke before Gorilla’s heavy bronze took a swipe at his wing with a long, hevy whip of a tail. It didn't look like much of a strike, but it sent Seth's Dono off course so bad that he almost looked like he was plummeting. Neil felt how tangled the wings were, though, and his heart felt like it was racing to get up his throat as the sensation of falling overwhelmed him. Desperately, Neil wished Dono could untangle his stunned wings and get himself upright again. If only he could twist enough to catch the wind under his wings-- THERE! Neil gasped out in relief yet again, eyes wide as they watched Dono’s wings snap out. It was painful, and Neil felt his own shoulders work against the pain but he was flying, at least! 

Gorilla and his bronze caught the rest of the fluttering Thread in their container as it started to catch in the wind and turned almost wing-over-tail to allow the heavy bronze to heave it all the way down the court, spreading it out in a wide arch that caught the Foxes off guard. A clump of it tangled up just a few inches to the right of the Queen defender’s box and Andrew watched it flutter away for the ground craw to chase after. Yardith didn’t even turn his head to peer at it. 

\-- Real Thread would not fall like this, young one. Don’t be fooled by these games-- Yardith’s lazy voice echoed in Neil’s mind, but he couldn’t tell if it had been aimed at him or Tenith- or just at all of the young dragonlings watching in rapt attention.

One of the Jackal strikers went Between to get behind Matt and dived for it, a container full of potent Thread clutched in his green’s claws. Yardith stopped spinning so idly and shifted to reorient himself at the threat, readying himself just in time. The green took a fast toss in an attempt to get the Thread past the defender and Yardith opened his mouth to bellow out a loud, long gout of flame to burn it forcefully away as he beat his wings out at the same time. What wasn’t burned to little more than ash was sent billowing away on the currents from his heavy wings, sending it right back up to the middle of the court. The Jackal green tried to catch it, but it was going faster than he anticipated and his flame was just shy of catching all of it. 

Matt stole the next conveniently placed Thread from him. He bowled the bronze over with sheer force of speed in response, and the bronze Marthe went rolling away midair to avoid damage. Dan pumped her fist in the air and yelled in anger as she scrambled to get Lynth upright again after yet another attack before turning the beautiful gold back around to turn offensive against the Jackle’s queen and chase her on her own side of the court. Another Jackal blue already had another sack full of the dangerous silver demon and was twisting and turning through any wings and tails in his way, aiming toward the now vacated Queen’s home court, though. 

\-- Leave her, Lynth! Get back to your own side!!-- Neil called out, shocked at how forecul his own mental voice was- but even more shocked that it sounded an awful lot like Tenith-- and double that when Lynth actually jerked her wedge shaped head back towards her court. Dan made a startled cry, but Lynth had already spread her wings forward and out, halting her forward momentum, then flipped vertically over her own tail before righting herself and pushing powerfully in one of the most graceful maneuvers Neil had ever seen in his life.

"Atta girl," Abby said. "You've got him." 

Dan couldn't catch up to him in time to stop him from dropping the threat, but she didn't slow Lynth down once she realized what was going on. She had Lynth slowly come up behind him, spewing flame just under him to force his dragon up and catch any Thread that threatened to fall just in case. Once she was close enough, she slammed her head and neck into the base of his tail hard enough to send blue rider and dragon both sprawling. Jackal fans roared in outrage, demanding a card for that trick, but the referees didn't move. 

Body-checks were only legal when played by or against players who were carrying the Thread, but allowances were made for hits that happened in the first two seconds after the Thread left a playerDragon's bag. Officials knew sometimes athletes were simply going too fast to stop in time. It allowed a loophole for spiteful collisions like Dan's, but that only made the game more fun for the fans. 

Aaron’s Ardanth was just small enough he could get duck under his striker's arm. He intercepted the long trail of Thread just behind him in an impossible move and kept spinning back to face home court. He passed the now full bag of Thread to Andrew without slowing and was back on his mark a heartbeat later. Andrew gathered the bag as Yardith flipped dangerously on his side to avoid a burst of flame from a nearby bronze before flickering Between and popping out just above the Jackal’s Queen. Andrew loosened the straps of the bag and tossed it over, making sure to spread it out as far and as wide as he could before flickering out once more. The queen roared and doubled over herself to flame the sudden threat as two bronzes came to her aid just as Yardith flickered back into existence in his own box, and fell back into the fray.

"Move it, Foxes!" Wymack roared, making Neil jump as he was suddenly aware that he wasn’t flying high in the sky with Yardith, relishing in the feel of the sudden action- feeling the racing of wind past his wings or the thrill of interest from Andrew at his back. Shaken, he blinked and looked around himself. What in the world was going on?

\-- I feel it as well… but this isn’t bad.-- Tenith said, though Neil got the distinct impression that she wasn’t too sure. Mentally, he offered her caresses to ease her worry as he tried not to suddenly think about Andrew staring down at his shoes, muttering about how interesting a test SOMETHING was. It couldn’t be THIS, could it? But Kevin...

"Let's go, Foxes, let's go!" the holder girls called out further down, the pretty blond queen standing at the front, cheeks bright pink as her eyes followed Ardanth. The crowd picked it up and echoed the chant back to the cheerleaders. The other subs joined in, but Neil was numbed into silence by the speed and skill of the game- the flight of the dragons. He'd watched his future wingmates fall apart to in-fighting all summer long, but now he finally saw them as a whole. As much as the Foxes disliked each other at times, they disliked their opponents more. They were still too fractured to be truly great, but they were good enough to give him chills. Neil finally understood how the Foxes made it to third place last fall and scored a spot in championships. 

Unfortunately, Breckenridge was better. Twelve minutes into the game they finally broke the Foxes' defense line. A Jackal brown caught a clump of wild Thread and carried it right into Aaron. Ardanth was bulled over, giving the striker a straight path to the Queen, and all of the Jackals crushed forward inside the first-fourth line. The striker got dangerously close to Lynth before taking a shot. Yardith snapped it right back at him, mouth agape and glowing deeply in the threat of flaming right at his face to scare him off. 

A Jackal blue that had been rather aggressive throughout the whole game caught the next clump of Thread, and Matt was a second too slow to stop him from aiming for the goal. Andrew deflected that shot with an opened mouth yell as Yardith roared out a wall of flame as well, but the Jackals were pressed too close for him to clear all of the hidden patches. He aimed high with his flame, but Gorilla was close enough and tall enough to breathe a heavy gout that stopped it midway while Thread rained down to Lynth, too much for her to catch all at once. 

"Get it out of there!" Wymack yelled at the glass wall. Gorilla knocked aside two Foxes as soon as they flickered from Between to aide her like they were nothing and beat his wings hard to for the chance to do the same to Lynth. Matt flickered from Between on Garthe like and threw himself into Gorilla like his life depended on it, taking them both out. Matt's unguarded Green striker caught a rogue clump and tossed it out past the small battle, and the ground flared up red behind Lynth, the bioluminescent moss rolled out just for the game signifying a growing burrow. 

Breckenridge's fans went crazy as the trumpet sounded first point. Wymack swore viciously and turned in an angry circle, looking for but not finding something to vent his anger on. 

"Nice try, Foxes!" Renee called, clapping. The Jackals made a show of standing their dragons on their tails vertically in the air, wings beating hard while their tails waved out beneath them in congratulations as they slowly regained their formation. Gorilla was the last to go where he and Matt were still detangling their dragons, and he made a point to hover the beast just in front of Yardithl to say something to Andrew. Whatever it was, Andrew didn't seem impressed. He held Yardith in a near impossibly still hover, rested his elbows across the back ridge nearest the saddle, and perched his chin on his upturned hands. Gorilla waved a hand at him in dismissal and his dragon wheeled across court. Dan swung past Matt to give him and Marthe a quick once over. 

They almost made it to their starting spots without incident, but then Kevin's marked blue defensive opponent decided to have his dragon shove a shoulder into K’holinth on his way by. Kevin growled and K’holinth bucked back at him almost hard enough to knock the rider over, making him grab for his straps. The Jackal backliner spun around in his saddle to say something, and Seth gestured expansively as he joined in, his Dono easily winging over. Kevin ignored the Jackal to say something to Seth, and Seth answered by throwing all his weight into the command for Dono to veer forward to try to attack him- not at K’holinth, which would have been bad enough- but at him, the rider, who could not live if a dragon were to attack him with full force. 

"I win," Nicky said. "It's only thirteen minutes." 

"No one took your bet," Abby said, sounding weary as she watched Kevin and Seth fight. 

"Don't you bet on these retards," Wymack said. Dan caught up with the two on Lynth and had her dragon shove them roughly apart with her larger mass. She veered around and leaned over to stretch her finger out as far as she could as if to wag it in Seth's face as she chewed him out, then whipped around and did the same to Kevin while Lynth snapped and growled at their dragons. K’holinth and Dono finally spread out on half-court to take their spots again and the referees by the edges of the three dimensional field waited to see if they needed to intervene, then decided Dan had handled it appropriately and let it go. 

The game commenced as the referees had the slightly younger riders swoop from above and drop a whole new rain of Thread down on the waiting wings. It started again with another Breckenridge serve, but the Foxes were fired up and angry from losing the first point. Kevin seemed to take that personally, and he flew K’holinth with a vengeance. As soon as Dan gave them the order, he had his backliner mark wheeling saddle over tail, his rider hanging precariously from his riding straps and flew up the court unguarded for a perfect point on goal with a full bag of writhing Thread to drop down. The glows went red and the crowd surged to its feet at the Foxes' back. 

Neil couldn't hear his own triumphant yell over the sound of the excited students, but he could tell that that strange feeling was back, as if he had BEEN THERE with K’holinth and could feel each and every beat of his heart as he maneuvered through the air. Orange Notes blared the fight song and weyrfold and holders alike screamed the words like a battle cry. The fight song wasn't half-over before K’holinth and his mark were brawling, and Neil winced as he felt the seering pain of a sharp wing talon dig into the side of his neck. 

It took Marthe, Lynth, and three Jackals to tear them apart. By the time they put a safe distance between the two, the referees were there. The yellow flag went to the Jackal for throwing the first punch, and the crowd cheered. The Jackal fans booed, but their anger was drowned out by the home crowd. When the teams were set up in starting spot, the referees left. 

Dan called for the Thread to fall to get the game moving. They were twenty minutes in when Gorilla crushed Seth’s Dono up against the glass wall and the huge dragons tumbled and crashed into the ground. Fans roared with hatred and excitement as Gorilla forced his bronze to regain footing a moment later and twist to launch himself back into the sky, beating his wings fiercely as he raced after the ball unguarded. Neil expected Seth to go after him, but Dono scrabbled ineffectually at the too smoothwall and unyielding stone ground for a second and then crumpled to the ground. Confused, Neil reached out to feel for Dono’s mind. He immediately had to sever the connection as he was bombarded with the pain, as well as Seth’s unnervingly comforting reassurances to the huge beast that it was okay and that the pain really wasn’t that bad- he didn’t have to be so afraid, everything would be fine, as soon as the healer got there and doused him with numbweed! 

Neil didn’t think he could feel it when a rider was talking with his dragon, too!

"David," Abby said, but Wymack was already running down the wall to stand opposite Seth. One of the referees crouched his dragon beside him and gestured through the wall at Seth. Wymack hit the wall to get Seth's attention. Seth painstakingly pulled his eyes away from his dragon just as Dono pushed himself onto his clearly struggling legs. Neil looked from him to the game in helpless frustration. Until Seth signaled the referees to call him out, the game was still going, which meant Kevin suddenly had two backliners riding him. It didn't take Dan long to notice K’holinth and Kevin’s predicament. She spun Lynth in a circle, wasting precious seconds and losing track of the falling Thread to find her missing striker. 

Halfway across the court from her, K’holinth got sandwiched between the Jackal backliners. He lost the clump of Thread he had been about to flame and his half empty bag of firestone but somehow kept his wings beating. "Call it, Seth!" Nicky yelled, kicking the wall with his metal boots. Seth finally lifted his helmet off his head at that, alerting the referees he was unable to continue the period. An alarm went off to stop the game. 

Marth had just flamed the last bit of thread that had fallen past the halfway mark in the air, so Matt called it to Andrew for safekeeping since he would be the one to tell the refs that they could just discount the thread the hadn’t yet reached an important altitude. They would gather it all and drop it two seconds before the buzzer would sound for the game to resume from the same positions everyone was in at the time of the stop. 

The crowd went silent to watch as Dono struggled to his feet. He stumbled sideways into the wall and leaned heavily against it, waiting to get his balance back before trying to walk, Seth helplessly raising his arms as if to support the massive beast on his own. Dan slid off her saddle and ran to help him, and Allison kept pace with him on the outside of the court, leaning back and forth to see Seth past Dono’s massive legs. Abby hurried ahead of her to the door. Wymack smacked Nicky's shoulder. "Move it." 

Nicky gave a growl that wasn’t quite of frustration he grabbed his racquet and ran after Allison to the court door. "Get some!" the green rider called out loud, and his Hemmi trumpeted back at him. 

Allison took Seth from Dan at the doorway and held him still long enough for her to meet his eyes and do something that Neil suspected was helping him calm Dono because the large dragon rumbled in surprise and his whirling eyes shifted to a more orangeish yellow rather than a panicked red as he hobbled himself towards the infirmary station while Abby started to unpack her healing bag onto the table nearby. Allison helped Seth over to the bench where a few different caldrons of numbweed were set up, and helped him into the thick gloves needed to help apply the large quantity to dragon hide. Neil watched curiously as Allison helped coax Seth out of his own shock to help his dragon, and applied to thick gell onto the dragon’s wound, mixing with the green ichor that had started to drip down and lead a path to the brown’s painful form. 

Dan gestured to Nicky to step through the door onto the court. Overhead the announcer called out the swap: "Going on for brown Dono and his rider Seth Gordon is Green Hemmi and her rider Nicky Hemmick." 

Neil wondered if he really should ask Abby about the heavy pounding of his heart in his chest or if this was all just part of Kevin’s plan. He dared to glance up, and felt his blood run cold when he noticed the bronze rider was watching him, his expression missored on K’holinth’s face somehow. 

"Ready?" Dan asked, and Neil was startled to turn and see that she was looking over at him, not Nicky, who was mounting Hemmi. 

"Ready to try," Neil said when he felt Tenith nudge his shoulder. 

"Let's do this," she said, clacking her helmet on his blank one just as she would have an intricately designed senior rider’s. “Follow Lynth and listen to Hemmi.” With that, she patted the bright green scales of the waiting dragon as she passed. They jogged across the court together while Neil struggled to calm himself and no panic. Tennith rumbled beside hin and turned her neck to urge him to lean against her for comfort. 

Neil noticed that more than a handful of young riders had taken it upon themselves to mount their dragons and sit upon them while they watched, and he climbed up carefully. At first he was worried that Tenith wasn’t strong enough, but she was as large as a young horse, and at least five times stronger. He gave her neck affectionate pats and rubbed at her ridges with nothing but admiration and pride for as long as he could before opening his mind. He had no idea HOW he did it, but he felt his connection with his beloved green grow stronger and more expansive until he could hardly remember if he was riding ATOP her or if he WAS her. 

It was curious… but he found that it didn’t much matter, as for that moment, he simply WAS. Comfortable in his mental state, Neil curiously looked out onto the field, somehow not the least bit disoriented by the way he could see all of the angles Tenith’s multifaceted eyes could see. Somehow, he knew that just moments before, he had been seeing just this same way with the other dragons as they flew high up in the skies as well. Tenith drew his attention over towards Lynth, and he was rewarded by the motherly caresses and gentle encouragement to continued- to join her. Eager, Tenith joined Lynth and Neil could suddenly feel and see everything through her as well. He watched as Dan jogged over with Hemmi and Nicky and felt the familiar motions as the weyrwoman climbed into the saddle. 

By the time Seth had finally called out, both teams were up inside first-fourth again, having flamed all of the Thread below. Lynth took a spot by her mark. Because Nicky was a mid-play substitute, his starting spot was up against the home court wall. Neil curiously stretched to see if he could hear the conversation between the two greens as they waited. 

\--Is it true?-- the Jackal dealer called over to Hemmi. --Weyrleader says you'got a one-year rookie in your wing.-- 

\--Are you kidding me?-- a blue demanded, and Neil stared up in surprise. The backliner Kevin had been fighting with all game was a female. For some reason, Neil had assumed that only Renee could ever mount a female blue- as if her strangeness was the defining factor for her dragon's characteristics and she was just SO strange that her dragon had to be unique. He knew from Harper tales that there HAD been other female blue riders, but all of the ones Neil heard about or read about in the records had been monumental in the shaping of Pern- powerful women who lead wings and fought battles for their weyrs. He had just assumed Renee was no different. Hearing this bully now, he wondered if perhaps that was another misconception, like how people thought only bronze dragons mated with queens or how greens couldn't ever lay eggs. Neither was true, just widely accepted as truth. He mentally shook himself and paid attention to what she was trying to tease him with. --A national champion on a team with an amateur? Palmetto's gotten even crazier than usual-- 

\--An amateur and a cripple, you mean-- the green said. Yardith stretched his long neck and trumpeted out a quick, sharp bark, making several dragons jump and drawing more than a few wary looks his way. Neil couldn't see Andrew's expression from behind his helmet, but he hoped Andrew was faking a smile. Their opponents would announce Andrew's sobriety in a heartbeat if it got him out of the Foxes' goal box. Neil waited, expecting the worst, but Yardithonly took two wings back into his goalkeeper's territory and waited. 

An actual trumpet sounded overhead when everyone was settled and still. Andrew lifted his gloved hand. --Hey, Pinocchio-- he said through Yardith without looking at Neil. The cheer in his voice was too mocking to be real, but Neil doubted anyone but the Foxes noticed. "Time to run. This one's for you." Andrew leaned back and steered Yardith around in a circle that Neil knew now was really more like him casually willing Yardith and the dragon agreeing to move because it was fun- and swung his filled bag of Thread with everything he had. 

Neil didn't wait to see him release it. He threw himself away from his idling mental position between Lynth and Hemmi and flew down the court as fast as he could right beside Hemmi in her mental cavern before vanishing Between past the backliners and strikers who were just starting to move. Kevin's blue mark cut across the court toward him, meaning to cut him off, but Neil was faster than she expected and he led her all the way down the court. 

The Thread split the far wall and a sudden gust of wind sent it soaring back. Neil urged Hemmi to jump to catch it before it could go over his head rather than duck it and have it come back down on her back to stain her hide an ugly silver indicating Threadscare. Hemmi’s new mark was there when the reoriented and he bounced on the air away from her, counting wing flaps instinctively as he swung his bag out of her reach. Her tail just barely missed his wingtips as she took a swing at him. He could only carry the ball ten steps and had already used six. Hemmi knew from experience she couldn't get around the blue in in four, so she twisted and passed the bag back to Dan. Her mark collided with them a second later and she went wheeling, desperate to keep from entangling talons in delicate places, wings out and wings dragging along behind for balance. 

Lynth passed the bag of Thread to K’holinth. Gorilla and his dragon noticed, but the bronze was massive and his size slowed him down. Kevin got around him and caught the ball, then twisted and threw the Thread out and up, spreading it further up court to buy the strikers breathing room. Gorilla smacked his wings against K’holinth’s in retaliation. Kevin swore and Neil saw him double over his saddle as his legs strained with pain at the force. 

The Jackal blue protecting their queen left goa boxl to flame the threatening torrent up the court at them. Marthe intercepted the flame and aimed high, wanting it to flare out and hopefully ward off the strikers again. Quickly, Neil reached out to K’holinth in an attempt to have him pay attention to the sky rather than his rider’s pain for a moment and caught him up to the fight but when he got within range he only had two wing beats left to aim and flame the choice bit of Thread baring down on Matt before Gorilla crashed into him. K’holinth hit the ground so hard he rolled. Neil forced him to remain loose to prevent injuries, urging him to tell Kevin to remain tucked against the saddle as well, knowing that the arch of the dragon’s back wouldn’t allow him to be crushed under the massive weight. Luckily, when the bronze righted himself again, only his pride was hurt, and he was leaping back into the sky again a heartbeat later.

The goalie tossed a now full bag of Thread up to Gorilla. Gorilla threw it at a waiting green on the home court side again, and the Jackal backliners chased after it to force Neil and K’holinth back down the court with Hemmi right on their wingtip. They were dragged all the way to first-fourth and Neil decided he hated their "everyone gang up on the goalie" strategy. It was frustrating watching them hammer Andrew and Yardith like this, especially from this far back. He knew he could just mentally dart over but he couldn't get into the fray if there was a chance the Foxes could take the better part of the Thread on their own, with more experience than he could input. There was a reason he wasn’t in the sky, after all, and it had nothing to do with Tenith’s maturity. 

He could only watch as the Jackals steamrolled the Foxes. 

Three shots later they scored. --You can't win against us-- the female blue backliner said to Hemmi. Neil only caught it because he was still keeping his mental ear open, like Dan had ordered him, though he was back close to Lynth, tucked up against her mental cavern and experiencing the game through her eyes.

\--You guys suck.-- the blue taunted.

\--I'd rather be a Fox than a Jackal if you win by hurting your opponents, dear girl-- Hemmi said. --You're a team of pathetic bullies.-- 

The blue shoved against Hemmi chest-to-chest so that their wings batted against each other, too in each other’s way to maintain proper altitude. --Say that again. I dare you.-- 

Neil wasn't impressed by her attitude, and neither was Hemmi. She gave the blue a bored look and pressed one wing up and over the other’s hard and fast to get leverage. --Get out of my face. You already got carded once. Start another fight and you'll be grounded the rest of the game.-- Hemmi said, and Neil rejoiced! He had suggested that one!

"Leverett!" the dealer yelled in warning. "Back off!" 

The rider of the angry blue curled her lip at Nicky in scorn, took two exaggerated flaps back, then spun her dragon on her tail and stormed off to her starting spot. The Jackals were the ones who sent the signal for Thread to fall this time as soon as everyone was ready. Neil and Hemmi couldn't go far before they caught up with Leverett and her blue again. She shoved Hemmi with her shoulder, her wing folded under protectively as she forced the green back toward half-court. 

Across the court K’holinth gained possession of a huge bag of Thread, but he lost it a second later as Gorilla knocked his wing askew and the bag slipped away. Neil didn't know if Gorilla really was hitting his bronze that hard every time or if Kevin was just afraid to make K’holinth bare down when the reverberations would go all the way through his dragon and up his legs. He wasn't sure which answer he hoped it was. He didn't want Kevin injured, but the Foxes couldn't afford for Kevin to bring his psychological damage into the sky for a game, much less a fall, even if a fall wouldn’t pit dragons against each other. 

Matt had Marthe flame a line of Thread hard and fast, using every bit of breathe he had before he ran out and passed it to Aaron. Ardanth’s only clear shot was to flame the menace all the way through to Yardith as well before turning immediately and whipping around back to his own starting position. It bought him a couple seconds to get ahead of his striker mark, and Yardith hit the rest of the Thread before another clump surprised them both. Ardanth caught it and flamed it with everything he had. 

"Neil!" Dan’s voice called to him through Lynth and he was already moving with Hemmi, following the arc of Ardanth's flame and realizing the pass was meant for her to finish off. Leverett’s blue swiped at his wing, trying to ruin his balance, and Neil grit his teeth at the twinge in Hemmi’s joints. He bore down to help her force her way through it and keep her concentration, then urged her tail around to poke at her sensitive wing joints to move out of the way. It cost Hemmi the precious second she needed to snag the very last Thread remaining, and Neil even almost overextended his mind to try to force Hemmi catch it before he felt the sharp command from Nicky to make Hemmi leave it and get back into formation. 

Leverett rammed into Hemmi then, trying to knock her over, but Neil felt Hemmi hugging her wings close as she plummeted, then whipped them out despite her still sensitive joints to rocket past and get back into formation. Dan called Neil back sharply and he retreated obediently, watching as Leverett snapped at Hemmi’s wing again, but her gloved talons couldn’t grasp. 

Neil took another mental step back to brace himself when Dan told him to take a moment to reevaluate the field before going back in. He took a deep lungul of air, felt Tenith breathing excitedly but not labored beneath him, and recentered before carefully reinserting himself. Hemmi had shifted back and gave the blue room to try to collect the falling Thread in her waiting sack, then shoulder-slammed her hard enough to knock her nearly down to the ground- her wing nearly brushing the bioluminescent moss that now coated the weyr bowl. With a grin, Nicky waved as Hemmi flamed the newly released Thread. 

"Fucking whore!" she yelled after him from far below. 

Nicky let Hemmi flame another falling stream that was scattered sporadically across his square before he handed it off to K’holinth. K’holinth fired it perfectly, seamlessly catching it where Hemmi left off only to get his wing smashed away again. Gorilla pounded past him after the rest of the Thread. 

Kevin pressed his left hand to his thigh and bent half double while he twisted in his saddle Marthe. "Get him off of me!" 

Matt didn't answer, but he heard. The next time both teams were up inside the first-fourth line, Matt dropped his striker and went after Gorilla. Marthe tossed his bag aside to free up his hands and took one powerful swing of his tail, twisting at an unnatural but nevertheless graceful aerobatic move, punching Gorilla’s bronze right under his thick chest armor hide and into his soft gut. Gorilla slumped forward a bit under the blow, temporarily too dazed to fly and having to be helped down to the ground until he could recover. Marthe rightened himself in the meantime and the buzzer called a foul. 

Gorilla needed only a second to get his breath back and then went after Marthe with a vengeance. Marthe backwinged away from his giant talons and sharp teeth, putting as many people between him and Gorilla as he could. Gorilla shoved his wing mates out of the way as he chased Marthe across the sky. As soon as Marth passed the goal, Yardith casually winged into Gorilla's path. He looked ridiculously small as he watched Gorilla bear down on him, but he stood his ground and waited in that same eerie hovering state he had adopted before, Andrew leaning casually in the saddle once more, head tilted to the side. 

Gorilla jerked his massive wedge head back and forth while his rider waved at him in a demand to move, but Andrew stayed silent and Yardith remained still. Neil held his breath, waiting for Gorilla to move Andrew with force. Andrew might be psychotic, but he and his dragon were also half Gorilla and his dragon's size. One perfect punch from Gorilla or a whip of his dragon’s tail would crush Andrew’s skull. 

Luckily the referees got there before things could escalate. Matt accepted his yellow card without argument and flashed Kevin a thumbs-up. Through the open court doors Neil could hear the crowd jeering and cheering the short fight. Matt jogged off the court once he was to let Nicky on and was greeted by the home crowd like a returning champion. Gorilla left the court through the Jackals' side a couple seconds later. Neil saw him limping through the wall when he took a moment to recenter himself and really look around again. "Marthe can hit," Neil said appraisingly. 

Dan smiled, and Neil could feel it through their mental connection. She encouraged Lynth to respond for her. --Matt’s mother's a professional boxer. She taught him a couple tricks.-- the gold rumbled, only to pause as Dan’s impression of exasperation. It was almost as if she was asking a tart 'Now what…?'

Neil followed her distraction to the court door where Wymack still waited. It was almost time for Allison to come on for Dan (A green or blue could replace a queens place but the queen had to stay on the ground within the goal box and her rider could not use her flame thrower), but Wymack had both Seth and Allison with him. 

Wymack gestured between them, leaving the choice to Dan. It only took Dan a second to catch on and she whipped around, looking for Kevin. K'holinth was hovering with Yardith inside the goal line, Kevin leaning over and holding his left leg out so Andrew could tug at his outer leathers. Andrew undid the straps and peeled it off, then hooked it under his arm so he could take off Kevin's shin guard. He left Kevin's protective under-leggings on, but unhooked the loop from Kevin's knee bracer so he could slide the black cloth to Kevin's wrist. Kevin flexed his toes and leg joints slowly, staring at his scars, then turned his leg out more to the side and flexed his toes again. 

"Kevin!" Dan said. Kevin and Andrew looked her way and followed her pointing finger to the door. Neil couldn't hear what Andrew said As he felt himself blink out of whatever strange trance he had been in to feel the dragons, but as he looked on from his own eyes below, Kevin shook his head. Andrew pushed Kevin's leathers and armor against his chest and Ardanth took a wing back. A moment laterKevin turned toward the court door. 

Dan squeezed his shoulder on his way by. As soon as Kevin was out of earshot she muttered something vicious under her breath and sent Gorilla a dirty look through the court wall. The crowd outside greeted Kevin's arrival with the same enthusiasm they'd shown Matt. He'd only flown half an hour, but for now it was good enough just to have him on the court. 

"Line up for a foul shot," Dan said as Seth and Dono took Kevin and K'holinth's place on the court. The referees left and locked them in. Foxes and Jackals moved out of the way to let Gorilla's replacement have a clear shot on goal. A trumpet gave the backliner the go-ahead. He took a couple extra seconds to weigh his options, then fired a full bag of Thread at the corner of Andrew's goal. Yardith seared the thick clump with so much force acid fluttered all the way down to the far court wall. 

Neil watched from below as Hemmi dashed down the court as fast as she could, wanting more than ever for the Foxes to win this game. He could tell she knew they couldn't, but the way the Jackals were playing was infuriating. Gorilla really had been trying to hurt Kevin's hand his first day back on the court, which was unbelievably cruel. Neil hoped Matt had bruised some ribs with that punch, even if he could feel that Hemmi didn't reciprocate the vicious prayer when he settled in beside her mentally once more a moment later. Really, it was a wonder how she chose Nicky as her rider. 

\-- He is a good man who made a foolish mistake-- she reminded him as she zoomed through the air. 

\-- His mistake hurt me. Scared me-- Neil said unyeildingly. 

\-- Yes. It did.-- she acknowledged. 

\--Aren't you going to tell me I should forgive him? I thought dragons only loved their riders.-- 

\-- It is not my place and I will not try to tell you what you should do. He was wrong, and admitted he was wrong. He wants to make it up and become friends again, but just wanting it won't make it so. -- 

\--I can't forgive him yet. Maybe ever.-- 

\-- Then that will be the price of his mistake.-- she said. Neil could feel that she was sad about that- that she loved Nicky more than life itself, but he could also feel her sadness for what her beloved rider had done. She was his most loyal defender, and in some dragon ways maybe she couldn't really fully understand what was so bad about the situation, but she understood the pain from both Nicki and Neil, and something about the fact that she could feel and yet still made no excuses made Neil feel better. He still couldn't forgive Nicky… but dragons didn't ever say anything they didn't think was true. 

Reality came crashing back to him as Hemmi whipped around and snagged the ball of Thread from the air as it came flying their way. She zoomed for the goal, making five strokes before Leverett was right on her tail. She hauled the shot at the goal that the goalkeeper just barely deflected it with a goat of strong flame. Dono dodged around his new backliner mark to catch the next small cluster, but he didn't have a clear shot since the wind decided to pick up suddenly and whip the Thread out at odd angles. He threw his head back and gathered a huge breath then, causing Hemmi to shift up in anticipation for the huge gout. 

When Dono finally let loose, though, it was straight ahead and down in such a huge burst of flame, Neil could feel it warming Hemmi's underside. the didn't have time to dwell, though, as he turned his attention above to the remaining Thread. Leverett moved as if to intercept the building Flame, but Neil didn't let her. He urged Hemmi to slam her shoulder into the blue almost hard enough to send both their riders out of their saddles flying sans dragon. The blue rider cursed as she lost her grip, and then there was nothing to stop Neil from getting to the goal if Hemmi grabbed the Thread now instead of flaming it. 

He caught the next clump and another full cluster and carried it all ten allowed strokes of his wings, calculating angles and the goalkeeper's body language as he felt Hemmi pump her powerful wings and whip through the air like a green rocket. His last swing was a half down stroke that helped tilt him forward and he put everything behind his throw, twisting his body and using his tail for balance and aim. The goal lit up red as Neil's entire cluster hit home, broken apart from the main clump just in time to avoid being completely engulfed by the queen. 

The trumpet went off overhead, and Neil wheeled around for half-court as his teammates cheered. Leverett pulled her Blue up in front in front of him. "You got lucky." 

"You're getting slow," Nicky said, forcing Neil to remember he was with Hemmi. Carefully, he extricate himself a safe distance and only looked on curiously instead of invasively. The blue rider moved as if to hit Nicky or bump their dragons but stopped before taking the swing, maybe thinking about how her arms could never reach unless she lurched her dragon forward and all she would get was a red card, ejected, and lose her place in her saddle and have to awkwardly climb the straps until she could sit properly again. 

Nicky snorted then pushed past her blue roughly and kept going. She spat obscenities at his back that he ignored. He was more interested in Seth and Dono, were landing and coming across the court now… 

Neil blinked back in his own body to watch as the duo crossed the court to give his shoulder a violent clap. Neil raised his helmet and blacked him, curious for just a moment before he realized Seth was already gone, back on To no and up in the sky. Dan whooped from high above Neil. 

"Let's do that again, Foxes!" 

Neil couldn't help Hemmi score again until Nicky came on during the second half. Two points weren't enough to earn his place on the line, even if this was some kind of strange test to see if he could influence the dragons, but it made him feel better about standing on their court. It was almost enough to ease the sting of their eventual loss to Breckenridge at seven points to nine. The season had just begun, after all, and Neil had until October to improve. No one had expressly told him, but he knew that was when the real season began and his beloved Tenith would be able to glide if not fly outright. She wouldn't be able to carry him, he didn't think, but she would be able to escape trouble and train more and that was what mattered. 

He just wished Kevin had stayed long enough to explain the test and what results Neil got, not to mention what they meant.


	11. Let's go to a Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil hated that he had to sit in a room full of inquisitors curious about his past and future, having to lie through his teeth judt to survive the day. The absolute worst thing about the whole thing would be the too-eager eyes and ears of the many Harpers sitting at the head table... or so Neil thought until he came face to face with Riko himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the time to rewrite the Kathy scene because it really didnt flow too well for me. The basic informstion is the same, but the delivery is just sliiiiiiightly different. Please forgive me. I hope this feels better.  
  
\----- Alright, guys, I just realized that I've pretty much rewritten the whole first book. We just have a little bit more to go after this! I know I'm just rewriting this thing set in a different world, but I hope it's been good so far. Please bare with me if you like the story.  
I realized in the last chapter that it might be hard for everyone to keep up with the dragons and their riders, though, so here's a helpful list!
> 
> Wymack - Wy'Rhaun  
Kevin - K'holinth  
Andrew - Yardith  
Aaron - Ardanth  
Nicky - Hemmi  
Neil - Tenith  
Dan - Lynth  
Matt - Marthe  
Renee - Ker'la  
Allison - Rey'na  
Seth - Dono  
Riko - Yamor  
Tetsuji -Ymri  
Katelyn - Reli

When Neil woke the following morning, it took a minute of groggy staring before he remembered why he was getting woken by the feisty bronze fire-lizard that belonged to Wymack. What was the little thing squeaking at him for? Neil reached up and waved him off, giving him quick but firm reassurances that he would get up and not go back to sleep. That done, he silently wished Kevin and Wymack both an early death and dragged himself to the edge of his bed. The little bronze fluttered up to the door and chittered until Neil let him out and into Matt's room next. Seth grumbled something rude across the common room where his door was wide open when Matt didn't immediately get up to quiet the squeaking. Matt's pillow muffled whatever he said in response but his tone was unfriendly. 

Neil stopped at the door back to his room to scrub sleep out of his eyes. Matt finally found his will to get up and greet the urgently creeling bronze and silenced it. Seth huffed, noisily rolled over, and started snoring again right away. Matt glowered blearily across the room at him before looking at Neil. 

He honestly looked as miserable as Neil felt. 

Wymack warned them last night they'd have an early start today, but there was no way the Foxes could start the season without a small party. Andrew's group predictably sat out of it, but Neil and his roommates had ended up hanging out in the girls' room. The upperclassmen put away most of a bottle of vodka even without Neil and Renee helping them. At the time they all thought it would be worth it. 

After getting less than an hour of sleep, Neil wasn't so sure. 

Someone pounded on their suite door a moment later and Neil went down the hall to answer it. The hall light was brighter than Neil expected, causing Neil to rub his eyes again, both to get the spots out of them and so he wouldn't have to look at Wymack. It should be impossible for Wymack to look so awake at this hour, but there he was looking completely refreshed. 

"Stop yawning and get moving," Wymack said, clapping his hands in Neil's back when he half turned, simultaneously calling the cute bronze to him. "We're on a schedule. I want everyone on the bus in five." 

Neil shut the door in his face and went to get dressed. He was still dead tired when he left his room a minute later, but his mind was waking up to survival mode and Tenith was hungry, so he had no choice. Renee gave him a tired smile and half-wave in greeting when he came back from dropping the little green at the creche. Dan stumbled over to Matt, looped her arms around his neck, and fell asleep against him almost immediately. 

Andrew's group was the last to show. Neil took one look at the outlines of the metal and leather leg braces Kevin was wearing under his trousers and instantly felt more awake. Wymack pointed at Kevin. "How the hell did they wake you up?" 

"They didn't let me sleep." Kevin sent Andrew a sour look, but Andrew ignored him. 

"Smart," Wymack said, and waved them toward the stairs. "Let's go." 

Abby was out back by the wing's many dragons, greeting them all with the scent of spicy oils and warm dragonhide. It was Neil's first time seeing them all lined up like that, since they were usually either all in motion or in practice leathers. Now, all the dragons were bathed and freshly oiled, gleaming even in the dim light just before sunrise. Their riding straps were fresh and new, each one decorated with intricate braids of bright orange silks and gossamer, streamers hanging loose. For the first time since arriving, Neil noticed that Wy'Rhaun wore a larger saddle, and had extra steps against his chest that would allow for supplies to be carried. He glanced around and noticed that Yardith and Lynth had similar saddles, too, and paused. This was a first, and he was forced to think through the implications as his still muggy mind reasoned that if they could go Between, then the only real reason they had for dressing up the dragons and waking so early was because they intended to fly naturally instead of just appearing instantly. It wasn't that far away, but flying there would still take hours. 

Andrew took one glance at Neil, then led his group all the way to the back of the line, where their dragons were waiting. Abby offered Neil a smile and moved to mount Wy'Rhaun. Matt and Dan followed behind her with Bee joining Dan a moment later up on Lynth, and Renee saddling up behind them. Neil stood still for only a moment more before Andrew leaned back in his saddle and crooked a finger at him. He knew there was no helping it, so he didn't bother hesitating any more. When he was settled, feeling strange with the seat supporting him so snugly and leaving no room to touch Andrew, even accidentally, he leaned forward as much as he could and stared at the dragon ahead of him as Wymack got settled in the wingleader's position just beside the queen. Andrew reached forward and startled Neil just enough to jump by touching his leg. There was a tense moment where Andrew snatched his hand away as if Neil had burned him just by being scared, but then he moved back in the saddle, forcing the straps to pull at Neil as well until there was sufficient room between them. He was quiet for another moment, as if testing the distance, then met Neils eyes again. "How's Tenith this morning?" He finally asked. 

It was almost too mundane a question.

"Cranky. She thinks I'm going to another party without her again." He found himself answering honestly. Andrew watched him for a moment moment before half turning in his saddle and fiddling with the rolls behind him before he produced what looked like a stack of pillows all stuffed into a tied off blanket. When he pressed it to Neil, he realized that that was exactly what it was, and that Andrew had it rolled into one of the sacks he always had Yardith wear save game day. 

"It has straps on the bottom so you can hook it to the saddle. Sleep," he commanded before he leaned back and crossed his arms. Neil realized he had a roll of his own at his back, and planned on doing the same himself. Vaguely, Neil remembered Columbia, when Andrew fell asleep against him. Now, it was so… formal. He tried not to think about how he still hadn't answered Andrew just yet, and instead bussied himself with tying the pillows off before they took off.

He heard the first dragon take off and realized he had been too distracted and missed the signal to rise. Luckily, Yardith needed no direction and instead launched himself into the air in proper form and order, allowing Neil to relax and lean forward against the pillows, seeing the dorm disappear underneath them. He was asleep before they even reached the proper altitude. 

It was almost six when they reached Raleigh Hold, home of the Master Harper. It wasn't the official major Harper Hall but since the Master Harper lived there, it was the unofficial home of the most important Harper's on all Pern. Wymack stopped at the next food joint he passed, spotting the brightly colored sign that distinguished the major establishment apart from just another cothold and let them know they could get fast and cheap dining service whenever they desired. Abby and Renee went inside to buy the wing's breakfast and klah. As soon as they left, Wymack stood in the center of their clustered dragons to face his wing. 

"All right," he said, then promptly forgot what he was saying when he got a good look at the back of the crowd. "Damn it all to hell. Hemmick! You were supposed to wake them up ten clicks ago." 

"I don't want to die," Nicky said. 

Dan tried to pass her laugh off as a cough. Wymack wasn't fooled, and the look he shot her as he stomped to the back of the group was annoyed. Dan was undeterred and grinned at Renee. Curious, Neil half-turned in his seat to watch, only momentarily shocked to see where the weyrleader was headed. Wymack motioned for Neil to hop down, reached up a strong arm to help him down even as Yardith continued to chat with K'holinth and ignored them, then pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and threw it at Andrew. Unsurprisingly, Andrew woke up as violently as always. 

Wymack put his hand out in a demand. "Give it back." Leather creaked as Andrew moved. Andrew sat up a couple seconds later with Wymack's wallet in hand. Wymack stuffed it into his pocket once more and went around the large blue to K'holinth. He pulled off his helmet and reached up to tap it against whatever part of Kevin was closest, causing a strangely echoing hollow sound as the leather clad metal banged against the metal of the stirrups holding Kevin in place. 

"Up," he said over and over, getting louder each time until he was almost shouting. "Get your ass up and moving!" 

Kevin's hand darted down as he tried to shove Wymack away. Wymack half hopped up into K'holinth's side and hooked deft fingers into the riding straps, interfering Kevin and sliding back down onto solid ground with the young rider in one fluid motion. Neil was thoroughly impressed, as Kevin was no small man, but Wymack simply stood him up and hauled into the aisle the other dragons had shuffled to create around them now. Before Kevin could fall over Wymack pushed him back, dropping him heavily against K'holinth's foreleg. Kevin slumped against the warm bronze immediately, looking for all intents and purposes like he'd nod right back off. Wymack smacked the back of his head to wake him up. 

"I hate you," Kevin said with feeling. 

"Breaking news: I don't care. This was your brilliant idea." 

Andrew leaned to one side to rest against his saddle and looked out at the large open field to one side of the restaurant. "Are we here?" 

"Close enough," Wymack said. "You know what to do." 

Andrew didn't answer, but Wymack didn't push it. He was distracted by Kevin, who was already drifting off again. Wymack gave his shoulder a rough shake. Kevin slept through it, so finally Wymack dragged him out of his new seat and sent him on laps up and down the length of the dragons. Neil watched him pass. Kevin was walking, but his eyes were barely open. 

"Morning, sunshine," Matt said with exaggerated cheer. 

"Fuck you," Kevin said. 

Dan yawned into her hand. "Glad to see you're still a morning person." 

"Fuck you too." Kevin turned at Wy'Rhuan and headed to the back of the bus. He tried to sit down again, but Wymack turned him around with a hand on his shoulder. Kevin got the hint and kept making laps. Walking kept him awake but just barely. He looked half-asleep every time he passed Neil's seat. 

"Kevin," Andrew said, moving for the first time since he'd slumped against his saddle to stare over Yardith's other side. Kevin was only halfway through his lap, but he pivoted at the sound of his name and went back. Wymack moved out of the way so Kevin could get to Andrew's dragon. Kevin dug Andrew's medicine out of his pocket and handed the bottle over. He and Wymack watched as Andrew leaned over to grab a pill, then tipped it back into his mouth and swallowed it dry. 

Neil half-expected Andrew to give the bottle back, but Andrew shifted in his saddle as he stuffed it in his own pocket. Odd, Neil thought, that Kevin would have Andrew's medicine at all. Kevin had it at Sweetie's, too. Neil wanted to ask why Kevin held onto it, but he didn't think either of them would explain. Abby and Renee were back a minute later with bags of food and trays of drinks. The Foxes munched on sausage biscuits and Dan's promised doughnuts. 

The klah helped wake them up, as did the reminder they were about to meet the highest-rated Master Harper in the nation. Dan, Matt, and Renee buzzed with excitement as their dragons rose into the skies again. It was fifteen more minutes to the two-storey building that housed the famous Masterharper Kathy. It was decorated vivid colors and wide, brilliant ledges sported balconies along the sides. All around that building were multiple smaller ones, mirroring that design but all built of sturdy, heavy stone to keep the Thread at bay. Blue seemed to crawl over every inch as Harper's hurried about their business. Wymack landed their wing by the security gate and got off Wy'Rhaun to talk to the guard. Neil watched from atop Yardith as he and the guard checked dragons, riders, and paperwork. Wymack was back on a couple minutes later with an okay for the dragons to hunt the pastures or lounge in the sun on the nearby beaches and a pile of guest badges. The outer gate squealed as it opened and Wymack led them all down to the sandy shores. He dismounted, carefully helped to get the heavy saddle off of Wy'Rhaun, then motioned for the rest to follow suit before picking back up with him so that he could hand out badges as the Foxes passed. Abby followed them back to the tall stone building, quietly chatting with Bee the whole time.

They were halfway to the building when Masterharper Kathy herself came onto the large stone patio that encircled the huge building to greet them. She looked more awake than even Wymack did. Neil hoped it was just her makeup, because that couldn't be possible or natural. "Kevin," Masterharper Kathy said, reaching for him. "It's been so long. I'm so glad you could make it today." 

"It's good to see you again," Kevin said, and smiled as he took her hand. Behind Masterharper Kathy's back, Dan feigned swooning into Matt's arms. Neil understood the mockery. In the four long months he'd known Kevin, he'd seen Kevin smile only once or twice before. Kevin's smile was a brittle and bitter thing. 

In Neil's Harper fueled mental database, he had images of Kevin smiling alongside Riko, but most of those images were mentally reconstructed from sketches and paintings made of the two after games when the pair looked more triumphant and condescending than anything. This smile was something else; this was Kevin's public face. It was meant for interviewers and fans who were better off not knowing the arrogant, ruthless side of a world-class champion. Kevin looked every inch a charming celebrity. Neil found it horribly disorienting. 

Masterharper Kathy turned her smile on the rest of the wing. The morning sunshine glinted off perfect teeth only money and prayers to gods Pern didnt have could buy. "You were amazing last night. Kevin, you have the magic touch. This wing has been doing so much better since you transferred." 

"They were already on their way up," Kevin said diplomatically. It was the first positive thing Neil had ever heard Kevin say about the Foxes. Usually Kevin only cared about their shortcomings. He listened for the lie in Kevin's tone, but Kevin was too good an actor to show Masterharper Kathy his real feelings about his weyr. "They deserve their Class I status. This year will prove it." 

"Brilliant. No doubt Weyrleader Wymack has been working his hardest to bring it up to a standard you would be proud of. Weyrleader." She smiled, moving over to give Wymack a hug. He accepted it graciously, allowing the surely unintentional insult pass as he introduced her to Abby and Bee. Neil was smarter than that. Harpers rarely told lies. 

"It really is an honor," Kathy said, distracted. She'd just spotted Neil. The look in her eyes was hungry. "Neil Josten, good morning. I suppose you've already heard the good news? By the eleventh hour last night, your name was the third-highest requested tale from Harper mouths. That puts you right after Riko and Kevin. How does it feel?" Neil's stomach bottomed out. 

"I didn't need to know that." 

"Did you talk to him?" Kathy asked Kevin, still careful. She was the reason Neil hated Harpers. 

"I didn't think we needed to talk about it," Kevin said. 

"About what?" Neil asked. 

"I want to interview you wirh the other Masrer Harpers this morning," Kathy said. Neil had to have misheard her. He stared blankly at her, waiting for the punch line. "Everyone wants to know who you are," the Masterharper said, spreading her hands in a grand gesture. "You're a mystery addition to the Fox first wing, a rookie out of a tiny town in Red Rock. Kevin says you're going to sign with the First Court after graduation, and that you already know how to fly and can navigate all coordinates on an exy field like a pro just from riding second on anyone's dragon. Such ambitions and dreams from such a humble beginning, don't you think? It's time for your debut." 

"No," Neil said. It was her turn to stare at him. Neil shook his head. "No. I'm not interested." Her smile twitched a little. She reached out as if to pat his shoulder, but Neil backed out of her reach. Abby gestured at him, silently warning him to watch his manners. Neil ignored her. 

"Don't be shy," Kathy said, interest piqued. "If you can stand in your riding leathers in front of sixty-five thousand fans in a game every Harper narrated through their new broadcasting Drummer system live, you can sit in front of a handful of harpers to answer a few harmless questions for ten minutes. This is the easy part. I'm just going to ask a couple questions about why you started playing and where you hope to go from here, that sort of thing. And if I'm being honest, this isn't really negotiable. Your fans deserve answers from you." 

"I don't have fans, and they don't want my answers," Neil said. 

"Be smart, Neil." She spoke with the air of one who'd seen far more of the world than a simple teenager had, draconian or not. Neil wanted to hit her for it. 

"You can't spend the time between bow and Threadfall running from the Hall when you're flying with Kevin Day. We want to know who you are. We need to know where you came from." 

"I said no." 

Impatience finally worked its way into her expression. "You're not looking at the big picture. This year can make the world for you. If you want to get anywhere, you need our help. Everything has fallen so perfectly into place for you. Don't let it collapse so early in the game or you'll regret it the rest of your life. Kevin, you understand, don't you? This boy came from nowhere. And yet here he is. We have to know more. The dragons even sing of him. Dragons! This has never before happened on Pernese history." 

"He'll do it," Kevin said. 

"It's not your decision," Neil said in venomous French, a special dialect used around Telgar weyr and hold brought over from the old world. When settlers first landed on Pern, most languages were officially 'forgotten' in an attempt to make one United Pernese nation that held no specific cultural barriers and allowed for an entirely new start. That had, of course, failed. Many Holds spoke the natural common Pernese while also actively practicing their more native tongues at home and Hall. Neil didn't realize what he'd done wrong until he felt Wymack's piercing stare. No one knew Neil could speak French, and he didn't have time to explain it right now. He would have to keep a grip on his languages if he wanted to keep as 'normal' as possible. He couldn't let on just how many languages he DID know, and hoped Kevin didn't make a big deal about it right now.

Neil ground his teeth and refused to return Wymack's look, even if the hairs at the back of his neck rose when Andrew turned frosty blue eyes on him as well. "I'm not going into an interrogation chamber with you." 

Kevin's smile never faltered, but his French response was cold. "You are being an idiot." 

"I can't be in the mouths of Harpers. They can't look at me and read my lies." 

"You already were," Kevin said. "You will do this today, or you and I are finished. All they want to know about are dragons and Neil Josten. I will wash my hands of you in the sky and you can struggle your way through mediocrity alone if not. You can return your court keys to the weyrleader when we get back to campus. Tenith won't need them anymore." It was like getting punched in the chest. 

"That isn't fair." 

"Did you or did you not promise me you would try?" 

"But this isn't—I don't want—" 

"Did you or didn't you?" Neil thought he'd choke on every argument and protest he didn't say. He was sure his breakfast would come back up in another second. The thought of getting on stage- because that was exactly what the interview was set upon both figuratively and literally- and letting a whole slew of Harpers get a good look at him was nauseating, but not as frightening as Kevin cutting him off. Neil only had until mid-October to fly with the Foxes, and then he'd lose Exy forever. Every time he saw a calendar he died a little on the inside, no matter what he was trying to convince Tenith or even himself. He couldn't give it up any earlier than the Raven game. He wouldn't survive. Tenith wouldn't be able to survive. 

Kevin nodded to Masterharper Kathy and switched back to English. "It's settled." 

Kathy's smile returned immediately. "Brilliant." She half sang before she motioned for them to follow and led the way toward the largest building. Kevin caught Neil's shoulder and pushed him after her. Neil twisted out of his grip and swatted at Kevin's hand. Kevin made a second grab at him, but Matt reached over Neil and shoved Kevin back. Abby hissed at them to behave, but Kevin and Matt were too busy glaring at each other to notice. With Kevin pushed back a step, Andrew was now in Neil's line of sight. Andrew tipped his head to one side as he considered Neil, and Neil made the mistake of looking at him. Apparently Andrew's drugs were already kicking in, because Andrew's smile was bright and mocking. 

"You're so stupid." 

Andrew was right, so Neil didn't waste his breath defending himself. He turned and started after Kathy. 

Dan caught up with him in a couple strides. "Neil? You don't have to do this, you know. I know it can feel like you've done something wrong and have to defend yourself, but you don't have to do this." Neil only shook his head, too angry to speak. Kathy handed them off to a couple of apprentices. One man read a list of rules regarding appropriate hall etiquette while another lead their team away. The Foxes went one way to find their seats across the room in a small viewing booth already half full of waiting Harper's and a handful of other dragon men and lots holders were already occupying as a quiet but jaunty tune was played by Harpers hoping to set the mood of the death sentence and Neil and Kevin were led another way. They went down a hall and around a corner to a dressing room. Their escort took a couple quick measurements of their bodies and disappeared. Neil's temper only worsened when he realized the dressing room was a one-room place with nowhere to hide from Kevin. No matter if Kevin had already seen him before, Neil didn't know if he could handle seeing HIMSELF and Kevin at the same time like that.

One whole wall was a vanity lined with mirrors and lights. Six stools were pulled up against the counter. An empty clothes rack stood in the middle of the room. Leave it to Harper's to make even this a production. Neil folded his arms over his chest, trying to squeeze himself hard enough to drive his scars under his skin. The aide returned to drop off clothes, promised the makeup artists would be by in ten minutes, and left again. Kevin's smile disappeared the second the door closed. He thumbed through the hangers and tossed an outfit at Neil. Neil let it land on the ground at his feet. Kevin pointed at it. "Get changed," he said. When Neil made no move to obey, Kevin said, "I'm more worried about you making a disaster of this appearance than I am about your scars. Get over yourself." Neil glared until Kevin started to change, then grabbed his clothes and turned his back on Kevin. He pulled his new shirt on over the one he was already wearing and wrestled the bottom layer out from underneath. It took a bit of work, but he managed to keep most of his skin hidden. Changing out his pants was easier, since most of the damage was on his upper half. Neil smoothed his shirt down obsessively, and then carried his discarded clothes to the counter. 

He stood as far away from Kevin as he could. "Stop acting like a child," Kevin said. 

"I shouldn't be doing this. It is literally an interrogation to find out about me." 

"Yes, you should, and you are going to make a good impression somehow." Kevin checked his reflection and tugged gently on his shirt sleeves. After a moment's consideration he undid his braces and set them aside before tugging on his pants again, testing his legs. "Follow the Masterharper's leads, but don't let her dominate. This interview is about us and our futures, not her. She is the enabler, not the star." 

"Smile and lie," Neil said to his reflection. 

"There is no reason to lie," Kevin said. "She's only going to talk about Exy and dragons. About Neil." 

"No reason to lie," Neil echoed. "Says you, who just lied to her face about how much the Foxes are worth, who told the Harper Hall,-- probably even her that... " Neil faltered, unable to say the words. He tipped his head forward and pressed his forehead to the mirror. He counted his breaths to keep from panicking, but his gut was trembling so hard it ached. He clenched his hands around the corner of the counter and willed himself to stillness. 

"Who told the her what?" Kevin asked. Neil closed his eyes. 

"Why did you tell the Harper Hall I would make Court?" 

"Because when you stop being impossible and do what I tell you to, you will." Andrew hadn't lied. The articles hadn't lied. Despite Kevin's angry words and rude impatience, Kevin believed in Neil's potential. Kevin wanted to train Tenith. He wanted to fly with them both, and he wanted to shape Neil into the star he'd once been. Kevin would never forgive Neil for vanishing on him without warning once his green could fly, and Neil hated that. As complicated as Neil's obsession with Kevin was, one truth was undeniable: he didn't want Kevin to hate him. 

"So what are you going to tell Masterharper Kathy?" Kevin asked. 

"That I hate you," Neil muttered. 

"You don't." 

"How would you know?" 

"Because if you did, Andrew would not let you anywhere near me," Kevin said. 

Neil opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Kevin. "Right. I almost forgot about your guard dog. How did you win him over, anyway?" 

"When you know what someone wants, it's easy to manipulate them. Case in point," Kevin said, gesturing from Neil to the room they were standing in. 

"I was under the impression Andrew wants nothing, besides maybe to own anything and everything once Thread falls." Kevin didn't bother to explain. 

They waited in silence until the makeup artists arrived. Kevin let them in when they knocked. He was all smiles and polite charm as the artists set to work. When the two were ready, they were escorted to a lounge to wait and chat with a few different social elites who all seemed to know and love Kevin. Neil stayed silent, standing near him but out of the way, remembering the party after Impression. Neil checked the clock on the wall and saw they were ten minutes out. He passed time looking at the questions laid out for him and avoiding conversation. They said this was just an interview. The Harper's just wanted to know more about him. Learn where Kevin was planning to go. 

Most of the questions were basic, the same sorts of questions his teammates had asked him at the beginning of summer. Another apprentice Harper came to collect Kevin when it was almost time for the show to start. Neil watched him leave, then looked back at the stage from behind the curtain. It was clear it was staged to make sure everyone had a good view of the person being interviewed in a small theatre while other Harper's sat on a small semicircle of chairs and cushions positioned at a slightly higher elevation, as if judging them from above. The spectators aside from the judges were standing or sitting around tables in their little viewing area, set out beyond the stage at ground level, already loaded with food and drinks for their entertainment. 

Neil had never been in a Harper Hall room quite like this, but understood this room was meant for oral exams and rehearsals and classes. People came here to be judged. It was stupid to call it anything else, in his opinion, but but no one asked it. Once the judging was over, there was usually an actual party or concert where the Harper's would entertain and share the latest songs and gossip and the guests could mingle with each other. Neil didn't plan to stay for that. 

At seven on the dot the Masterharper Kathy waltzed onto the stage to gentle applause. This wasn't supposed to be an actual judgement but Neil would be a tool to think it was anything as laid back as a friendly evening spent exchanging songs and dances. She stopped in the center to bow and wave at her morning crowd in the viewing booth, then turned towards the raised seats, each one filled with a representative Harper for each major Hold of the land. "Ladies and gentlemen, Holders and Crafters, good morning. I know it's a little early for most of us to be awake on a Saturday morning, but we've got a fantastic interview in store for you today. I know this will be one worth recording in our histories, for sure." She paused for a moment as the scribe sitting at the edge of the judges panned finished scribbling down the words. The formality of it all was insufferable, but the other judges seemed to think this was plenty sufficient, waiting until she got the okay to continue. 

Neil turned to try to escape while he still had the chance. Outside, Wy'Rhaun rumbled in concerned encouragement, and Neil felt a reminder that he should stay, for Tenith if nothing else. Leaving would just make them wonder more. "Let's start the morning with last night and the start of the Dragon Rider's Exy season. most of us attended, and by now those who didn't have had plenty of time to get the record account of the spectacular game" This drew a low murmuring from the judges. 

Kathy beamed as she slowly paced the front of her colleagues. "We all know that this year has potential to be the greatest Exy season we've seen yet in preparation for Threadfall. I think Pern could be the most prepared for Thread as it has ever been before. Especially in light of certain events that have to do with our beloved training game. We're going to talk a little about that today, with the help of a couple of young men who have agreed to volunteer their time and words to our beloved Harper records." 

"It's been a year since we last saw him here and nearly nine months since his last public appearance, though, so i really want to make him feel comfortable here. I really dont have to introduce him- hes so well knon. The former starting striker- wing second for the First Court, the Baltimore Wildcats, and the Edgar Allen Ravens, current starting striker and wing second for the Palmetto State University Foxes, Kevin Day!" She had started to build up, her voice taking on a singing cadence, and almost didn't make it through her introduction without breaking into song. 

At "nine months" the small watching droid standing with The foxes started to murmur among themselves, excited. No doubt they were eager to see that brave hero again. As they watched, Kevin stepped out of the wings onto the center. With the masterharper's expensive clothes on and his smile in place, Kevin looked every inch the adored idol he had tailored himself as. He took her hand as he reached half-stage, leaned in to kiss her cheek, and turned with her to face the waiting judges, ignoring the crowd and waiting for his interview to start as if nothing in the world was wrong. Kathy threw her hands up, a million-watt smile on her face as if to say that was that and her job was already done, and Kevin waved hello to the judges. Each of the judges greeted Kevin, nodding or waving until he finally lowered his arms and grinned over at the Masterharper, all smiles and politeness. 

There were two empty chairs on stage with her, one on either side of her to give her a chance to sit while she interrogated her victims. Kevin sat on the one to her right, half-turned so he could see both the Masterharper and the judges. Kathy leaned over to smile at Kevin, looking impossibly pleased with herself. Neil guessed she was already imagining her Harper's songs. "Kevin," Kathy said gently, as if she really cared. "I hope you'll forgive me when I say it's surreal to see you back here alone. I still think of you as one half of a whole, just like the Records suggest. You used to be fused at the hip with your brother, and now..." 

"At least I have room to stretch out now," Kevin said, neatly avoiding a real answer. "I might have to do so in a minute. I can't believe you expect us to be awake and presentable after last night's games. It's one thing to want an interview for the Records and another to wake his dragon for it." 

She laughed and lifted her hands. "I suppose you're right. But you clean up nice, as always." Neil wondered if this was usually how interviews went. Did she just want to catch up with Kevin? The scribe was recording the whole thing! 

"Kevin, can you tell us how you are? How K'holinth is? The last time we spoke, there was no guarantee you would fly, let alone train again. Flying thread was out of the question." One of the judges- Neil refused to think of them as anything else, even if they were just a collection of watching Harpers. They were waiting for Kevin to screw up. Eager for it. Wanted to write it down in ink, in the Records. Neil knew it would only be worse for himself. 

"I'm lucky K'holinth was so devoted to me, and we made it to Palmetto in one piece. I didn't think I would make it, honestly, but with the help of Abby, our healer, and Weyrleader Wymack, I found my place in the sky again." 

"What exactly happened?" One Harper asked.

"Where is that? Wing second?" Asked another.

Kevin grinned lightly and offered a quiet nod to the curious faces above. "I was pushing myself too much- trying to prove I was better and faster and stronger, and ended up hurt. My place right now is with my dragon, in Palmetto helping prepare the First Wing for Exy and this year's first fall. We're doing what it takes to make our island a home, and protect our people." 

"Is K'holinth really satisfied with just being wing second? He was rival to even Yamor- what will happen if he decided to fly Lynth the next time she rises? Are you prepared to rise to Weyrleader status?" 

"Master-" the Masterharper Kathy started, but Kevin reached out to half her. 

"no, it's alright. I've been wondering the same thing. The truth is, my legs are still painful and I'm still young. I know the world has been watching me, waiting to see what I'll do next, but I don't feel the need to take over anything I don't deserve. That, and, I know K'holinth is strong and wide enough to fly his best, and still understand the value of a good weyrleader. Lynth, as well. Lots of people think that it's just a matter of lust and chance to pick a mating pair during a dragons flight, but our queen knows what she's doing. She understands what's best for the Weyr, and she's made an absolutely marvelous choice over these past few years. Weyrleader Wymack has been invaluable in leading our Weyr and helping train our dragons." Kevin smiled. A wave of relief passed over everyone and Kathy gave his hand a squeeze.

Kathy took a moment then and poured them both water and set a glass down in front of them so he could reach it. "Now, Kevin, lets take a step back for a moment. If you don't mind, let's talk about last night. First, what it means, that the Dragonriders' Exy season started and you're wearing orange. Please don't take offense to this, as I mean no slight against your new team, but why did you transfer to Palmetto Weyr? I understand you went as an assistant - wing second- but once you knew you could fly again, why sign with the Foxes? I'm sure you had choices. Why would you go from the top of the ladder to the bottom?" 

"Weyrleader Wymack was friends with my mother. As I'm sure you know, she taught him how to fly, when he got his bronze Wy'Rhaun. Even after she died and Weyrleader Moriyama took me in, Weyrleader Wymack kept in touch with me." Kevin studied his lap with a removed look on his face. 

"Last December I thought I would never fly again. I was a wreck. Weyrleader Wymack was the only one I could think of turning to, and he didn't disappoint me. He and his wing took me in without hesitation, and I hope that gets highlighted in these records you're taking. I enjoy working with the foxes, and Dan is an amazing queen. Lynth is truly a beautiful gold, and what I said earlier stands. The dragon always chooses, and dragons never choose wrong." 

Kathy reached across the small space between them and clasped his closest hand. Kevin forced his gaze up from the outline of his braces beneath his riding pants to her face and smiled, even as the scribe worked away and the other Harper's murmured amongst themselves. Kathy smiled back at him and said, "I admit I expected you to return to Telgar this fall... but, regardless of where you are, it's amazing to see you back in action. 'Dragon men must fly, when Thread is in the sky'." She half sang, as if he didn't know the song, then finally let his hand go with one final squeeze.

"Isn't it kind of unfortunate that your first game back was against Breckenridge, though?" Asked one of the Harpers from up high. Neil noted he was kind of young, but had spoken up before, too. He seemed to want to stir things up with Kevin. 

" That's right, Kevin." Kathy nodded now, turning to him with brows raised at the new topic. "You took three points last night, brown Dono's rider Seth Gordon bagged two, and green Hemmi's Nicky Hemmick scored two. Your newest member of the wing was even watching happily from the sidelines- no doubt wishing his green was big enough to fly." She laughed.

"who was that? Someone new?" 

"Yes! Tell us about that new rider.!" 

"Did you do another skill test like you had Palmetto do not too long ago?" 

"that test was initiated by Dan, our weyrwoman, but I did take some of those same ideas when deciding who I thought would be a good pick. Of course,our weyrleader and weyrwoman were the primary judges on his fate, but I think our new green rider has what it takes. I believe he's strong though to stay with our team and help us fly faster, higher." Kevin nodded easily. 

"Just how new are you talking?" 

"Neil Josten Impressed green Tenith at the last hatching of Lynth's last clutch with Wy'Rhaun." Kevin declared loud and clear and it was as if the whole world went silent for just a moment before suddenly erupting with sound. Neil felt like he would be such, and clenched his fists, feeling his nails dig into his flesh and counter the nervousness with pain u til the voices died down and the Masterharper Kathy stood to raise her hands and call order. 

"Kevin, thats quite the announcement! A weyrling joining the first wing from the last clutch?! How old IS this boy? His dragon cant even fly yet! And yet he caught your eye. Let's talk about Neil Josten for a moment, shall we?" 

"Of course." 

"What were you thinking, recruiting someone as fresh as Neil?" 

"Neil is exactly what the Foxes need right now," Kevin said. "His inexperience is inconsequential. We went through a hundred small holds looking for new recruits to Impress, but our minds were pccupied. At least mine was. We needed a striker sub for this year, and we couldnt find the perfect fit in our own weyr. That made K'holinth think- if we can't find one, lets just make one. I thought maybe it was just dragon whimsy but after weeks of Searching, Neil was the one he chose. He looked down, and knew Neil was the one. He was at a gather in Red Rock hold, watching a Harper show- you know the one, I'm sure. About the history of Pern and the coming of the Red star," Kevin said. Kathy laughed and nodded.

"It's one of my favorites. I know it too well." 

"Then I'm sure you'll understand the look I saw on Neil's face when I came up to him. He was watching the grand finale, eyes just gleaming with hope as the dragons all flew across the sky. He was watching, and HOPING for dragons to come and save Pern. He had the look of someone who would do anything to climb up into the sky and fight for what he believed in. More than anything, thats what I knew I had to have. Neil was a dragon man then, he just didn't know it yet." Kevin was so eloquent, Neil felt almost dirty for being the subject of his beautiful words. If only Kevin had known that Neil wasn't staring at the dragons with a hope for all Pern, but a selfish desire for personal safety and self preservation, he was sure he wouldn't have stopped. Then again... Kevin wasn't really telling the whole truth right now, either. 

"And just like that, you knew?" 

"We knew as soon as we saw him we needed to sign him. We're just lucky we got there before anyone else did. Then again, the dragon always chooses... Testing him and making sure he had what it took was something else entirely, though. first, .heneeded to Impress. And even then, he was a little older than most, so there was no guarantee. Then we needed to see how well he took care of his dragon. How easy he was to train, how well he took to his lessons. We needed to take him to the skies. I tested Neil thoroughly to make sure he was fit. We still have a long way to go, but I have complete confidence in him." 

"You went to great lengths to get him besides just all that, too, I hear," Kathy said. "Refusing to even give the Harper Hall his name, is that right?" 

"Well, we had to make safety our top priority. His or the names of any of our latest Impressed. Our primary concern was keeping our dragonlings safe," Kevin said. "Spring was very difficult for Palmetto Weyr. Announcing him as our newest recruit for first Wing would put a target sign on Neil's back. If you recall, the Harper Hall was initially hesitant to fly blind on him, but you eventually sided with us.. you had faith in me." 

"Yes. Actually, I was one of the ones hesitant about it. I didn't know what Palmetto was up to, to tell the truth. Weyrleader Wymack is notorious for taking on especially difficult riders, and I was worried, especially after learning about you becoming his wing second. I was worried that bringing on someone so special, even the public couldn't know about him could mean he was especially dangerous. Surely, you can understand where I was coming from?" Kevin didn't answer that immediately, likely figuring out the most tactful way to respond. 

"Let me put it this way: 'Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead'. I mean no offense by that, but let's be honest. Sixteen Master Harpers, all representative of each major Weyr district are assigned to this marvelous Harper Council and one of them is a Harper who often sits at the elbow of the Weyrleader of a fiercely competitive team. My former wing. And no matter how many times we try to quell them and explain that all dragons fly to protect the whole of Pern, we can't predict the passions of everyone or how deeply their loyalty to their Weyr might lie. Even gossip shared in confidence can get out and destroy a man's life., dragon or no." It was a lesson Kevin learned the hard way, Neil knew. Harper Hall chatter led to Riko and Kevin's violent fallout, after all, no matter how innocent they seemed now. 

"So much work and effort for a single rider," Kathy said. "I can't wait to see what you make of him." 

The lounge door opened and an apprentice leaned in to motion at Neil. Honestly, the interrogation- or interview or whatever- was all so ridiculous, Neil really wanted to just walk out on the stage with his arms held high and yell for them to hurry and get the crucifiction over with already if they were going to do it.

"One minute. It's time to move." Neil got up and followed the apprentice down the hall to the wings of the stage. By the time the young woman lead him around to the curtain that opened up onto the stage, though, he wished he had never even thought the words into existence. 

"Speaking of that wonderful newly Impressed Dragonman, why don't we all take another look at him?" Kathy said. "Let's see the man who replaced Riko Moriyama at Kevin's side. Neil Josten, the newest Palmetto Fox, rider of green Tenith, please come forward. We would like to ask you a few questions.." Neil clenched his teeth, then forcibly relaxed his expression. The judges all turned expectant eyes down and over him, washing him with scrutiny and measuring him against their prejudices. Neil buried his reservations deep and crossed the stage to Kathy's chair. She stood up to shake his hand, then motioned at the cushion beside Kevin. 

Kathy poured him water and he took a moment to take a sip as he tried not to react too nervously to the various Harper's giving him welcoming pleasantries. He politely nodded and bowed back to each one once his cup was set down, then took his seat.

"Now, Neil Josten, I'm not exaggerating much when I say you're the talk of the whole of Pern, Neil. You're the young Holdless, Halless lad- not Shunned, mind you- who caught a dragon champion's eye. This kind of thing should only happen in fairy tales, don't you think? How does it feel?" 

"Undeserved," Neil said. "But the Harper Teaching Ballads tell us that Pern was created by idealists who made fairy tales come true. As Masterharper you know that better than anyone else on all Pern. I mean, we ride dragons, who breathe fire and teleport Between, and things like that only existed in children’s fairy tales back on old Earth. This IS a fairy tale. Being Searched by Bronze K’holinth was the last thing I expected when I stopped for a Gather in Red Rock." 

"Lucky for us he found you," Kathy said, easily taking the reigns of the interview. "You have a natural talent for flying, Kevin seems to think. It's a pity you got Searched so late. Imagine where you'd be today if you'd started a couple years ago, around the age when others are normally Searched. Maybe you would have been snatched up by Edgar Allen or even any of the other Original Weyrs, if Kevin's right about your potential. Why did it take you so long?" 

Neil thought of his life on the run and lied through his teeth. "Well, the original dragon riders were well into their teens when they Impressed the very first dragons- Sorca and Sean were plenty old enough to have a family of their own, after all. And the records say Harper Kendan was well into his second decade. From what everyone tells me, the dragon chooses… and I guess my dragon chose when she was good and ready. I didn’t ask for things to turn out this way.”

"If it bothers you, I'll take your spot," one harper from above called out, and sent the room into jovial laughter. Neil took the time to sip his water. 

"Neil, you seem a little hesitant, like you didnt really want to be a dragon man, and youre clearly well read. Youre even quoting ancie trecords back to the Masterharper. Usually thatsnot the case for a holdless halless boy. Did you have some sort of future lready set out for yourself?" Neil recognized the voice as the Harper kevin pointed out as the one who often sat with Telgar and tried not to cringe. 

"Because I didn't have hold or hall, or anything to my name, all I could rely on was what I knew. And in my world, I knew Thread was falling soon. And up until Palmetto dragons Searched me, I knew i was holdless, halless, and Thread would fall within the year. I just thought that maybe it would be nive to know something about the world iove before I died, so I soaked up as much knowledge as i could." 

There was a quiet buzz of conversation as this was processed. "Surely," Kathy started, leaning over. "Surely, a clever young man such as yourself could find a place to settle before then. A good holder wouldn't kick you out so near Threadfall without reason. Youre not Shunned. Your parents weren't shunned, were they?" Neil gave her a skeptical look. 

"With all due respect, Masterharper, no one wants to be homeless. My mother tried to take care of me as best she could, and fosters were overwhelmed..." now, Neil glanced over at his wingmates, wondering how much of a half truth he could get away with before they called bullshit on him. "Where there were good men to take in a clever young holdless man, there wasn't enough room. Too many had already secured their places. And where there was room, there was no good man. I was still looking- I'm sure I could have found somewhere soon enough, but... I mean, I hate to keep quoting records, but this wouldn't be the first time there was a problem with holdless wondered not having a place come Threadfall. Historically, it was the Harper Hall who found them homes and helped them survive while dragons flew the skies.... I'm sure you're all already trying your best." He smiled now, even though he knew just from the looks on half the faces that this was something they had likely blissfully ignored up until now. There would be too many deaths come first Threadfall. It was sad, but it was the distraction Neil needed to get the focus off of himself. "I just still can't believe Kevin wanted me to fly with him." 

"It must be a dream come true- going from homeless to being weyrmates with Kevin Day," someone said, eagerly jumping on a chance to change the painful topic. Neil nodded now, and glanced towards Kevin. 

"Yes. Weyr life is something to get used to, but every kid dreams of dragons." 

"And if iwere you, I wouldn't mind cozying up to Kevin, if what they say about the weyr and Greens is true." 

"Would you really come between two strikers?" Kevin asked, quickly slipping in when Neil felt his fingers twitch against the armrest. 

"Is it possible?" The Masterharper asked, jumping on the continued good mood. "It's no secret there was hostility between you and the Foxes' strikers last year, Kevin. Last night made it obvious there are still problems to work through with Seth and his Brown Dono. That doesn't seem to be the case with you two." 

Neil slid Kevin a sideways look, but Kevin didn't bother correcting her. 

"Seth graduates his classes in May and you know as well as I do that once a dragonling completes the mandatory three years of training to fly and fight Thread and completes the Harper Classes to at least Journeyman adept in any field of their choosing, they’re allowed to exchange weyrs to wherever they want. We even sometimes encourage it, especially since Cross Crafting was reinstated generations ago under MasterHarper Robinton. Since Seth has already shown an interest in a couple of other weyrs, there is less a chance or need to rehabilitate his style to mine. Neil, on the other hand, is just starting out. We have all the time in the world." 

Kathy pounced on that wording immediately. "That implies you see this as a permanent gig. Do you really have no plans to return to Telgar? Does it depend on how well you adjust to playing with your leg injuries this season, or do you intend to graduate to Weyrleader or Palmetto Weyr regardless?" 

Kevin's pause rang too loudly in Neil's ears. "I would like to stay as long as Weyrleader Wymack will have me." Neil flicked Kevin another look, not liking that vague response. 

"Ahh, the Telgar Ravens must be sad to hear that," the Masterharper said. "I imagine Riko misses you." 

"We will see each other again this fall." 

"Indeed you will. They're in your district now," she edged. This was really turning into more of an interrogation now and Neil stared up at the hungry, eager eyes, seeing the scribes quill scratching feverishly on the paper in the corner. 

"Why the major change?" Someone asked.

"Dragons can go Between anywhere they want, so really Districts are only convenient to the Holds and Halls who would have to travel to watch the games. If the dragons are willing to transport their fans to and fro, I won't presume to understand Weyrleader Moriyama's motivations." 

"You mean they didn't tell you?" 

"We are all very busy. It is difficult to keep in touch." Kevin answered the outburst smoothly. 

"Well then." The Masterharper butted in with a bright smile. "I suppose that's as good an invitation as any." She stood and smiled off to the side. "I would like to call Riko Moriyama to the stage to join the interview." 

The curious Masters all looked around, their low murmurs willing the room as panic filled Neil's lungs. It was one thing to have a Harper peer down at him from yards and yards away, but another thing completely for Riko Moriyama to meet him face to face on an interview stage. He wasn't ready. TENITH wasn't ready! 

He spotted the Foxes easily as he instinctively looked around to pinpoint exits, as they were the only unmoving bodies in the small crowd of their room, their small table looking like the tiny, insignificant island of Palmetto as the sea raged around them in one of its notorious tropical storms, all the holders and Harper's and dragon men around them chattering happily and excitedly as the famous Riko was announced and anticipated. Palmetto sat blank-faced with shock. Neil looked back at Kevin's pale face. Movement in Neil's peripheral vision brought his attention back to the wings of the stage. 

The man who stepped onto the stage wore the same outfit Kevin did, save his version was black from head to toe and Neil was somehow reminded of his Impression day when all the monsters dressed similarly. When he reached for Kathy's hand, his sleeve billowed around his arm like the wings of his weyr's raven mascot. The number one tattooed on his left cheekbone told everyone in the audience who'd just walked onto the Masterharpers inquisition stage. It had been nine months since Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day stood in the same room together, nine months since Riko destroyed Kevin's legs, and now they were reunited in a moment to be immortalized in Harper record for all to read for generations and generations to follow. 

The murmuring and eager chatter of the Harpers and watching audience was loud, but not quite loud enough to drown out Kevin's soft voice at Neil's side. The words sounded like a desperate prayer, and somewhere in the back of Neil’s mind, the voice of an entirely new dragon rumbled in curious reassurance, broadcast for all to hear. 

\--K’holinth! I’ve missed you so much!!--

Without even asking, Neil knew it belonged to Riko’s Yamor.

\-----

The self-proclaimed King of Exy kissed the Masterharper of Pern's cheek in greeting as if he had known her all his life. Whatever Riko and Kathy said to each other was lost in the low rumblings and distance between them, but the harper was beaming when she leaned back. Riko took the last few steps to Kevin's chair alone and stood over him. Neil was struck by the sight of him there, looming with the judges all lined up behind him, smiling ravenously and awaiting his response. Riko was smiling, but neither Kevin nor Neil was stupid enough to think he was happy. The only look in his eyes was murder. Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this interrogation evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror. 

Only after the Harper's called order and everyone quieted down did Riko speak, dropping every bit of pageantry into his voice as he could for the records. "Kevin. It's been so long." 

There was a scuffle and crash in the viewing room. Neil didn't want to take his eyes off Riko, but it was instinctive to look. Renee was sitting sideways in Andrew's lap, one foot braced against the ground to keep him from shoving her off. She had a hand over his mouth as they both stared up at the stage. Matt had one of Andrew's wrists in both hands. Wymack had the other. The looks on the Foxes' faces ranged from horror to fury. None of them seemed to care at all what the rest of the crowd did or how they reacted to the commotion. Everyone here knew that the most important thing going on was what was up on the stage, and knowing Harpers, gossip would have it that Riko had a crazy fanboy in the crowd or some other wild but ultimately harmless tale.

Riko moved, and Neil forgot about his new weyrmates in favor of staring Riko down. Riko ignored him completely and held his hand out to Kevin in invitation. Kevin stared at it for a couple seconds, then slipped a hand into Riko's and let Riko pull him to his feet. The already biased harper judges applauded as Riko embraced Kevin, apparently oblivious to how slowly Kevin returned the hug. Neil could hardly believe the incongruous reactions between man and his dragon. Why was Yamor so unbelievably happy to see K’holinth when Riko was so angry? Why did Kevin fear Riko when his dragon seemed to have nothing but love to return to Yamor? 

Riko let go and held Kevin at arm's length. "I think you've shrunk since I last saw you. Don't they feed you down here? I always heard Western food is heavy." 

"I work it off in the sky, I guess." 

"What a miracle." There was an edge in his voice, but the Masterharper was already pouncing like a ravenous hyena and smiled as she gestured between them. 

"It truly is a miracle. Let the records show that Perns golden pair is back, but for the first time ever, they're rivals. Riko, Kevin, we thank you from the bottoms of our hearts for tolerating our incessant fanaticism.. even the Harper Hall gets obsessed with the heroes dragon riders have become." She motioned for them to sit while the judges gave tolerant chuckles and side eyed the Palmetto table as if that explained everything. 

Riko backed away from Kevin to sit at the last remaining seat left over. Kevin sank back onto his cushion, but he was paying more attention to Riko than where he was going. He ended up with his thigh pressed against Neil's, allowed only because of the more traditional seating accepted in the West, hard enough Neil could feel him trembling. The Masterharper only looked at Riko. 

"From what I've just heard from Kevin, it sounds like neither of you have spoken in a while. Is that right?" Someone asked from above. 

"It is," Riko said, looking up. "You sound surprised." 

"Well, yes," the Masterharper said. "I didn't think it possible for you two to grow apart." 

"A year ago it would have been impossible," Riko said, "but you have to understand how emotionally crushing December was. The injury was Kevin's to bear, but we all suffered for it. Some of us couldn't handle the reality of what that accident meant, myself included. Kevin and I grew up at Telgar. We built our lives around that weyr and our pair work. I couldn't believe we'd lost it. I couldn't accept that our dreams had collapsed. Neither could he, so we withdrew from each other." 

"But for nine months?" The Harper who asked leaned forward, and Neil could see her worried expression from where he sat. 

She looked at Kevin, so he answered, but his voice had lost its easy edge for something duller. "Perhaps it was inevitable. We made Exy the center of our lives. We showed Pern our best, but we didn't show you what it cost us. Juggling three Wings, Harper classes, and public pressure was wearing us down, but we refused to admit it. We didn't want to believe we had limits." 

Kathy nodded. "I can't even imagine that stress and pressure. I suppose it had to put a strain on your friendship." 

"We are human sometimes," Riko said, "and therefore we can't help but have our differences, hmm, Kevin?" 

"No family is perfect," Kevin agreed quietly. The entire semicircle of judges nodded sympathetically. 

"Can I just say it was terrifying when you two disappeared? The last we heard, you two had gone off to practice on your off season, to spend some personal time together with your dragons after the marvelous win last year, and then no one saw either of you in public for a month. I feared the worst, but I didn't realize what the worst really was until Weyrleader Wymack made his announcement." 

"The worst was having everything and losing it," Riko said. "We signed with First Court last year, which meant we had only one dream left to achieve: to fly together with First Court at the Summer Olympics, just before the first Threadfall. We knew it was coming, that it was just a matter of time, that a lifetime's worth of effort and sacrifice was about to pay off. Dragonmen must fly, when Thread is in the Sky... Then Kevin broke his legs." 

"Everything changed," Kevin said, so low no one would hear him if not for the fact that he was the current center of attention in a silent room. "We weren't ready to acknowledge that. It was easier to just walk away. Unwise," he allowed, glancing at Riko, "but easier." 

"Heartbreaking," the Masterharper said sadly. 

Kevin looked at his water and said nothing. Kathy finally got a clue that the conversation was going the wrong way. She turned on Riko again, giving Kevin time to pull himself back together. "But look at him now. Isn't it amazing how far he's come this year?" 

"I'm not sure it is," Riko said, "but I'm saying that as his brother, as his best friend. You saw him last night, Kathy. I'm worried his wishful thinking and obsession will lead him to injure himself again. Can he recover a second time, emotionally or mentally? Can you imagine what it would be like to overwork himself just months before Thread is Due to fall, knowing that K’holinth as a dragon NEEDS to flame thread to fulfil his existence?" 

His tone was concerned, but Neil could practically feel his knife twisting deeper in Kevin's chest. Everything Riko was saying was meant to hurt Kevin, and it was working. It wasn't Neil's turn to talk, but he'd heard enough. His temper couldn't stomach any more of Riko's cruelty. For a split second, he didn’t even worry that Riko might recognize him. 

"I thought friends were supposed to cheer each other on," he said before the Masterharper could answer Riko. If this was supposed to be an interview, let Riko have something good to chew on for a moment. "Believing in him now is the least you could do after completely abandoning him last winter." 

A couple judges frowned at that, and murmuring started up again. "Ah, forgive my bad manners," the Masterharper said to Neil. "I didn't forget you over there, Neil, I just got distracted. Let's get the pair of you introduced, though I'm not sure either one of you needs an introduction by now. Riko, Neil. Neil, Riko. Kevin's past and present, or should I say past and future?" 

Riko finally looked at Neil and the image of the dragonrider being hacked to pieces flashed before Neil’s eyes. "To address that accusation of yours: mine and Kevin's relationship is unique, and I do not expect you to understand it. Do not impress on us your petty ideas of friendship." 

"Was unique," Neil said, and emphasized again, "Was. I'm pretty sure your relationship died when he couldn't keep up with your team anymore." 

"Kevin chose to leave Telgar," Riko said. "We mourned his absence but were glad to hear he found a coaching position from wing Second." 

"But you're not happy that he's flying again," Neil said. "Isn't that why you transferred to our district? You don't think Kevin should be in the sky again, so you'll cut him off at the pass. You'll destroy his chance of making a comeback and make him watch as your wing- as you- succeed yet again. You're rubbing his face in everything he's lost, and from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're enjoying it." 

"I will ask you only once to tone down that animosity." 

"I can't," Neil said. "I have a bit of an attitude problem." 

Riko's smile was all ice. "A bit?" 

The Masterharper intervened before things could get nasty. "Neil does bring up a valid point I'd like to discuss. This district change is an unprecedented move. For it to be Telgar makes it more surprising. Neither your Weyrleader nor the Exy Rules and Regulations Committee has given a satisfactory reason, but I don't think Neil's far off in thinking you transferred because of Kevin." 

"Kevin plays only a small role in our decision," Riko said, "and not for the reasons this child claims. It was not a decision made lightly on our part and we've taken an unfair bit of criticism for it. The north says we are transferring to keep our ranking secure, as if they ever had a chance of unseating us, and the west cries unfair at having to contend with us. We are the nation's best team, after all, and the southwestern district is… Well, it's subpar, to be polite. To be honest, its weyrs are dreadful. We hope our transfer changes that. We're here to inspire the west." 

"You want to do for the west what Kevin is doing for the Foxes," Kathy concluded. 

"Yes, but it will be much easier if Kevin plays along," Riko said. 

"How so?" 

"Kevin cannot and will not fly for us again. He knows this; this is why he did not return to us this spring. Our affection for him doesn't forgive his new inadequacies in the sky, and he respects the Ravens too much to drag us down or needlessly injure someone else come Threadfall. That doesn't mean Telgar isn't his home. His work with the Foxes this spring proved we can find a place for him in our weyr. We'd like him to return to us as our Weyrlingmaster." 

"Sounds like a difficult choice, Kevin," Kathy said. "I have to admit both ideas fascinate me. As much as I love watching the Foxes improve, it breaks my heart to see you away from Telgar, and teaching the newly Impressed Weyrlings to fly and Flame sounds just perfect.” 

"You wouldn't honestly have him go back, would you?" Neil asked. "I can't believe it." 

"This has nothing to do with you," Riko said. 

"Stop being so selfish," Neil said, and every single judge gaped at him. 

Kevin pinched Neil's arm in warning and K’holinth rumbled hesitantly from outside, his happy reunion spoiled as both he and Yamor reacted to the rising tensions in their riders, but Neil shrugged both of them off. "If Kevin's dream has always been to be the best in the sky, what right do you have to take it away from him? Why would you ask him to settle for less? The Foxes are giving him a chance to fly whereas you'd relegate him to the sidelines. He has no reason to transfer back, especially with thread falling in less than a year's time." 

"Palmetto Weyr is a waste of his talents."

"Not as much as Edgar Allen was," Neil said. 

Someone in the judging panel laughed, entertained by their mouthy guest. "Your wing's ranked first? Congratulations and big deal. Maintaining a top position in a game is far easier than starting over from the gutters, and preparing to actually lead a weyr- to actually flame real live Thread to save lives. Kevin is doing that right now. He's facing entirely new challenges and learning to fly even with his extra riding harnesses. When he masters it, and he will, he'll be better than you could ever have made him, and so will K’holinth’s hatchlings. 

"Do you know why?" Neil asked, but he didn't let Riko answer. "It's not just his natural talent. It's because he's with us. There are only nine Foxes in the first wing this year flying for Exy, and there will be only ten come Threadfall for the first couple of years. That's one sub for every position until we’re down to the absolute bare minimum Pern has ever seen in any Wing ever. Think about it. Last night we played Breckenridge. They have twenty-seven people on their roster for First Wing not including their Weyrleader. They can burn through dragons and riders as fast as they want because they have a pile of replacements. We don't have that luxury. We have to hold our ground on our own. That includes when Thread finally starts to fall." 

"You didn't hold your ground," Riko said over the Foxes' unceremoniouse applause. "You lost. Your weyr is the laughingstock of all of Pern. You're a weyr with no concept of teamwork." 

"Lucky for you," Neil said. "If we were a unified front you wouldn't have a chance against us." 

"You cannot last and your unfounded arrogance is offensive to everyone who actually earned a spot in Class I. Everyone knows the only reason Palmetto qualified for this division is because of your Weyreader." 

"Funny, I'm pretty sure that's how Telgar qualified." 

"We've earned our prestige a thousand times over. You've earned nothing but pity and scorn, neither of which should be tolerated in a sport. Someone as inexperienced as you are has no right to have an opinion on the matter." 

"All the same, I'll give you one more," Neil said. "Flaming Thread isn’t a sport. Exy is training in preparation to face a real-live menace that threatens the existence of all life on Pern, and I don't think you're telling Kevin to sit out because of his health. I think you know this season is going to be a disaster for your reputation, which you prize over the lives you’re actually supposed to be protecting. You and Kevin have always flew in each other's shadows. You've always been a pair. Now you have to face each other in the sky as rivals for the first time, and people are finally going to know which one of you is better. They're going to know how premature this was." Neil gestured at his face, meaning Riko and Kevin's tattoos. "I think you're more scared of that than any man could ever be scared of Thread itself." 

Riko's smile could have frozen hell. "I am not scared of Kevin. I know him." 

"You're going to eat those words," Neil said. "You're going to choke on them." 

"That sounds like a challenge," Kathy cut in with a quick look between them. "You've got fourteen weeks until your match and I, for one, am already counting down the seconds. There's so much to look forward to this year, but one question can't wait: orange or black, Kevin? What color is your future?" 

Kevin clenched his hand around Neil's arm, cutting off circulation all the way to Neil's fingertips. "I already said it," Kevin said without looking at Riko. "I would like to stay at Palmetto as long as they're willing to have me." The Foxes cheered at that. 

The tension between the strikers had seeped into the crowd, and it broke now in an uncontrollable wave. Kathy didn't even try to calm it but pointed at the Harpers above. Neil barely heard her announce the end of the interview and the need to meet with them as soon as they had a break. Neil hoped it was about the homeless Pernese and not about his huge mouth, but knew it was a slim chance. Not with that scribe still furiously sketching away, two more people hurrying over to him with scruples and pads of paper. 

The Masterharper stood now and smoothed out her robes as she looked at her guests. "You boys made my day," she said with her biggest smile yet. "You not only gave me The most entertaining story for my records, but you also brought up such valid, striking points about The immediate future of Pern that I can't help but want to thank you a thousand times over. Pern needs more brave, dedicated dragon men like you to fly The skies." The three got to their feet and she shook their hands. "Keep the clothes. There're refreshments already prepared here, as well as in the back if you really need a break, and we've got seats up front so you can watch the rest of the show." 

"Thank you," Kevin said. Neil had no intention of hanging out here any longer. He looked out at the small crowd of holders and dragonmen. Wymack sliced a hand across his throat and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. Neil hoped he was right in translating it as "Let's get the hell out of here." He pointedly did not ask Wy’Rhuan to translate. 

Kevin didn't look like he was moving anytime soon, so Neil put his body between Riko's and Kevin's and pushed Kevin toward the wings. Riko followed them off the stage and behaved until they were in the hallway. The apprentices who'd been waiting in the wings rushed past them to check on the masterharper and adjust settings in preparation for the emergency meeting she had just called. Neil thought maybe one would linger long enough to distract Riko, but maybe the time crunch was more important than autographs right now. 

Neil hated having Riko at his back, but Riko moved just as Neil turned to face him. Riko caught Neil by his shoulders and threw him up against the wall. Neil went rigid as they stared each other down, trapped more by the death in Riko's eyes than the fingers leaving bruises on his shoulders. Riko had the same stare his father did: he looked at Neil and saw only flesh that knew how to bleed. 

"I do not approve, Kevin," Riko said. "You should get rid of him as soon as possible." 

"You saw our game last night," Kevin said quietly. "He has potential." 

"Potential." Riko slammed Neil against the wall again and whirled on Kevin. Kevin stared back at him, white-faced and tense. "You said that goalkeeper had potential and then wrote him off as useless when I offered him to you. You'll get bored of this one just as quickly. Believe me." Kevin pressed his lips into a hard line and looked away. Riko made a disgusted noise low in his throat. He said something in a language Neil didn't understand. Neil guessed it was Japanese, the second language that had become popular at Telgar, though only in the Weyr and among the Lord Holder’s main family. Once the Moriyamas staked their claim, Telgar had done the Pernese time honored tradition of adapting. Neil remembered how French had been so well spoken there- in homes and around friends, while the common Pernese was spoken in school and more formal occasions. 

To see Riko speaking this new language wasn’t shocking, but whatever it was, it sounded furious. Kevin flinched and offered a weak response. Riko stabbed a finger at him in angry accusation and rattled away, getting louder and more incensed by the second. Neil watched Kevin wilt beneath the weight of his brother's—no, owner's—fury and kissed his survival instincts goodbye. 

He grabbed Riko's shirt and hauled him back. "Leave him alone." A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. 

Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat, and K’holinth’s confused and distraught trumpet from outside echoed in Neil’s mind twice over. Neil retreated as fast as he could, but there was only so far he could go before he would end up on stage again. He'd just started tripping over wires when Andrew appeared in front of him. 

"Riko," Andrew said, spreading his arms as if he intended to hug Riko hello. "It's been a while." 

Riko jerked back a bit in surprise, started to school his expression into something more civil, and gave up when he realized who had joined them. "We were just talking about you," Riko said. 

"With your fists, it seems," Andrew said. "Don't touch my things, Riko. I don't share." He reached back without looking and pushed at Neil's shoulder. Neil took the hint and skirted around Andrew and Riko. He half-expected Riko to stop them, but all of Riko's attention was on Andrew. Neil grabbed Kevin's arm and hauled him down the hall, looking for the exit. 

They were almost there when the team caught up with them. Abby jogged the last couple steps to Kevin and crushed him in a fierce embrace. Kevin held onto her for dear life while the team hovered nearby, Bee standing quietly with them, watching with eyes that saw too much. Neil didn’t have time for her right now. He focussed on K’holinth and calming him down instead, feeling Kevin panicking beside him. 

Wymack looked at Neil. "Are you seriously retarded or something? You would have been safer back at Palmetto after all."

"Leave him alone, David," Abby said, muffled against Kevin's shoulder when she noticed the abstracted look on Neil’s face, signifying a communion with a dragon. 

"When I said Abby and I would look out for you, I didn't mean you should pick a fight with Riko in front of a dozen of the West’s best Harpers," Wymack said instead. "Should I have spelled that out beforehand?" 

"Probably," Neil said after a moment, finally looking up. 

"It's fine, Weyrleader," Andrew said, catching up to them. He touched Neil's back on his way by, fingers light enough to give Neil goose bumps, but didn't slow on his way to Kevin's side. He pressed a hand to Abby's arm in a silent demand for her to back off. "Kevin, we're going. Right now, okay?" Kevin let go of Abby, and Andrew pushed him out the door and down to the beach where the dragons were all waiting anxiously. 

"Coach says stupid, but I say you have balls of steel. I didn't think you had it in you," Matt said, looking Neil over as if wondering what he'd missed these past few weeks. "I thought you were the quiet type." 

"If Neil was quiet, Andrew wouldn't have brought him to Columbia," Renee said. 

"True," Matt agreed. 

When Neil looked between them, Renee smiled and said, "Andrew's welcome parties are his way of sizing up and eliminating threats. Not everyone gets invited." 

"You went," Neil said, not believing it but knowing somehow he was right. 

"The three of us were," Renee said, gesturing at Matt and Dan. "No one else was until you." 

"Let's go," Wymack said. "I am going to drop you off at the weyr and spend the rest of the day drinking. Damage control can wait until tomorrow." 

They caught up with Andrew's group at the beach. Wymack moved around to make sure everyone had properly resecured their riding straps and pulled on their jackets and helmets, and he got them in the sky as fast as he could, completely ignoring the way Yamor and K’holinth crooned at each other until they were in the sky. 

Neil spent the ride staring out over the island and trying to figure out the consequences of what he'd done. Neil knew harmless conversation with his teammates- or at least their dragons, who hardly cared for remembering things that didn’t immediately affect them negatively- was better than his dire thoughts, but he wasn't in the mood. Even K’holinth was drawn into the happy chatter about how nice it would be to laze about on Fox Rocks when they got home before Neil could even relax enough in his seat to get comfortable. He was too tense to play nice with everyone. 

Luckily Renee got the hint after a couple attempts and left him alone. They were almost halfway back when Andrew had to take his medicine again. Abby had Wymack land the wing for a moment atop a large rocky hill to make sure he really swallowed it. Neil half-expected Andrew to fight it after what had happened at Kathy's show, but Andrew was surprisingly compliant. They made good time back to the weyr, though Neil couldn’t understand why they didn’t just fly Between now that the pageantry was over. He guessed it was so that he dragons could get in their exercise for the day, but he just wanted to get home and see Yardith. 

Neil was so relieved to see the weyr bowl again it was almost painful. Wymack let the dragons slowly spiral down and land in formation before watched his team climb down and start to remove their gear, immediately readying to bathe and oil their dragons in proper order. He said nothing until Andrew approached, then put a hand in Andrew's path.

"Be smart." 

Andrew flapped a hand at Wymack. "I know, I know." 

Neil didn't know if Wymack actually trusted Andrew, but Wymack nodded and dropped his hand. Andrew took the stairs down and didn't slow on his way to the apartments. Wymack didn't leave until they were all done and each dragon was shimmering in the mid day sun, not a scaly patch to be found. They took the stairs to the their apartments, and Dan stopped outside Andrew's room. 

"Hey," Dan said as Andrew unlocked his door. "Let's have lunch together as a team. We don't have to talk about this morning if you don't want to." 

Andrew pretended to think about it. "No." He opened the door and stepped out of the way to send Kevin a pointed look. Kevin started into the room. 

"Don't worry, Kevin," Dan said. "We'll figure this out together." 

Kevin glanced back at her, but he didn't get to answer. Andrew put his hand to Kevin's back and shoved him into the bedroom. Dan scowled at Andrew as Aaron and Nicky followed Kevin inside. Andrew smiled and slammed the door in her face. 

"Asshole," Matt said. 

"They're upset," Renee said. 

"They couldn't help him today." 

"They didn't have to," Matt said. "Neil did it for them." 

They went to the men's suite and found Seth and Allison tangled together on the couch. They were watching a movie, dressed but just barely. Neither seemed embarrassed about being walked in on, and Neil remembered again that Dono was really not that large a brown dragon- only as large as Allison’s green Rey’na. It took them both about the same amount of time to get done with all their chores so they had plenty of time to fool around if they wanted. 

The upperclassmen didn't bat an eye, as if this was a normal sight around these parts, but Neil averted his eyes from the pair. The most Allison did to cover up was to put one of the couch pillows on her lap over her pink thong. Renee let the silence settle between them for a minute as everyone slowly got settled. Finally, when it seemed whatever she was waiting for finally happened, she said, "Is anyone else interested in lunch? I'm starving." 

They ordered a couple pizzas to be delivered to the room. Allison and Seth dressed while they waited, and then Neil took over the bedroom to change out of Kathy's clothes. He buried them at the bottom of the chest beneath his more practical outfits and tugged on worn trousers and an oversized tunic. He and his weyrmates wasted a few hours with food and music. Afterward talk turned to the season, but the upperclassmen seemed as happy to talk about the Ravens as Neil was to think about them. 

Allison tolerated the moping for only a minute before distracting them with talk of the banquet. "We should go shopping tomorrow," Allison said. "I'm going to need time to find the perfect dress. You," she pointed between Matt and Seth, "are in charge of getting Neil something real to wear. I've seen everything he owns. I don't trust him to choose something appropriate." 

"I could just not go," Neil said. 

"You have to go," Dan said. "It's a dragonman event." There was a knock at the door. Dan was closest, so she got up to answer it. Nicky was waiting in the hallway, smiling but visibly tense. 

"How bad is it?" Dan asked. Nicky winced. "Does your armcandy there know how to install a window?" 

Matt looked over his shoulder at the bedroom window. "I can try, but I'm not going anywhere near him tonight." 

"Tomorrow's cool, too," Nicky said. "Just, you know, preferably before Coach comes around to check on Kevin again. There's three hundred bucks in it for you if it's fixed before noon." 

"You get Andrew out of the room and I'll see what I can do." 

"Awesome." Nicky looked at Neil. "Andrew wants to see you." 

Neil looked at the clock and did the math. If Andrew took his midday dose on time, he should be popping another pill any minute now. Neil wondered if he'd really take it and idly hoped he would. If withdrawal didn't upset Andrew enough, being able to finally react to this morning's events without drugs in his veins would make him downright murderous. Neil wouldn't want to be Kevin tonight. He got up and followed Nicky down the hall to Andrew's suite. He hadn't been in their room since he'd come to yell at them that first night, and they were pretty good about keeping their door shut, so it was weird to step inside again. 

He spotted Kevin in the common room first, curled up on one of the oversized beanbag chairs facing away from the door. Aaron was washing dishes in the kitchenette and didn't look up as they went by. Nicky pointed down the hall and went to sit with Kevin. Neil went alone into the dark bedroom and closed the door behind him. The cousins had pushed two of their dressers against the wall under the window on the far wall from Yardith’s room and had removed the usual had removed the heavy curtain that was usually kept up to separate the dragon’s weyr from the rider’s. Yardith’s was bunched up into a sort of nest and filled with straw, and he lay curled up on it, cozy as could be. Neil tucked that away for Tenith later, and wonderd if she would like it or not. Wy’Rhuan certainly didn’t seem to care if he slept on simple straw and stone. 

Andrew sat on top of the two dressors, leaning forward so he could fold his arms across his knees. Neil smelled blood and looked past Andrew at the window. Andrew had taken the screen off in the main room so he could smoke, but this window still had one settled in its deep ledge. It was probably all that saved his hand when he punched a hole in the thick glass Neil knew dragonmen were stronger than others, but he had just assumed that was some sort of myth- he didn’t feel any different since bonding with Tenith after all.

Andrew wasn't looking at him but at the bloody hand dangling between his knees. He flexed his fingers occasionally as if checking the extent of the damage he'd wrought. 

"You could have destroyed your hand with a stunt like that," Neil said. 

Andrew laughed. "Oh my, where would I be then?" 

"Off the team if you couldn’t hold onto your riding straps," Neil said. "Where would Kevin be then?" 

Andrew didn't answer. Neil crossed the room to stand in front of him. Andrew didn't look up, but he smiled wide enough to show Neil his teeth. "Oh, Neil, as unpredictable as he is unreal," Andrew said. "The last time we spoke you were afraid Riko would notice you. Either you lied to me or you changed your mind. I do hope it's the latter, because I hate being lied to." 

"I didn't change my mind," Neil said, "but I didn't have a choice." 

"There is always a choice." 

"I had to say something." 

"And what a thing to say! You took a swing at Riko in front of the West’s best Harpers. He's not going to take that sitting down, you know. How's that target on your back feel?" 

"Familiar," Neil said. Andrew sat up and slumped back against the screen. Neil glanced down at Andrew's hand as it slid into Andrew's lap, but he couldn't see the actual cuts past Andrew's drying, smeared blood. 

"Give him a couple days and he'll know everything about you," Andrew said. When Neil looked him in the eye again, Andrew smiled. "Money greases the wheels of the world easier than blood does. That was something the original settlers failed so miserably at squashing out when they founded our first colonies on this beautiful world we call Pern, and Riko has access to both. He'll look for a way to get back at you, and it won't take him long to see how cold your trail is. How long do you think it'll take someone with his connections to figure out the truth?" Neil was lightheaded with nausea. 

"Shut up." 

"What will you do when he finds out? Run?" 

"You know I will." 

"I know," Andrew agreed. "I can see it. You've got that look in your eye that says you know where every exit to this weyr is." 

Neil turned away, but Andrew was faster. He rocked forward and grabbed Neil's collar, dragging him to a halt before he could leave. He left sticky blood on the back of Neil's neck from his messy fingers. Neil reached back and tried to pry him off, but Andrew refused to let go. 

"Hey, Neil. Neil, listen. Running won't save you this time." 

"Let go of me." 

"Don't you understand? Running was only an option when no one was looking- before Tenith even knew who you were. You knew that back in Red Rock. It's why you wanted to leave before Impression. You could have left before Riko knew you existed. You should have left before you insulted him in front of all of his adoring fans. Now you can't go. Riko wants to know who defied him, and he'll get his answers. You can't outrun your past anymore." 

"I have to try," Neil said. Andrew hummed a little in mock disapproval. 

"Have to nothing. There you go again, thinking there's only one choice. I thought you didn't want to leave." 

"I don't want to," Neil said, feeling sick as he imagined Tenith’s whirling green eyes and remembered that she had been so eagerly awaiting his return that she nearly bugeled herself hoarse greeting him. He tried not to reach out to her now, but even then, he could feel her, settling down on the rocks close to the wheyr. Yardith and Ardanth had opted to stay closer to the weyr rather than go to Fox Rocks since she couldn’t fly there just yet and that had made her whole day just perfect.

"What would it take to make you stay?" 

The question was so unexpected Neil had to turn back. "What?" Andrew laughed quietly at his shock and leaned forward. 

"Name it and it's yours. It doesn't matter what it is so long as you stand your ground here with us." Andrew said, and Neil suppressed a tremble as he felt the warm flesh of the blond’s forehead press against his own. He closed his eyes to keep from accidentally looking up into Andrew’s

"I can't." 

"You can. You have everything you need to survive. You're just too afraid to see it." 

"I don't understand." Andrew sighed as if Neil was being difficult on purpose. 

"Riko will find out the truth, but he can't tell his brother. For starters, Riko and Ichirou aren't allowed to associate with each other, seeing how they belong to separate branches. More importantly, Weyrleader Moriyama won't let him. This year is about Kevin and Riko, see? He won't want news about you getting out and distracting people from their showdown. They're free to make your life a living hell and they'll try to use the truth against you, but they can't sell you out yet. 

"Use that time to narrow the angles they can get at you. Kevin wants to make you a star, so let him. Take what he is giving you and make it your shield. It's hard to kill a man when everyone's eyes are on him. Make them love you, make them hate you, I don't care. Just make them look at you. You have one year to figure it out," Andrew said, putting a finger in Neil's face, trailing it over his cheek, then his nose before lowering it to tap at his chin, just shy of Neil’s bottom lip. "For one year, I'll stand between you and the Moriyamas if you stand at Kevin's side. Next year your life is your problem again, understand?" 

"Why?" Neil asked. "Why would you help me?" 

"Ask me later," Andrew said. He tapped bloody fingers to his own mouth then and grinned at Neil around them. "It's better if this isn't in the way, don't you think? You'll get your answers in Columbia. Oh, but no one told you yet, did they? You're coming out with us tonight." 

"Never again." 

"Shh, Neil, shh," Andrew said. "If you want to stay, you'll come with us at nine. If you're stupid enough to run, pack up and leave before then. That's three hours, almost, for you to make up your mind. Aren't I generous?" 

"That's not enough time. Tenith..." 

"I doubt you're a stranger to snap judgments when it comes to saving your skin. You gave your game to Kevin. Give your back to me." Andrew paused for just long enough to see that Neil wouldn’t look up past where his eyes locked on the bloody stain on his lips before he released his grip. He dug his medicine out of his pocket and shook a pill onto the dresser. He snapped the lid on, tossed the bottle to the corner of the room, and plucked the pill up with his bloody fingers. He held it up where he could see it, turning it this way and that like he'd never seen it before, and finally pushed it between his lips. He dropped his hand to his lap as he swallowed and bared his teeth at Neil in a fierce grin. 

"Tick tock, says the clock. Get out of my room." 

Neil left as fast as he could, but he only made it as far as the hallway. As soon as he shut the door behind him, his legs locked, and he grabbed desperately at the wall. A spike of panic wrenched his stomach into his throat. He dug the side of his hand into his mouth so hard he tasted blood as he tried desperately to hide the panic and turmoil from the sunbathing Tenith. 

Was he supposed to honestly think some rabid goalkeeper could protect him? 

His thoughts went unbidden to the confrontation in Kathy's studio. Andrew showed up in time to protect Neil. He should have gone straight for Kevin, since Kevin appeared to be the center of his strange world, but he'd put himself between Riko and Neil instead. Andrew knew exactly who the Moriyamas were and he knew hints of what Neil was involved in, but he thought he could stand between them just the same. 

Neil shoved away from the wall and went to the stairwell. He was running before he reached the weyr bowl, and he slammed the front door open so hard it banged on its hinges. Louder than that crash was his heartbeat thundering in his ears. What if he could stay? What if a psychotic teenager really was enough? What if Andrew was right that the Foxes' infamy could protect his identity? Neil should know better than to believe such dangerous promises, but Andrew's words haunted him every step of the way.


	12. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this final chapter, Neil comes to terms of what he really is and what he can do, as well as how his own actions could affect those around him. The game is over, and Andrew finally forces him to face his fears head on.

The dormitory was uncharacteristically busy when Neil made it back at nine. He had somehow made his way up to the rocks to gather Tenith, convinced her to leave Yardith and Ardanth for her meal and a bath, then spent the rest of the time painstakingly oiling every inch of her, lathering her in praise and affection just as much as he lathered her in oil. He had to admit, he was proud of himself for never once thinking about going into the supply closet and stealing a set of riding gear for her. She would have been too small to wear it anyways, and horses were too deathly afraid of dragons to keep them near enough to a weyr to have THEIR saddles readily available. He wouldn’t humiliate his beloved girl by riding her like some common pack mule anyways.

The Gather had officially ended about the same time he'd run away, and now some of the after-party crowds were slowly drifting back. People yelled to each other up and down the hall, and loud music blasted through open doors here and there. Neil wound his way through the chaos toward the first wings’ rooms. Their common rooms were the only three closed doors this side of the stairwell. 

He stopped in front of Andrew's door but couldn't make himself knock. His hand was shaking when he looked at it, so he balled it into a fist. He'd almost gotten up the nerve to move when the door opened without warning. "Oh, he made it," Andrew said, smile spreading wider as he slowly leaned forward. Neil held his breath, cursing himself for getting lost in his eyes when he had tried so hard to avoid them last time they were together. 

"That's interesting." The blond purred as he reached up and pressed two fingers to Neil's throat, checking his pulse. When Neil tried to bat him away, Andrew caught his wrist with his free hand. “So I might finally get my answer sometime soon. Progress looks good on you, Neil.”

Neil felt his blood run hot, and struggled hard to remember how to breathe with those eyes boring into his soul. Andrew tapped his fingers against Neil’s pulse then, and when he felt the too-quick beats that threaded through Neil’s veins, his smile was small and fierce. Too real. He leaned forward even more into Neil's space, stealing the air he needed to breathe, but Neil didn’t try to run. "Remember this feeling. This is the moment you stop being the rabbit." 

Neil was too startled to answer, but Andrew didn't wait. He slid past Neil, using the weight of his body and his grip on Neil's wrist to pull Neil with him out of the way of the door. He let go in the middle of the hallway and slipped his hands in his pockets to wait. Nicky was the next out of the room. When he saw Neil his grin lit up his entire face. Neil tried not to let that ruin his high- and then promptly reminded himself that there was no high, no matter how the image of Yardith’s huge eyes flashed behind his eyelids, daring him to trust. 

Aaron looked skeptical when he followed, but he glanced at Andrew and said nothing. Kevin's expression was the hardest to read as he stepped out and closed the door behind him. Neil looked from Kevin to Andrew, who was still watching him like he was waiting for something. Neil hoped it wasn’t his answer. Movement two doors down gave Neil a reason to look away from Andrew again and when he successfully snatched his gaze away, he saw five strangers were knocking on his suite door. He thought he recalled seeing a face or two during his first few classes, but he wasn’t too sure. Maybe they were fosters of a nearby cothold or simply attending Harper classes. He watched them curiously, wondering who they were there for.

Seth stepped out to greet them before Neil could wonder for too long, slapping backs and high-fiving as he moved into their ranks. Allison wasn't far behind them. She pressed against Seth's back and slid her hands down his sides to his pants. Neil watched as she systematically dug through all of his pockets. She came back with just a lighter and a crumpled stick of gum. Seth sent her an annoyed look over his shoulder. "I'm not stupid." 

She kissed him to shut him up and put his lighter back where she'd found it. The gum she tossed behind her as worthless. She almost hit Matt with it as Matt and Dan stepped into the suite doorway. When Matt turned to avoid it, he spotted Neil. The relief on his face was unexpected. 

"Neil, you made it," he said, loud enough even Allison and Seth turned to see. 

Neil looked from one face to the other, wondering what he'd missed. 

"Seth and Allison are going bar-hopping downtown, so the rest of us are prepping a movie marathon. Any requests or recommendations?" Matt explained easily.

"You're leaving the weyr?" Nicky asked Allison. "Are you serious?" 

Allison scowled at him and wound her arms tighter around Seth. "It's none of your business." 

Matt glanced at Allison, expression tight, but kept talking to Neil. "Renee should be back with drinks any second. She said she'd get something nonalcoholic for the two of you." 

"Oh, what a waste," Andrew said. "I'm buying Neil's drinks tonight." 

It took them a couple seconds to catch on. When they did, Dan lurched out of the doorway like a queen on fire with a hard, "You're joking." 

Andrew laughed at her outrage. "You wish I was." 

"The last time he went out with you he hitchhiked his way back to the island on a boat," Dan said, as if sailing should be beneath any and all dragon men. Neil mentally recited to Tenith the accounts of how sailing and boats saved the very first settlers from their unfortunate first-settlement location when a volcano forced them to suddenly evacuate and remained silent. 

Seth's friends looked from her to Andrew with blatant interest, but Dan didn't seem to notice the attention. She stabbed a finger at Andrew and said, "He is not going out with you again. He'll probably wind up dead this time." 

"Golden eggs, Dan," Nicky said. "When you say things like that it makes me think you don't trust us." 

"No one trusts you," Matt said, and Neil didn’t miss the slight emphasis he put on ‘you’. Andrew glanced over at Nicky at this, but Matt plowed on and Neil pretended not to notice. "What are you playing at?" 

"It's not really any of your business," Aaron said. 

"I said he's not going," Dan said. "Neil, don't let him push you around." 

Andrew nudged Neil with his elbow and said in French, "Hey, Neil. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that touching? Look how they weep over you. Ah, such misplaced concern. Tell them you can take care of yourself." 

Andrew was daring him to cross a line, to give up a little more of the lie that was Neil Josten. It went against everything Neil knew to give in, but he'd chosen this path. 

He'd chosen Andrew. Even if he didn’t say it out loud, he had to stand by his decision now. It was the best answer he could give Andrew right now. The best thing for Tenith.He buried his fear as deep as he could and answered in French. "They're not stupid enough to think it's only a drink." 

Andrew said nothing to him, only grinning and raising his brows in expectation.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Neil finally said in common Pernese, giving a nod to the upperclassmen. 

"We're going," Andrew said triumphantly, and went down the hall with Kevin on his heels. 

"Neil, this isn't a good idea," Dan said. 

"I know," Neil said, and turned after Kevin and Andrew. Aaron and Nicky fell in behind him. 

They went down the stairs as a small procession, a line of black leather and fine robes with Neil the sore thumb in the middle. He ended up in the same seat as last time, tucked in the saddle just in front of Andrew, only this time there was no courtesy saddle, and he was left with the much more familiar cushions and blankets to separate him from Andrew’s warm body at his back. He'd just buckled his riding straps fully when Nicky reached up and tossed a bag in his lap. Neil poked it open and saw dark cloth inside. 

The last time they went to Columbia it was a quiet ride with lots of sleep. This time it couldn't be, though Neil wondered for the second time that day why they didn’t just fly Between if they had dragons. Andrew still had a bit over an hour's worth of energy from his medicine, though, and Yardith seemed to be in a splendid mood. Nicky and Andrew talked the whole way there with voices raised to combat the winds when they weren’t in blissful pockets of still air. Nicky bounced topics from Harper tales to theatre performances to music and Andrew cheerfully arguing with almost everything he said. 

They were almost to Columbian sands before Andrew's answers started slowing down. Nicky started dominating more of the conversation, and Andrew's silences stretched a little longer. Sweetie's was just as busy tonight as it had been on their first visit, but they were lucky enough to show up when there were only two groups ahead of them waiting for a table. 

Kevin gave their name to the hostess and Andrew looked at Neil. "We need a number for crackers. Are you in or out?" 

"Do I really have a choice this time?" Neil asked. 

"From now on you do," Andrew said. 

Neil didn't believe him, but he shook his head. Andrew accepted it without question now and pointed at Neil's bag before he walked off to the salad bar to collect cracker packets. Neil looked for a bathroom sign, but Nicky tapped him on the shoulder and led the way. Neil followed him into the bathroom, his guard immediately going up and staying raised the whole time, even as he dumped the bag out on the counter. 

"This is new," Neil said. 

"It'd be tacky to wear the same thing twice, wouldn't it?" Nicky asked. 

"Don't buy me things." 

"Sure, next time Andrew says to outfit you, I'll just tell him no. I can see that going over marvelously." Nicky rolled his eyes. 

"Then let me pay you back." 

"How to say this?" Nicky thought it over for a second, then gave up on tact. 

"You could obviously use the money more than he could right now. Let Andrew give you things if he wants to. He's not normally the gifting type, so it's kind of fun." 

"I don't need handouts." 

"Really?" Nicky asked, sending Neil's clothes a meaningful look. 

Neil stared at him and contemplated a believable answer. "Really," Neil said at last. "I saved some up before I moved here- from my fosters. And I haven't used any of my monthly stipend from the weyr- Wymack told me we all get some, to use at Gathers and to buy extra stuff." 

"Good," Nicky said. "Then we should go shopping tomorrow and buy you new clothes. Coach is pretty mad we haven't done it yet. He's as sick as we are of seeing you in the same things over and over, and Darbi’s been riding his ass about you looking no better than a drudge in uniform. It’s one thing to wear your riding leathers, but you won’t even wear the decent clothes she gave you either, she says." 

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes." 

"That's what you think. Now that you're ours, we've got to take care of you. First order of business is fixing your miserable wardrobe. You're not hopeless or halless anymore." 

Nicky's grin faded a bit at the look on Neil's face. "Okay, no. What's with the blank stare? You do know what you're doing out with us tonight, right? Andrew squeezed some sort of explanation into his usual crazy nonsense?" 

"Sort of," Neil said, forcing himself to plow past the thought that he had somehow become Andrew’s even without officially accepting. This didn’t mean anything. Andrew said he wouldn’t take half-assed answers, Neil reminded himself. The memory of his good-bye party on Fox Rocks flashed before his eyes, along with Andrew’s so many ‘mines’. "He said he'd have answers for me later." 

"You've got to be kidding me." Nicky looked pained. "This means Andrew is keeping you, same as he kept Kevin. It means you're part of the family now." 

"I don't believe in family." 

"Who does these days?" It was a strange thing for Nicky to say considering he had cousins on the team. Judging by his heavy sigh, Nicky had no problems interpreting Neil's expression. Nicky made air quotes with his fingers. As soon as he spoke Neil knew whose words he was echoing, but Neil doubted Andrew sounded so tired when he first said it: "Being related doesn't make us family." 

Nicky stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned a pensive look on his reflection. "I know why Andrew feels that way, and I understand why he and Aaron can't stand each other, but I'm not willing to give up on them yet. I want to fix this and show them they're wrong." 

"Do they hate each other?" Neil asked, surprised and more than happy to change the subject. He searched his memories for signs of trouble between the twins and came back with nothing. 

It was that nothingness that now stood out in his thoughts. Andrew and Aaron didn't fight, but they didn't really interact the same way their dragons did either. Even that, Neil realized, was more like tolerance than love, no matter what he was told about Ardanth refusing to let Yardith go. He'd only seen the twins speak to each other a couple times. He'd never even seen them sit side by side; someone always sat or stood between them. Aaron wasn't even allowed to touch Yardith. 

"I wouldn't say they hate each other, but they've got some pretty serious issues. Wouldn't you if you were them?" Nicky asked. "Family means something different with us because it has to. It's not about blood. It's not even about who we like. It's about who Andrew's willing to protect." 

Neil's stomach twisted with another chilly what-if. "And he's including me because of this morning?" 

"Partly," Nicky said. "But partly because you're the reason Kevin's going to stay with our team. Andrew's got Kevin's back, but you've got Kevin's attention. You're as freakishly obsessed with Exy as he is. That makes you invaluable to Andrew." 

Neil weighed that in silence, then finally gathered his clothes and turned to a stall. Nicky touched his shoulder before he could step away from the sink and Neil’s whole body went stiff, preparing for the worst. "Look, I know we screwed up last time. Me more than everyone, and not because I was told to, either. Please believe me when I say Andrew was just looking out for the rest of us. He didn't want to take any chances, and did what he thought was the easiest way to flush out the bad. But things are different now. You're one of us, which means we'll never push you further than you're willing to go- and I won’t ever do anything like that to you again. Not you or anyone. Okay?" 

"I guess we'll see." Neil shrugged the hand off his shoulder and locked himself in the stall and changed. Nicky's stare was appreciative when Neil returned, but for once he kept his mouth shut. Neil started for the door, then doubled back to the sink. He pulled out his small chip of Abby’s special soap bar (He couldn’t deny its usefulness and had taken to carrying a small chip of it just in case he needed to hurry up and change appearances on the fly) and vigorously scrubbed at the sightroot around his eyes. When he looked up at the mirror, bright blue eyes stared back. 

Neil couldn't be himself, but maybe he could be the Neil he'd given Andrew in Wymack's living room while Wy’Rhaun looked on protectively from his weyr. 

The others were already seated by the time they made it out of the bathroom. A waitress finished jotting down their orders and stepped out of the way to let Neil and Nicky sit. Nicky went first, graciously leaving the outside seat for Neil. Aaron arched an eyebrow at Nicky. "Drown in the toilet?" 

"Even quickies take time, you know," Nicky said, and any glimmer of hope Neil might have had for him trying to make an honest attempt at a change vanished. Maybe it was just a joke, but it only proved Neil’s suspicions true and verified his need to protect himself around the green rider even more. If he could still joke like his knowing how Neil felt, there was no hope for him to change- it was intentional.

"Don't make me sick." Aaron frowned. 

"You know, if you'd get around to popping Katelyn one, you wouldn't be so anal." Nicky ducked when Aaron threw a wadded-up napkin at him. "It's true. You are bringing her to the banquet, aren't you?" 

"I haven't asked her yet." 

"I think Andrew should ask her and see if she can tell the difference." 

Andrew's smile was slow. "Okay." 

"You aren't funny," Aaron said to Nicky. 

"Shut up." 

They ate in silence when their ice cream showed up. The money Aaron left on the table was too much for just dessert, so Neil assumed they'd gotten their drugs. 

The line outside Eden's Twilight was half the size as it was last time. Nicky reassured him that if they didn’t get enough partying in by the time the club closed, they could always continue back at the house, which was fully stocked with alcohol. "But whose house is it?" Neil asked Aaron, refusing to entertain Nicky. 

"Technically it's mine, but I consider it ours." Nicky waved to include the entire group in that. "I left Ruatha so I could be Aaron and Andrew's guardian, did you know? It was me or my super religious parents, and I figured I had a better chance of surviving Andrew. I bought that house so we'd have a place to stay. Dad cosigned it since dragonmen can’t own land, but Erik helped fund it. I use my monthly weyr stipend to make payments on the mortgage." 

"If you have a place to go, why did you all stay with Abby this summer?" Neil asked, still looking to Aaron. The blond shrugged, eyeing Neil for a moment before leaning back in his chair.

“It was way easier that way, and too dangerous to leave the queen while she was clutching.” He said, and Neil wondered how he could have ever mistook him and his brother. They were totally different. 

"That and because Andrew didn't feel like flying Kevin back and forth to the island for practice every day. Even going Between can get pretty dull after a couple of days, and a clutching is supposed to be a break for the rest of us. With Kevin, though, we don’t really ever get a choice. We always fly through the breaks," Nicky said. He pulled up to the curb outside Eden's Twilight long enough to collect a parking marker just like last time. The others went inside while he went to settle everything. It was easier to get a table tonight, but the club was still more crowded than Neil was comfortable with. Andrew left Aaron and Kevin to guard their seats and brought Neil with him to get their drinks. 

Roland the bartender was on duty again. Judging by the look on his face, he remembered Neil and couldn't believe he'd returned. "He said no," Andrew said. "Keep them clean." 

Neil was half-sure this was just a show, but Roland passed him an empty cup and a sealed glass of cider. Neil checked the glass for residue as soon as Roland went to mix the others' drinks. 

"Paranoid," Andrew said. 

"If you're such a control freak you shouldn't be drinking either." 

"I know what my limits are," Andrew said. "I'm not going to test them." 

"And dust?" 

"Too much crazy in this system for dust to make a difference, I guess. We got into dust for Aaron's sake. He needed something safe to get on when he was coming off everything his mother gave him." Andrew gestured between their faces. "Do you remember this game? We're doing the honesty thing again, at least until I grow bored of it. In a moment you're going to be perfectly honest with me and tell me what I have to do to keep you here." 

"Here's some honesty," Neil said. "I don't like you, and I don't trust you." 

"It's mutual," Andrew said. "That doesn't change anything." 

"Nicky says you're only keeping me here because of Kevin," Neil said. When Andrew’s lips twitched at the sound of Nicky’s name, Neil knew that he must have suspected something, but wouldn’t allow the conversation to steer in that direction. He could handle Nicky. "What happens if Kevin gets bored of me?" 

"Keep his interest," Andrew said, and it wasn't really a suggestion. 

“Like taking his little test during the game? You know what that was, don’t you?”

“You were just doing what Greens do.”

“With all the dragons?”

“You didn’t fly with Yardith.”

“Dan told me how dangerous it was when she tried.”

“Sounds to me like it wasn’t with all the dragons, then.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know what you said.”

“Enough. Andrew.” Neil looked away, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “What WAS that? I didn’t even know I could DO that…”

“According to the records, no one can,” Andrew grinned now, looking up at him. Only when Neil looked back at him did he continue. “It’s a little known fact- we can even call it a trade secret- that some very strong dragonmen can manipulate others to bend to their wills- compel them. It doesn’t always work, especially on some people who are more mentally resilient than others. In fact, it’s rare that the talent is even strong enough to matter to humans. Dragonmen, especially, as we can tell when someone’s trying to use that power around us.” Andrew explained. 

Neil tried not to have a mini panic attack as he reviewed all the times he could have been compelled. How was it that normal people didn’t know about this?! Was it real, or was Andrew just toying with him?! When did a man stop being just a man and become a dragon man? Was it when he was born with the blood that would allow him whatever special characteristic he needed to Impress, or was it only after bonding with his dragon? Was this the same compulsion that allowed dragonmen like Riko and Tetsuji to control even the Butcher?

Andrew’s hard stare forced him to breathe, and when he nodded, Andrew continued. 

“In fact, it’s said that it’s not even most bronzes can do it, although they are particularly resilient against being manipulated.” It was like Andrew could read his mind, and Neil wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. He forced his eyes down to the counter. 

“The fact is that it’s a skill particularly strong in Queens and Greens- there have been entire generations where only the strongest golds and greens even had the ability. And when you really think about it, it has to be rare and especially catered to those two types of people, for them to have good flights. That compulsion skill is the same thing that allows you to control your dragon during heat, when they’re wild and bucking against your control. You could try to control anyone the same way you’ll need to control Tenith when she rises, if you try hard enough. Granted, you’ll never know someone’s mental resilience until you try and people can TELL when you’ve tried to manipulate them. They might not have a word for it, but people aren’t stupid. Manipulation is manipulation no matter how you look at it,” Andrew said almost too casually. Neil frowned, wondering if there was a way to train his own mental resilience. He didn’t ever want anyone to manipulate him like that!

“So it’s not a good thing, what Kevin’s asking me to do?”

“Yardith was listening to you. Helping a dragon fly better in the sky isn’t the same as compelling someone to do a favor for you when they say no at first. Dragons are easier than men, too, so if I was you I wouldn’t try it on anyone in the weyr.”

“I’m not going to try it on anyone- I want to know if what I’m doing is hurting the dragons. I can’t force them to do something they don’t want to do.”

“You’re not. All you’re doing is giving them suggestions- letting them know what options they have. You could never control someone else’s dragon. You really can’t fully control your own, either, until you compel her.”

“But you just said it could work on men. You said I could control anyone the same way I can control her.”

“I said you can try.”

“And what if I succeed?” Neil asked quietly. Andrew smirked at him.

“Do you do every little thing that crosses your mind?” the blond asked after a drawn out pause.

“Obviously not.” Neil watched as Andrew lazily let his eyes trail over the room.

“And when you have a conversation with someone, so you immediately fall on your face for them and do everything they even look like they want you to do?” 

“No… but if I could compel Tenith-”

“When a child’s parent tells them not to be naughty, they’re compelling their child to obey. That child doesn’t have to listen any more than you have to listen to any other random person you meet on the street. Just because you have the ability to push those commands into someone’s mind without words, that doesn’t mean that they’ll HAVE to listen to you You’ll have to force them to. Have to want to reach in and strangle out their emotions- their desires. You’ll have to force them to bow to you in their own mind and break their will to make them obey you.” Neil shivered as Andrew offered a shrug. “Even IF you can do that and live with yourself afterwards, you’ll have to face them knowing they’ll remember you forced them.” 

“I would rather die.” Neil watched as Andrew’s smile grew by a fraction.

“I know.”

“But just flying with the dragons… Dan can do it?” Neil wondered after another long pause between them.

“With Lynth.” Andrew met his gaze and Neil tried not to be uncomfortable under his stare, even if he didn’t meet it.

“But not… like my mother?” 

“She can talk to them, and they can choose to talk to her, just like any queen. But you’re special, Neil. More special even than Lorana, who couldn’t selectively eavesdrop whenever she chose. You can pick and choose- stop or start any conversation with any dragon as long as they’re not trying to keep it a secret. Dragons even named you.”

“Is Kevin only trying to use this to help us win? Won’t the other dragon men know- won’t their dragons tell them, if they can feel me doing it?” Neil wasn’t sure if he should tell Andrew that he could also feel it when their riders began to talk to them, too. It wasn’t like Neil could hear their rider’s thoughts or anything- but he could definitely feel the dragon’s reactions to them.

“He’s not doing anything more than a good weyrleader would have his queen do. Unless you actively try to persuade the other weyr’s dragons, it will just feel the same as a queen dragon talking to her wing. Once Tenith learns to fly, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with.”

Neil gazed at him in silence, wondering how stupid and desperate he must be to put his trust in someone like Andrew knowing that this was yet another secret that could get him killed. Just knowing that there were people in this world capable of doing things like that made Neil scared all over again. If someone compelled him, how was he supposed to protect Tenith? 

"Can you protect me from my past?" 

"Your father- his boss," Andrew guessed. 

Neil recalled how he had told Andew the whole truth after their first night out and bowed his head, "Yes. You said the Moriyamas can't touch me this year because of Kevin, but he… his people won't stop. If they find me, they'll kill me. Or worse." 

"What a mess." Andrew sounded unsympathetic. "Easy enough to take care of, though." 

"How?"

Andrew smiled, and leaned back to better look at him. "Keep my interest."

"Or die?" Neil asked. Andrew's smile remained on his face, even as he shook his head, and Neil suddenly remembered their talk just before Impression. Did he have to keep both Andrew and Kevin's interests. Lately, he bad been acting distant and Andrew had allowed him, but they both knew it was an act. A ruse to allow Neil to feel safe in his indecision, no matter how many chances Andrew gave him. He kept saying no, but then turning around and giving Andrew more.

"Oh, Neil. Not this again. 'The only way you die is if you keep putting yourself in danger'." Andrew shrugged. "You don’t have to say yes. You never even had to come here with us in the first place. This isn’t a compulsion- or even blackmail. No one is going to hurt you at Palmetto. Not even if you’re not with me. They’ll have to go through me first, no matter what.”

It was said like it was a simple truth and Neil’s ears burned with the sound.

“You’re just afraid of the safe place you have here.” Andrew motioned with his arms and Neil wasn’t sure if he meant that literally or not. “You're running from the people who can protect you and you know death is waiting for you out there. For Tenith. You know that just like you know if you tell me yes, I'll make you mine even more than just a weyrling on my island.”

“You’re sure talking a lot tonight.”

“It’s part of the game, Child of Mary. We’re playing the one where you don’t lie to me. That includes omission and evasion. Lying to yourself but still following me out when I invite you sends mixed messages. Even you know that. If you don’t want to be close, then don’t be. No one is going to hurt you here because you say no. to that, and you and Tenith still have the whole weyr at your back for protection."

Neil fell silent at the truth in Andrew’s words. He was just as scared now as he was before impression- possibly more so now that he had Tenith- and didn't want to put anyone else in danger. It was guaranteed after the way he acted that morning. Riko would make sure of it. 

Still… He really had no clue how Andrew could protect him even if he was held close, and even if he could trust Yardith to catch him if he fell, how could he trust Andrew to protect him from men who apparently had no problem cutting a dragon man to pieces? From the man who gave those orders in the first place? Who was to say that Andrew couldn't be captured and tortured like that? Even compelled?

A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. It was only one of the handful of sparse times they had ever been so close full-body and he was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. 

It was terrifying and liberating all at once. 

His life was out of his control now; he was giving it to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe. 

Roland returned with a tray of drinks, forcing their moment to come to an end and finally allowing Neil the breath he needed to survive. Andrew took it and motioned for Neil to go ahead of him as he lifted the tray over his head. He'd just finished unloading drinks onto their tabletop when Nicky showed up. 

Neil thought he'd seen them drink fast last time. It had nothing on tonight when they were racing the clock to midnight. He nursed his cider and watched them get trashed. They broke out the dust earlier this time, and Aaron and Nicky vanished to the dance floor shortly afterwards. Andrew collected empty cups and took the tray back to the bar. It was the first time Neil and Kevin had been alone since the broadcast. Despite everything that happened that day, they had nothing to say to each other. They stared in opposite directions and sat in awkward silence the entire half-hour Andrew was gone. 

Neil was starting to think Andrew had gotten lost on his way back from the bar when Andrew finally returned with a load of drinks. He almost said something about it, but let it go in favor of watching them drink. About halfway through the night, his head started to ring and he felt the music pounding against his skull so badly that he had to take a break to the bathroom. For a split second, he was afraid that he had been slipped something again, but when he reached out to Tenith, he could still feel her. She was asleep, yes, but he could catch vague flashes of her dreams unlike last time. After a cup of water and a few moments of quiet, the pain went away, and he chalked it up to overstimulation, returning to the table before they could miss him. 

Last call for drinks went up at ten 'til midnight. Aaron and Nicky came back for a final round. Kevin had to climb up Andrew's side to get to his feet after downing thirteen drinks in an hour and a half, and Neil was amazed the the small blond allowed it. Neil thought it a miracle Kevin could even stay standing once he got up, though. 

Andrew helped Kevin out, so Neil kept Nicky from wheeling off the sidewalk into the road. Neil offered to drive their rented chariot, but Andrew ignored him and got into the driver's seat. Neil didn't remember leaving the club last time, so he paid attention to the drive this time. The stone house was a short distance away, off the main road a short ways and in a small neighborhood at the edge of the weyr. Andrew was pulling into the small stable around the side when Aaron's small bronze fire lizard fluttered out from Between and chattered at him, flapping hard to get his attention. Aaron fumbled through his drunkenness for it, but it took him a while to wrap his hands around the poor thing’s torso and it seemed to get tired of that so it latched itself onto his shirt front and shoulder, snaking his long neck around so that his miniature wedge of a dragon’s head could bob just in front of Aaron’s eyes. 

Finally able to focus, Aaron blinked slowly, opening his mind to accept the influx of telepathic communication, and made a face. "Weyrleader," he said, and answered as if talking directly with the man. "Do you know what time it is? What? Wait, what? You're lying. I don't believe you!" Aaron jerked the firelizard away from his shirt front and shoved it at Andrew as gently as he could, to the distress of the little thing. 

Andrew took time to light a pipe before taking it cradled in one arm. He stroked it eye ridges gently and crooned at it calmly before finally bringing it up to look in the eye. "What do you want?" he asked, and ‘listened’ as the little bronze explained all over again. "Overdosed like how?" 

"Again?" Nicky said incredulously. "That stupid bastard." 

"Never again," Andrew said over his shoulder. "He's dead." 

There was a second of absolute silence before Nicky moved. He grabbed Andrew's shoulder and gave him a violent shake. "No. What?" 

Andrew shrugged him off and spoke to the bronze firelizard directly. “Tell Wyack it’s not a good idea. I'll send my own firelizard to tell you when we're back in town." With another gentle brush of his fingers over the dragonnette’s eye ridge, Andrew sent it off again.

Nicky slumped forward in his chair and groaned low in his throat. "Shit, shit. No way." 

"Who overdosed?" Neil asked. 

"Seth." Andrew explained. "Someone found him face-down in the bathroom at Bacchus where he drowned in his own puke. It's exactly how I warned him he was going to clock out, not that he ever listened to me." 

Neil was hearing things. "Seth overdosed?" 

"Keep up with the conversation," Andrew said. 

"I thought he was on something, but I never saw him using," Neil said. 

"He cleared most of it out of his system years ago," Andrew said. "Only thing he's on these days is antidepressants. Curious." 

“But why didn’t the dragons cry for him…?” Neil whispered, recounting his headache earlier. That wasn’t what that was, sas it? He hadn’t felt Tenith in distress. Even if she didn’t care for him, wouldn’t all dragons mourn for one of their lost? Or was the cry not something he could feel mentally?

"I might be sick," Nicky said miserably. Neil looked at him, surprised by how hard Nicky and Aaron were taking it. He wondered if he was supposed to feel something besides shock, but a mental check came back clean. Maybe it was the same for Tenith and that was why she didn’t cry. He'd grown up around death, after all. It was nothing to him now but ice in his system and a reminder to keep moving. Seth could have- should have- been an exception, since Neil had been living with him for months, but Neil had never liked him. 

"Are we going back?" Neil asked. 

"When they're all drunk and cracker high and I'm off my meds? I'll be back in jail before you can say 'threat to society' at best. At worst, I’ll confuse Yardih and take us all Between and get us lost forever. We'll wait until morning." Andrew got out of the front seat of the carriage, but no one else moved. 

"What about the line-up?" Kevin asked. 

Nicky winced. "Kevin, the man is dead. Like, permanently. And we were too drugged to notice our dragons crying for Dono." 

So that explained why no one else reacted. Their dragons had been crying and they must have either taken something like dragonsbane to keep them from affecting their dragons or maybe the drugs just made them too far beyond mental control that they couldn’t properly hear their mounts through the loud music.

"It's not a major loss," Kevin said. 

Nicky got out of the chariot and paced the cobblestone path with his hands linked behind his neck. Neil looked from Aaron to Kevin, and then slid out Nicky's now empty side door. 

Andrew was fiddling with his key chain on the front porch when Neil caught up with him. Andrew finished whatever he was doing, transferred the key chain to one hand, and pointed his pipe at Neil's face. "That's interesting," he said. "That apathy doesn't bode well for your sanity." 

"I don't understand suicide," Neil said. "Staying alive has always been so important I can't imagine actively trying to die." 

"He wasn't," Andrew said, like Neil was being stupid. He unlocked the door but didn't bother with the glows when he went in. Neil followed him into the dark hallway and left the door open behind him for the others. 

"He wanted a way out for a little while, a few hours where he didn't have to think or feel. Problem was he picked an out that's easy to die on. That's his fault." 

"Is that why you drink?" Neil asked. "You don't want to feel?" 

Andrew turned to face him. Neil wasn't expecting it and almost ran into him. Andrew dug his fingertip into the hollow of Neil's throat in warning. This close Neil could smell the alcohol and pipe smoke on him. It made him think of his mother burning to ashes on the beach. He reached out without thinking and took Andrew's pipe away. For some reason Andrew let him keep it. "I don't feel for anyone or anything," Andrew said. "Don't forget that." 

"So Kevin's just a hobby for you?" 

"Seth didn't kill himself. He couldn't have." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Seth only takes his pills when he and Allison are on the outs," Andrew said. "When they're together she's enough to hold him up. She went with him tonight, so she would have made sure he left his pills at home. She knows he likes chasing them with drinks." 

Neil remembered watching her dig through Seth's pockets. "She checked him. I saw her." 

"So did I," Andrew said. 

"If he didn't have his pills on him, how did he overdose?" 

"Not by choice," Andrew said. "My theory says Riko won this round." 

Neil stared at him, feeling his stomach churn. "You don't really think Riko did this." 

"I think the timing's too convenient for it to be an accident," Andrew said. "Riko broke Kevin's legs for being better. He crossed districts because Kevin picked up riding straps again and got back in the sky. What do you think he's willing to do to you for calling him useless on Kathy's stage? 

"You said our greatest strength is in our small size. How strong do you feel now that you've been bumped to our starting line? Without Seth, we're going to rely on you and Tenith even more now. You think you and Kevin are ready to carry us to championships?" 

"And you called me paranoid," Neil said quietly, trying not to admit that he felt like his whole world was crumbling beneath him. His wildest fears were coming true. 

"They were supposed to stay in the weyr tonight," Andrew said. "Renee stopped by after you left and asked how soon we could expect Riko to respond. Kevin said we would hear back tonight. Pity you didn't see the busybodies panic when they realized you weren't at the dorm anymore. I told them you'd be back at nine, so they built their plans around you." 

Neil remembered how relieved Matt looked to see him in the hallway. More than that, he remembered Nicky's incredulity that Allison and Seth were leaving. Nicky rarely paid attention to the two and he shouldn't have cared that they were socializing. He reacted because they were deviating from the plan. "I don't believe you," Neil said. 

"I can't prove it, but I know I'm right." 

"If you are, then what?" Neil asked. "I'm willing to gamble with my life. I won't gamble with theirs. They don't deserve that." 

"You don't have to," Andrew said. "I do, and I say the odds are good. The Foxes are famous for having terrible seasons, but even bad luck only goes so far. One death is a believable tragedy. Two brings us below the bare minimum number of requisite riders to compete. Weyrleader Moriyama wants Kevin and Riko to face-off in the sky, so Riko can't risk disqualifying us." 

Neil said nothing. 

Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Neil's shirt and tugged just enough for Neil to feel it. Foolishly, Neil met his eyes and couldn't help but lean forward, feeling Andrews fingers snake around his neck and up into his hair. A firm but gentle tug there seemed to ground him and he was forced to pay attention to Andrews next words. "I know what I'm doing. I knew what I was agreeing to when I took Kevin's side. I knew what it could cost us and how far I'd have to go. Understand?” 

Andrew waited for Neil to respond, but when no words came and Neil pressed his lips into a thin line, he took a small step forward. “I’ll keep you if you stay. You aren't going anywhere. You're staying here. Yes or no?" 

Andrew didn't let go until Neil answered this time. 

“Yes.” 

Only then did he reach for Neil's hand. He took his short pipe back, put it between his lips, and pressed a warm key into Neil's empty palm in return. Neil lifted his hand to look at it. The crafthall logo engraved in it meant it was a copy. To what, Neil didn't know, but it only took him a moment to figure it out. Andrew used this key to unlock the front door and then took it off the ring on the porch. Now he was giving it to Neil. 

"Get some sleep," Andrew said. "We're going home tomorrow. We'll figure this out then." 

Andrew went around Neil to the front door. He had no sympathy or comfort for his family as they grieved Seth's unexpected death, but he would keep watch on them from the doorway until they were okay again. It was harder than it should have been for Neil to look away from him, but he finally set off down the hall. He passed the den, then backtracked and curled up in one of the recliners. 

Despite Andrew's promises and confidence, chances were good Neil was going to leave Palmetto in a casket before spring, with Tenith gone far Between. Neil thought he would be okay with it. He would spend his last few months as Neil Josten, starting striker for the Palmetto Weyr Foxes, Weyrling rider of green Tenith. He'd be Kevin's protégé, a teenager with a bright future, and his death would be a tragedy. Dragons would keen, and riders would mourn for their loss. 

It sounded a lot better than dying scared and alone halfway around the world. Neil looked down at the key in his hand, turning his fingers this way and that to let it catch in the light of Perns two moons. "Home," he whispered, needing to hear it aloud, even in the dark and empty room. It was a foreign concept to him, an impossible dream. It was frightening and wonderful all at once, and it set his heart racing so fast he thought it'd drum out of his chest. 

\--Welcome home, Neil-- he heard in the back of his mind, and somehow, Yardith's sing-song voice was as comforting a lullaby as the heavy bronze wing Wy'Rhaun had tucked over him all those nights ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys! This was an amazing ride! I didn't even realize that I rewrote the whole first book until I got to the end! I didn't have a real clear idea of where I wanted to take this when I first started, but now that I'm done with the first book, it feels like I can't just stop there! 
> 
> I still intend to write more, though it might take a little while for me to continue. I hope this wrapped up nice for you guys, and I'll try to get out the first chapter to book two before too long. When I start on that, I'll add the link to this one when it's ready. 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this and I seriously thank every one of you for reading! I had so much fun writing this and I really appreciate everyone tolerating my crazy Pernese dragon whims and many typos and grammar errors.
> 
> Part 2 is over here !!!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849526/chapters/52144642


	13. You can say no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is actually chapter 1 of His Weyr, part 2 of this series! You can see it continue over here 
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849526/chapters/52144642
> 
> Neil returns to the weyr with the monsters and feels the tensions mount. Everything feels like it's boiling over, but he's not the only one with problems.

By the time Neil and the others returned to the weyr, the brilliant orange and white streamers and ribbons had been replaced by black and an orange that no longer seemed to glow so brilliantly… or so Neil thought. It could have also just been a trick of the light now that heavy clouds hung in the sky. They weren’t the ominous silver and black hues of Threadfall, but were heavy and grey, promising a sudden torrential downpour at any moment that only the islands could have ever gotten used to. Neil supposed the black was supposed to give the weyr and Harper Campus beyond the impression of mourning, but it just seemed like a cheap tribute. 

Then again, maybe that was just cynicism born of a lifetime of seeing death at every turn. After all, Neil had seen more people die than he could comfortably cound, even if he could remember every one.

Death was unpleasant, but it was familiar, and had grown into a tolerable ache in his chest. Even if the passing of a dragon and his rider from the same weyr and wing was sudden, it meant nothing more than a verification of a danger Neil already knew to be very real and abounding. Neil felt nothing more than a resigned acceptance. Staying alive was hard enough, and now that he had Tenith, he didn’t have the time to linger over someone else’s misfortunes. Not even after what Andrew had told him that night. Especially not after what Andrew had told him that night, and the truth that he had accepted. 

The funeral was likewise unnecessarily long and drawn out, but Neil paid his respects with the rest of the wing. None of the other Weyrmates came, which Neil found interesting, but not shocking. Seth had friends, but he was a volatile personality and the other dragons and their riders had already paid tribute through their dragon sing and keening… and Neil supposed through the banners which would fly for another sevenday. The shock came when not even his mother came or sent word. Then again, neither would Neil's. 

The whole team lead the procession and Neil felt only a little awkward that he was asked to be a pallbearer but he had tried not to think too hard about it that day as they crested the hill and stood at the base of the huge stone building. It wasn’t tall, but it was wide, and covered the entire top of one of the hills Neil had seen on a fly-over with Yardith. Neil hadn’t seen a Dragonrider Mausoleum up close before and on his fly-over he had assumed it was just some large official building, but this one was very well made, and he could tell the roof was doubly thick as any other stone housing structure that wasn’t built directly into the earth itself. To think that Palmetto hadn’t really been inhabited for that long made him wonder when the weyrleader had it built- and if he had had it made so large and beautifully crafted because he knew Thread was falling, or because he knew that his riders would fall so easily. It was usually an honor for a rider to go Between on his dragon in death, but with this rag-tag weyr...

By the time the ceremony was over, Neil was sure Allison was sick and tired of hearing the dragon rider's traditional 'I grieve for your loss'. He had still said it to her as well, and found it a bit hard to meet her reddened and tear rimmed eyes as he did so. 

Over the next week, Neil mostly tried to avoid everyone, and stick to taking care of Tennith. It didn't much help, since Kevin was determined to practice the very next day. When a fight immediately broke out because of high tensions and Andrews too cheerful drug addled mind and lack of decorum or respect for his fallen teammate, Wymack had cancelled the rest of the practices that week, even if regular Harper classes didn't pause at all. Kevin didn't seem to care, though, and insisted HIS weyrmates keep training. Neil felt almost as awkward about being labeled Kevin's as he felt about being labeled Andrew's. 

Only…

Andrew had come for him each night, just the same as every other night for their late practices. 

Only…

Neil couldn't be too sure but he thought when Andrew came for him at night, he lingered just a bit more. He thought maybe Andrew spent a little more time than necessary with Tenith. Maybe Neil only paid attention because his dragon pointed it out. Maybe Neil only noticed Andrew because Yardith wouldn't stop staring at him with that damn mocking dragon grin of his! Maybe… 

Only…

Each night after practice, Andrew drew Neil into more trust exercises, having Yardith play and spiral and do as he pleased until Neil called it quits and headed to shower. He never said anything about why or made a point of what Neil was supposed to be doing, he just told Neil to stay.

And Neil stayed. 

When regular practices did finally resume, Neil was thankful for the distraction from the too intimate and too awkward moments shared with only Andrew and their dragons, at least initially. They were a week away from the next big game and they had the bare minimum riders. Neil knew he couldn't fly, but he was counted on the team. They COULD hold another tryout but then they would have to go through the whole Weyr and as much as Kevin had high hopes, it was very unlikely that they would have enough time to incorporate a whole new member and be ready to play, much less ride when Thread started to fall. Not to mention, the people who would likely meet standards would be wingleaders themselves, and they couldn't be spared from training with their own wings. 

Kevin and the Weyrleader spent long moments whispering with Dan, and Neil knew it had to be about him, because he or Tenith would suddenly be called over and either asked something or asked to DO something. They would answer, or perform, and then be shooed away again, back to practice. Only later would Neil see a few of the other youngsters from hsi clutch be called over as well- the queen, and some bronzes, then later some of the smallest hatchlings. He knew they were up to something- testing something- but he couldn’t prove it, no matter how many times he saw Wymack and Abby talking over an old scroll with Dan and citing dates and old harper tales about hatchings and young dragons, and Kevin told him not to worry about it.

And so, Neil was kept on reserve, and they were going to manage somehow with him on the ground, helping them ride by basically playing second queen. 

The very next Wednesday, he walked with the others to the Weyr bowl, and when neither Nicky nor Andrew came up to join them, he remembered that Andrew had his sessions with the HarperHealer Bee those days. Well, that was one good thing. Maybe they COULD get through the initial awkwardness before the crazy twin and jovial cousin came back. He glanced around at Kevin and Aaron for a moment, curious why they wouldn't go on in to the lounge area until he noticed that they were both turned away and looking at the black banners that fluttered almost ominously in the wind. They were grieving, Neil explained to Tenith when she asked why no one was coming to play with her just yet, then moved inside and prompting them to hurry after him.

They filed past the glass walls, then back in and down the hall to the locker room. That door was unlocked, and the glows were turned inside, but the lounge was empty. Neil, curious, went to investigate while Aaron and Kevin got settled and Tenith happily darted around the weyr bowl with Ardanth and K'holinth's attention on her. 

A hallway connected the lounge to the foyer, and the door on the foyer's back wall, which led into the Weyr bowl itself, was still locked. Neil backtracked to the hall where the changing rooms and offices were. Wymack's office door was closed, but if Neil listened for a minute he heard Wymack's muffled voice through the wood. Satisfied no one was here who shouldn't be, Neil went back to the others. 

Aaron and Kevin were rearranging the furniture when Neil walked in and he watched as they pushed the chairs and couches into a V-shape, then asked, "What are you doing?" 

"Finding a new way to make us fit," Aaron said, "unless you want to stare an empty chair in the face all season." 

"It's the same number of cushions," Neil said. 

"Four people barely fit on a couch. Five is out of the question." 

"Five?" 

Kevin looked at him like he was stupid. Neil was painfully familiar with that look by now, but even after almost half a cycle of working with Kevin he still didn't appreciate it. "You do know your place, don't you?" Kevin asked. 

Until that Saturday night, Neil had never been stupid enough to think he had a place. Andrew promised he could change that, but his protection had a price tag- one that was becoming more and more real the longer he spent here. Andrew would protect Neil from his past if Neil helped him keep Kevin at Palmetto and gave up that control. Kevin thought Neil was his because Neil said he would fly for the bronze, but Andrew had made it clear that Kevin belonged to him, just like the whole mountain belonged to him. Anything or anyone under the crazy blond's sphere of influence was claimed and Neil had been promised a place under his wing or on his mountain. It didn't seem to matter to Andrew which, just how close he got to hold Neil in the end. After spending those hours alone with Andrew were tense, but they were building to something Neil didn’t want to think about. He hadn’t said anything to Andrew, but they both knew something had changed between them that night.

Neil tried not to think about the surprisingly strong arms that would end up doing the holding- the tight grip Andrew always gave his hair when he made Neil come close- the way Andrews fingers loosened from his hair and gently ran over his shoulders and back when they finally broke apart. He closed his eyes and focussed on the task at hand, reminding himself that Tenith was listening.

It sounded easy enough, but Nicky and Dan had both had warned him in their own ways that there was more to it. Neil wasn't just supposed to be training to fly with their team. He was supposed to also be some sort of second queen mind reader or tactician or something with his new dragon abilities. He needed to help the whole wing work better together from the inside of Andrew's dysfunctional group. He couldn't hide on the fringes anymore. 

Neil looked at the new arrangement in the lounge again and understood. Before Impression and the first game, Andrew's four had all squished onto one couch. Now they could spread out, three on the couch and two to the chairs on either side. The remaining upperclassmen got the couch and chair opposite them. Neil started for the chair on the end, since he'd always had the outside seat, but Aaron sank into it first. Neil hesitated a second too long, and Aaron finally spelled it out for him. 

"You're on the couch with Kevin and Andrew. Sit down." 

"I don't like being boxed in," Neil said, "and I don't want to sit next to your brother." 

"Nicky put up with it for a year," Aaron said after a pause where he looked far too much like his twin, calculating Neil’s responses and formulating an answer that would make him see the point that should have been clear from the first place. "You can deal with it." 

"You're his family," Neil said, not like it meant a thing to them. Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes. At the Foxhole Weyr, "family" was a fantasy invented to make scrolls and Harper songs more interesting. Neil knew it was a lost cause even as he said it, so he took the seat Aaron had assigned him. Kevin sat after Neil did, leaving space between them for Andrew. 

Neil looked around the room again instead of thinking about how close Andrew would be to him and wondered how the senior weyrmates would adjust to the new layout. His stare fell on the oversized schedule hanging above the Harper stage and his stomach knotted as he read down the list. The end of the second sevenday of the fifth month was the day the last-ranked Foxes went up against the first-ranked Edgar Allan Weyr Ravens. 

It was bound to be a disaster, and Neil had only made it worse by challenging Kevin at an official Harper council questioning. 

Wymack's door opened down the hall, but a half-second later the the chittering of a fire-lizard could be heard, even as Tenith exclaimed happily that Wy'Rhaun had joined them in the bowl. Wymack didn't bother to close his door again before answering. From what Neil could hear, someone was harassing Wymack about the team's tiny line-up. Wymack's obvious irritation made his reassurances less than convincing, but Neil knew he believed every word he was saying and that would be conveyed in his fire-lizards messages. 

Wymack didn't care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He'd stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end, Thread or no.

Wymack was still going at it when the lounge door opened. Queen rider Danielle Wilds was the first into the room, but her boyfriend and bronze rider Matt Boyd and best friend and blue rider Renee Walker were right behind her. They only made it a couple steps into the room before grinding to a halt. 

Dan pointed at Neil but stared at Kevin. "What is that about?" 

Aaron answered, "You knew what it meant when we took him Saturday night." 

Wymack sent his fire-lizard away one last time and Neil wondered if the argument really was over or if he'd used the arrival of more Foxes as an excuse to get out of the conversation. The weyrleader strode into the lounge a couple seconds later and followed Dan's finger to Neil. He looked from Neil to Kevin to Aaron, then around the room at the new layout, then back at Neil. "Last I checked Andrew didn't like you," Wymack said. 

"He still doesn't," Neil said, but he didn't bother to explain. 

"Interesting." Wymack eyed Neil a moment longer before turning on the upperclassmen. "Sit down, would you? We need to talk." 

Wymack leaned against the entertainment center and waited for them to get settled. He folded his arms across his chest and studied each of his first wing in turn. "Abby wrote me a speech to give you this afternoon. It sounded nice, had lots of stuff about courage and loss and coming together in everyone's time of need. I stripped the ink from the hide and tossed it in the reuse pile beside my desk. 

"I'm not here to offer you kind words and pats on the back. I'm not here to be a shoulder to cry on. Take that up with Abby or go down to Reddin and talk to Bee. My job is to be your Weyrleader no matter what, to keep you moving and get you back in the sky whether you're ready to be there or not. That probably makes me the bad guy here, but we all have to live with it. Thread is coming and we are not just athletes. If you can't deal with this now, you'll perish when Thread finally comes." Wymack looked at the empty chairs across from him. 

Palmetto Weyr's Exy wing was on its fifth year now. Wymack built the Foxes from the ground up and handpicked Seth for his first starting line. Between the players' personal problems, a faulty original contract that let riders walk away as soon as their dragon could go Between, and the option to graduate after completing the Harper class requirements in four years instead of five, Seth was the only one who'd made it to a fifth year with the wing. The brown rider had been a lot of things, most of them unpleasant, but he'd definitely been a fighter, and his Dono was always ready to take up arms right by his side. 

Now he was gone. 

Weyrleader Wymack cleared his throat and scratched a hand through his short hair. "Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell you life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. All of you are. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got. That's why the very first settlers even came to Pern. You know as well as I do that petty shit like war and famine were what drove them here, and what gave them the will to fight. What gave them the tenacity to win against Thread- to create the dragons to fight and win against Thread. 

"Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform, and make damn sure we’re ready to fight Thread when it finally rains down on our island. Let's show the world what we've got. Let's make this our year." 

"We've lost enough, don't you think?" Dan asked her wingmates, a queen challenging her warriors. "It's time to win." 

Matt laced his fingers through hers and squeezed. "Let's take it all the way to finals." 

"Words don't mean anything to me," Wymack said. "Prove to me in my sky you have what it takes to make it to championships. I want you in the sky in flight gear in five minutes or I'll sign you all up for a marathon around the whole island." Wymack's odd idea of pep talk was missing its usual feigned anger, but his words were familiar enough to get the team moving. 

The men's locker room was silent as they dressed. Neil carried his things into one of the bathroom stalls to change. That was as much privacy as he was going to have. A vanity separated the toilets from the communal shower, and Neil stopped there on his way back to consider his reflection. 

Neil had a love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity. He was the spitting image of the murderous father he'd run away from eight years ago. Hair dye and a local herb called Sightroot were the easiest way to hide his face, but keeping up with it when he lived with the Foxes was exhausting. He checked his roots twice a day every day and slept with the dark crushed root pulp painted over his eyes like eyeliner so that the effects would stay. It not only made his eyesight better, but it also stained his normally pale irises a dull, muddy brown. 

It was tricky now that he was using the special soap the Weyr healer, Abby made each time he bathed, but as long as he used a lighter hair soap and reapplied the sightroot immediately after his baths, his roots didn’t fade too easily and his eyes didn’t immediately change back to their original color. It helped keep him alive and safe. 

It had. 

But Neil didn't think it was going to be enough anymore. He didn't realize how long he'd stalled until Matt and Kevin came looking for him. He saw their reflections as they stepped into the doorway behind him but didn't turn around. "All the way to finals?" Neil asked. 

"Miracles happen," Matt said. 

"Don't rely on something as insubstantial as a miracle," Kevin said. "You won't win anything by standing around. Finish getting changed and get down to the bowl." 

"One day I want you to look up 'insensitivity' in the archives," Matt said, annoyed as he buckled the last of his riding straps around his thigh and stood straight. "I'm sure it'll do your ego wonders to see your picture classically rendered there beside it." 

"No," Neil said before Kevin could respond. "He's right. The chance of Weyrleader Wymack finding us another green striker when the year's already started is slim. Finding one that can actually incorporate into the wing and fly well with you all during the first Fall is even slimmer, and it’s too dangerous to try to force someone in. One wrong move and we could lose even more people- not to mention put the queen in danger. Until he figures something out, Kevin is the only striker, and the midfielders are going to have to push up and cover a broader section while Dan and I try to coordinate, and I’m not even sure if I’m strong enough to do it. My green can’t even fly yet.”

“Hey, don’t sell Tenith short,” Matt protested. 

“I’m not selling her short, I’m just stating the facts. We all know that some dragons can fly sooner than others- that it’s possible for them to go Between faster than we usually send them, especially in times of Threadfall, but it won’t do Tenith any good to rush up into the sky if she’s just going to hurt her muscles and stunt her growth. Not to mention, if I’m the one that has to lead her…” Neil looked away from his own reflection.

“You should talk to Andrew.” Kevin said after a moment, reaching over to tap on the glass and draw his attention. “Until then, practice, and get better if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re not going Tenith any favors staring at your own reflection.”

Neil pushed away from the mirrors and finished getting ready. Dan and Renee were waiting for the men in the foyer, and they went into the stadium for warm-ups. After forty minutes of laps and interval runs they trekked back around the stone wall to the fountain for water. They were stretching out as a group in a large ring of their dragons, who also stretched their wings and warmed up when the glass door opened. Neil glanced at the upperclassmen to judge their reactions as Nicky and Andrew joined them in the foyer. 

Dan went back to her stretches after a split-second glance in their direction, and Matt's expression tightened when he spotted Andrew's smiling face. Only Renee managed a smile, and her voice was friendly, if quiet, when she said hello. "Hi Renee," Andrew returned. "Are you moving back into the girl’s weyr yet?" 

"Tonight," Renee said. "We packed Matt's truck this morning." 

Andrew accepted that without argument and vanished into the locker room to change. Nicky hung back a minute, looking a little uncertain as he faced his teammates for the first time in days. Dan looked at him again, but her stony face was not encouraging. "Hey," Nicky said, subdued. "Holding up?" 

"Somehow or other," Dan said. She didn't ask how Nicky was. Chances were she didn't want to know. 

Nicky said nothing for a bit, then, "How is Allison?" 

"Do you care?" Matt asked. 

"Matt," Renee said in quiet rebuke. To Nicky, she said, "She's having a hard time right now, as expected, but we make sure she's never alone. She still won't speak to Bee, but I think she'll open up soon." 

"Yeah," Nicky agreed, barely a whisper as Hemmi spiraled down into the bowl to join the other dragons. 

Wymack waited until he was sure she was settled and the riders were done and then gestured at Nicky. "You two get down to the court and start doing laps. I don't pay for glows and drudges in this place so you can stand around and gossip. The rest of you finish up here and get some water. As soon as Andrew and Nicky are ready we're suiting up for sky drills. We've got—" Wymack stopped at the sight of his bronze fire-lizard flickering in from Between and fluttering about his head to draw his attention. "These leeches are going to drive me insane. I should have invested in a secretary." 

Nicky went into the changing room while Wymack went in search of more privacy to hold his conversation. Neil was standing at the back of the foyer, closest to the hall, so he heard when Wymack answered. Despite Wymack's obvious annoyance, he managed a civil tone as he conversation and responded through the fire-lizard. Neil was trying not to look like he was eavesdropping too much, but he immediately knew something was wrong. The Weyrleader rumbled for a moment, sounding much too much like a concerned Wy’Rhaun, then called for Andrew. 

The blond meandered in from the changing room, and their voiced got too low for a moment. Neil thought that maybe it was over, but then both Yardith and Ardanth growled and rumbled in irritation. Yardith crouched low and darted forward, looking like he was on a mission, the tell tale singe of firestone already brimming past his lips as he aimed for the glass wall. Seconds later, Andrew’s voice raised up. Before Neil could hear what he was saying, though, Dan was already racing past him, and Lynth had placed herself between Yardith and the wall, using Ardanth’s bulk to help keep him back. Neil and the others had to scramble around beneath their feet to keep from being trampled as Yardith raged, but when Neil glanced over to Aaron, he seemed just as shocked and confused as the rest of them. 

“Let me go, or I swear by the first egg, I’ll kill you, too,” Andrew growled loud enough for Neil to hear then. Dan said something- then Wymack. “Then call me sick, and I’ll call out for the day.” Andrew said, just as Yardith rumbled angrily from outside. 

“You know as well as I do that if you go out and try to find him now, you’ll be the first suspect as soon as anything happens to that man.” Dan’s voice was loud enough for Neil to hear this time, and he frowned in confusion as he pressed his back against the glass wall with the others, trying to stay out of the dragon’s way.

“And then what? What could they possibly to to me, Dan? Hm? Lock me up? Take away my ability to fly? Take my dragon?” Andrew’s voice sounded strained- taught and ready to break. “Kill me?”

Neil shivered as Ardanth growled back at Yardith and shoved him hard until the smaller dragon had no choice but to take a couple of steps back. “Andrew, all I’m asking you to do is got to Bee first. Go to Bee, and take a minute to think about this. You don’t even know where he is.” Wymack was saying. “Let the Harper Enforcers do their jobs. With the testimony--” 

“What more testimony could you NEED?” Andrew hissed, and their voices were lost again. It took a while longer for the dragons to finally calm down, with muffled, angry, sorrowful, and stressed currents all reaching Neil, but only snatches of words here and there. When Andrew finally came out, it was with Dan and Wymack hot on his heels, but the blond was tucking a blade back into his sleeve and looked like he was on a set mission. He didn’t even glance over at Neil as he made his way over to Yardith. Ardanth almost didn’t let him past, but by the time the diminutive man finally raised his chin nigh enough to look him in the eye, Yardith was properly chastened. He moved aside, and Andrew vaulted onto his dragon’s back. 

Neil noticed he didn’t have on his proper riding straps and Yardith wasn’t properly saddled, but neither of them seemed to care as the huge dragon crouched back on his hind legs and let out a roar and pure rage. Before his wings even finished their downward stroke, they were Between and had plummeted the bowl into an eerie silence. 

“What the hell just happened?” Nicky asked, frowning as he turned to the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman.

“It’s…” Dan looked over to Wymack, and looked worried- far too worried for Neil to be comfortable. 

“It seems like something has upset Andrew. Instead of prying and forcing someone else to tell us, maybe we should wait for him to come forward, whenever he’s ready. Clearly it was a stressful thing, and not something he’s willing to share just yet.” Renee stepped up to be the voice of reason. Neil glanced over towards her, and a bit shocked to see that she was looking over at him, just as he started to reach out to listen to Ardanth’s mental voice. But, she couldn’t have known that he was going to start asking him questions, could she? Then again, Neil wasn’t sure if he trusted a single thing about Renee. 

He pointedly looked away and stopped listening in to Ardanth, even as the others started to settle their dragons and Wymack and Renee guided the other remaining monsters back into practice with a few quick commands from Dan. 

Neil couldn’t believe the way the rest of the practice seemed to go on without too much of a hitch. Even Kevin seemed unmoved, and when Allison came back, everyone even greeted her warmly and the dragons all crowded around. She didn’t seem up to practice, but she did sit in her saddle, all strapped in and staring up into the skies. By the time it was all over and Neil was stepping out of his shower, he still felt like he was somehow missing a huge chunk of information and had gone through some sort of wind tunnel without it, leaving him disoriented. 

He tried not to think about it, and forced himself instead to concentrate on the things he could do. Tenith was fed and watered, washed and oiled, and he took her to bed before he spent the rest of his time in the archives room, trying to fill his mind with something other than the angry outburst from Andrew. He was so determined to drown his own thoughts that when he stepped into the archive room and spotted the tables that were already covered with open books and scrolls, he had to pause and really think before he realized it meant someone else must have been using the old room. 

“But we already know the queens can be expected to rise twice a Turn and produce an average of twenty-eight eggs,” a familiar voice reached him. Neil raised his brows at that and turned to see who was talking behind the bookshelves. 

“Yes, but that’s only for fully grown and already mature Queens. I think that for Lynth, who’s still young but maturing nicely, that might be a reasonable expectation within the next year or so. She’s only just on her third year of…” there was a mumbled continuation, then Dan poked her head out from behind another shelf. Neil glanced between her and the tabled now. “Oh- Neil. Good, you’re here. I was just going to ask you something.”

“Me?” he wondered, just as Wymack stepped out. “Neil?”

“Neil, you spend a lot of time in here. You wouldn’t have come across any information about Impressions and hatching while you were in here, would you?” Dan asked, moving over to him and handing him a heavy book. 

“I wasn’t looking specifically…” Neil said honestly, turning and almost immediately opening the tome she had given him. “Why?”

“Well, we… we kind of ran into a problem- specifically with how few dragons we have here, and how many islands there are between here and the mainland.” Dan started. Neil sat down at the nearest table and studied the pages. 

“Are we going to be expected to flame over all the islands? I thought the mainland would support the islands… and most of them are uninhabited…” Neil murmured quietly.

“Maybe so, but the water could be shallow enough to allow Thread to survive. And if Thread can burrow under one small island, what if it burrows far enough to get at the others? If we don’t flame over them, and if there’s vegetation and animals and healthy soil on any…” the Wyrleader was saying. 

“But we don’t have enough dragons?” Neil wondered. No wonder the Weyrleader and Weyrwoman had been worried lately. 

“We don’t, not with our small wing sizes… but if the weyrlings could fly in proper formation…” the Weyrwoman settled down beside Neil and turned to study him carefully. He shifted uncomfortably, and glanced up at her after a moment. “Your Tenith is a large green.”

“Ah… thank you…?” he shifted uncomfortably again.

“She’s almost as large as a brown would be at the same age from another clutch.” 

“Again… thanks?”

“And you take her on your little walks all the time- she’s constantly flapping her wings when she’s on the hilltops or the wind blows.” 

“I really appreciate the praise but--”

“The fact of the matter is that your green is almost as big as a brown from another clutch, but the browns from her own clutch are large, too. In fact, all of Lynth’s clutches have been really large. Healthy. Maturing faster than any others. Lynth herself was a little large, and Wy’Rhaun was a little larger than normal, but I’m not sure that would account for the changes. If anything, it would make them just a little larger, but Tenith is fast, too. Faster than any other green. We’ve been pleasantly surprised all around- for the last couple of years.” Abby stepped out from behind the same bookcase and Neil frowned, wondering how many other people were here. The room was only so large!

“I wasn’t looking for anything specifically, but I do remember seeing that most dragons now are almost double the size of the original dragons… and they get larger come Threadfall, don’t they?” Neil wondered after a moment.

“Yes!” Dan clapped her hands together and smiled. “That’s what we’ve been thinking. So then, we were wondering if there was a reason why- is it to allow them to flame more? To fly harder? Longer? Sooner?” she grinned at him.

“Sooner? Like, mature faster so they can get up in the skies faster?” Neil wondered curiously, gears turning now.

“Exactly.” the Weyrleader leaned over with another book for him and set it open in front of him, on top of his first book. “Look at that. A record of one young queen starting to glide when she was just six months out of the shell. With the way Tenith is going, she could probably glide from one of the higher weyrs by that time…” 

“Glide?” Neil’s pulse raced, and he reached out to listen to Tenith, only to find her already dozing lightly. Best let her sleep. “I see some of the weyrlings falling into flight from their ledges, but I always thought that was too dangerous. If her wings can’t catch her…” Dragons were strong and sturdy, but at her age, Tenith’s wings were still transparent! If she fell and stumbled them- ripped them?!

“That’s why we’re double checking and making sure that we can actually do it. Kevin says we for sure can, because at the Ravens nest they do it all the time. From the time of six months on up, they train every day for six months exactly to get ready to fly. And by the time they're done, they're ready to fly with a wing. When you consider they're probably around nine or ten at the youngest when they go through Impression… usually we wait for three years. Till the queen in that clutch is around ready to rise- we teach them all yo fly as a precaution. Make sure the queen is strong and can fly for the longest…" Dan pressed her lips together and finally looked away from Neil. "If we can start training the other clutches already, and keep them training till Threadfall, we'll have just enough to cover the islands."

"What's the alternative?" Neil wondered hesitantly. 

"If any man can't prove his hold, he forfeits his right. For dragons, if we can't hold our skies, we give them up, too. For the good of Pern, we allow a bigger, stronger Weyr to come in and help us." Wymack said, though his tone was bitter. 

"No." All Neil could hear was Andrew, proudly claiming the whole of Palmetto as his. The wind through the trees at the top of Fox Rocks. The happy chattering and tipping of the fox cubs below. 

"Telgar has already said they would happily step in and help us, even after the season is over. Riko himself would ensure that we are ready to fight Thread as good as any Raven." Wymack frowned deeply. 

"Neil, we CAN'T let them come here and take over. Not by losing in the games, and not by being short dragons in the sky. I thought it was strange when the mainland suddenly held a hearing and got the Harper's to redraw their boarders. It's just small islands, anyway, maybe big enough for a farm or two- nothin too profitable. But when you realize that they would be unclaimed lands and the closest Weyr would claim responsibility for them… it's too convenient for it to be coincidence. Especially when Testuji was the one who brought up the new land issue at the meeting…" Dan was murmuring by the end, hee gaze down at the book in front of her though she didn't seem to be really reading anything. Clearly, she was worried. Neil didn't know what meeting she was talking about, but assumed it was one that had to do with all the Weyrleaders, if it was suddenly so important, and she, as a Weyrwoman and senior Queen, would have definitely been there. 

To think the ravens would even go so far… 

"So we make sure as many dragons can fly. As soon as possible. And if Tenith can be some kind of starting sample for her clutch to make sure the youngest aren't straining themselves…?" He asked, moving on to something he could change. If the Ravens came for Palmetto, he had to be out by that time. It was one thing to have them in the sky, flying for a game, but something else to have them actually inhabit the island for extra training if they lost. To actually have the ravens come and take over Palmetto if they figured the Foxes couldn't take care of the land they were given? That was incomprehensible. 

Dan perked up a bit. "That's what I'm thinking. We can try a little bit at a time with her, as we try with the older Weyrlings, and have Abby keep a close eye on her. Since the others aren't going to be spending so much time with her, they won't be able to get jealous or follow her example and hurt themselves by trying too soon. We were really worried she was being kept from her clutch too much, but as it stands, she's actually getting around the same treatment as any queen." 

Neil bit the inside of his cheek as soon as he felt the blush start to creep up his cheeks. "Is that a bad thing? She's not actually a queen," he cleared his throat a bit. 

"No, it's not bad. Kevin chose her, and she's maturing just as well, but we were worried she wouldn't be able to make friends and really be a baby dragon, you know? But she's getting all the attention she needs, and all the other dragons adore her. Dote on her. Praise her until she really must think she IS as good as any queen." Dan chuckled a bit more and shook her head as she thought about Tenith. Neil still felt a bit embarrassed, and didn't know what to say to her. "But, it's not bad. Don't worry. It's just that she's separate from her peers, is all. But it's not bad, when you consider that she's going to be getting a slightly advanced training anyways. She already was, really, from hanging around the first wing, but now it's going to be even more. Since she's used to it, she won't know there's anything different." 

"We We're thinking about starting to have her working out just a little bit more with the others- carrying firestone a little at a time. Running with ground crew drills until she's ready. Stretching her wings. If it works well with her- and you have to know we'll nip it in the bud real fast at the first sign it's not going well. And I mean fast, Neil. We want the drsgons strong but were not gonna risk hurting them by moving then so fast- but if it works well with her, then we'll start letting the queen from her clutch do it, too, and then the others." Wymack said, and Neil was almost thankful for her stern interjection. It was familiar. Easy. Not like that sweet praise from Dan. 

"Yes, Weyrleader." 

Wymack gave a grunt of approval, and nodded as he turned his attention back to his book. "Either way, we were looking to see exactly when we could safely start. I think it might be okay now, since the clutches are so much stronger. Bigger… but I won't risk it. Six months is when the usual training should start. They'll be large enough then. Starting to level out growth and bulk up some." The weyrleader was saying, carrying the conversation back to safer grounds. 

“But we definitely want to be careful about it, and make sure the young ones aren’t being hurt.” Dan pointed out ,turning back to her book. Neil also turned to his own book.

“The idea of starting them out with stretching and exercising seems fine, though, right? Tenith runs with me almost every day, and stretches with the bigger dragons whenever she feels like it- and that’s nearly every day. She thinks it’s a game… and she’s always opening her wings and feeling the wind- whipping her tail around. I never thought about telling her to stop, and she still seems fine,” he explained. 

“We noticed,” Dan nodded with a slight grin. “That’s partially why we want to start the bigger ones on YOUR training regime and step up the yearlings. But, we have to do it slowly- and you’ve got to reign Tenith in some. I noticed her playing at flapping her wings a little too much sometimes, too.” Now, Dan looked more serious, and Neil glanced over at her curiously.

“Too much too soon can hurt her?” he worried.

“More than hurt- it could stunt her growth, or make her pull muscles or even grow them wrong or form bad habits. If she starts out too fast or doing too much when she’s not ready, her muscles could pull too much or even make her bone structure warp just from strain. You really should be careful… But we really should make you spend more time with dragons more her age. It’s our fault, partially. You don’t know HOW to let her be a child, and she doesn’t think she IS one. Just that she’s a little green queen,” Dan chuckled lightly. Neil only briefly grinned. He wasn’t sure if he liked the implications of Tenith being a little queen. She was a green- a fighting, flying, flaming green. Not an eggbound, Pernbound, all-responsible Queen. She was needed by her wing and her rider, but all of Pern didn’t look to her to supply the next generation and lead with wisdom and grace. If Neil needed to run, no one would be hurt by her absence. Not really…

Neil tried not to think of Andrew reminding him that he would be inviting his own death if he left the island. 

“I’ll make sure she’s only doing the proper exercises if you’ll help me with that.” He decided it couldn’t hurt to actually ask for advice and help. Even if it was directly from the Weyrleaders. 

“Actually, we were going to ask Kevin to help. He’s been worried about this for a while now and actually wanted to bump up our training stages for our younger dragons. We thought that maybe he was just being over zealous- a Raven…” Dan shook her head now as she flipped a page she hadn’t read. 

“Now, it looks like we really should have been listening to him all the while.” Wymack sighed. 

“Why did he decide to stay here?” Neil felt like a fool as soon as he asked the question, and almost cursed himself as the two weyrleaders gave him curious looks. “Well, seems to me like he was just kind of dropped off by chance, and he just kind of struggled along until Andrew… If even his suggestions weren’t being heeded… is Andrew really that important to him?” 

“Kevin…” Dan twisted her lips to the side as if she was biting the inside of her lip in thought. “Kevin was really like a lost little puppy for the longest time- kicked and shunned without any real place to go- he gave up hope… Andrew… It’s almost like he didn’t even have any hope to start with. But he still didn’t give up anything. He didn’t HAVE anything, but whatever he felt like should be his, he claimed. And he kept it. I guess for someone lost, a maverick like Andrew must be like some sort of oasis. Once Kevin had even the IDEA of flying again…” 

“Andrew promised to eliminate all the threats Kevin thought he had, if Kevin gave him something in return. I didn’t ask what that was, and honestly, I don’t think I wanna know. This whole team is fucked up- but Kevin is the son of an old friend, so I took him in and gave him a place to stay. Believed him when he told me what happened. Helped where I could. As long as Andrew helps him- which he seems to be doing a damn good job of- then I’m not gonna get between them.” Wymack said now. Neil took a moment to think about that, staring down at his own book.

“Why? Did he offer you something, too?” Dan asked.

Neil didn’t answer. 

“We can at least start the older ones doing hill runs next week. That can’t hurt them if Tenith is already doing them.” Wymack said after a moment of silence, purposely drawing Dan’s attention and seeming just the savior that his dragon was all those nights ago with his open wings and understanding eyes. “We’ll have them run up one hill, spread their wings and run down the other. If we keep them at it, they’ll be strong enough to glide in a few weeks.” 

“Then we can start the youngest ones on the hills after.” Dan added in a moment later, accepting the change of topic for what it was.

By the time Neil made it back to his room, his mind was abuzz with new ideas of training and flying Tenith sooner than anticipated. 

He was so deep in thought that he was already a few steps around the corner before he realized Andrew was waiting for him outside of his room door. Neil knew for a fact that Andrew knew how to open the door- and that Tenith would let him stay inside with just a few compliments and maybe a treat. The fact that he was leaning casually against the stone wall as if he belonged made Neil wary… but not immediately hostile. 

“Feeling better?” Neil asked quietly as he got closer, as if anyone was near enough to hear them whispering. Andrew turned to look at him, hazel eyes boring deep into Neil in a familiarly uncomfortable way. 

“I came back, didn’t I?” 

“What for?”

“Maybe I wanted to make sure you didn’t take the chance and leave while you could.”

“Are we playing your game again?”

“No.” Andrew pushed off the wall and took a couple of steps towards Neil. Despite his better judgement, Neil didn’t step back, or move aside. 

Andrew took another step.

Neil stood his ground.

“Interesting,” The blond’s lips quirked up in the first smile Neil had seen since meeting him there.

“What are we doing?” Neil asked, voice much more even than he expected it to be. He mentally checked to make sure Tenith was still asleep and suppressed the sigh of relief that desperately tried to escape when he found that she was and Andrew took one more step towards him, letting the warmth between them build as heavy as the tension.

“Good question.” Andrew purred, eyes tracing Neil’s face. 

“What do you want from me, Andrew?” 

“A straight answer would be nice.” 

“To which question?”

“All of them.”

“It’s a good thing we’re not playing your game, then.” 

“Good for you, maybe.” Now, Andrew smirked, though it never reached his eyes, and he took a step back, turning on his heel and starting down the hall.

Neil tried not to miss the hand in his hair pressing at the back of his neck, or the way Andrew would usually pull just shy of painfully on it, or the way he would usually relax his grip only once Neil submitted to him, or the gentleness that would follow, allowing Andrew to trail that very same hand over Neil's shoulders and back as he walked away. 

He tried, but he was thankful that Andrew had his back to him as an involuntary hand reached up to smooth the hair at the back of his head that hadn't even been mussed. 

“Are we going to practice?” Neil wondered. He knew it wasn’t quite time yet, but maybe Kevin wanted to go over the new flying stuff with him.

"We're going flying before practice." Andrew muttered. 

"Should I wake Tenith?" 

"Let her sleep. I want you."

"Why me?"

"You sure like asking questions but not giving answers. Just let me have you." Andrew snapped. Neil didn't say anything but followed him anyway. After a long moment of silence, the blond paused again, and turned to Neil. "You can say no."

"Why would I? It's just flying," Neil kept his voice as quiet as Andrews. 

"It's flying with me. With Yardith. Neil, you can just say no." Now, Andrew frowned at him, and Neil offered a shrug. 

"I don't wanna say no. Flying with you isn't so bad." He took a step forward as if to prove his point. 

Andrew took a step back. 

"I don't need your half assed answers tonight, Neil. Just tell me yes or no." He sounded serious, and Neil studied him for a moment longer. Andrew defiantly met his gaze. 

"Do you want me tonight because of what happened today?" He finally asked. He didn't know WHAT happened today, but he knew it was important to Andrew. The blond narrowed his eyes but never looked away. 

"Partially. I need something… opposite from that." Now, Andrew swallowed and Neil could tell he was waiting for a rejection. He took another step forward. Andrew took one back. "What are you doing?" He snapped. 

"Telling you yes." Neil shrugged. 

"Tell me with your words. Don't touch me." 

Neil brought his hands up and stopped moving forward. Andrew took a moment to study him, as if waiting for him to do something dangerous before he frowned again and turned back around, walking again. Neil caught up with him and walked beside him now. "Where are we flying?"

"Just up. I need to see what's mine and make sure everyone's safe." Andrew admitted. 

"..." Neil swallowed the question of if he was still one of Andrews things. People. Riders. He was still on the island. He still hadn't run away. Instead, "did you hear Palmetto is responsible for more islands now?" 

"Huh… how many more?" 

"All of them. All the way to the mainland." 

"Who decided this? Now Wymack?"

"Council. To see if we can fly it."

"And if we can't? Burrows effect all of Pern. We don't have enough dragons." 

Neil was impressed that Andrew realized that even with such little information. Did he just automatically remember each capable dragon they had? "Then we'll get help."

"From Telgar, who will probably be helping us train by then anyway. They'll have the right to occupy us then," Andrew realized, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. Neil watched him. 

"What are we gonna do about it?" Neil asked quietly. 

"According to law, it's as simple as letting those who want to help, help. If Telgar comes to our aide, nothing needs to be done… what are we foxes going to do…?" Andrew thought for a moment as they entered the weyr bowl. "What have Kevin and Dan figured? I bet that's what they were working on with Wymack."

"Start training the younger ones sooner. If the oldest of the hatchlings start training now, join the Weyrlings, we'll have double the fighting strength this time next year. With this year's hatchlings coming up, too. With luck, we can have enough to fly all the islands with full fighting strength. And a queen's wing. I didn't suggest the Queen's wing to Wymach and Dan yet but… it would be possible. It's been done before." Neil suggested. Andrew hummed quietly in approval as they stepped into the changing rooms and started to pull on their gear. 

"Then I don't have to do anything yet. Good job." 

"Me? I didn't do anything." 

"You will. And you got yourself included. With luck, you'll be helping train the queen from your clutch, and Tenith will be in her entourage." 

"How's that me doing anything?" 

"By the time Thread falls, Tenith will have bonded with that queen own way or another. It'll be one more reason for you to stay."

Neil paused, looking over at Andrew. He hadn't intended that. 

"Are you going to run away?" The blond asked, pulling in his shoulder pads. 

"I might not have a choice." Neil looked away, down at his bench. 

"You always have a choice. As long as I'm here, you will always have a choice."

"Am I yours then?" Neil asked before he could stop himself. 

"Do you want to be?"

"I don't know." Neil breathed honestly. Andrew nodded. 

"Yardith is ready."

Neil swallowed hard, but finished tightening his straps and pulling on his armor. When he was dine, Andrew was still watching him, and he paused, suddenly feeling naked, just like that first day. He remembered Andrews scars, and wondered if that had anything to do with what had happened earlier that day. It certainly had a lot to do with why Andrew didn't want to be touched. 

"Yes or no, Neil?" The blond asked him. "You can say no." 

Neil shook his head, and raised his hands up. "I want to say yes." He said, just as quietly. Something like relief washed over Andrews face, and was gone a moment later, as he reached out and took one of Neil's gloved hands in his own, pulling him out of the changing room and into the weyr bowl again, where Yardith was waiting for them both.


End file.
